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Initial D World - Discussion Board / Forums > Initial D Fanfiction > [FANFIC] The Takahashi Brothers


Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Dec 6 2012, 06:53 PM
*Before you read the story, I'm from Malaysia and English is not my native language. So, grammar mistakes are not uncommon. That's all I have to say, enjoy! wink2.gif*
*Thoughts are in italic*



CHAPTER 1: AN IMPOSSIBLE SURPRISE

Keisuke, as usual, was training at Mt. Akagi. Even though Project. D has successfully conquered the Kanto region of Japan and Ryosuke has gone to the medical school, Keisuke never forgets that he still needs to beat Fujiwara Takumi, Project. D’s downhill ace. This time, the battleground, is here…

Fumihiro, along with Kenta, was supervising Keisuke’s work. A familiar roar of a rotary engine was heard by them. They knew Keisuke’s coming back.

“My FD’s performance has improved a lot since two years ago. Time sure flies, doesn’t it?” said the young Takahashi brother.
“It sure does. Your footwork is getting better every day too, Keisuke-san! There’s no way you could lose to Takumi now.” said Nakamura Kenta, the third seat of Akagi RedSuns.
“Did you guys hear a rotary engine’s sound?” said the confused Fumihiro.
“What? Aniki said he needs to write some medical reports and won’t be coming to see me practice.” said Keisuke.

Just when they were wondering who could it be, a heavily modified blue RX-7 InfiniThree, otherwise known as a FC3S, showed up.

“Just as I expected, it’s not Aniki.”

A tall, skinny young teenager with red hair, wearing a very plain T-shirt with a pair of black slacks, stepped out of his car.

“Excuse me, is Takahashi Keisuke around?” said the young man.
“I am Takahashi Keisuke and what do you want from me?”
“So, you are the famous Fastest Fireball in Kanto, eh? I just wanna have a battle with you, here in Mt. Akagi.”
“Sorry, but we don’t race in …”

The redhead continued his sentence as if he knew what the blond was about to say.

“… Your own home course? Ya I know, but that was RedSun’s policy, wasn’t it? And if I recall, the RedSuns have disbanded to form Project. D, am I right?”
“How did you…… know?” Keisuke was kinda shocked to hear that.
“Well, let’s just say your brother is not the only one who can find all the information he needs through the Internet.” The redhead said with a smile.
“Fine, you got me. What are the conditions?”
“A lead-chase style rule down Akagi. I think you are familiar with that.”
“Yes. Fumihiro!” Keisuke shouted.
“I got it. Would you want to lead or chase in the first round?” Fumihiro asked the skinny kid.
“I would want to lead, and there won’t be a second round.” The stranger said it loud enough to be heard by the FD driver.

When Keisuke heard that, he whispered to himself. “What a punk… talking like this is his home course. I’ll show you what a Project. D’s ace can do!”

Go! Yon! San! Ni! Ichi! GO!!!

Nothing really special happened in the first half of the course. Keisuke followed the FC closely and waited to make a move.

“There won’t be a second round? Your arrogance will be your downfall. I swear I’m gonna defeat you in the first round!” said the angered Keisuke in his mind, picking up his pace.
“Looks like my plan worked perfectly.” the redhead thought after looking at his rear view mirror with a smile.
“A few more corners and we will reach the 4 consecutive hairpins. Keep following me, Takahashi Keisuke.” the guy added.

The FC driver braked, shifted down the gear to 3 and gripped through a corner. A very typical cornering.

“You are not so special after all. Compared to the racers in Kanagawa area, you are nothing to them.” “3 more hairpins to the finish line. And you said there won’t be a second round.” Keisuke thought.

Suddenly, the brake lights of the FC lit.

“What the……?!” Keisuke stepped on the brakes immediately to prevent him from crashing into the driver in front. The FC kept accelerating, pulling away from the yellow FD.

“Damn! It’s a feint! In a middle of a corner!” Keisuke hit the gas as hard as possible, even though it’s already at the pedal’s limit.
“Out of all the Project. D’s battles, I find the battle between Sakai and him very amusing. Feint braking…… one of the most used tactics in circuits, and one of the most effective. Sakai used the trick too early in his battle, that’s why he lost.” explained the redhead.
“No no no no no! He’s pulling away! Come on FD, please do this for me!”

The FD was trying his very best for his beloved owner. When they cleared the hairpin, the blue FC has disappeared.

“NO!!!” Keisuke screamed at the top of his lungs.

After Keisuke passed the finish line, he saw the guy waiting for him.

“Why did you wait for me? You already won, why wait for the loser?” said the depressed Keisuke.
“Because I have something really important to tell you. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody of our battle. I just wanna have some fun with you.”
“Something important?”
“Yes. Your father was divorced right? Well, he married another woman soon after.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I was their by-product.”
“You……….”
“Yes, Takahashi Keisuke. I am Takahashi Rensuke, your half-brother…”



CHAPTER 2: CATCHING UP

"You're kidding, right? I'm not quite convinced. Prove it to me." The skeptical Keisuke said.
"Your father is a doctor named Takahashi Ishikawa. He is 38 this year. Your mother is Keiko Sakura, she's a 34-year-old housewife. They have been married for 15 years." Rensuke said with so much confidence like he knew them for a very long time.

"So, your mother...... Is she treating my father well?"
"They are happy with each other, let's just leave it at that."
"Why didn't our father tell me and my brother about this?"
"That, I have no idea. You'll have to ask him yourself."

"Why did you show up now? Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Keisuke had so many questions he knew he had to ask them.
"I wasn't keen to meet you at first. When father told me about you and Ryosuke, you guys were battling the 246ers. Before showing up, I wanted to see whether you guys could beat the Kanagawa area. After all, all sorts of professional racers gathered there. I wanted to see how good Kanto's Rotary Brothers were."

"Hmmm, I never thought we had a half-brother."
"Two actually. Sorry, I should've told you I have another little brother. His name is Takahashi Zansuke."
"Two?! Just how many secrets are the old man hiding from us?!" Keisuke was so mad with his father for not telling Ryosuke and him about all of these.

"It's getting late. I better be going now. Let's catch up some other time. Know any nearby restaurants where we can do so?" said Rensuke after looking at his phone.
"How about Jonny's? It's not far from here." answered Keisuke.
"Great. Then it's settled. Meet me there at noon this Saturday, how's that? I might bring my brother along."
"Sounds good to me. I'll tell Aniki the details."
"Alright, be seeing you, Kanto's Fastest Fireball."

On the day of the meeting, a white FC, a yellow FD, a blue FC and a black FD, all heavily modified, parked next to each other at the Jonny's. Many people thought there was some kind of racer gathering.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Takahashi Ryosuke." said the oldest Takahashi among them.
"And I am Takahashi Zansuke. Nice to meet you." An average 18-year-old kid said.
"Oh my, you're young. You sure remind me of Shinji and Takumi." said Keisuke.
"We were trained very young. We also formed our own team, *C.o.R.E* and conquered the Chubu region, just like you guys conquered Kanto." The redhead Rensuke said.
"*C.o.R.E*?" Ryosuke asked.
"*Cars of Rotary Engine*" The Chubu's Takahashi Brothers said together.
"You guys lived in Chubu? Where exactly?" Ryosuke asked again.
"Nagano." said Rensuke.
"Home course?" Keisuke couldn't contain himself.
"Mt. Mizuo." answered Rensuke to his half-brother's question.
"Hey Aniki. Why don't we take a spin down their home course?" Keisuke asked excitedly.
"I don't see why not? You don't mind right, Rensuke?"
"Not even a little bit. I'm so honored. The famous Takahashi Brothers want to take a look at our home course!" The blue FC driver smiled.

Zansuke just stared at them the whole time without saying anything. He was just the kind of guy who didn't talk much.



CHAPTER 3: RYOSUKE'S COMEBACK

The 4 rotary cars sprinted through the highway heading to Nozawaonsen, Nagano. By the time they reached Mt. Mizuo it was already 8 at night.
"Finally, I seriously can't wait." thought Keisuke with excitement.
"Hmmm? There're a couple of guys up there." Rensuke thought.
As they approached the peak, they saw two men standing side by side, talking and laughing with each other.

"Sorry, but who are you guys?" Rensuke questioned the two men.
"Oh, don't mind us. Hehehehehe......" said one of the man who wears a black Nike cap and Nike sneakers. The other guy was looking at the car beside him. It was a red Ferrari 458 Italia.
"Hmmph, don't think you can defeat me in a race with one of those." thought Rensuke who despised Ferraris and their drivers.
"Alright, feel free to use our home course. You have my permission." said Rensuke to the Takahashis with a smile. Zansuke nodded afterwards.
"Ha, as if we ever needed that." said Keisuke. "Let's go, Aniki."
The Takahashi Brothers stepped into their respective rotaries and took off.
"One of the things I like about this course is we can see them very clearly from here, wherever they are." Rensuke explained to his brother.
"It's just the difficulty of this mountain attracted me though." replied Zansuke.

"Hehehe, I think we should go too, or we won't be able to catch them."
"Relax, with this car, no one can beat us."
They went into the red Ferrari right after they finished talking.
"Hmm?" thought Rensuke.
"I think they want to raise a challenge to our brothers." Zansuke speculated.
"Hmmph, no matter how hard they try, they can never beat Gunma's Takahashi Brothers. Furthermore, this is a touge. They just dug their own grave." said Rensuke.

"This is one unique course." Ryosuke thought.
"Interesting... this course is very similar to Sadamine. The road isn't really flat, so throttle control is crucial." thought Keisuke.
Suddenly, a flash of headlights appeared in their rear view mirror.
"Is that Rensuke? No... the car is slightly reddish in color. The Ferrari we saw earlier, perhaps?" Keisuke thought.
The Italia driver flashed his headlights a few times.
"Maybe I'll let Aniki do the battling. He hasn't raced for a while now." Keisuke slowed down and let the 458 pass him.
"He slowed down." said the guy wearing glasses.
"Hahahahaha! He is probably scared of us." said the Nike man.
"So Keisuke wanted me to battle them? Fine then, it's been a long time since I last raced." the white FC3S driver thought.

*Flashback*
"Man, highway battles are too easy! I want a real challenge!" said the Nike guy.
"You know, how about we have some fun at the touge near our usual meeting place?" his best friend said.
"That touge? I heard there's a local team there that conquered the Chubu region. If we defeat them, we will be famous! Girls will also swarm around us!" the Nike guy laughed sinisterly.
"If I'm not wrong, the team was *C.o.R.E.*"
"What a lame name! I'll save them some face by defeating them!"
*End of flashback*

"Come on, *C.o.R.E.*! Is that all you got? You can do better than that!"
"Another weak racer behind the wheel. Well, at least he's better than the Porsche driver. The road now is too narrow for you to pass me. I'll see how much pressure you'll put on your wheels."
"Damn, is he mocking me? He runs so slow! Whenever I wanted to pass him, the road narrowed down. This is frustrating!" complained the 458 driver.

*Meanwhile on the peak*
"Sooner or later, the Ferrari's gonna get into an accident." the redhead said.
"How can you tell?" asked Zansuke.
"He was so eager to pass brother. Whenever the road widened, he accelerated. But when the road narrowed again, he braked. Hard."
"Another newbie, eh?"
"Duh!"

"I appreciated your offer Keisuke, but they really are nothing." Ryosuke said in his mind.
"I sensed that Aniki was complaining. I'm not surprised though. Even I'm disappointed." thought the blonde.
"I feel there's no need to prolong this race anymore. Guess I'll do an all-out sprint."
Ryosuke finally sped up and made his move.
"He finally made a move. Let's go!" said the Ferrari's navigator.
"About time!" the driver exclaimed.

The Ferrari followed the FC closely, but when a corner appeared he stepped on the brakes as hard as he could.
"Damn! This is boring! Why do touges have so many corners?"
After he cleared the corner, he no longer saw the FC's taillights.
"Darn it! I refuse to believe my Ferrari can't catch up to his crappy car!"
Just as he accelerated, another corner came up. He didn't brake, in fact he just let off the gas.
"F*** the brakes!"
As a result, the Italia drifted off the line they wanted because of the gripless tires. And so they crashed into the wall.
"Aarrgghh!!!" the both of them screamed.

"I guess I'll go back." Ryosuke thought.
On his way back, he saw the Ferrari in bad condition and Keisuke's FD. Ryosuke got out of his FC and hurried towards them.
"Are you guys alright? Injured?" asked Ryosuke.
The two man shook their heads and looked down on the ground, ashamed of what they did.
"Your car is wrecked. I can help you repair it." Ryosuke asked them.
"It's ok, you don't have to. It's my fault and I'll fix this. Incidentally, are you the leader of *C.o.R.E.*?" the 458 driver brought up a question to Ryosuke.
"No, I'm not. Do you remember the man we talked to earlier? He is."
"I see.........."
"Please, at least let me call a tow truck for you."
"Thank you..."

*Meanwhile on the peak*
"Do you find this scene strangely familiar?" Zansuke asked his brother.
"As a matter of fact, I do remember. The crash was similar to Shoji Shingo's from the NightKids."
"Oh, right."

"We should get back to the top, Keisuke."
"Sure thing, Aniki."
The Takahashi Brothers went into their cars and drove to the peak.

"Rensuke, I think we should go back to Gunma now." Keisuke said.
"Ok, sure thing."
"Wait!"
The three looked at Zansuke.
"Ryosuke, if it's alright with you, I would want to battle with you, here."
"And why's that?"
"I want to see how I fare against the leader of Project. D."
"Fine. What's the date and time? It has to be a weekend though."
"Next Saturday, 9pm. Before then, you are welcome to practice on our home course to your heart's content."
"Thank you, see you then." Ryosuke said.
"Bye."
The two pairs of Takahashi Brothers bid each other farewell.



CHAPTER 4: ZANSUKE VS RYOSUKE (PART 1)

It was a fine night at Mt. Mizuo. Both parties were totally prepared for the battle tonight. Galleries flooded the mountain. They have heard. Akagi's White Comet versus Mizuo's Dark Knight.

"Oh my god! I can't wait for the battle!" screamed a Ryosuke's fangirl.
"Tell me about it! Ryosuke has not raced for a while now. I wonder how he will fare against the locals?" replied her friend.

"So Ryosuke's gonna race huh?" said a man with black curly hair wearing a black jacket.
"Looks that way. He is in for a tough fight. In terms of fame and skill, *C.o.R.E.* is pretty much equal to Project.D if not more, or so I heard." replied a man that looked like a monk.

*At the peak...*
"Matsumoto, is the car ready?" The eldest Takahashi Brother asked.
"Everything's fine, Ryosuke-san." Fujiwara Takumi's mechanic replied.

"You sure you want to do this, brother? Ryosuke is the leader of Project.D, the team that conquered Kanto." Rensuke questioned his little brother's abilities.
"Don't worry. Since when did I lose?" Zansuke smiled.
"Alright then. Do as you wished."

The 18-year-old kid approached the leader of Project.D.
"We'll start from here side by side and the finish line will be at the Fireweed Garden." Zansuke told Ryosuke.
"Understood." Ryosuke nodded.

"Are the racers ready? The countdown is about to start." Fumihiro yelled loud enough.
"I will do whatever it takes to win." Zansuke thought.

5... 4... 3... 2... 1... GO!!!

The black FD let the white FC took the lead even though it was only one round. They came to the first hairpin; braked, shifted down the gear to 3, cleared the corner.

"Let's see if our brother has the skills." Rensuke's little brother thought.
"Since this is an uphill course, horsepower is one of the winning factors of a battle. My FD should have more power than his FC's. But I wouldn't count on that too much. A great driver can even out the power difference
greatly.
" Zansuke said to himself.

"I wonder, should I get serious for him?" Ryosuke thought.

"The showdown would only begin after we passed the 2nd section." Zansuke speculated.***(See below)

"Are you gonna use that, brother?" Rensuke said to himself.

They have reached the 3rd section.

"Time to show Ryosuke-san what I'm made of!" Zansuke said.

Right before the last hairpin in 3rd section, Zansuke closed his headlights.

Coincidentally, Ryosuke looked at his rear view mirror to see if his opponent was following him.

"Hmm? He's gone? He was just right behind me. Wait...... Could it be?"

A few seconds later, Zansuke opened his headlights back on and now he is side by side with the FC and accelerating.

"How did he...?"

*Flashback*
"I've mastered it." Zansuke said to his aniki.
"Mastered what?" Rensuke asked.
"Fujiwara Takumi's blind attack..." Zansuke said.
"Oh I see.......... You WHAT?!" His brother was shocked.
"Since my whole FD is black and the environment is pretty dark here, Fujiwara Takumi's blind attack would definitely gives me an edge in this battle." Zansuke explained.
"I got the point, but when did you...?" Rensuke asked him again.
"Oh come on brother, you do know we went to look at Project.D's Kanagawa races, right? I picked it up then." The kid said.
"Well, true. Who would've thought huh?" Rensuke was impressed by his brother.
Zansuke smiled.

"Yes, I've passed him. I wonder how's our brother reacting?" Zansuke thought.

"Did he come up with that on his own? Or he just copied Fujiwara's technique?" Ryosuke was baffled.
"Either way, he's not one to be trifled with. I guess I should go all out."


*So, do you guys like the story so far? Ya I know, it's kinda cheesy right? Feedbacks and comments are very much welcomed.*

Posted by: shadow55419 Dec 6 2012, 07:38 PM
not a bad way to start off, i'll keep reading.

Posted by: Saxifrage Dec 6 2012, 11:06 PM
My first reaction to this was : I see what you did there XP

Apparently you're describing him as yourself laugh2.gif

Well about the mistakes..I spotted some..not much though..

QUOTE
Nothing really special happened in the first half of the course. Keisuke followed the FC closely and waiting to make a move.


That should be "waited"

QUOTE
“You are not so special after all. Compare to the racers in Kanagawa area, you are nothing to them.”


Should be "compared"

QUOTE
The FD was trying his very best for his beloved owner. When they cleared the hairpin, the blue FC has disappeared.


I think it should be "its",the FD isn't a human being...

QUOTE
“NO!!!” Keisuke screamed to the top of his lungs.


I'm pretty sure that should be "at"..

QUOTE
“Why do you wait for me? You already won, why wait for the loser?” said the depressed Keisuke.


You should replace it with "did"


Keep the chapters coming smile.gif
Aww rats if I weren't so sleepy(because of the cough medicine's side effects), I would've finish off the rest of my Chapter 3 sad.gif

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Dec 7 2012, 01:52 AM
QUOTE (Nicholas86 @ 2 hours, 45 minutes ago)
I think it should be "its",the FD isn't a human being...

Well, in old times, people tend to call their car a girl e.g. she's a beauty or she's beautiful or can I take a ride in her? And I think nowadays, it's still common, I just make Keisuke's FD a boy...tongue.gif

Posted by: HyperSonic Dec 7 2012, 07:51 AM
QUOTE (Takahashi Rensuke @ 5 hours, 58 minutes ago)
Well, in old times, people tend to call their car a girl e.g. she's a beauty or she's beautiful or can I take a ride in her? And I think nowadays, it's still common, I just make Keisuke's FD a boy...tongue.gif

There are reasons behind people calling their cars "lady" or designating feminine pronoun on it. One reason I can think of is, gentlemen from few decades back really take good care of their cars just like how they take good care of the ladies, some threat them even better. And since very few female can drive before, some people often see this gentlemen with their cars. Now I am not against you designating the fd masculine since there is a lot of "muscle" in there, you know what I mean... It's just highly innapropriate.

And nice chapter by the way.

Posted by: shadow55419 Dec 7 2012, 09:47 AM
QUOTE (Takahashi Rensuke @ 7 hours, 54 minutes ago)
Well, in old times, people tend to call their car a girl e.g. she's a beauty or she's beautiful or can I take a ride in her? And I think nowadays, it's still common, I just make Keisuke's FD a boy...tongue.gif

to add a little to Hypersonic's, only when spoken about is the car refured to as having gender, the car is still an "it" when you're just describing it.

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Dec 9 2012, 06:48 AM
Well guys, I will post the 2nd chapter in somewhere around January because it's the end of the year now and my friends hosted a lot of events for me to go to. But until then, enjoy these pics of Takahashi Rensuke's FC3S cool.gif

user posted image
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Posted by: HyperSonic Dec 9 2012, 10:44 AM
Another reason I can think of is (I don't know if this will count, we might go a bit off topic here), well, if you haven't seen the movie "Gone in 60 seconds", people use feminine names to refer to cars as a code making sure no one else would suspect they are talking about the cars they are going to "boost" in just a little less than 60 seconds, even if a lot of people are within earshot.
(I'm am "quite" sure shadow knows what I'm talking about since the movie features the ever famous, most beautiful, and yet very elusive-untamed "Eleanor").

Posted by: shadow55419 Dec 9 2012, 10:56 AM
QUOTE (HyperSonic @ 12 minutes, 0 seconds ago)
Another reason I can think of is (I don't know if this will count, we might go a bit off topic here), well, if you haven't seen the movie "Gone in 60 seconds", people use feminine names to refer to cars as a code making sure no one else would suspect they are talking about the cars they are going to "boost" in just a little less than 60 seconds, even if a lot of people are within earshot.
(I'm am "quite" sure shadow knows what I'm talking about since the movie features the ever famous, most beautiful, and yet very elusive-untamed "Eleanor").

i am very aware of Eleanor, only Mustang i like is the Nick Cage 1967. the original from the 1974 version of the movie was a 1971 i think but i intend to find out.

@Takahashi Rensuke
good looking car, i'd drive it and i'm a muscle car freak.

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Dec 9 2012, 05:20 PM
QUOTE (shadow55419 @ 6 hours, 23 minutes ago)
@Takahashi Rensuke
good looking car, i'd drive it and i'm a muscle car freak.

Oh yeah? Why, thank you awesome.gif

Posted by: HyperSonic Dec 10 2012, 12:03 AM
Again I don't have objections about the car itself, it's just that suddenly the Takahashi brotherhood (including the half brother) became street racers with rotary engines as their signature.

I want to suggest but it is up to you, I think it would be very interesting if this Takahashi drives something different. (Just a suggestion)

Anyway, when will you post chapter 2?

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Dec 10 2012, 12:32 AM
QUOTE (HyperSonic @ 22 minutes, 47 seconds ago)
Again I don't have objections about the car itself, it's just that suddenly the Takahashi brotherhood (including the half brother) became street racers with rotary engines as their signature.

I want to suggest but it is up to you, I think it would be very interesting if this Takahashi drives something different. (Just a suggestion)

Anyway, when will you post chapter 2?

It's because I fall in love with the FC3S when Ryosuke first showed up with it. It's sleek, it's beautiful, it's...... it's...... out of this world! wub.gif And it's one of those old school cars introduced in Initial D. Love at first sight you could say cool.gif

I guess I'll post it up on early January, or rather late December after Christmas

Posted by: HyperSonic Dec 10 2012, 01:34 AM
I understand what you mean, I fell inlove with Takumi's 86 the first time I saw it in the live action movie. That's why I hunted for the anime series and the manga.

I look forward to the 2nd chapter.

Posted by: Saxifrage Dec 10 2012, 06:02 AM
How about a FB for Rensuke? laugh2.gif
Still a RX-7 and it's a rotary cool.gif tongue.gif

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Dec 10 2012, 06:19 AM
QUOTE (Nicholas86 @ 17 minutes, 2 seconds ago)
How about a FB for Rensuke? laugh2.gif
Still a RX-7 and it's a rotary cool.gif tongue.gif

Please refer to the post above HyperSonic's. Good day to you, sir cool.gif

Posted by: shadow55419 Dec 10 2012, 08:38 AM
@Rensuke
i felt the same way when i saw Keisuke's FD, love that thing.

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Dec 14 2012, 10:33 PM
Hm! This is a really interesting concept. I love it! A car being referred to as a guy is kinda odd for me too though, I know you already talked about it in the thread already. So you guys don't have to get into it again, but I am most definitely looking forward to a chapter 2! With all these people writing, I think I'm starting to get into my writing mood again. Someone might come out of hiatus sooner than later! Keep it up guys! smile.gif

Posted by: HyperSonic Dec 15 2012, 05:30 AM
Do come out of your hiatus CG2. Writers do inspire others to write also, which in your case is to write again. blink.gif

Posted by: Saxifrage Dec 15 2012, 06:12 AM
If you write,we'll write too tongue.gif
It's your turn to inspire us instead laugh.gif

Posted by: Meteor Dec 18 2012, 06:54 AM
heh I c wut u did thar too

So is this going to be a Takumi VS Keisuke fic?
Damnit. I wanted to make a fic like that once I'd thought up enough ideas for it and you beat me to it tongue.gif
Well, it does feel good to see more fics here. Reminds me of the old days. And yeah, kinda cheesy (as you call it), but not a bad start. I want to see what Chapter 2 will bring smile.gif

As for some of the remaining grammar stuff here:
QUOTE
Keisuke never forgets that he still need to beat Fujiwara Takumi, Project. D’s downhill ace.

"needs"
QUOTE
“What? Aniki said he need to write some medical reports and won’t be coming to see me practice.” said Keisuke.

"needs" or "needed"
QUOTE
And if I recall, RedSuns have disbanded to form Project. D, am I right?

"the RedSuns" would sound better here.
QUOTE
“Well, let’s just say your brother is not the only one who can find all the information he needed through the Internet.” The redhead said with a smile.

That'd sound better as "needs" in this case.
QUOTE
Go! Yong! San! Ni! Ichi! GO!!!

Since Fumihiro's counting down in Japanese, that should be "yon".
QUOTE
“What the……?!” Keisuke stepped on the brakes immediately to prevent him from crashing to the driver in front.

"into"

Again, bring on Chapter 2.

And yeah CG2, do get back to writing when you can.

Posted by: RedsunsF1 Dec 18 2012, 07:37 AM
Just read this and I really liked it smile.gif Looking forward to read more of this concept.

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Dec 22 2012, 05:36 AM
QUOTE (Meteor @ Dec 18 2012, 10:54 PM)
heh I c wut u did thar too

So is this going to be a Takumi VS Keisuke fic?
Damnit. I wanted to make a fic like that once I'd thought up enough ideas for it and you beat me to it tongue.gif
Well, it does feel good to see more fics here. Reminds me of the old days. And yeah, kinda cheesy (as you call it), but not a bad start. I want to see what Chapter 2 will bring smile.gif

As for some of the remaining grammar stuff here:

"needs"

"needs" or "needed"

"the RedSuns" would sound better here.

That'd sound better as "needs" in this case.

Since Fumihiro's counting down in Japanese, that should be "yon".

"into"

Again, bring on Chapter 2.

And yeah CG2, do get back to writing when you can.

Alrighty, thanks for the corrections, Meteor. This fanfic doesn't really focuses on racing, sadly. It's more on family relationships between the two pair of Rotary brothers(stay tuned). If you are looking for racing actions, you'll be very disappointed. I'm not a very technical guy and don't know any automobile engineering, so......

Chapter 2 will be uploaded on 1st of January, New Year's Day (If I'm not that lazy tongue.gif)

Posted by: HyperSonic Dec 22 2012, 06:10 AM
About being disappointed on racing action, I mean you can put some like 5 races minimum for the whole fic, I'm quite sure it won't hurt the storyline (I guess??). Like Ryosuke Vs Rensuke, then Keisuke vs Rensuke, Takumi vs Rensuke, Takumi vs Keisuke and a 3 way battle blowout between the Takahashi's (lol to the last one).

And about you not knowing a lot about technical stuffs, ME and Airpistol (haven't seen him for a while around here) doesn't know anything too. If you want help there are a bunch of guys (and a lady) who would be willing to lend a hand. Just suggesting, I'm not forcing you to try and push on the race scenes, it's just an opinion, but don't get the wrong idea that fanfics without rece scenes are not welcome here in IDW.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Dec 23 2012, 01:29 AM
QUOTE (HyperSonic @ Yesterday, 10:10 PM)
About being disappointed on racing action, I mean you can put some like 5 races minimum for the whole fic, I'm quite sure it won't hurt the storyline (I guess??). Like Ryosuke Vs Rensuke, then Keisuke vs Rensuke, Takumi vs Rensuke, Takumi vs Keisuke and a 3 way battle blowout between the Takahashi's (lol to the last one).

And about you not knowing a lot about technical stuffs, ME and Airpistol (haven't seen him for a while around here) doesn't know anything too. If you want help there are a bunch of guys (and a lady) who would be willing to lend a hand. Just suggesting, I'm not forcing you to try and push on the race scenes, it's just an opinion, but don't get the wrong idea that fanfics without rece scenes are not welcome here in IDW.

Thanks for the suggestions, Hyper. I already planned to write a few battles, but don't expect anything big, ok?

Posted by: HyperSonic Dec 23 2012, 05:15 AM
Anything is big here in IDW.

Posted by: TaleOfVale Dec 23 2012, 05:19 PM
wOw... Story of an FC, who wouldn't like it?! Hahaha thanks Rensuke! ^^

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Dec 23 2012, 05:39 PM
QUOTE (HyperSonic @ Yesterday, 7:10 AM)
And about you not knowing a lot about technical stuffs, ME and Airpistol (haven't seen him for a while around here) doesn't know anything too. If you want help there are a bunch of guys (and a lady) who would be willing to lend a hand. Just suggesting, I'm not forcing you to try and push on the race scenes, it's just an opinion, but don't get the wrong idea that fanfics without rece scenes are not welcome here in IDW.

Wahaha! You remembered me! That really means a lot, thank you! And yes, Takahashi Rensuke, if you ever have any questions or a chapter that you want proof read, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'll always try my best to help out a writer in need! smile.gif

Posted by: HyperSonic Dec 24 2012, 04:00 AM
Of course I won't forget CG2, she promised to put me in on her fanfic which is full of awesome awesomeness...

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Jan 10 2013, 06:07 AM
*Sorry guys! I'm so busy with my college assignment/homework/project I can't focus on writing my fanfic, but now at least I can post up Chapter 2. Enjoy!*

CHAPTER 2: CATCHING UP

"You're kidding, right? I'm not quite convinced. Prove it to me." The skeptical Keisuke said.
"Your father is a doctor named Takahashi Ishikawa. He is 38 this year. Your mother is Keiko Sakura, she's a 34-year-old housewife. They have been married for 15 years." Rensuke said with so much confidence like he knew them for a very long time.

"So, your mother...... Is she treating my father well?"
"They are happy with each other, let's just leave it at that."
"Why didn't our father tell me and my brother about this?"
"That, I have no idea. You'll have to ask him yourself."

"Why did you show up now? Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Keisuke had so many questions he knew he had to ask them.
"I wasn't keen to meet you at first. When father told me about you and Ryosuke, you guys were battling the 246ers. Before showing up, I wanted to see whether you guys could beat the Kanagawa area. After all, all sorts of professional racers gathered there. I wanted to see how good Kanto's Rotary Brothers were."

"Hmmm, I never thought we had a half-brother."
"Two actually. Sorry, I should've told you I have another little brother. His name is Takahashi Zansuke."
"Two?! Just how many secrets are the old man hiding from us?!" Keisuke was so mad with his father for not telling Ryosuke and him about all of these.

"It's getting late. I better be going now. Let's catch up some other time. Know any nearby restaurants where we can do so?" said Rensuke after looking at his phone.
"How about Jonny's? It's not far from here." answered Keisuke.
"Great. Then it's settled. Meet me there at noon this Saturday, how's that? I might bring my brother along."
"Sounds good to me. I'll tell Aniki the details."
"Alright, be seeing you, Kanto's Fastest Fireball."

On the day of the meeting, a white FC, a yellow FD, a blue FC and a black FD, all heavily modified, parked next to each other at the Jonny's. Many people thought there was some kind of racer gathering.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Takahashi Ryosuke." said the oldest Takahashi among them.
"And I am Takahashi Zansuke. Nice to meet you." An average 18-year-old kid said.
"Oh my, you're young. You sure remind me of Shinji and Takumi." said Keisuke.
"We were trained very young. We also formed our own team, *C.o.R.E* and conquered the Chubu region, just like you guys conquered Kanto." The redhead Rensuke said.
"*C.o.R.E*?" Ryosuke asked.
"*Cars of Rotary Engine*" The Chubu's Takahashi Brothers said together.
"You guys lived in Chubu? Where exactly?" Ryosuke asked again.
"Nozawaonsen, Nagano." said Rensuke.
"Homecourse?" Keisuke couldn't contain himself.
"Mt. Mizuo." answered Rensuke to his half-brother's question.
"Hey Aniki. Why don't we take a spin down their homecourse?" Keisuke asked excitedly.
"I don't see why not? You don't mind right, Rensuke?"
"Not even a little bit. I'm so honored. The famous Takahashi Brothers want to take a look at our homecourse!" The blue FC driver smiled.

Zansuke just stared at them the whole time without saying anything. He was just the kind of guy who didn't talk much.

*Sadly, there aren't any races in this chapter, but fear not! There will be one in chapter 3 wink2.gif *
*Again, feedbacks and comments are very much welcomed!*

PS: This is getting cheesier and cheesier the more I read this >.<

Posted by: shadow55419 Jan 10 2013, 07:44 PM
spotted some errors in spelling, but beyond that you've got me interested to see where this goes.

Posted by: HyperSonic Jan 10 2013, 08:16 PM
So there are four Takashi Brothers of the Rotary Engine eh, I would be looking forward to a uphill battle between the FD's and a downhill race between the FC's you can mix it up too if you want.

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Jan 11 2013, 06:21 AM
QUOTE (shadow55419 @ Today, 11:44 AM)
spotted some errors in spelling, but beyond that you've got me interested to see where this goes.

Can you specify where exactly?

@HyperSonic: I wasn't planning too, but you did give me a great idea!

Posted by: Saxifrage Jan 13 2013, 04:59 AM
QUOTE
You guys lived in Chubu?

Chubu? You mean Chibu?

QUOTE
Knew any nearby restaurants that we can do so?

Should be "Know" here.

Actually I think the part where Keisuke and Rensuke explained to their respective brothers should be written with more detail.I think that'll make the plot look much better. Feels weird without it.

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Jan 13 2013, 07:16 AM
QUOTE (Nicholas86 @ 2 hours, 17 minutes ago)
Chubu? You mean Chibu?


Should be "Know" here.

Actually I think the part where Keisuke and Rensuke explained to their respective brothers should be written with more detail.I think that'll make the plot look much better. Feels weird without it.

No, it's Chubu. Ryosuke and Keisuke lived in Gunma of Kanto prefecture while Rensuke and Zansuke lived in Nagano of Chubu prefecture. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prefectures_of_Japan

The problem is I ran out of ideas facepalm.gif and I don't want people to stop reading my fanfic, ya know?

Posted by: theAbsolutelyRedLink Jan 13 2013, 09:32 AM
Never read a FanFic before. Thought the concept of them were..I dunno. Weird. But I found that I enjoyed this one ha
Pretty interesting considering all of us can vividly see this in our heads.
Good work.

Posted by: s12drifter Jan 13 2013, 09:41 AM
i dont like fanpic's anymore i use to but this one in chapter one actually made my hair stand. i actually like this one.

Posted by: theAbsolutelyRedLink Jan 13 2013, 10:20 AM
QUOTE
fanpic's


*FanFics? hah

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Jan 13 2013, 09:33 PM
QUOTE (theAbsolutelyRedLink @ Today, 1:32 AM)
Never read a FanFic before. Thought the concept of them were..I dunno. Weird. But I found that I enjoyed this one ha
Pretty interesting considering all of us can vividly see this in our heads.
Good work.

QUOTE (s12drifter @ Today, 1:41 AM)
i dont like fanpic's anymore i use to but this one in chapter one actually made my hair stand. i actually like this one. 

You seriously can't tell how happy I am when I read you guys' post. Thanks a lot!

Posted by: Meteor Jan 14 2013, 01:07 PM
QUOTE
Sorry guys! I'm so busy with my college assignment/homework/project I can't focus on writing my fanfic, but now at least I can post up Chapter 2.

I know what that's like. I'd like to start work on Chapter 2 of my fic as well, but I'm going to be busy for academic reasons myself.

And so Team C.o.R.E's here now. I c wut u did thar once more. I'm wondering if Zansuke's an actual Japanese name though.

Took a while to post here didn't I? Sorry about that. I'm bad at managing my time sometimes. Anyway, this story's still not bad and I'm interested in seeing where it's gonna go, so like the others here I'm going to request for additional chapters.


As for corrections:
QUOTE
"Why didn't our father told me and my brother about this?"

"tell"
QUOTE
"Why did you show up now? Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Keisuke has so many questions he knew he had to ask about them.

"had" would fit better there. And "about" is unnecessary here since he only wants to ask his questions; and not ask about his questions too.
QUOTE
"I wasn't keen to meet you at first. When father told me about you and Ryosuke, you guys were battling the 246ers. Before showing up, I want to see whether you guys can beat Kanagawa area. After all, all sorts of professional racers gathered there. I want to see how good are the Kanto's Rotary Brothers."

"wanted", "could" and "wanted to see how good Kanto's Rotary Brothers were", since he's talking about the past. Also, a "the" before "Kanagawa area" is advisable.
QUOTE
"Two?! Just how much secrets the old man is hiding from us?!" Keisuke was so mad with his father that he didn't tell Ryosuke and him about all of these.

1."many" and "are the old man"
2.The other bolded part implies that Keisuke's the one not saying anything.
Suggested fix: Change "that he didn't tell" to "for not telling"
QUOTE
"It's getting late. I better be going now. Let's catch up some other time. Knew any nearby restaurants that we can do so?" said Rensuke after looking at his phone.

As Nicholas86 said: change that to "Know". Also, "that we can do so" might be better as "where we can do so".
QUOTE
On the day of the meeting, a white FC, a yellow FD, a blue FC and a black FD, all heavily modified, parked next to each other at the Jonny's. Many people thought there's some kind of racer gathering.

"there's" looks like "there is". "there was" would be better here.
QUOTE
"Oh my, you're young. You sure reminded me of Shinji and Takumi." said Keisuke.
"We were trained very young. We also formed our own team, *C.o.R.E* and conquered Chubu region of Japan, just like you guys conquered Kanto." The redhead Rensuke said.

1."remind" would sound more natural here.
2.Add a "the" before "Chubu region". Also, the "of Japan" part seems unnecessary here, but you can keep that if you want.
QUOTE
"Homecourse?" Keisuke can't contained himself.
"XXXXX." answered Rensuke to his half-brother's question.
"Hey Aniki. Why don't we take a spin down their homecourse?" Keisuke asked excitingly.

1."couldn't contain"
2."excitedly". "excitingly" implies Keisuke's making other people excited.
QUOTE
Zansuke's staring at them the whole time without saying anything. He's just the kind of guy who doesn't talk much.

The chapter was mostly written in past-tense, so this part should be rewritten to match.
"Zansuke just stared at them the whole time without saying anything. He was just the kind of guy who didn't talk much."


And yeah, it's gotten cheesier, but only slightly so far. This story has potential and you seem like you have a decent idea of where it might go, so again; I'm interested in seeing where you take this. Keep it up smile.gif

Posted by: theAbsolutelyRedLink Jan 14 2013, 03:19 PM
QUOTE
You seriously can't tell how happy I am when I read you guys' post. Thanks a lot!


I can ha
A guy who doesn't even like anime or initial D enjoyed my work once. That may be an equivalent feeling ha

But that's another story. I'll keep reading your stuff my man. Grammatical errors and all.

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Jan 15 2013, 04:22 AM
QUOTE (Meteor @ Today, 5:07 AM)
I know what that's like. I'd like to start work on Chapter 2 of my fic as well, but I'm going to be busy for academic reasons myself.

And so Team C.o.R.E's here now. I c wut u did thar once more. I'm wondering if Zansuke's an actual Japanese name though.

Took a while to post here didn't I? Sorry about that. I'm bad at managing my time sometimes. Anyway, this story's still not bad and I'm interested in seeing where it's gonna go, so like the others here I'm going to request for additional chapters.

And yeah, it's gotten cheesier, but only slightly so far. This story has potential and you seem like you have a decent idea of where it might go, so again; I'm interested in seeing where you take this. Keep it up smile.gif

Thanks for the proofread and I corrected them. Oh my, there sure are a lot of errors hehehehe rolleyes.gif

My little brother came up with the name Zansuke. I have absolutely no idea is it even a legit japanese name derp.gif

高橋占介

I might as well post my japanese name too cool.gif 高橋蓮介

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Jan 19 2013, 08:34 PM
*Yes! I roughly got the idea of Chapter 3 before Chapter 2 and that's why I finished it so quickly.*

CHAPTER 3: RYOSUKE'S COMEBACK

The 4 rotary cars sprinted through the highway heading to Nozawaonsen, Nagano. By the time they reached Mt. Mizuo it was already 8 at night.
"Finally, I seriously can't wait." thought Keisuke with excitement.
"Hmmm? There're a couple of guys up there." Rensuke thought.
As they approached the peak, they saw two men standing side by side, talking and laughing with each other.

"Sorry, but who are you guys?" Rensuke questioned the two men.
"Oh, don't mind us. Hehehehehe......" said one of the man who wears a black Nike cap and Nike sneakers. The other guy was looking at the car beside him. It was a red Ferrari 458 Italia.
"Hmmph, don't think you can defeat me in a race with one of those." thought Rensuke who despised Ferraris and their drivers.
"Alright, feel free to use our homecourse. You have my permission." said Rensuke to the Takahashis with a smile. Zansuke nodded afterwards.
"Ha, as if we ever needed that." said Keisuke. "Let's go, Aniki."
The Takahashi Brothers stepped into their respective rotaries and took off.
"One of the things I like about this course is we can see them very clearly from here, wherever they are." Rensuke explained to his brother.
"It's just the difficulty of this mountain attracted me though." replied Zansuke.

"Hehehe, I think we should go too, or we won't be able to catch them."
"Relax, with this car, no one can beat us."
They went into the red Ferrari right after they finished talking.
"Hmm?" thought Rensuke.
"I think they want to raise a challenge to our brothers." Zansuke speculated.
"Hmmph, no matter how hard they try, they can never beat Gunma's Takahashi Brothers. Furthermore, this is a touge. They just dug their own grave." said Rensuke.

"This is one unique course." Ryosuke thought.
"Interesting... this course is very similar to Sadamine. The road isn't really flat, so throttle control is crucial." thought Keisuke.
Suddenly, a flash of headlights appeared in their rear view mirror.
"Is that Rensuke? No... the car is slightly reddish in color. The Ferrari we saw earlier, perhaps?" Keisuke thought.
The Italia driver flashed his headlights a few times.
"Maybe I'll let Aniki do the battling. He hasn't raced for a while now." Keisuke slowed down and let the 458 pass him.
"He slowed down." said the guy wearing glasses.
"Hahahahaha! He is probably scared of us." said the Nike man.
"So Keisuke wanted me to battle them? Fine then, it's been a long time since I last raced." the white FC3S driver thought.

*Flashback*
"Man, highway battles are too easy! I want a real challenge!" said the Nike guy.
"You know, how about we have some fun at the touge near our usual meeting place?" his best friend said.
"That touge? I heard there's a local team there that conquered the Chubu region. If we defeat them, we will be famous! Girls will also swarm around us!" the Nike guy laughed sinisterly.
"If I'm not wrong, the team was *C.o.R.E.*"
"What a lame name! I'll save them some face by defeating them!"
*End of flashback*

"Come on, *C.o.R.E.*! Is that all you got? You can do better than that!"
"Another weak racer behind the wheel. Well, at least he's better than the Porsche driver. The road now is too narrow for you to pass me. I'll see how much pressure you'll put on your wheels."
"Damn, is he mocking me? He runs so slow! Whenever I wanted to pass him, the road narrowed down. This is frustrating!" complained the 458 driver.

*Meanwhile on the peak*
"Sooner or later, the Ferrari's gonna get into an accident." the redhead said.
"How can you tell?" asked Zansuke.
"He was so eager to pass brother. Whenever the road widened, he accelerated. But when the road narrowed again, he braked. Hard."
"Another newbie, eh?"
"Duh!"

"I appreciated your offer Keisuke, but they really are nothing." Ryosuke said in his mind.
"I sensed that Aniki was complaining. I'm not surprised though. Even I'm disappointed." thought the blonde.
"I feel there's no need to prolong this race anymore. Guess I'll do an all-out sprint."
Ryosuke finally sped up and made his move.
"He finally made a move. Let's go!" said the Ferrari's navigator.
"About time!" the driver exclaimed.

The Ferrari followed the FC closely, but when a corner appeared he stepped on the brakes as hard as he could.
"Damn! This is boring! Why do touges have so many corners?"
After he cleared the corner, he no longer saw the FC's taillights.
"Darn it! I refuse to believe my Ferrari can't catch up to his crappy car!"
Just as he accelerated, another corner came up. He didn't brake, in fact he just let off the gas.
"F*** the brakes!"
As a result, the Italia drifted off the line they wanted because of the gripless tires. And so they crashed into the wall.
"Aarrgghh!!!" the both of them screamed.

"I guess I'll go back." Ryosuke thought.
On his way back, he saw the Ferrari in bad condition and Keisuke's FD. Ryosuke got out of his FC and hurried towards them.
"Are you guys alright? Injured?" asked Ryosuke.
The two man shook their heads and looked down on the ground, ashamed of what they did.
"Your car is wrecked. I can help you repair it." Ryosuke asked them.
"It's ok, you don't have to. It's my fault and I'll fix this. Incidentally, are you the leader of *C.o.R.E.*?" the 458 driver brought up a question to Ryosuke.
"No, I'm not. Do you remember the man we talked to earlier? He is."
"I see.........."
"Please, at least let me call a tow truck for you."
"Thank you..."

*Meanwhile on the peak*
"Do you find this scene strangely familiar?" Zansuke asked his brother.
"As a matter of fact, I do remember. The crash was similar to Shoji Shingo's from the NightKids."
"Oh, right."

"We should get back to the top, Keisuke."
"Sure thing, Aniki."
The Takahashi Brothers went into their cars and drove to the peak.

"Rensuke, I think we should go back to Gunma now." Keisuke said.
"Ok, sure thing."
"Wait!"
The three looked at Zansuke.
"Ryosuke, if it's alright with you, I would want to battle with you, here."
"And why's that?"
"I want to see how I fare against the leader of Project. D."
"Fine. What's the date and time? It has to be a weekend though."
"Next Saturday, 9pm. Before then, you are welcome to practice on our homecourse to your heart's content."
"Thank you, see you then." Ryosuke said.
"Bye."
The two pairs of Takahashi Brothers bid each other farewell.

*Chapter 4 Zansuke Vs. Ryosuke. Don't missed it~*

Posted by: shadow55419 Jan 19 2013, 10:01 PM
i don't particularly car for the wrecking a 458, but thats only cause i like the headlight style tongue.gif

i'm really enjoying this, i hope to see more soon.

Posted by: HyperSonic Jan 20 2013, 01:41 AM
Stupid knuckle heads, pushing a Ferrari on the touge? Just like what I thought, they crashed themselves to pieces...

And the Takashi races comes, that's what I'm talking about, it just keeps getting better.

Posted by: Saxifrage Jan 20 2013, 03:30 AM
All the "thoughts" there should be in italic,that will make it easier to differentiate them from the conversations.

QUOTE
But then the road narrowed again and he braked, hard."

I suggest changing it to "But when the road narrowed again,he braked.Hard."

QUOTE
"Hahahahaha! He probably is scared of us." said the Nike man.

He is probably scared of us.

QUOTE
"Maybe I'll let Aniki do the battling. He didn't race for a while now." Keisuke slowed down and let the 458 passed him.

He hasn't raced for a while now*
and let the 458 pass*

QUOTE
"Your car was wrecked. I could help you repair it." Ryosuke asked them.

"Your car is wrecked.I can help you repair it."

I don't know if I missed any,because I tend to overlook things. ermm2.gif

A Ferrari would be monstrous if handled by a great racer instead of hotheads.Rich guy crashed his Ferrari on a mountain pass,consider the price. laugh2.gif

Takahashi race?I speculate some race scenes then shifty2.gif

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Jan 20 2013, 04:52 AM
QUOTE (Nicholas86 @ 1 hour, 21 minutes ago)
All the "thoughts" there should be in italic,that will make it easier to differentiate them from the conversations.


I suggest changing it to "But when the road narrowed again,he braked.Hard."


He is probably scared of us.


He hasn't raced for a while now*
and let the 458 pass*


"Your car is wrecked.I can help you repair it."

I don't know if I missed any,because I tend to overlook things. ermm2.gif

A Ferrari would be monstrous if handled by a great racer instead of hotheads.Rich guy crashed his Ferrari on a mountain pass,consider the price. laugh2.gif

Takahashi race?I speculate some race scenes then shifty2.gif

Thanks for the mistakes, and thanks for reminding me I should put the thoughts in italic, even though I said to myself in Chapter 1 but I forgot tongue.gif

Posted by: Meteor Jan 30 2013, 06:45 PM
QUOTE
QUOTE
"Your car was wrecked. I could help you repair it." Ryosuke asked them.

"Your car is wrecked. I can help you repair it."

You're right on the first one, but both "could" and "can" are correct here as far as I know.


Ferrari guy here sure didn't understand the concept of inertia too well. But after that BMW M5 kid from years ago who severely misjudged his braking distance and launched himself off into some trees at over 200 km/h (ouch), I can't say I'm too surprised. Good thing that last straight was so short though, or those guys would probably be dead already.
And Zansuke's already challenging Ryousuke then. Wonder how that's gonna turn out.

There was one thing I found weird though.
QUOTE
*Meanwhile on the peak*
"Do you find this scene strangely familiar?" Zansuke asked his brother.
"As a matter of fact, I do remember. The crash was similar to Shoji Shingo's from the NightKids."
"Oh, right."

The only ones there when Shingo crashed racing Takumi were Iketani, Kenji and (if memory serves) Itsuki. How'd have Rensuke and Zansuke found this scene familiar when they were never there to begin with?

Well, sorry for taking so long to reply on this. Anyway, nice update again and I'm still up for more chapters. Do keep going.

And if you want some proofreading:
SPOILER

Posted by: HyperSonic Jan 30 2013, 06:57 PM
Only Iketani, Kenji and, Itsuki are there AS FAR AS SHIGENO knows (probably). A universe is big thus you can insert Rensuke in the sidelines scouting secretly behind trees or far enough not to be noticed by Shigeno, but again I didn't see that being wrong, I have overlooked it.

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Feb 1 2013, 04:51 AM
Edited Chapter 3.

True, only Iketani, Kenji and Itsuki were there, but that doesn't mean they were not nearby to begin with wink2.gif

Posted by: s12drifter Feb 4 2013, 04:33 AM
i would have imagined the farreri had a unfair advantage simply because of the machine it is lol

Posted by: shadow55419 Feb 4 2013, 04:39 AM
QUOTE (s12drifter @ 5 minutes, 10 seconds ago)
i would have imagined the farreri had a unfair advantage simply because of the machine it is lol

i don't think they particularly had this kind of racing in mind when they built it. lol

Posted by: jusputitonmytab Feb 4 2013, 06:44 PM
Can't wait for Ch. 4! The story is awesome so far.

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Feb 5 2013, 08:45 PM
QUOTE (jusputitonmytab @ Yesterday, 10:44 AM)
Can't wait for Ch. 4! The story is awesome so far.

Thanks for the feedback! happy.gif

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Jul 11 2013, 07:44 PM
FINALLY! IT'S DONE! CHAPTER 4 (PART 1)! Oh boy, it sure took me a very long time! ENJOY!

It was a fine night at Mt. Mizuo. Both parties were totally prepared for the battle tonight. Galleries flooded the mountain. They have heard. Akagi's White Comet versus Mizuo's Dark Knight.

"Oh my god! I can't wait for the battle!" screamed a Ryosuke's fangirl.
"Tell me about it! Ryosuke has not raced for a while now. I wonder how he will fare against the locals?" replied her friend.

"So Ryosuke's gonna race huh?" said a man with black curly hair wearing a black jacket.
"Looks that way. He is in for a tough fight. In terms of fame and skill, *C.o.R.E.* is pretty much equal to Project.D if not more, or so I heard." replied a man that looked like a monk.

*At the peak...*
"Matsumoto, is the car ready?" The eldest Takahashi Brother asked.
"Everything's fine, Ryosuke-san." Fujiwara Takumi's mechanic replied.

"You sure you want to do this, brother? Ryosuke is the leader of Project.D, the team that conquered Kanto." Rensuke questioned his little brother's abilities.
"Don't worry. Since when did I lose?" Zansuke smiled.
"Alright then. Do as you wished."

The 18-year-old kid approached the leader of Project.D.
"We'll start from here side by side and the finish line will be at the Fireweed Garden." Zansuke told Ryosuke.
"Understood." Ryosuke nodded.

"Are the racers ready? The countdown is about to start." Fumihiro yelled loud enough.
"I will do whatever it takes to win." Zansuke thought.

5... 4... 3... 2... 1... GO!!!

The black FD let the white FC took the lead even though it was only one round. They came to the first hairpin; braked, shifted down the gear to 3, cleared the corner.

"Let's see if our brother has the skills." Rensuke's little brother thought.
"Since this is an uphill course, horsepower is one of the winning factors of a battle. My FD should have more power than his FC's. But I wouldn't count on that too much. A great driver can even out the power difference
greatly.
" Zansuke said to himself.

"I wonder, should I get serious for him?" Ryosuke thought.

"The showdown would only begin after we passed the 2nd section." Zansuke speculated.***(See below)

"Are you gonna use that, brother?" Rensuke said to himself.

They have reached the 3rd section.

"Time to show Ryosuke-san what I'm made of!" Zansuke said.

Right before the last hairpin in 3rd section, Zansuke closed his headlights.

Coincidentally, Ryosuke looked at his rear view mirror to see if his opponent was following him.

"Hmm? He's gone? He was just right behind me. Wait...... Could it be?"

A few seconds later, Zansuke opened his headlights back on and now he is side by side with the FC and accelerating.

"How did he...?"

*Flashback*
"I've mastered it." Zansuke said to his aniki.
"Mastered what?" Rensuke asked.
"Fujiwara Takumi's blind attack..." Zansuke said.
"Oh I see.......... You WHAT?!" His brother was shocked.
"Since my whole FD is black and the environment is pretty dark here, Fujiwara Takumi's blind attack would definitely gives me an edge in this battle." Zansuke explained.
"I got the point, but when did you...?" Rensuke asked him again.
"Oh come on brother, you do know we went to look at Project.D's Kanagawa races, right? I picked it up then." The kid said.
"Well, true. Who would've thought huh?" Rensuke was impressed by his brother.
Zansuke smiled.

"Yes, I've passed him. I wonder how's our brother reacting?" Zansuke thought.

"Did he come up with that on his own? Or he just copied Fujiwara's technique?" Ryosuke was baffled.
"Either way, he's not one to be trifled with. I guess I should go all out."


Is the blind attack the only trick Zansuke has up in his sleeve? STAY TUNED!
PART 2 COMING SOON!!!

NOTE: Here's the link to *C.o.R.E*'s home course if you're interested.
https://maps.google.com/maps/ms?msid=214190941338248598981.0004e147f6cbeb73c930b&msa=0&ll=36.91171,138.471615&spn=0.011993,0.022724

***2nd section: In the link, there are 5 502 road signs right?(After you zoomed in once!) I divided the course into 6 sections for easier reference...

Posted by: shadow55419 Jul 11 2013, 09:57 PM
its an interesting idea for Zansuke to use the blind attack, but i can't see Ryosuke falling for it so easily, he's seen Takumi use it too many times.

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Jul 12 2013, 02:44 AM
QUOTE (shadow55419 @ 4 hours, 47 minutes ago)
its an interesting idea for Zansuke to use the blind attack, but i can't see Ryosuke falling for it so easily, he's seen Takumi use it too many times.

Of course I know that.
But who's saying Ryosuke's falling? wink2.gif

Posted by: HyperSonic Jul 16 2013, 07:21 PM
The Blind attack (according to me facepalm.gif ) is used and effective if the car in front of you has his lights turned on, the cars lights illuminate your path while he isn't seeing you BUT getting in front of him (while his lights are turned on) and without him seeing you during the process (and to try to avoid being overtaken) and the racer doing the blind attack manages to go right in front of the car that easy (especially against Ryosuke who has seen it done a lot of times) is quite awkward (again this is according to me). You better have one hell of explanation how he did that... facepalm.gif


BUT OVER ALL I'm LOVING IT......
NEXT CHAPTER pls.... w00t2.gif

Posted by: Takahashi Rensuke Jul 17 2013, 08:20 AM
QUOTE (HyperSonic @ Yesterday, 11:21 AM)
The Blind attack (according to me  facepalm.gif ) is used and effective if the car in front of you has his lights turned on, the cars lights illuminate your path while he isn't seeing you BUT getting in front of him (while his lights are turned on) and without him seeing you during the process (and to try to avoid being overtaken) and the racer doing the blind attack manages to go right in front of the car that easy (especially against Ryosuke who has seen it done a lot of times) is quite awkward (again this is according to me). You better have one hell of explanation how he did that...  facepalm.gif


BUT OVER ALL I'm LOVING IT......
NEXT CHAPTER pls.... w00t2.gif

I've corrected that said part to what I wanted to express. I simplified a little too much previously, thus causing misunderstanding.

Posted by: HyperSonic Jul 18 2013, 06:13 PM
I love the way you have corrected it and cleared up every misunderstanding I have. The blind attack is effective only up to the point that you are side by side with the opponent or in the case of a straight you can overtake him using the other lane which would defeat the purpose of having a racing line, and might put the racer into a disadvantageous line towards the incoming corner.

I love this.... w00t2.gif

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