|Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )||Resend Validation Email|
Posted: Aug 8 2008, 12:24 PM
IDW Regular Member
Member No.: 27,213
Joined: Oct 28th 2007
Location: Mile high, piloting an Aeroplain
This is my first fan-fic so the quality may not be the best. And my english isn't not so good either.
4 A.M – Akina Downhill
Black-White Panda Trueno was doing it's delivery as usual, very fast. Corner was comming and you could hear how 11k revving 20v 4A-GE rudely revved near to it's redline and suddenly it tires started to scream and you could see how big 300mm Brembo's brakes were as red as red chili and how they were pushed to their limits. Then you heard how the driver made heel-toe downshift and how the 1.6 liter was animally revved at 11,000 rpm. But something was strange. Trueno's movements were different than yesterday. Was that another car than Fujiwara Tofushop's Hachi-Roku?
It was the dawn and whole city was waking up. Some real Project D fans were watching if their favourite driver Takumi-kun was delivering tofus. They were waiting Takumi and his 86 in the famous five-hairpins.
”There he comes!”
The 86's headlight showed up and fans were screaming becouse they thinked that they saw Takumi.
”Who the hell is that?” shouted Ryo, who was watching the driver od the Hachi-Roku
”Takumi or Bunta aren't that tall and his driving position was different than theirs. And he hold steering wheel differentely, like he was doing one-handed steer” said Daichi.
”He's cornering was fast. I think he was as fast as Takumi or even faster!” said Kusahiko, who was still in little panic. He thinked that who else can corner like that and in the same time has access to Fujiwara's Hachi-Roku.
4.21 A.M - Fujiwara Tofu Shop
Bunta heard how his creative peace-of-art was comming on the Green Shopping Street. He went outside and saw how his used ultimate downhill weapon was parked next to the shop. Drivers door opened and Bunta watched how tall black shadow hopped from Brides bucket seat and slammed the door.
"You did good job. Go to rest, tonight will be wild in Akina for all of the us" Bunta said.
Who that is? That will reveal in the next chapter, if you give comments and say if I did something wrong.
This post has been edited by TTH on Aug 10 2008, 04:46 AM
Posted: Aug 8 2008, 02:49 PM
IDW Jr. Member
Member No.: 30,283
Joined: Aug 3rd 2008
Location: Longwood, Florida
Well I'm not entirely an Initial D fan. But it was interesting. More details would help too. Like put in times of the day, the surroundings and other things. ^o^
Posted: Aug 9 2008, 08:28 PM
Were you expecting something else?
Group: Advanced Members
Member No.: 20,929
Joined: Oct 14th 2006
Location: Some place in South-East Asia
This interests me.
Also, whereas not being that good in English normally wrecks a fic, in this case it actually adds an unusual touch of humour. Keep it up
Posted: Aug 10 2008, 05:48 PM
IDW God Member
Member No.: 4,713
Joined: Dec 23rd 2004
Location: Miami, Florida
Not bad. More details though, and remember to continue writing and do not rush your writing - take your time.
Posted: Aug 10 2008, 11:51 PM
IDW Banned Member
Member No.: 14,568
Joined: Nov 24th 2005
Location: Varkaus, Finland
my my.. yet another Finn stumbling into the world of fanfiction..
hyvää työtä, jatka samaan malliin. kiinnitä kuitenkin hiukan huomiota kielioppiin ja artikkeleihin.