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> [FANFIC] Ghost of Akagi - Remix, Prolouge rewritten. Chapter 1 coming soon.
Meteor
  Posted: Mar 3 2008, 04:44 AM


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I feel that my fic here needed much, much improvement.

And for those of you who have not read the previous version. .

NOTE: This story is set in the future so most of the cars are made up by me.
NOTE #2: The prolouge has been rewritten as of 8th August 2008. You'll find that the course hasn't been written backwards any more.
NOTE #3: Rewritten again on 5th November 2008. I changed the ending of the race scene slightly


Prolouge

7:30 PM.

Amongst all the people and traffic, the low growling and purring of engines could be easily heard. Pedestrians and other drivers both looked at the cars that appeared to be travelling in what was somewhat a formation. These cars had distinct appearances, making them easily stand out from the rest of the traffic.

They were all sports cars. They weren't built just to get people from A to B. These cars were designed with performance in mind.

Normally, you'd see very few of them together in the same place.


The sun had set long ago. But the many headlights that had come to Mt.Akagi made it almost as bright as day.

And at the summit, two cars sat still, positioned side by side. Their headlights contributed to the mountain's illumination as their engines quietly but noticeably purred away

On the left was a midnight blue Lan-Evo XVI. Behind the 17" 8-spoke aluminium rims, one could easily see the massive brake discs. No attempt had been made at hiding the piece of carbon-fibre which sheltered the engine. The car had been lowered, but not so much as to make it impossible to drive. A subtle lip-spoiler was at the front of the car. And at the back, a box wing with round, blunt edges. The upper part of it pointed downwards at an angle of 7'.

It was particularly famous around here. And so was its driver, Masaki Hiroshi.

Masaki Hiroshi was in his 30s. He had short brown hair, as long as you didn't count the ponytail that nearly went down his neck. His eyes were black and he measured 5.7 feet tall. Grey trousers, a denim blue half-sleeved shirt and black sneakers were what he wore today.

Hiroshi had gone through plenty of opponents, and so far had yet to lose. He easily outran most of his competition

And on the right: a red Nissan Silvia S24 K. Its tires were fitted onto 18" 5-spoke golden rims, each spoke having a gap down the middle. The brake discs were of a diameter 3 cm smaller than that of the Evo's. Its ride height had been slightly reduced, with the front placed a little lower. The car had a round look up front, gradually going to a boxy look at the back. And a small factory spoiler had been left on the rear. Its driver: Hiburo Jo.

Hiburo Jo was the younger of the two. He had black hair which ended just below his ears. His eyes were a brown so dark it was often mistaken for black. He measured 5.4 feet tall. And he was currently clad in black jeans, a green and white T-shirt and red and white sneakers.

Jo was another skilled racer. Fast on the uphill and fastest on the downhill. He had appeared on these roads a month ago, making quick work of the majority of racers here.

The galleries stood silently, waiting for the 2 cars to start.

'5!
4!
3!
2!
1!
GO!'

The tires squealed as they clawed for traction. Both vehicles took off, the Evo quickly taking the lead. Accelerators remained pressed to the floor as the cars made it past 3rd gear and floated over to the right lane. The road had begun to curve slightly to the left at this point, and this curve eventually increased into a high speed left turn. But both cars kept to the outside as they rounded this turn, setting themselves up for the sharper left-turn just ahead.

As said turn came closer, both cars braked, and 2 seperate downshifts were audible. Entering early, both machines cut past the apex before inertia eventually sent them back onto the outside. And this outside soon turned into the apex of a right curve. Braking in preparation, the cars took an apex-mid line around the shallow right. And then, steering wheels were spun to the left as both cars entered the left hairpin, using their accelerators to slide into it and exiting from the outside onto the next straight.

The straighter the line, the faster. And these two knew the road they were racing on.

Cutting across the left chicane, both drivers found themselves facing a right-hander. Again, entering from the outside, both drivers braked and made use of a heel-toe downshift from 3rd to 2nd; the Evo now at 7000 RPMs and the S24 at 6500. For a split second, Hiroshi steered into the corner under zero-throttle, before the accelerator met the floor and sent the AWD sliding. However, Jo instead kept braking into the turn, gradually reducing his braking as the S24 neared the apex. While the Evo driver cut off the throttle right after the apex, the S24 driver begun lightly pushing down on the accelerator at that point. Right afterwards, Hiroshi quickly floored it. Both cars exited on the outside.

A long straight awaited both cars afterwards, allowing Hiroshi to pull ahead. As the road curved slightly to the left, the S24 found itself half a second behind the Evo.

And then the two noticed another set of headlights behind them. It was quickly catching up.

A wide right hairpin lay ahead. The kind of corner that required significant skill to drift around. Braking late, all three cars slid into the corner. Hiroshi prepared himself to countersteer at the right time while Jo stayed focused on his throttle control.

And the mysterious vehicle had overtaken the other two cars, by sliding right through them as if they weren't even there. Concentration broken, Jo's foot froze on the throttle, his FR being the first to spin out. While Hiroshi missed his countersteer timing, braking just in time to slide his car away from the inside railing before using the E-brake with it to quickly slide to a stop. The two could only catch a glimpse of the Mazda badge before the car had disappeared from their field of vision.


According to the galleries, that car had simply disappeared by the next hairpin.
____________________________________________________________________
Comments, suggestions and constructive criticism are welcome.

This post has been edited by Meteor on Nov 4 2008, 08:22 PM
thx712517
Posted: Mar 3 2008, 10:38 AM


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I actually like this. The future vehicles are interesting (S24, Evo what, sixteen?) but of course, the sit-up-and-take-notice moment has to be the Mazda badge. Keep it up! Remixes can be fun.
jpn6438
Posted: Mar 3 2008, 07:09 PM


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Quite a good start! Can't wait to read more.
Meteor
  Posted: Mar 13 2008, 10:14 PM


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Thanks for the reviews you two. It's good to know that people actually enjoy reading what I type, and this motivates me to continue the story.

Sorry about the delay. I was a bit ill (and am still ill, but a bit less than before) these last few days. But I've begun working on Chapter 1 now.

It should be here in a few days.

EDIT: It's taking longer than expected. But, oh well, here's a spoiler for you. Not that it'll interest you that much anyway.
SPOILER


This post has been edited by Meteor on Mar 25 2008, 11:41 PM
wing_0
Posted: Aug 7 2008, 09:18 AM


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A mysterious ghost on Akagi... you sure know how to start a story, Meteor. smile.gif One thing really makes me wonder, I hope you'll explore it in the later chapters as it really has potentials. During the time period between the present day and your story Mitsubishi has created six generations of the Evo, and Nissan went with 9 generations of the Silvia. I'm sure a lot has happened during the time, so you have a great theme to exploit. Mmm... potential this fiction has, methinks!