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So, lets all please civilized and adults about this situations, i am wondering if anyone else has encountered this in their lifetime.

So this friend that i've known for 13 years since 9th grade in HS.
So he needed money for what reason (im not gonna get into that) maybe...
i let him borrow $1300 so far he has paid me $400 so he still owes me $900

before i let him borrow the money we had an agreement that he would pay me back within 4 months. So its been 4 months, and when i see him he would say "i would have 300 for you this weekend" the weekend comes i txt or call him, and he now said he only has $100 for me.

so he agreed on a day where i would stop by his place to get the $100. That day comes i gave him a text. No answer. It has been exactly a day since the text, and haven't gotten a respond yet.

How do you guys deal with this situation?
Should i trade money over friendship and just let it go? or maybe eventually he'll pay me back within the next 5 years?......

If you were concerned over the money, you should have had a written agreement between you. Since you apparently have no written agreement about the money, you have no business being concerned about the money. If simply telling him that you want the rest sooner than later isn't speeding along the process as much as you like you can try taking him to court--and ending your friendship, inevitably--but as you have no written agreement there isn't much to be done.

So, in closing, let this be a lesson to you. If the money is important to you in the short term, have the agreement about how the money will be lent and repaid in writing. If it's not in writing, then assume the money isn't that important and has no real timeline.

yeah so i got a call back from my friend about 28 hours later. sigh i guess it is a lesson learned...but still don't have the money.

i guess Money and Friends don't mix well...everyone is so selfish and greedy now-a-days. i guess i am to nice of a guy to say NO to things. I have to work on that..... hopefully he realize that a good friend is hard to come by, that i let him lend him money as a helping hand...and doesn't screw me over.

This post has been edited by ChennyZ on Dec 8 2013, 05:05 PM

Paperwork for everything, not having paperwork gets you into trouble like this.

I'd honestly tell him that if he can't pay you you'll have no choice to take him to small claims court, whether that is your intention or not. And it really SHOULD be your intention, because if he's going to go back on his word on not just the initial agreement but also on every payment he makes, he really can't care too much about the friendship, making it completely pointless to try to save it from your end. Do what you need to do to make sure you get your shit.

Exactly this. Hell, I wouldn't lend that kind of money to my best mate without an agreement in writing, and I'd trust that guy with my life. Money and family/friends don't go together very well.

Oral agreements are binding in many states, but the trick would be in proving the agreement was ever made.

The larger question you posed regarding friendship vs money was probably answered by him. He was in a bind, you extended your own money to him as a favor to a friend. If he were to give you the same amount of respect you did for him, what would he be doing right now? If he couldn't afford to give you the entire amount, as agreed upon, do you think he'd do his best to make sure you got as much as he could manage each week, each pay day and to assure you that he'll pay you back as much as he can until the debt it paid? Or maybe even give you something of his as collateral as a token of his intent to make sure you're not burned on this?

If it's not money, it probably would have been something else. He could have borrowed a possession of yours, what happens if he decides he really likes it and doesn't care to give it back? Or maybe beyond material things, he's always leaning on you for support in some form, but when you're in a bind, he can't be bothered.

You'd really have to look at how he's treated you as a friend and decide what you want. If he's a great friend, but just shit with money, maybe you bite the bullet or just tell him it's a gift and let it go. If it bugs you that much, then you take him aside and work out a different pay schedule to make sure anyone with a pulse and minimum wage job could manage.

Yeah, I would never let any good friends borrow that much money. I would not even let my brothers borrow money. I already learned my lesson in the past we all have to learn sometime

Since he keeps paying you little by little it shows that he can not pay you the full even if you ask him. All you can really do is just make sure he pays you back.

This post has been edited by W.A.R on Dec 9 2013, 09:49 AM

If you let someone borrow money, consider it as good as gone. If you get it back though, awesome.

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Thanks for the invite guys!
so last night he did end up calling me back and repaid $100 so he still owes me $800

and the reason why i kinda started this post is because about a week or 2 ago when the new consoles came out Ps4/Xbox one

one of my other friends sold him his old PS3 with games for $200.
With that being said it had me worrying. If he had that extra $200 he spend it on something he doesn't really need instead of paying me back. IDK...what to think.

We did exchange a couple words when he paid me that $100 and told me that he'll have another $100 by end of the week when he gets the paycheck. So i guess we'll see

or maybe it'll get dragged out again and ill get my $100 a month later....

This is a lesson learned from, I guess i am to nice of a guy to say no.

Yep. If you're concerned over money in the future, get the loan in writing.

How I've been handling it? Sort of how Kerxn said: "If you let someone borrow money, consider it as good as gone."

I have one friend who owes me $100 for hotel and transportation costs for last Otakon. She probably doesn't remember tbh. She's not very wealthy either, so I'd rather have her put that money toward textbooks. Not too big of a deal.

I have one former friend who would owe me closer to $3k for labor, of which I've only asked for $100 back to cover some of the material costs. He knows and has the money, but he's the only PoS I've ever been compelled to punch in his face should we cross paths again, so it's probably better off that I never collect.

Like gambling, I never put in more than I'm willing to lose.

its true that friends and family doesn't mix well with money. then again the nice guy who gives loans out aren't aggressive enough to say no.

i used to have this decent good friend (knew him for about 10+ years also), he would always ask to borrow $20 here and there for lunch and what now, and i would see that money 3 weeks later. Its irritating. Now i rarely talk to him.

AND he makes about $22/per hour which makes no sense to take him almost a month to pay me back. and usually when i ask him if i has the money it would call me out saying im stingy. then i would get even more irritated. FML

Hes saying youre stingy for loaning him over a grand that he agreed to borrow and expect him to be able to pay it back but are dismayed when he cant even though he can afford to kick out hundreds of dollars on "Extra" crap he doesnt actually need? Maybe you should ask him to listen very carefully to the recap there- and explain that if he really was a friend he wouldnt be putting [/b]you[/b] in the position where you need to ask in the first place- and would have made paying you back more of a priority instead of a "when he felt like it", kicking out a couple hundred bucks on some second hand gaming systems instead of paying that money to you in the first place.

How Id personally handle the situation? Itd depend on a lot of things for me. How hard was it for me to loan him that money, how badly do i need it now, etc. If for example it was hard to give him that much money, and you needed it badly yourself, and he knew that, and chose instead to spend that much money on other shit- Then ya, id be pretty pissed off. A friendship should imo be worth more than 800 bucks- But if hes doing something like that id evaluate how much of a friend he really was. If it wasnt hard to shell out the money, or i didnt need it badly, and i honestly believed they would pay it back "eventually" in a reasonable amount of time (ie i wouldnt exactly expect them to shell out EVERY spare dollar to me, but when they had enough excess, ya id probably expect something), then no i wouldnt discard the friendship- A "real" friend is, to me, worth more than 800 bucks- I however wouldnt be so ready to loan them money ever again. "Give" them money, maybe- But loan? Nope. Just me.

Well if you're under 18, you could always beat your friend up?? Jk.

Well, I'd just be straight up with him and tell him you're tired of waiting for him to repay you back your money. Go and collect it no matter what. Hire some thugs, etc.

After you collect your money you shouldn't be concerned if this makes your friendship awkward or anything like that. If it does feel awkward between you two, you really need to examine the quality of your friendships.

I believe you should reexamine your priviledge.

yeah so even after a month or so since i posted this. i have gotten the money he owes me down to $500....slowly but surely.

i've been calling him every other week for $100 and there's no awkwardness in our friendship at all, than again i have known him for about 14 years now.

truth is: if he was a bro for life then i wouldnt care if the person pays me back or not, but if i cared & ask for the person to pay me back then this guy is not my bro for life & i should not even be lending this person money in the 1st place

lending money ruins friendship