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Shit like this makes me wonder why I'm not taking up a law maj- oh.

Normally, I'd be putting a quote here but instead, I'll just offer up my thoughts. I know there isn't much to go on but why? Why would you publicly shame your kid? It just boggles me that someone would stoop that low to shave the kid's head and to post it online.....

This post has been edited by Shirogane on Jun 4 2015, 11:37 AM

Because parent-child abuse is practically socially acceptable. Set 'em straight, build character, etc.

Barbaric morons like that see this stuff happen and wonder why it did. They either don't realize, or worse, don't care that they killed/fucked up their kids.

i hate hearing news like this, it's ridiculous to me that someone would publicly shame their kid no matter what the circumstances leading up to it. i can't say much more than that, too stunned by the idiocy of that father.

Kids these days have shame?


But for real tho, that's abusive. An effective way to discilpline a child is not by physically or emotionally hurting them. You take away something they care about and have them earn it back. That's it. No need for spanking, shaming, yelling, etc.

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My parents tried that. It sorta worked, I suppose. Really it just taught me how to create loopholes and bargain. For instance, taking away computer access just teaches me how to hack user accounts and bargain for time for legitimate reasons (which are then funneled into illegitimate reasons). Being grounded only partially worked for similar reasons.

Kids are cunning creatures with unrestricted ids. I know, I used to be one of those hellraisers. While I don't believe public shaming or cutting hair like this guy did is the appropriate method I won't go so far as to say there isn't a time and place for a little physical negative reinforcement.

But hey, the chances of me being a parent are pretty low, so I guess it doesn't really matter how I see it.

In some life-or-death-level serious case, maybe. One of the first things you learn in babby-tier general psych is that negative reinforcement is never a good long-term solution. It's just that elementary. 99% of people who grow up with corporal punishment turn out not to be killers, sure, but most of them carry other issues, many of which can be crippling. The ones that didn't end up with that baggage, or did and are trying to deny its negative consequences (another form of resultant baggage) claim that physical punishment is not a problem because "they grew up with it and turned out just fine". While that may be true for them, it's also true that others born without it turned out just as fine. So, if there's simply no reason to employ corporal punishment, why do so?

Punishment, as a concept, is a crutch to begin with. It could be avoided by the child not doing bad things, which is achieved by teaching the child not to do bad things in the first place. Of course, it can't be avoided in all cases, and all children have different temperaments, but I believe humans are much more the products of their environment than many would have you believe. If you don't want them to do wrong, do them right, and teach them why it's right so they believe it and absorb it as a part of themselves. Teach them more empathy (not the same as sympathy). That's how a good person grows, and we need more of those in the world.

Source: a very well-adjusted adult who grew up with minimal-to-no corporal punishment whatsoever.

It was minimal here too. I stand behind time and place. Totally agree with teaching the why, though. I wish my parents had told me why I shouldn't lick my lips when it was cold rather than just telling me not to, that's for sure.

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People tell their kids not to do stuff, don't tell them why, and then get mad at them when they do it anyway. It's also incidentally the same mindset that abusive parents take when "teaching" (training) their kids through physical negative reinforcement - "do as I say or get the whip". It's dumb as rocks and only breeds people who become equally dumb, or mentally scarred, or both.

Speaking about cases of parents who physically punish their kids, of course, not something like your own upbringing which was not. That's still dumb, but not lethally so.

Example: me.

Am I mean for smiling when I read that. N1, I believe that there is someone out there for everyone. Just because you're not looking doesn't mean that you'll never find the one. But I digress, that's off topic.

I grew up with a good mix of both corporal and other forms of punishment. Instead of being publicly shamed I was publicly praised, my parents always loved talking about the achievements of their kids. They still do. And I like hearing it when they tell their friends how wildly successful I am. I'm guessing its an Asian thing, but that really motivated me to be involved in learning discipline and manners.

I feel like there are some people that are cut out to be parents and some people that should not be allowed to procreate. These parents hail from latter of the two groups.

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There are other (more positive) methods on keeping your kids inline, they know that right?

Oh, no, it has little to do with finding someone and more to do with the whole 'having kids' part.

I work with kids everyday and I think they're little monsters. But that doesn't stop me from wanting children. One day I'll have a son and I'll name him Charles with the nickname Char, I'll make sure he likes the color red and has a Zaku kit somewhere in his room.

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Haha. I would have made you live out in the yard in a tent.

You're right, Kyon. I was punished for making mistakes constantly and now I live in fear. Fear of failure. I've been conditioned to not even try new things simply because my body expects pain even though I am now fully grown and in charge of my destiny. That made me very angry with my father as he didn't protect my sister and I from my stepmother's unfair and unnecessary punishments for simply being children.

Infractions that would provoke a hair pulling or tight pinch would include, but not be limited to, leaving some grime on dishes, not sweeping a room properly, taking too long to clean something, not eating all the food off the plate...etc. AND no I did not turn out FINE. Fear is not fine.

This post has been edited by Cecilia on Jun 6 2015, 06:15 PM

...No comment.

Ah, yes. My family refers to that method as "tie you to a tree outside."

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Sounds like a plan.

lol My parents just used network filters, so I ended up learning about proxy servers, VPN's, SSH tunneling... among other things.

My parents are relatively lenient. The worst they'd do is yell or have a disapproving tone. Unfortunately, they aren't big on praise either, so instead of growing up looking for approval, I kind of grew up looking for not hearing disapproval. Somehow, that messes you up too, even if it's not physical.

(THIS POST WAS REMOVED BY REQUEST)

Whether or not it was leaked, it seems this is one anecdote in many where people seem to think technology can be helpful before acting with unhelpful consequences. How many videos could we have seen in passing around the internet, where someone is "publicly shamed" on a shared internet video, for whatever reason of punishment or using someone to be their own attention whore? Literally, how many millennia have humans gone disciplining others without using technology as a "reminder" of what they did? That's not even discipline; that's fucking blackmail tactics. There's literally no justification for taking a video of this, even if it was between them and never meant to reach it to the internet, nor is what was captured in the video as it was any justification for that method of punishment or discipline. If nothing more, it makes a dumbass like this more susceptible to backlash if/when it does get leaked out, like so many things open to connected vulnerability.

Modern society is gotten way too vicarious; this is only one problem in a sea of many.