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> Initial D Ayasaki Chronicles (Fanfiction), This fanfic revolves around the mysterious GT86 driver.
Robert Bernard
  Posted: May 14 2015, 02:49 AM


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* 15 years after Project D ended *

Takumi was doing his deliveries as usual with his father's Impreza, slightly drifting on every corner, keeping a good eye on the paper cup on the cupholder, when he saw a pair of headlights pass by. It was all a blur, but he saw it. An orange vehicle, seemingly speeding to set a personal record. Takumi couldn't make out the driver's figure, but he had a feeling he would meet him again.

* A few days later *

"Hurry up, Kakeru. You'll be late for work" said a bright pink-haired woman.

"Alright, Sis." A spiky, blond-haired figure then showed himself downstairs, seemingly in a rush. He then took a sip of coffee his sister prepared and took off to get his car keys.

"Sometimes I wonder who's slower here" the figure's sister mumbled to herself.

"Shut up. For the record, you've been waking up later than everyone else my entire life." He then started his car's engine and drove to his workplace, which was on top of Mt. Akina.

"That fool, he always told me that he'd be faster than everyone else" the pink-haired woman said to herself as she watched the orange low-class sports car get off the driveway.

* At his workplace (Ayasaki Motor Service) *

Kakeru, the figure mentioned earlier, sat down, facing a work desk to resume his work on checkbooks and weekly reports. He was organizing his spare parts purchase files when one of his employees came into the room. "Excuse me, Boss, but can you head to the workshop for a second? We kind of have a bit of a problem with a customer and I was hoping you could solve it" the employee said, embarrassed of himself.

"I don't see why not." Kakeru replied.

"I'm telling you, 70,000 yen is too much for a turbo in my car. When did a turbo ever cost that high?" a customer yelled at the worker. Kakeru quickly made it to the customer and tried to turn down the heat on the situation.

"My apologies, sir. What seems to be the problem?" he asked.

"I want to install a turbo in my car but this guy is asking for too much. I just can't make a deal with him." the customer said.

"My apologies again, but what we're looking at is a Garrett turbocharger, a high-quality one. It's really popular among car enthusiasts, simply because of its boost capabilities. If you're interested, we can do it for you along with an intercooler kit for 70,000 yen." Kakeru tried to explain the reason the price is high.

"When you mention it, I've heard of these Garrett turbos bit I've never really thought about the price. If you say so, it's a deal. Only thing now is to figure out how to pay it, since I don't have that kind of money right now." said the customer.

"It's okay. We accept monthly payments with no extra charges." Kakeru said, convincing the customer to accept the purchase.

"Okay, then. Is 5,000 yen/month fine with you?" Kakeru thought for a moment, then replied,

"By all means." The customer then signed a receipt with Kakeru and went off to grab a taxi. "Well, glad that's over." he thought to himself.

* Mt Akina, 10.00 p.m. *

The mountain pass was quiet and empty, when a noise became louder and louder. It was the sound of a car engine, a boxer-four. An orange Toyota then streamed down the pass. It slowed down only enough to slightly skid the front tires before entering a corner. It swiftly entered the corner, utilizing maximum grip. The vehicle then exited the corner, equally as swift and zoomed down the straigtaway. Its driver was revealed to be a spiky, blond-haired man around his mid-20s. "How about we go hard this time, 86?" he said to his car. It was a velocity orange Toyota 86, a considerably great cornering machine. "The Impreza we saw a few days ago is fast, but with a little training, we can be faster." The driver of the 86 is actually Kakeru Ayasaki. He then continued to roam down Mt. Akina with the 86.

* In his home, Ayasaki Residence *

"So, having fun with your precious Toyota again, I see." said Sakura, Kakeru's sister.

"I told you a hundred times, it's a 2013 Toyota 86." Kakeru replied, trying to tell Sakura that it's not just any Toyota. "Well, you're right about the run, though. Don't worry, the tires are still good, as usual and I'll pay for the gas." Kakeru then made his way upstairs to bed, taking a nice, long nap for the day.

"Good night, bro."

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

This post has been edited by Robert Bernard on Jun 1 2015, 02:59 AM
Posted: May 19 2015, 10:46 AM

Were you expecting something else?

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This story has an alright start so far. Nothing that particularly stands out, but it does seem to have decent ideas in store and could turn out well. It's looking like it could have a fairly okay attention to detail in the chapters to come, and I am interested in seeing where this fic will go and what we'll see of these characters.

Just a few things to point writing-wise in this chapter though. While this chapter didn't read badly, keeping these in mind will make later chapters read even better.
He then started his car's engine and drove to his workplace, which is surprisingly on top of Mt. Akina.

The use of a word like "surprisingly" here stands out in a weird way, because while it is clear the location of this workplace is being called surprising, no actual indication is given beforehand as to why the workplace's location would be so surprising in the context of the story. This word ends up feeling unneeded, and a simple "which was on top of Mt. Akina" would've worked much better here.
"I told you a hundred times, it's a 2013 Toyota 86. No one merely calls it a Toyota." Kakeru replied, trying to tell Sakura that it's not just any Toyota.

And here the explanation of what Kakeru is trying to tell Sakura is just redundant, because what he was trying to tell her could be picked up from the spoken line itself. The line itself already has him saying that "it's a 2013 Toyota 86", and that "no one merely calls it a Toyota." - things that the reader can immediately understand - so the explanation just ends up unnecessarily repeating more or less the same information given in that line. Having an explanation immediately follow a line of dialogue like this has often been used successfully when writing comedic stories, but as this was not a comedic moment, this sort of explanation does not work here.

I hope you don't think I'm being too hard on you there. I'm just pointing these out to you for the sake of providing useful reader feedback, and to show simple things that can affect how a story reads.
Anyway, keep on writing this. I certainly want to see how the ideas for this story get built on in the next chapter. Update soon smile.gif
Posted: May 19 2015, 03:42 PM

Meteor's partner in crime!

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but he has a feeling

'he had a' for tensing sake

" Sometimes I wonder

got a couple speech parts like this where you've got a space between quote and line, just as a heads up that can look a little weird tongue.gif

and to add to Meteor's list of tips, something I've had drilled into my head by a lot of folks is new speaker new paragraph. makes reading a lot easier and it also makes keeping up with whose speaking easier.

there are a few other wording problems that I'll send via PM if you like, i make a fair share of a beta reader if you want me to take a look before you post i'm up for that too. happy.gif

also interested to see where this goes, i'd love to know how old your mains are though, owning a shop isn't an easy thing for younger folk.

This post has been edited by shadow55419 on May 19 2015, 03:43 PM
Robert Bernard
  Posted: May 20 2015, 12:43 AM


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Wow, I honestly don't believe anyone would read my work, since it's short & all. Meteor, you're not being hard on me, it's just me being soft on myself. I just don't like writing that much & I don't have that much experience on it (since I'm only 15). shadow55419, I really hope I can get the drill off your head. I do make occasional mistakes & I'm not really into fanfics because they tend to be ridiculously long (that's partially why I wrote Chapter 1 short). So, here's the next chapter.

* Ayasaki Residence, next morning *

Kakeru headed down the stairs just to find his sister at the dining table.

"Wow, you're up early today. It's like the first time you woke up this early in 10 years." Sakura said.

"Shut up. You sound like Mom. Besides, you used to wake up even later." Kakeru replied, a little mad. "So, since it's not opening time yet, what do you wanna talk about?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just reminded of the past lately. You used to be so hung up on the Corolla racer of Akina that you never stopped wanting to be a racer. You even called yourself the Speed Racer of Gunma or something. You kept researching about cars & stuff so often you forgot to study school-wise." Sakura chuckled a little.

"One, his name is Takumi Fujiwara. Two, he drives a Toyota Sprinter AE86. Three, it's a cool name. Four, it's not like I didn't study at all, I had pretty good grades, some even higher than yours." Kakeru said with a slightly louder voice. "That reminds me, I never actually agreed on Mom dumping you here. You're 2 years older than me, yet I got a house before you even got a boyfriend."

"Get out, it's not like you already hitched a lady before. You didn't even care. Besides, Mom just simply wanted both of us to be safe." Sakura said with a low voice.

"Right." Kakeru replied with a sarcastic tone. "Well, I better be going. Don't want Hibiki to wait too long. See ya for dinner." Kakeru grabbed his car keys and went off.

"Bye, bro."

* Ayasaki Motor Service *

"Sorry, Hibiki. Just lost track of time." Kakeru appologized to one of his employees, Hibiki.

"It's okay. Things happen." Hibiki replied.

* A few hours later *

"I'm telling you to go ahead. It's not like he's gonna fire you or anything." said Touka, Hibiki's friend and fellow employee.

"I know, but don't you think it's kinda sudden and.....weird?" Hibiki replied.

"Just go ahead. He's probably waiting for you to come in." Touka said.

"OK, I guess." Hibiki knocked slowly at Kakeru's office door twice.

"Come in." Kakeru said. Hibiki then walked inside the office.

"Please race me down Mt. Akina." Hibiki said with a straightforward tone.

".......Excuse me?" Kakeru replied, confused of Hibiki's sudden request.

"I know it sounds weird, so please ignore what I said just now." Hibiki said, embarrassed.

"I know exactly what you mean, but even if I want to, I can't. I'm trying to save money on tires & gas. Also, my car's not exactly the Fujiwara 86." Kakeru replied. As Hibiki was about to leave the room, Kakeru said, "And don't get any weird ideas like me firing you just because you suddenly asked." Hibiki left the room feeling embarrassed.

"I told you it wouldn't go well." Hibiki said to Touka. "He even heard what we said before I came in."

"Maybe he's trying to hide that he's the Orange 86 driver of Akina everyone's talking about." Touka said.

"I doubt so. He's our boss, nothing more." Hibiki replied.

"And you're the Employee of the Month, nothing more." Touka said, sarcastically.

* Mt. Akina, 10.00 p.m. *

Kakeru wasn't racing like he was the night before. Instead, he was just driving slowly, like any sane driver would do, when he saw a glow on his rearview mirror. "Who's that?" Kakeru said as he noticed a car quickly approaching him.

"An import? On Akina? This guy's kidding me." Kakeru thought to himself after noticing the car was a BMW. Said car was trailing behind Kakeru's 86, waiting for him to step on the gas.

"So, you wanna rumble, huh?" Kakeru used his hazard lights to signal the BMW driver to pass him. The car passed Kakeru when he suddenly sped up to it.

"Ya know, I've always wanted to see an import on Akina, especially a German one. Looks like my birthday wish is granted. Now I can race you." Kakeru continued to follow the BMW. The German import braked much later than Kakeru does, leaving him a bit behind.

"A hard-braker, huh? This'll be interesting." Kakeru caught up to the BMW in and out the corner.

"Although his braking's later, his tires shouldn't send him that far off. Even then, he's not turning the wheel that much. Must be an X-Drive."

Corner by corner, Kakeru kept up with the BMW until the 5 consecutive hairpins approached them. The BMW slowed down to pass the first hairpin while Kakeru didn't slow down as much. "Here I go." Kakeru then dropped his right wheels into the gutter, clinging onto the first hairpin, passing the BMW. After the 5 hairpins, the BMW slowed down. Kakeru noticed this and slowed down with the BMW until both cars came to a stop.

Kakeru came out of his 86 to talk to the BMW driver. "You've got guts challenging a stranger. It sure is an interesting sight, an import on Akina. A German one, too." A spiky silver-haired man, around Kakeru's age came out of his car, revealing that the lower-half of his face along with his nose were covered by a mask.

"So, it's you." Kakeru said.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that this fanfic is actually based on my life experience, so you can guess how I want my life to look like. Please give me any more tips on how to make the story better, guys. Till next time.

This post has been edited by Robert Bernard on May 20 2015, 12:44 AM
Robert Bernard
  Posted: Jun 7 2015, 02:50 PM


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Here's the next chapter.

"So, it's you." Kakeru said. "Way to surprise me, Genji. Should've known you'd go touge."

"Well, you're the single-minded idiot who brought me to this world." Genji, the masked driver replied.

"Well, I better get going. Don't want to stay too long." Kakeru said before driving off.

* Ayasaki Residence *

Sakura stood in front of the entrance as she saw her brother as he parked his precious 86. "Racing again, I see." Sakura said immediately after Kakeru headed towards the entrance.

"Yeah." Kakeru replied. "It's okay, I'll change the tires first thing in the morning."

"Do you really take me for a fool?" Sakura said as tears slowly dripped from her face. "Do you honestly believe I can just wait around?"

"What are you talking about?" Kakeru asked, confused about his sister's sudden expression. "It's just a little challenge."

"Why? Why are you doing this to me? Do you even know how much I'm worried about you, night after night? You just keep racing as if it's nothing. Why are you risking your life just for a few minutes of speed? It's not like you're going pro, are you? Can't you just forget about this racing malarkey? I just can't bear it anymore." Sakura then quickly hugged her brother in sadness. "I really can't, so please. Go back to being a normal workshop owner."

Kakeru sighed after seeing his sister this way. "C'mon. What happened to my strong sister, huh? It's not like you to behave like a pathetic 10-year-old."

"You're an idiot, you know that?" Sakura replied, still weeping.

"To be honest, I don't even know. I don't know why I keep risking my life. I don't even know how you, my own sister coped with all of my actions. No matter what I do, I simply can't answer your questions. That's partially why I race. I race to find a person that can help me answer them, help me find out why I love racing, and help me understand my version of the world we share." Kakeru said to his sister. "I'm sorry I worried you, and I'm sorry for being the guy I am now, but I need to find the person to help me find my future. Till then, I promise I won't put you in any more worries, and I promise I won't harm my own life in any way."

Sakura continued to embrace Kakeru. "Thank you." She whispered.

* Ayasaki Motor Service, the next day *

"He struck again! The Orange 86 struck again, I tell you." Touka exclaied to Hibiki.

"Really? I never knew." Hibiki replied, bored of Touka's blabbering.

"This time, I saw him actually race someone. An import, of all things." Touka continued.

"An import? On Akina? You've gotta be kidding me." Hibiki replied.

"I can't really tell the make, since it's dark and all. It's also black in color, but I'm sure it's an import." Touka said.

"What does this have any relation to anything?" Hibiki replied.

"Well, I just happened to see Boss change his tires first thing in the morning. He last changed a few weeks ago, so why's that? Did he take a stroll? Mybe a quick stroll? On Akina, perhaps? Maybe he encountered someone and got a challenge? How do you explain that?" Touka said, confident of his words.

"Come on. You don't expect me to believe that, do you? Boss probably let someone else drive his car so badly he needs a set of fresh new tires. Besides, just because he runs a workshop doesn't mean he can race. Are you even sure he knows how to race?" Hibiki replied.

"Know what?" Kakeru said as he snuck up on the two.

"N-nothing, sir." Hibiki said, shocked of their employer's sudden appearance.

"Well, we were just wondering if you knew anything about a black import on Mt. Akina last night." Touka said, trying to back Hibiki up.

"Are they talking about Genji? Better not say too much. These two get hyped about everything racing." Kakeru thought. "Actually, I happened to see one last night." Kakeru then said to the two.

"Wait, what?" Touka replied, surprised of his employer's answer. "Seriously?"

"Well, yeah. That's about it." Kakeru said. "How about we go back to work? I've got something to organize."

"Yes, sir." The two replied.

Right after their respected boss left their field of vision, Touka then continued his talk about the so-called Orange 86. "I told you he knew something."

"You know that doesn't prove anything, right? Maybe he saw a different one. Word on the street said a Porsche raced there a few years ago." Hibiki rerplied. "Imports are the trend now. It's not that surprising anymore."

"Touchè." Touka said, ending their conversation to resume their work.

* Somewhere nearby *

"You sure that's the guy, Bro?" Said a blond-haired man to his brother. "He doesn't really look the part."

"You know I'm sure about everything." The black-haired brother then checked the 86 parked in front of the workshop. "Gunma. 86-239. He's definitely the one we've been looking for, no doubt. Even his aura speaks for himself. He and his import friend can be of use for our new project."

"Wait, import friend? You mean that BMW guy? For real?" The blonde said.

"Yes. I see potential in both of them. It's like they knew Akina before they even drove on it." The black-haired man said. "Let's go. We've seen enough."

"Whatever you say, Bro." The two brothers then went into two Mazda RX-7 cars, both from different generations, and drove off.

Well, that's it for now. Till next time.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]
Posted: Jun 17 2015, 10:06 AM

Were you expecting something else?

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First of all, sorry for taking so long to drop another post here. I've been a little busier than I'd like...

So yeah, still reading this. It's only getting started but it does seem to be going somewhere now, so I'm still interested in seeing the next chapter. Also, you're generally doing a decent job on the dialogue, so that certainly helps.
Only bit that didn't really work well was the bit about Sakura getting worried about her brother racing all the time. Considering that Kakeru's probably been at this whole racing thing for a long while now, Sakura only voicing her concerns about it now rather than much earlier doesn't end up seeming right. It could've been a pretty strong scene if we'd gotten to know a bit more about these characters first and had some buildup to Sakura not being able to stay quiet about things anymore, but since the story hasn't really said much yet about things like when/how Kakeru got started with racing, how Sakura did/didn't react then, etc. or given any hints as to what Sakura's been thinking and/or why she's been so quiet about this before, the whole thing just comes out of nowhere; there's not enough information given to see the logical progression to this moment or to be invested in it.
But of course, you're only starting out so you're not going to get something tricky like this down right from the get go. So don't feel too bad about it. You'll start getting the hang of stuff like this as you go along. As always, I'm not trying to be harsh or anything; just trying to point out things to help you improve.

Anyway, that aside the fic's still showing a little bit of promise, and I'm looking forward to seeing what Ryousuke could have planned for these guys. With Project D having already conquered the mountains and then exited undefeated, I'm interested in seeing what this next project of his could possibly be and why he's seeking out new drivers for it.

As for tips on how to make the story better: I'm not going to make any big suggestions right now because I don't want to end up throwing off your style in the process. I guess I'll say really short conversations like the one starting off this last chapter can end up looking unnaturally abrupt though, and that keeping the dialogue exactly as it is I might've written it something like this:
"So, it's you." Kakeru said. "Way to surprise me, Genji. Should've known you'd go touge."
"Well, you're the single-minded idiot who brought me to this world." Genji, the masked driver replied. Kakeru smiled slightly at this. Then after a moment he was already walking back to his car, leaving Genji just a little surprised.

"Well, I better get going. Don't want to stay too long." Kakeru said before getting in and driving off.

With that abrupt end to the conversation, Genji took a brief moment to collect his thoughts and watched amused as the ZN6 drove further away. Sheesh, he thought. That idiot's tendency to be in a rush had clearly gotten even worse.

It's not exactly perfect either, but here little details are added to make the scene flow just a little smoother, and how abruptly things ended gets used to say slightly more about the characters, so the abrupt nature of it is both alleviated a little and feels purposeful rather than out of place. This is of course only an example to show how the right sort of details can make even something this abrupt have a point within the story; you could find other, possibly better things to add to this scene as well to smoothen how the scene flows and make it more interesting.
Posted: Jun 25 2015, 04:52 AM


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Thank for sharing smile.gif
Robert Bernard
  Posted: Jun 29 2015, 01:37 AM


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Wow, can't believe you're still reading this fanfic, Meteor. Thanks advice, by the way. To answer most of your questions about their backgrounds, I considered making another fanfic in the future, called Initial D Ayasaki Chronicles: The Beginning. I'm not exactly sure about whether it's a good idea to do it, but that's what I have in mind for now. Another thank you for putting my fanfic on the list. Also, I don't have a particular style in this fanfic as I usually write what I think is good, so you can edit as much as you like (even rewrite the whole thing while you're at it). Anyway, back to the story, I guess.

* Ayasaki Motor Service *

Business in the workshop went on as usual when the office phone rang. Kakeru quickly ran to the phone to pick it up.
"Hello?" Kakeru then waited for the caller's reply. "They've arrived? Finally. Thanks, pal. I'll be there right away."
Kakeru hung up and headed outside to his car. "Hibiki, I'm out to get some parts for our client. You're in charge until I get back."
"Yes, sir." Kakeru then drove away from the workshop to get said parts.
"In hindsight, maybe importing car parts straight from the US is not a good idea." Kakeru kept regretting about accepting a pending classic Dodge Charger fix he got a month ago. "Fixing an import takes long enough even before the guy demanded me to order them from overseas. I can only hope he can wait a bit longer."

* Shimura Trade Centre *

Kakeru was just about to park his 86 when the manager of the place saw him. Kakeru then parked his car with ease before approaching the manager.
"I see you're running the place now, Kazuya."
Come on. Both of us know I'm the master at business." Kazuya, the manager said. "It's not that hard to get in the family business when you have the knowledge. I even fixed up the place."
"And to think you're still the lazy showoff from 10 years ago. You've really changed."
"Unlike you, I grew up to become a better man." Kazuya replied. "How about we get inside and have a look at the parts?"
"Okay, then."

"Come to think of it, why on earth did you want Charger parts straight from the US so badly? It's rare for you to be interested in imports." Kazuya asked as both of them looked at the parts Kakeru ordered.
"Well, a guy came to my shop for a fix and demanded me to fit in fresh US parts. I just couldn't say no. The money he offered can be used for a car lift."
"Believe me, I wouldn't say no to that, either."
"I better get going. Gotta get a head start on the fix." Kakeru then loaded the needed parts in the trunk of his 86.
"Come back anytime." Kazuya waved to the already moving orange vehicle.

As Kakeru was driving his 86, his phone rang. He then picked it up while still having a hand on the wheel.
A voice burst out of his phone. "Sir, you need to come back quickly."
"Hibiki? What happened?"
"A few guys just showed up and threatened to mess the whole place up if you don't show up soon."
"Don't worry. I'm on my way." Kakeru then hung up and tried to drive as fast as he can while obeying the traffic rules.

* Ayasaki Motor Service *

"I demand your boss to show up right now!" A scary-looking man yelled at one of the workers. "I don't care where he is, if he doesn't show up now, the boys and I will make him regret owning a workshop."
"I'm sorry, sir. All I can say is he won't be coming here anytime soon."
"Looking for me?" A man then appeared in front of the workshop, gaining everyone's attention. they then realized it was Kakeru Ayasaki, the man they waited for. "Tell me what you want and I promise I won't hurt you guys as bad."
A man from the group of thugs, presumably the leader, walked up to Kakeru. "You, hurt me and my boys? Don't make me laugh, kid. We're the Akina Speed Trolls, the toughest team around."
"Then you guys can surely troll yourselves out of here, right?"
The leader then glanced at the open storage room. "Pretty fancy stuff you got there. Tell you what, how about you put them to the test?"
"I'm listening."
"Tonight, 10 o'clock, Mt. Akina. Don't be late." He then left the workshop with the rest of the group.

"Uh, sir? You do realize you just accepted a challenge from the guy about to destroy this place, right?" Hibiki said as he was scared by the thought of the outcome.
"Come on, just from the looks of their faces, I can tell they're just cave trolls. It'll be all right." Kakeru tried to bring some home in this mess.
"I hope you're right about this."

That's it for now. Till next time.

This post has been edited by Robert Bernard on Jun 30 2015, 11:16 PM
Robert Bernard
  Posted: Jul 15 2015, 07:41 AM


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Here's the next chapter.

* Mt. Akina, 10.00 p.m. *

As Kakeru approached the peak, his phone rang yet again.

A familiar voice appeared. "I heard about the challenge from Hibiki. Are you all right?"
"Sis? How did I not see this coming? I'm fine, and I'm pretty sure I will be." Kakeru replied. "Look, I know Hibiki would tell you why I did this, but just in case he didn't, I did this simply for the workshop. Those goons messed with my guys so the least I can do is return the favor."
"Be safe, okay?"
"Don't worry. I will."

Kakeru then walked out and away from his car to a crowd where the so-called Akina Speed Trolls stood. Their leader then confronted him.

"And here I thought you were gonna chicken out."
"You wish."
"By the way, I didn't catch your name. I prefer knowing who I beat."
"Kakeru Ayasaki. And you are?"
"Tora Fujimura."
"What are the rules?"
"I usually go for the old cat-and-mouse against pipsqueaks, but this time I'll be the mouse. Not that you'll be a threat to me anyway."
"Fine by me. Honestly, I just wanna get this over with so my sister won't whine as much."
"Sister complex, huh? All right, I'll do you a favor just this once."

The two then went inside their respective cars, a Toyota 86 GT and a seemingly monstrous black Mitsubishi FTO DE3A. Both cars and drivers lined up with the FTO in front. As they waited for the countdown to start, one of the spectators approached the 86.

"Sir, are you really okay with this? What if we lose?"
"We'll be all right. I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you guys or the shop."
"But street racing is dangerous without skill. You're aware of that."
"Yes. I'm also aware that me and my ride are nothing to look at compared to the monsters you guys admire, but I just can't see you in vain. The point is, I won't let you down."
"I don't care if you lose. I just don't want to see you, our boss, hurt."
"First of all, that's just flattering. Second, I'll get this over with sooner than you think."
"Just promise me that you will come back in one piece."
"I promise."

"Alright, I'm starting the countdown!"
Both cars then revved up for the race, heating up the engines before the launch. Kakeru listened to the FTO carefully to guess what his opponent did under the hood and thought to himself for a moment.
"This guy uses a massive turbo and huge exhaust system yet he sticks to the stock valve and injection setting. Does he even care about his car?"

All the spectators turned their heads to the cars.

Everyone waited in excitement for the big launch.

Both drivers continued to rev their engines.

Hibiki and the others waited in anxiety.

Both drivers put their cars in gear.

The 86 and FTO both blasted off the starting line, the tires screaming for mercy. The monstrous FTO quickly pulled away from everyone's field of vision.
' 400 hp, huh? Let's see how this guy does in the corners. ' Kakeru thought to himself.
"Let's see you keep up with me, kid."

The first corner quickly approached them. The FTO braked really hard before entering the corner, practically mopping the asphalt with rubber.
"Wow, that guy really doesn't care about his car." Kakeru said to himself.
The 86, however braked even more delicately, barely leaving enough ground for its driver to go through the corner. Both entered with speed, the FTO drifted a little while the 86 went for grip. The 86 quickly gained a lot of ground before the FTO gave away its boost and pulled away again.
"What the--that pipsqueak actually kept up with me?!"
"Oh please, sloppy braking, poor pedal control and let's not forget that sudden wiggle they call a drift. He's no faster than Sis on a tricycle. I really can't see why they're a threat, touge-wise."

The cars roared through the straight as both their drivers continued to step on the accelerator. The second corner then approached them. The FTO braked hard, painting the road with its tires again. The 86 braked as little as it can to allow just enough speed and air on the tires to speed through. The 86 once again gained more ground, this time enough for it to be with the FTO side by side for a brief moment.
"Man, now I'm starting to doubt his position as a race team leader. Well, my dear 86, how about we make those wheels make like Sonic, and Spin Dash?" (Okay, I get it, lame Sonic reference.)
' Great, I still can't shake this tangerine turtle off my rearview mirror. This guy is really annoying right now. ' Tora thought to himself.

The third corner, a hairpin, quickly approached them. The FTO braked harder and later than it should, giving enough room for the 86 to sneak up on it.
"What the heck? Now it can't even turn!"
"Now's my chance. Go, 86!" The 86, along with the FTO, entered the corner from the outside.
"What are you doing, you crazy kid? We're gonna crash!" Tora exclaimed as he could no longer control the monster he was proud of for a long time. As the FTO continued to understeer, the 86 dissapeared from Tora's vision.
"Where did he go? I coud've sworn he was-"
Just when Tora was about to finish, he heard it. A boxer engine sound coming from his right. Tora then took a glance. It was blurry, but he was able to tell what it was. It was drifting. It was an orange blur. It was....
"The Orange 86. So it is true. A speed demon ruling the road, enclosed in an embodiment of a vehicle even a few car guys hate. I simply can't believe my eyes. The pipsqueak I'm racing against is the rogue legend in the awakening. To think I finally met him." Tora said to himself as he gazed upon the wonder of the streets.

The 86 continued to speed ahead the FTO after passing it almost flawlessly by braking a little harder and taking the inside.
"Well, guess that's that. I won." Kakeru said to himself. "That was well done, 86."

A few spectators witnessed the scene and explained it to everyone at the peak.
"The 86.....won. The 86 won! I REPEAT, THE 86 WOOONNNNN!!!!!"
Everyone including the workers of the workshop held hostage heard the exclaimation and jumped with joy.
"I can't believe it. Our boss won the race!!!" Hibiki shouted at the others as soon as he heard the statement.
"I told you, man. He proved , in actual fact, that he is he Orange 86 driver." Touka approached Hibiki for a big bro hug.
"Dude, stop ruining the moment. Our boss won a freaking race! How is that not surprising?" Hibiki replied.
"The important thing is, our workshop is safe now."

The two cars came to a stop before an upcoming corner. Both drivers then came out to confront each other.
"Should've known you're the rumored Orange 86 driver. It is my honor to finally meet you." Tora said, admiring the sight upon him.
"I'm not a king, you know. Also, can't believe I was that popular with car guys."
"Well, you do know the internet. Things travel even faster than Sonic the Hedgehog could." (Okay, you can hate me. I'm a Sonic fan. I can't help it.)
"I would say things travel the way I don't want them to at times. One example is my nickname. Seriously, can't you guys think of anything more abstract for once?"
"Well, I can only say that the nickname is probably a placeholder."
"I say let's make MY nickname public."
Kakeru then approached the spectators from earlier and snatched their radio before making an announcement.
"Hey guys! Kakeru Ayasaki here."
Hibiki turned his head to the radio nearby.
"Boss? What now?" He wondered.
"In case it's all a big blur now, I just wanna be clear to you who I actually am." Soon enough, everyone payed attention to the announcement.
"I am Kakeru Ayasaki, owner of the Ayasaki Motor Service workshop, known as the Orange 86, soon to be known as the Speed Racer of Gunma. Remember that."
Everyone was confused of the announcement made.
"Speed Racer of Gunma, I like that." Tora said to Kakeru.
"Wanna make it a thing?" Kakeru replied.
"I almost forgot. About my shop..."
"Don't worry about it. That was all behind us. I promise me and my boys will never look for trouble again."
"For a cave troll, you sure are noble."
"Thanks. Got it from my uncle."
"Also, I never said I want you guys away forever. How about we just be friends and keep in contact? Are we cool?"
"Yeah, we're cool. Just don't say anything embarrassing about me."
"You have my word."

"Kakeru Ayasaki. So that's his name."
"Bro, you're not thinking what I think you're thinking, right?"
"So I am, Keisuke." The black-hiared man replied to Keisuke, his younger brother. "He just beat a guy in 3 corners, something even you couldn't do against an old AE86."
"Oh please. You know it was Fujiwara back then. Besides, even you lost to him"
"So we did. I still think he would make a great addition to the project."
"Because he was better than before?"
"No. Because he had what it takes. I noticed that he listened to the engine sounds of the FTO carefully, meaning that he analyzes his opponents before each race. He even analyzes them during the race. He knew about AWD and the weaknesses of said drivetrain. Keisuke, do you remember the steps you take before a corner?"
"Yeah. It's brake, downshift, turn and accelerate, right?"
"Yes. On the touge, we can lengthen those steps to maximize grip and tire efficiency. While the FTO guy clearly didn't, he used the early braking technique, a delicate technique that requires precision and accuracy. He sacrifices a bit of ground for cornering speed and grip. His calculations are still a bit off, but judging from the race earlier, I can tell he was just waiting for the time to strike, in this case, the hairpin. He noticed the mistakes the FTO guy did and planned a counter attack, by braking a bit more than he would and slipping through the inside. And yes, Fujiwara did the same thing in our race."
"You've been watching this Ayasaki guy for a while now, but what about his friend?"
"His import friend, Keisuke, has potential in the world of racing. I can tell he wasn't into cars since he dedicated his life into medication."
"So, he's a doctor?"
"Yes. He was one of the top medical students from Tokyo and is one of the best surgeons here in Gunma, but not as good as me, of course."
"How does that have to do with anything?"
"That proves that he is highly alert of his surroundings. Although he's not that good with cars, he was able to use the AWD drivetrain to his advantage in the race a few days ago. As proven today, Ayasaki did better on this race than on the race before, and he wasn't holding back on both races. This shows that on the streets, his friend can give him as much trouble as you would to Fujiwara."
"So you're saying both of them are similer to us?"
"Quite so. Their techniques are somewhat similar, but it's clear that one is dominant in an aspect or another. Ayasaki's knowledge in cars proved to be his forte, while his friend's instincts can be exploited to his favor. With the right training, they can be faster, possibly even faster than you two used to be."
"Hmph. In their dreams. They have to get past you, the Great Ryosuke Takahashi to be fast."
"I have limits of my own, you know."
"Yeah, I know."
The younger Takahashi looked at his brother and then at their cars, a yellow third generation Mazda RX-7 and another RX-7 from the generation before.
"How about we wrap this up and go home? I'm starting to miss my bed."
Bot got into the cars and drove down the road.

That's it, I guess. Till next time.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

This post has been edited by Robert Bernard on Jul 25 2015, 03:24 PM