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> [FANFIC] Another Fanfic
zaqxsw76063
  Posted: Sep 20 2006, 05:31 PM


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i get bored so i just write a fanfic of id... well, kind of base on id anyway. by the way... i am kind of new here.... just to say hi

on mountain akagi, there is a loud noise of rotary engine from a distance. there is a S13 park on the side of road and two teenages are watch a car sliding toward them.

"he is going to crash, run!"

the white fc's drive step on the gas, and the car turn away from the teenages.

"wow, he has good skill and really fast" guy a said
"isn't that was the white comet of akagi?" guy b said
"we are getting goose bump!"

at the summit of the mountain, Ryosuke parked his car and step out of it. he order his brother, "Keisuke, bring me a bottle of water."

just as Keisuke went to the cooler to get water, there is a black car pull up, reving his engine.

"Ryosuke of Akagi, your brother defeated me before, now i am going to revenge for my lost, your FC is going to pay."

"but i dont' want to race," said Ryosuke.

"i just want to race you, no excuse."

Keisuke think his brother said i want to race, and said, "yeah, my brother is unbeatable... (quietly) except that stupid 86 of takumi. go ahead and race him and you will see that he is good."

"Keisuke!" Ryosuke stare at him, "i didn't say i want to race."

"What?" Keisuke try to hear what his brother said over the loud rotary engine

"yeah, i want to see you race too, Ryosuke." the gallery shouting

"Guess i have no choice. Keisuke, hold my bottle of water."

Ryosuke throw the bottle of water to him, and fire his FC's rotary engine

Ryosuke pull up to the black car's side and tell the driver to go ahead to start. if Ryosuke can't pass him, that it counts as the black car driver's win. if he get pass, that's a automatic loss for the black car driver.

the black car drive agree, he was thinking, "i heard Ryosuke is a very smart guy, but he is so stupid. i am going to win easily."

the black car start going and the white fc follow.

"what is the matter with that guy, is he trying to wait on me?" Ryosuke throught.

"this car is the best on the track, and this should be the best on the street too. Ryosuke, can you keep up with my R", said the black car driver said to himself.

when they going in the first corner, the black car brake and ryosuke brake too.

"anymore of this is a waste of my time, his braking is too light." Ryosuke throught.

after he said that, Ryosuke just step on the gas on the exit and pass the black car.

"i lost, my R lost, no, only i lost, Ryosuke is a good driver after all. i throught neon lights can give me 20 hp and body kit will give me +50 pt in handling, but i was wrong. the FC must have a rating of 10 in need for speed underground 2 because he is fast... i need to get the spinners tomorrow and fix my car's body kit. that will give me +60 handling and +70 in stability. i also need to add a triple wing spoiler so it give me more aero points."

Keisuke welcome his brother back and ask him, "where did you pass him?"

"On the exit of the first corner, i don't know what is his problem, but he was driving in first gear all the time... seems like the automatic car stuck in first gear. he forgot to put into D. also, who would race a Nissan Sentra seR with a rx-7? only this idiot would do it. and by the way, since when you beat that car?" said Ryosuke.

"i am sorry brother," said Keisuke, " i didn't mean to drag you to this. but i just have one thing to tell you, his car said SF R, not SE R. his sticker wasn't even make right. i beat him on the highway the other day. he was driving 15 km/h under the speed limit so i pass him."

"oh, i see. by the way, he destroy his fiberglass body kit when he exit the parking lot. he forgot there was one speed bumb there" said Ryosuke.

"well, i am sorry brother, is there anything i can do to make up for this?" said Keisuke.

"yes, go home and read my theory of the fastest on street tonight" said Ryosuke and smile.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! anything but that, pleeaaase?"

by the way, driver of that rice car is just an idiot, this is base on a car i saw in my school's parking lot.
Rudy
Posted: Sep 20 2006, 06:28 PM


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(THIS POST WAS REMOVED BY REQUEST)
pnoytecknix
Posted: Sep 20 2006, 06:53 PM


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QUOTE (Midnight Dorifuta @ Today at 7:28 PM)
Okay, dude, 3 things:

-Grammar

-Grammar

-Did I mention Grammar?

Honestly, most people consider storywriting to be a work of art, and when I have quite an unexcusable amount of careless writing thrown at me, I must speak up. Work on your sentance composure, and stick to past tense. And for God's f**king sake, learn to use punctuation!

Seriously, it was off-turning enough to make me stop reading past the first and second paragraphs.

+1....

but this is reminiscent of sum jackasses from my high school days... pretty funny shit actually.... not the story, my memories.
Taku_E70
Posted: Sep 20 2006, 07:53 PM


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QUOTE (Midnight Dorifuta @ Today at 7:28 PM)
Okay, dude, 3 things:

-Grammar

-Grammar

-Did I mention Grammar?

Honestly, most people consider storywriting to be a work of art, and when I have quite an unexcusable amount of careless writing thrown at me, I must speak up. Work on your sentance composure, and stick to past tense. And for God's f**king sake, learn to use punctuation!

Seriously, it was off-turning enough to make me stop reading past the first and second paragraphs.

Agreed...

I didnt like the ricer part + NSFU..

There's abit of ricer in all of us.. dry.gif
EA11R
Posted: Sep 20 2006, 08:03 PM


coffee break anyone?
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QUOTE (Midnight Dorifuta @ Today at 7:28 PM)
Okay, dude, 3 things:

-Grammar

-Grammar

-Did I mention Grammar?

Honestly, most people consider storywriting to be a work of art, and when I have quite an unexcusable amount of careless writing thrown at me, I must speak up. Work on your sentance composure, and stick to past tense. And for God's f**king sake, learn to use punctuation!

Seriously, it was off-turning enough to make me stop reading past the first and second paragraphs.

w3rd.

however...
QUOTE
"i lost, my R lost, no, only i lost, Ryosuke is a good driver after all. i throught neon lights can give me 20 hp and body kit will give me +50 pt in handling, but i was wrong. the FC must have a rating of 10 in need for speed underground 2 because he is fast... i need to get the spinners tomorrow and fix my car's body kit. that will give me +60 handling and +70 in stability. i also need to add a triple wing spoiler so it give me more aero points."
That was pretty hilarious! doesn't the n00b know that spinners only give +30 handling?