Initial D World - Discussion Board / Forums
   
Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )Resend Validation Email

DJ Panel ( Server Stats )   Song History   Initial D World Chat Room (Discord)   Broadband Stream
RADIO BROADCAST » streaming at 96kbps with 5 unique listeners, playing Leslie Parrish - Save Me

       

4 Pages  1 2 3 » ( Go to first unread post )

Views: 27,404  ·  Replies: 90 
> [FANFIC] Carbon Expressway - Epilogue, A Rift in Time
Rudy
  Posted: Feb 14 2008, 03:58 AM


Unregistered












(THIS POST WAS REMOVED BY REQUEST)


This post has been edited by Dorifuta on Sep 28 2013, 11:10 PM
Meteor
Posted: Feb 14 2008, 04:43 AM


Were you expecting something else?
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 3,921
Member No.: 20,929
Joined: Oct 14th 2006
Location: Some place in South-East Asia





This is a rather different fic.

And I would like to see more.

*adds to fanfic list*

This post has been edited by Meteor on Feb 14 2008, 05:00 AM
Wheels84ss
Posted: Feb 14 2008, 04:53 AM


IDW Prime Member
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 607
Member No.: 275
Joined: Feb 25th 2003
Location: Sayreville, NJ





So far so good... I do like the writing style... lets see where it's gonna go...
red comet 7
Posted: Feb 14 2008, 02:31 PM


IDW Regular Member
********

Group: Members
Posts: 238
Member No.: 24,875
Joined: Jun 17th 2007
Location: Grand Bay AL





the writing is cool and all. i dont know if this is the case so dont hate me if im wrong, but this almost seems like youre a supra fan boy trying to make one sound cool...like the way you described the upgrades on it was like something you want to do to yours...i mean, you coulda started off with a turbo supra...it didnt have to be NA in the beginning..

and the yellow muscle car, sounds like a dream car of yours or something. that you would like to see in these manga and anime...
most people that write fan fics based on these stories, try and stay true to the world and basis of it...

and i mean in fiction your car can be anything. Any color, with all types of specs...and to me this sounded like you were tryin to write about you or someone you know owns a supra and used what they WANT to do it as the specs...


and thats cool and all, but the baby blue supra with a "flat black hood"??!?!
thats not something you just write in... the supra could've had a CARBON hood.

and Baby Blue? that would make the car look something like this.user posted image

thats not exactly a very popular color among supra owners...

it almost sounds like you own one, and are trying to make it into a "HERO" car...

sorry for the ranting, other than that the writing is good. those were just a couple of things that made me stop for a second. youre writing is enjoyable and i hope you contiune to enjoy the process of it, and keeping with it, so i can read more.

good job.
Drew
Posted: Feb 14 2008, 05:24 PM


Bought not Built
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 3,941
Member No.: 12,733
Joined: Sep 23rd 2005
Location: Driving through the night, down the hills...





Great job, Dori.

Got the roads dead-on down here in South Jersey.

Gotta rep & recognize, yo.

pnoytecknix
Posted: Feb 14 2008, 07:21 PM


IDW Special Member
*********

Group: Members
Posts: 275
Member No.: 17,159
Joined: Apr 10th 2006
Location: San Diego, CA





awesome start dori. cant wait to see where this goes.
Nomake Wan
Posted: Feb 15 2008, 12:53 AM


ShiMACHaze
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 19,542
Member No.: 5,394
Joined: Feb 5th 2005
Location: Drydock





QUOTE (red comet 7 @ Yesterday at 2:31 PM)
the writing is cool and all. i dont know if this is the case so dont hate me if im wrong, but this almost seems like youre a supra fan boy trying to make one sound cool...like the way you described the upgrades on it was like something you want to do to yours...i mean, you coulda started off with a turbo supra...it didnt have to be NA in the beginning..

and the yellow muscle car, sounds like a dream car of yours or something. that you would like to see in these manga and anime...
most people that write fan fics based on these stories, try and stay true to the world and basis of it...

and i mean in fiction your car can be anything. Any color, with all types of specs...and to me this sounded like you were tryin to write about you or someone you know owns a supra and used what they WANT to do it as the specs...


and thats cool and all, but the baby blue supra with a "flat black hood"??!?!
thats not something you just write in... the supra could've had a CARBON hood.

and Baby Blue? that would make the car look something like this.

thats not exactly a very popular color among supra owners...

it almost sounds like you own one, and are trying to make it into a "HERO" car...

sorry for the ranting, other than that the writing is good. those were just a couple of things that made me stop for a second. youre writing is enjoyable and i hope you contiune to enjoy the process of it, and keeping with it, so i can read more.

good job.

His real car is that color. link So you're probably right-on when it comes to his selection of vehicles.

However, what's so bad about that? What's so wrong about choosing cars you like for your fanfic? I mean, look at Twitchy's Haruhi/InitialD/Wangan fics. Does he not have a main character driving an Integra? Did you call him out on that, too? And I'm sure that plenty other fanfic authors put their own personal favorites in as well. Heck if I were to write a Wangan fic, I'd definitely star an SVX.

So what's wrong with it?
Proud Contributor of IDW Forums and the Music Section Revival Project
thx712517
Posted: Feb 15 2008, 03:54 AM


Request Title - PM Mods
**********

Group: Members
Posts: 447
Member No.: 23,877
Joined: Apr 3rd 2007
Location: Georgia





I think every author should be able to include his personal car as either a cameo appearance or as a villain car, but anything beyond that does need to be justified. The writing style is interesting, although using italics for speech in the first part of the story is a new one for me. The story does have potential to be interesting as long as it doesn't turn into the writer patting himself on the back for how cool he is.
Nomake Wan
Posted: Feb 15 2008, 04:12 AM


ShiMACHaze
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 19,542
Member No.: 5,394
Joined: Feb 5th 2005
Location: Drydock





QUOTE (thx712517 @ Today at 3:54 AM)
The writing style is interesting, although using italics for speech in the first part of the story is a new one for me.

The story does have potential to be interesting as long as it doesn't turn into the writer patting himself on the back for how cool he is.

He did that to discern between two un-named people talking to one another. Of course, by the rules of English, we should be able to tell that without italics anyway since you have to start a new line when the speech changes from one character to another (which he did). So the italics are kinda redundant.

This is right on point, and a major thing to avoid with original fanfiction. I agree completely; as long as it continues on within the story-land and doesn't turn into a self-promotion-fest it should turn out really cool.
Proud Contributor of IDW Forums and the Music Section Revival Project
red comet 7
Posted: Feb 15 2008, 01:23 PM


IDW Regular Member
********

Group: Members
Posts: 238
Member No.: 24,875
Joined: Jun 17th 2007
Location: Grand Bay AL





QUOTE (Nomake Wan @ Today at 4:12 AM)

This is right on point, and a major thing to avoid with original fanfiction. I agree completely; as long as it continues on within the story-land and doesn't turn into a self-promotion-fest it should turn out really cool.

and thats my problem with the car he chose.

he didnt just a write a story about an old supra.

he was very specific in the color "baby blue" with a "flat black hood"

first off baby blue is not a very traditional JDM color and "flat black hood" is pretty much as ricer as it gets.

he could have made the supra something really nice with a "carbon hood"

and like you said with the self promotion fest, thats what it sounded like...like he owned the car and was trying to make it "cool" by writing about it.

for example my FC in real life has a WHITE TII hood on it. that is because it was originally NA, and i converted it into a complete TURBO II. and the hood is necessary for the car to run, because the motor has a top mount intercooler, and that was the only hood i was able to get my hands on. but if i was writing a Fan Fic about my car, i would not include the part about a white hood. see what im saying? thats the point i was trying to make, and there is no problem with including the cars you love, anyone would do that. it just seemed like what you pointed out earlier, a self-promotion fest.

other than that its pretty good i enjoyed it for what it is.
Nomake Wan
Posted: Feb 15 2008, 01:27 PM


ShiMACHaze
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 19,542
Member No.: 5,394
Joined: Feb 5th 2005
Location: Drydock





Way to quote a later post in response to someone else and completely ignore what I said in response to your post, man. Thumbs up. Putting in one car that's yours and others you like into your fanfic is not what I'd consider a "self-promotion-fest." You should be able to tell that by my sentence structure. Lemme break it down for you.

"[A]s long as it continues on within the story-land and doesn't turn into a self-promotion-fest it should turn out really cool."

"As long as" and "doesn't turn into" suggest to the reader that the story is not presently a self-promotion-fest in my opinion.
Proud Contributor of IDW Forums and the Music Section Revival Project
red comet 7
Posted: Feb 15 2008, 01:38 PM


IDW Regular Member
********

Group: Members
Posts: 238
Member No.: 24,875
Joined: Jun 17th 2007
Location: Grand Bay AL





well in my opinion it was well on its way there with a car like that!

and i didnt ignore you. i stated exactly what was wrong with it. in detail i explained why i didnt like the car.

and i just said that putting car's you love and own in a fan fic is fine. so whats your deal?

your exact words were, "So whats wrong with it?"
and i told you.

so hows that ignoring you?

he was coming back to the forums and wanted opinions on his writing so i gave him mine, and you jump all over it. whats the deal?

Nomake Wan
Posted: Feb 15 2008, 01:41 PM


ShiMACHaze
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 19,542
Member No.: 5,394
Joined: Feb 5th 2005
Location: Drydock





Just seemed ridiculously harsh over something ridiculously small. tongue.gif
Proud Contributor of IDW Forums and the Music Section Revival Project
red comet 7
Posted: Feb 15 2008, 01:53 PM


IDW Regular Member
********

Group: Members
Posts: 238
Member No.: 24,875
Joined: Jun 17th 2007
Location: Grand Bay AL





Its the same thing in racing the small details decide the outcome.

and can make or brake the win.
Rudy
  Posted: Feb 15 2008, 11:48 PM


Unregistered












(THIS POST WAS REMOVED BY REQUEST)
Meteor
Posted: Feb 16 2008, 05:43 AM


Were you expecting something else?
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 3,921
Member No.: 20,929
Joined: Oct 14th 2006
Location: Some place in South-East Asia





The part with the Supra driver dying is slightly confusing. But the next chapter should clear that up.

And, as is your trademark, more well done driving scenes are present in this fic.

In short: MOAR! Please?
Drew
Posted: Feb 16 2008, 11:46 AM


Bought not Built
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 3,941
Member No.: 12,733
Joined: Sep 23rd 2005
Location: Driving through the night, down the hills...





Is that a hint of Nomake Wan I see there?!

Once again, another brilliant chapter, Dori!
MattW
Posted: Feb 16 2008, 12:36 PM


VOLVO For Life.
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 6,069
Member No.: 23,273
Joined: Feb 17th 2007
Location: Southington Connecticut, USA





Hmmmm, that "past" part seems A LOT like Vanishing Point. tongue.gif
red comet 7
Posted: Feb 17 2008, 08:20 PM


IDW Regular Member
********

Group: Members
Posts: 238
Member No.: 24,875
Joined: Jun 17th 2007
Location: Grand Bay AL





goin good so far...really open though..
Wheels84ss
Posted: Feb 27 2008, 08:57 AM


IDW Prime Member
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 607
Member No.: 275
Joined: Feb 25th 2003
Location: Sayreville, NJ





Another good chapter bro.. as always keep em coming... (and don't kill this one off when it gets really good like the last one)

And It usually takes him about 4 or 5 chapters to really get to the meat of the story... he likes to leave us hanging that way...
Rudy
  Posted: Mar 5 2008, 11:35 AM


Unregistered












(THIS POST WAS REMOVED BY REQUEST)
HashiriyaR32
Posted: Mar 5 2008, 12:16 PM


Unlimited Request Works
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 1,468
Member No.: 18,031
Joined: May 27th 2006
Location: Toronto, Canada





Care to explain why Tatsuya is driving a Z rather than a 911?

EDIT: Oops, didn't realize it's a demo car.

This post has been edited by HashiriyaR32 on Mar 5 2008, 12:16 PM
Meteor
Posted: Mar 5 2008, 06:47 PM


Were you expecting something else?
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 3,921
Member No.: 20,929
Joined: Oct 14th 2006
Location: Some place in South-East Asia





Another awesomely done chapter! Especially the high-speed Wangan battle between the FD, Z and the 'vette.
Drew
Posted: Mar 6 2008, 06:18 PM


Bought not Built
**********

Group: Advanced Members
Posts: 3,941
Member No.: 12,733
Joined: Sep 23rd 2005
Location: Driving through the night, down the hills...





The visual language used in the racing scenes is AMAZING!

Another great chapter, Dori.
Hannah
Posted: Mar 6 2008, 07:56 PM


Remember Me
Group Icon

Group: PONY FANATIC
Posts: 2,243
Member No.: 8,296
Joined: Jun 19th 2005
Location: Update Profile





QUOTE
Another awesomely done chapter! Especially the high-speed Wangan battle between the FD, Z and the 'vette.


What Corvette are you talking about? It was stated it WASN'T a Corvette.
However, if you wanna play "Guess That Car", be my guest.
Not all 'gaijin' drive Corvettes. D:

----


I really like how you incorporate all these different series.. It's really really interesting. Hurry up and post more chapters, ok? :3
Overall and seperately...
I really feel the character.. the way you portray each canon character and original character, it's really powerful.. true to their nature and yet unpredictable! If you know what I'm saying...

This post has been edited by Paula-tan on Mar 6 2008, 08:08 PM
Proud Contributor of Initial D World Forums

4 Pages  1 2 3 »