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Posted: Oct 6 2014, 12:22 AM
Request Title - PM Mods
Member No.: 25,717
Joined: Aug 6th 2007
Well, it's been quite some time, but I have returned after a long hiatus. And with my return comes the return of my story. You know...the one originally depicting the rivals of the Crave/Genki video game, Tokyo Xtreme Racer, in a romance-style novel with the lovable Haruhi? Yeah...going back and re-reading it, I realized how terrible it was compared to how I had originally intended it to be...thus my halting of writing out the rest.
I plan to edit the entire thing and make it the way I truly wanted it to be, and of course, I want to share it here.
A few things to keep in mind:
-Some of the characters will be changed, some of them drastically.
-This is no longer related to the Tokyo Xtreme Racer series in any way. Any and all TXR characters will be replaced by my own original characters, but should remain otherwise-unchanged. That means this is now an all-original story!
-I may eventually decide to do away with everything altogether. I find that writing in present-tense rather than past-tense lets races and the like flow better when reading, so I may COMPLETELY re-write this thing. But for now, it stays past-tense while I go through changing things.
I hope you enjoy this little re-boot, and tell me how you feel! Also, if anyone finds any mistakes, please please PLEASE PM me with them so that I might fix them! Thank you very much!
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Act 1 – Severed Ties
“They say, on the Shutokou…only one can truly be called ‘the fastest.’ All of the other racers work hard, striving for this goal. But in the end, there can be only one…”
There were so many lights that it looked as though the ground had traded places with the night sky. The nights were always like that in Tokyo; the city was most active at night, it seemed. The place that was most active, however, was the Shutokou Expressway. Not only did people use it to travel to and from work, but it was used by thrill-seekers as well. Every night, many people, both men and women, brought their cars out to the expressway. They brought their cars for one reason only: to race.
But not everyone on the Shutokou raced for the same reasons. Some raced to become the fastest; others raced because they lost a loved one in a car crash and wished to carry on their memory. But Haruhi’s reason was simple: she just wanted to see him again. Three months ago, Kevin left for Tokyo, saying he was going to quit racing and get a real job. Ever since he left, the racing team that he had trained himself just wasn’t the same. Morale was down, and there were losses left and right. Even Haruhi herself was finding it difficult to continue racing without him there. There was only one solution: find him…and bring him back.
She searched the expressway for any sign of that silver Beetle he drove. She knew he wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to race for very long. Racing was his life; it was the one thing he knew about more than anything else. He just had to be out there! Besides, she paid 30,000 yen to come out to search for him, and that wasn’t cheap at all! Well, it was the fifth time she had circled the expressway with no sign of his car. The sun began to come up over the horizon, and that meant it was time to go back. She disappointedly took one of the exits and went back to the apartment.
She locked the door behind her as she entered the apartment, then looked at the mirror on the wall. It had been so long since she’d seen him; she had grown her shiny, brown hair out, and it was just past her shoulders now. What if she did find him? Would he recognize her? She gave the mirror a tired and partially-frustrated look. She could hardly stand anymore. Her muscles ached as she moved over to the couch and fell onto it, exhausted. She immediately closed her brown eyes and dozed off. Meanwhile, life went on outside without her.
When she awoke it was a little past noon. She didn’t remember her dream. That is, if she even had one. Time seemed to pass much faster in Tokyo than where she used to live. She knew she’d never get used to it. But still, it was nice here. She was glad that her friend, Keiko, let her stay with her. She looked around, wondering where Keiko went every day. It was Saturday, so Keiko was probably sleeping too. And tomorrow they’d go to Denny’s for breakfast! She had to remind Keiko to wake her up. She could almost smell the eggs and bacon.
That night she watched the news. She didn’t really understand much of it, but Keiko had been teaching her some Japanese, so she understood the basic things. She started to wonder why, in the three months since he’d left, Kevin never called, even to see how the team was doing. What if something happened to him? Weren’t there Yakuza in Tokyo? Did they have something against Americans maybe? Did he wreck and die on the Shutokou? Was he even in Tokyo anymore? What if she was just wasting her time? Then she stopped. Why was she even trying so hard to find him?
The team wasn’t really that bad off. With Garnet as the new leader, they did win a few battles. It wasn’t like anyone else was trying to bring him back. She pulled the blanket Keiko brought her up to her mouth. She admitted to herself that the team wasn’t the only reason why she was searching for him. Ever since he left, there had been a void in her life; a void that she hadn’t realized was even there. Not until now. It was obvious that she missed him; she needed him. As much as she hated to admit it, she wanted him back. Her, and her alone. But even still, would he even care about her feelings? He never seemed to show any kind of interest in her.
Then again, maybe he would’ve cared more about her feelings for him if he actually knew she had them. She never did give him any hints to her feelings. Maybe she figured that driving well was what turned him on; maybe she hoped she’d get his attention. She covered up her head with the blanket, feeling stupid for even thinking that. When was morning coming? She felt so hungry. In fact, she hadn’t eaten all day, seeing as she was kind of asleep the entire time. Her first thought was “midnight snack,” but she didn’t want to be eating all of Keiko’s food. After all, Keiko paid for it, not her. She was the guest.
Suddenly, she remembered that she should have been out on the expressway to look some more! She jumped up and fell onto the coffee table. She always forgot that it was there. How many little bruises did she have from it again? She hit her right shinbone on it this time. She held on to the place where she bumped her leg as she hopped to the door. Keiko walked up behind her with her arms crossed. “Look at you! You’re being ridiculous!” Haruhi stopped; she knew it would come to this soon. Keiko was worried now. But Haruhi had to admit that she was right. She was being…ridiculous. Not that that would stop her.
Keiko pulled her back to the couch and pushed her down. “You aren’t going out tonight. You’ll get home around three and then you’ll miss our breakfast date! You were saying how you wanted to go, and I’m not going to be your alarm clock again!” Haruhi pulled her knees up to her chin in a pouting mood as Keiko walked back to her room. Haruhi said, “Who made you my mother all of a sudden?” Keiko yelled in Japanese for her to go to bed before she decided not to go to Denny’s, so Haruhi slammed her head on the pillow in anger. Surprisingly, she was able to sleep regardless of her bad mood.
At Denny’s the next morning, Haruhi covered her eggs with pepper as Keiko cut up her pancakes. As she began to eat, Haruhi overheard some men in talking about something interesting. One had short brown hair and seemed rather young, and the other was an old man, with thinning black hair and black jewels for eyes. The one with the brown hair seemed to have the floor in the conversation. “I’m not the only one who saw him! He beat the Jackal so quick that the man might as well have been sitting idle!” The man with the black hair calmly sipped his coffee and said, “Mmm. And you say he drove a red S30?”
The man with the brown hair nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I hear he’s undefeated. No one can keep up with him! I was afraid to challenge him!” Haruhi watched and listened intently. The man with the black hair seemed cool and calm, taking the brown-haired man’s story with hardly any interest. He sipped his coffee again before adding, “This is the same one that Eve wrecked attempting to keep up with?” The brown-haired man went silent, looking down at the table with a look on his face suggesting he saw a ghost. Slowly, he nodded and replied, “Y-yeah. It’s the same one.”
Keiko frowned and was about to tell Haruhi off for eavesdropping when Haruhi asked, “Hey Keiko? What’s an S30?” Immediately, Keiko’s mind went into ‘car freak mode’ as she began spilling info about the vehicle in question. “The S30 is the Fairlady Z. The 240Z where you come from. S30 is the chassis number for the first generation Z. They don’t make them anymore, of course. They’re pretty old by now. The dimensions are-“ Before she could go any further, Haruhi interrupted her. “Are they fast?” Keiko searched her head for horsepower and torque levels. “Not stock. They hardly have two-hundred brake-horsepower. You could get many different upgrades and engine swaps if you wanted to make it faster, though.”
She began to go into the specifics. “Most people prefer to switch out the original engine for a GT-R engine, but an L-type twin turbo was also a popular engine swap for it. Of course, the car is very difficult to control at high speeds. Horsepower was about six-hundred if you tweaked it right, and since it’s pretty light it gets up to high speeds pretty quickly.” Haruhi looked outside in a dazed manner and asked, “Are they any good today?” The question left Keiko with something to think about. “I…don’t really know. I haven’t seen someone race one for a long time. Like back in the eighty’s. Why are you so interested in old Z’s anyway?”
Haruhi put her head down and closed her eyes. “No reason,” she replied as the two men left. The brown-haired man got into a blue 300ZX, and the black-haired man got into…wait. Haruhi rubbed her eyes just to make sure she was seeing straight. No doubt about it. The black-haired man got into a black Porsche 930, complete with a special racing body kit! That was a serious car! How could she have missed seeing it this whole time?! Keiko saw it too. “Wow, a Porsche! That guy must be super-rich! I wonder if he uses it on the highway.” Haruhi watched as the cars pulled away.
On the way back to the apartment, another question started to bother Haruhi as they drove on the Shutokou in Keiko’s blue RX-7. “Keiko? Who is the fastest on the Shutokou?” Keiko thought about it for a bit. She watched the street lights go by as she searched her memory for the answer. Unfortunately, the answer was an unsure one. “Mmm…well…it’s been a long time since I last heard about someone who was the fastest, but a year ago…a year ago, there was Hideki. He still drives here, actually. He drives an R32…an icy blue GT-R R32. Last time I heard, it was Hideki that was the fastest.”
Haruhi began daydreaming about racing Hideki and beating him when two sets of headlights came thundering up to Keiko’s FD. Two GT-Rs, both R32’s. Keiko’s heart began pounding; on her right was a huge truck with a trailer. There were only two lanes, and both were filled. Should she slow down? Speed up? Before she could react, one of the R32’s, an orange one with a carbon hood, squeezed in between the two cars. The other R32 did the unthinkable: it squeezed in between Keiko’s car and the wall. Haruhi watched in horror and amazement as the car squeezed in; it was an icy blue R32.
Haruhi’s eyes went wide open. “Hideki…” The two R32’s drove past as though it was routine and thundered down the highway again, side-by-side the entire way. Haruhi could hardly breathe, and Keiko was furious. “What the hell were they thinking?! Probably weren’t! Crazy son of a-” Not wanting to curse in front of her friend, she honked her horn to complete the sentence. The sudden noise knocked Haruhi out of her state of shock. Keiko was right, she had to agree: those two were off their rocker. It was like they cared more about the race than their lives!
Is that what it took to be the best out on the Shutokou? Insanity? Or was it passion? What makes the drivers out here so extreme? Why would they take such risks just to stay in front? Later that night and into the morning, Haruhi took her own FD and cruised the Shutokou again. But this time, it wasn’t really to look for Kevin; she came out tonight to race. But as she thought about it, she knew she wouldn’t have what it took. The drivers around here were amazing; she was nothing compared to them. She felt so out of place. The drivers here were so passionate about racing.
As she returned to the C1 inner loop for the second time, she began to get discouraged about racing the drivers that ran here. As she cruised along the Shutokou, with lights flying by, she began to grow weary. “What am I doing? I don’t even remember anymore…” Just as she was about to merge into the exit lane, there was a flash of lights behind her. When the lights continued to flash, she looked in her rearview mirror to see what was causing it. It was the orange GT-R from earlier! “Flashing lights,” Haruhi said to herself. “Wait…is he challenging me?!”
Sure enough, the GT-R was tailing her.
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I'll be posting more later.
Also, something my friend made to celebrate the return of this story:
This post has been edited by fettman53 on Oct 6 2014, 12:29 AM
Posted: Oct 7 2014, 11:12 AM
Were you expecting something else?
Group: Advanced Members
Member No.: 20,929
Joined: Oct 14th 2006
Location: Some place in South-East Asia
And I'll be wholly looking forward to it.
The new direction of this reboot's looking pretty interesting already, and your writing (which wasn't unimpressive to begin with) has certainly improved even more in all this time too. If how this first chapter is handled is a sign of things to come, then things are going to be getting pretty good around here soon.
Posted: Oct 13 2014, 08:33 AM
Request Title - PM Mods
Member No.: 25,717
Joined: Aug 6th 2007
Act 2 – The Makeover
Her heart began racing; she knew she couldn’t keep up with him. Maybe if she turned on her hazard lights, he’d think she was a civilian and leave her alone. She switched her hazards on and waited. Suddenly, she felt a jolt; the GT-R had nudged her rear bumper! On purpose! The GT-R casually pulled up next to her and revved its engine. Haruhi did her best to stay calm; he wanted to make her angry, so she just had to ignore him until he left her alone. The GT-R suddenly turned as if to ram her, then turned the other way. This guy really wanted to race. But why? What did he want to race her so badly for? Maybe it was because she was new to the Shutokou and he was just curious as to her skill.
Or maybe he was a jerk asking for an ass-kicking.
Either way, she refused to give in. Not tonight. She just wasn’t in the mood. But the longer he bothered her, the more frustrated she became. The GT-R then pulled ahead and merged into the same lane she was cruising in. Suddenly, the GT-R slammed on its brakes, and Haruhi slammed on hers just in time to avoid running into the back of the car. What was with this guy?! Now she was officially angry.
She turned on her highbeams in an attempt to blind him. “Leave me alone! Asshole!” The GT-R wasn’t phased by the highbeams, however, and instead slowed down and merged back into the other lane, allowing Haruhi to pull up beside of him. Haruhi felt like ramming him into the wall, but a race would do fine. “You want a race? You’ll sure as hell get one!” She put her foot down hard on the accelerator, but her car didn’t pull ahead of the GT-R, and both cars went neck-and-neck down the expressway. Haruhi knew her car had a low top speed, and that meant she wouldn’t last much longer like this.
The orange GT-R gradually began to pull ahead, then suddenly shot forward, flames bursting from the exhaust pipe. Haruhi felt almost as though her eardrums would burst as the engine roared, accelerating the car off into the distance. Haruhi was determined not to let him go, however, and did her best to keep up, to no avail. But she kept going, pushing her FD as far as she could. As she sped around a tight left corner, she suddenly saw that there was a van on the right lane, and she was headed right for it!
She quickly slammed on the brakes. The sudden braking caused the car’s weight to slam forward. She missed the van’s rear by a few centimeters, but then her FD began to slide, all four wheels having lost traction. In a split-second, the nose of her car was pointing straight at the wall. Haruhi closed her eyes and listened as the sound of shattering glass and bending metal filled her ears. The front of her car grinded against the wall as it slid for a few feet before finally coming to a stop. Haruhi’s muscles were twitching as her body shook from the shock of the accident. She didn’t want to open her eyes. She had never crashed before in her entire driving career. Now her car was ruined.
She finally opened her eyes and got out of her car to reluctantly inspect the damage. The front bumper was bent out of shape, and the headlights were shattered. Not too bad, but she couldn’t bring her self to get back in and drive it, too ashamed of the damage. Instead, she called a tow truck and waited on the side of the road. As she looked off into the distance, she gritted her teeth. That jerk in the orange GT-R…what did he want to race her so badly for? Just to show off? “What a jerk,” she muttered to herself. And with that, she swore that she’d get her revenge on him.
Around noon the next day, Haruhi sulked around Keiko’s apartment, waiting for the call that her car was finished. The call never came. She sighed as the clock read 12:27 p.m.; she absolutely hated sitting around doing nothing. She decided that she’d bug Keiko to take her out to the Shutokou later. Before she could, however, Keiko had dragged her to the garage that was working on the FD. Keiko explained, “We’re going to give you a chance to change the aerodynamic parts on your car. You don’t have to, but I would recommend it…if you’re going back to the Shutokou.”
Haruhi looked at her curiously, raising an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t want me going out there,” she replied. Keiko shrugged, arms crossed, and said, “But you will anyway, right?” Haruhi looked down at her ruined FD, thinking about the opportunity given to her. After much consideration, Haruhi found herself looking through catalogues with Keiko, choosing the parts she found most attractive: a double-slit hood, RE Amemiya front bumper, special rear bumper with the red reflectors removed, smaller mirrors, a curving sideskirt, a low rear spoiler fit for stabilization at high speeds, and glass-covered, non-flip-up headlights. Then the tuning began for driving the highway. Her 473hp engine was reworked for a much more effective power output of 507hp. It wasn’t the best, but Haruhi could work with it. She watched as the process took place, and was very satisfied with the outcome.
She went to the Shutokou as soon as it was finished so as to break the engine in. Keiko tagged along. As she rode the highway in her new and improved FD, she couldn’t help but smile. It was so smooth, and the graceful aerodynamics made the car so easy to control. The suspension had been custom-tuned by Keiko herself, and the feeling was perfect.
After about a week, she began to get excited. Only a few more kilometers and it would be ready. The sky turned orange as the sun began to set under the horizon. She was determined to break the engine in tonight no matter what! She would be caught unprepared if she didn’t, and that wouldn’t sit well with her at all. Keiko was enjoying herself as she watched the city transform as nightfall overtook it. The sky turned a very dark blue, and a million lights seemed to come on all at once. Haruhi flipped on her headlights, carefully weaving in and out of traffic as she went at the break-in rev limit.
Keiko looked over at Haruhi’s figure; she was relaxed. Keiko admired Haruhi’s patience and perseverance in breaking the engine in. She also admired Haruhi’s pedal control. To be able to control her speed so precisely…wherever Haruhi used to drive, she must have had to go through rigorous training to be able to do it so naturally. Haruhi listened to the sound of the engine as she went through a tight, downward left. If the revs got too high, she’d hear it and adjust the accelerator accordingly. Racing in the mountains got her very well-acquainted with her car.
Only two more kilometers now. She wished she had some music or something; Keiko wasn’t much of a talker when in a car. She was always obsessed with how the car sounded and how the car felt. Riding in a car…it was like a wonderful dream to her. It was almost too good to be real. It was 8:30 p.m. now; and only one more kilometer. Haruhi couldn’t wait to be able to go all out, just to see how much it had improved. The tension was immense as she watched the distance meter. Almost…almost! There! She began to press the accelerator to the floor when a pair of headlights raced up behind her.
Curiosity overpowered her, forcing her to slow down. “Who is it? I’m dying for a race!” The car pulled up alongside the right of Haruhi’s FD. It was a jet black Silvia S15. Haruhi was about to floor it when Keiko put her hand on Haruhi’s left arm, watching the S15 closely. “No. Don’t try it. He’s one of the Untouchables of the highway: Reaper.” As Haruhi watched the S15 drive on, she suddenly realized that although the car looked stock, it had something about it. A powerful aura. “One of the…Untouchables?” she repeated as the S15 went up through the junction back to the C1 inner loop.
She narrowed her eyes and floored the accelerator. “It doesn’t matter. He’ll just be my FD’s first test!” The dark silver FD roared up to the black S15. Haruhi had her poker face on. She felt as though she had the advantage. The S15 most likely had a worn engine, and it seemed to Haruhi as though it was cowering in fear at her rotary monster. She flashed her highbeams at the menacing Nissan, raring to battle. Keiko’s eyes opened wide as she watched what Haruhi was about to do. “Are you insane?! I just told you not to challenge him!”
Haruhi frowned and replied, “That Silvia won’t be able to keep up with my car! I just know it!” Keiko gritted her teeth. “You…idiot!” As soon as the battle started, Haruhi’s arrogance disappeared as she realized why he was “untouchable.” As soon as it started, the Silvia began pulling away. Inside the S15, the driver frowned. No mercy. Never would he show mercy to anyone. No mercy.
A burst of flame came from the muffler, and the jet black S15 careened around a long left, leaving Haruhi far behind. Haruhi could hardly believe the car’s speed. Keiko crossed her arms and looked out the window in a frustrated manner. Haruhi sighed. “I was just testing my car out…” Keiko abruptly cut her off. “And how did that go, hm?” Then she started speaking in Japanese; half of it Haruhi didn’t even catch, but it was most likely a string of insults, so she didn’t care. Her FD had improved. She made all of the turns without any real trouble. She didn’t really care if she lost that race…or any race, really. Except…Haruhi had to know. “Keiko? Do you know the name of that racer in the orange R32?”
Keiko pretended to ignore the question, but then decided to answer. “He belongs to Hideki’s team, the Speedmeisters. His name is Daisuke…the Lunatic.” Hearing that name, Haruhi’s eyes narrowed. She would never forget the name, and she would never let him get away with what he did. She came to the conclusion that he only wanted to race her to show off. Keiko noticed Haruhi seemed frustrated, and became curious as to why. “What? What’s wrong?” Haruhi didn’t answer, too busy concentrating on traffic, searching eagerly for that orange R32. Keiko’s suspicions aroused, she gasped and shouted, “You’re not thinking of racing him now, are you?!”
Haruhi didn’t take her eyes off the traffic. She simply replied, with a sour tone, “I already did.” At hearing that, Keiko’s eyes opened wide in disbelief. Now it made sense; why Haruhi crashed was all clear now. Keiko was about to say something, but decided not to. Haruhi was in a bad mood, and when she was in a bad mood, Keiko didn’t like to bother her.
Meanwhile, Haruhi was still sifting through the traffic with her amber-colored eyes. No good; the GT-R was nowhere to be found. No silver Beetle either. She had almost forgotten about Kevin amidst all of the confusion that had been going on lately. In fact, the more she drove the Shutokou, the less she seemed to care about finding him. Her driving spirit seemed to be taking over. She was becoming obsessed with becoming faster. She wanted to be the fastest for once; she wanted to beat everyone, no matter how long it took, or even how impossible it seemed.
Her eyes were suddenly drawn to her rearview mirror. She was being tailed…but what kind of car was it? As if on queue, the tailing car pulled up along her left. It was a black Porsche! Just like that one from Denny’s! The 930 drove ahead and merged back into the middle lane. Haruhi didn’t bother to challenge him; she could almost see the car’s aura. There was no point in challenging him. However, his appearance reminded her of that conversation she heard at the restaurant. Was he out looking for that red S30 they were talking about? She watched him with interest. Should she follow him around?
It was almost midnight, and she was starting to run low on fuel. She frowned. Damn it…should’ve filled it up before she came out. In a few minutes, she’d have to call it a night and take her car to a fueling station. She really didn’t want to go though. The black 930 went through the loop line while Haruhi left the expressway, stopping by a fueling station to fill the FD’s fuel tank before going back to the apartment.
While they cooked their box dinners, Keiko turned on the television and stretched out her arms. “Aah…it’s so nice to be back home.” The microwave beeped, and Haruhi took out her roasted turkey breast with gravy and mashed potatoes. It had such a great smell, and it looked so delicious; it would taste great too! She sat on the couch as Keiko waited for her own meal. Haruhi felt like she should still have been out on the Shutokou. Once she got in the racing mood, nothing else seemed to interest her. She immediately started eating, which seemed to be the only thing that could truly get her mind off of it. But it didn’t work.
She began wondering if she should tweak her FD a bit. Maybe make the gears longer, but more close together. Did that make sense? She wished Kevin was there to help her out. He was the one that originally tuned the FD for mountain and track racing. Surely he could tune it for the highway as well. She closed her eyes; it didn’t matter anyway because she had no idea where he was! Keiko could tune a car, but Haruhi really wanted her car tuned by her leader again. Someone who knew her driving style well. And with Kevin not available, the only person who knew was herself. Which meant she’d have to modify it on her own.
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I hope you enjoy the story with its changes! It should be mostly the same, but the characters will be better! I may eventually change it one last time and make the scenes better (and change cars so that there's more variety) but for now this is all I have time for!
Posted: Feb 11 2015, 09:54 AM
Member No.: 45,221
Joined: Feb 11th 2015
Seems very interesting, and nice trailer xD