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Initial D World - Discussion Board / Forums > Initial D Fanfiction > [FANFIC] Beyond the Horizon


Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Mar 7 2012, 12:33 AM
It all began January 1st, 2012, my idea to blur the lines between reality and imagination by creating a IDW and ID cross-over story. This is my first attempt at something this big. What am I thinking? This is going to be a freakishly long post...

Chapter 1 is a slightly edited version of https://idforums.net/index.php?showtopic=7910&st=2075&#entry1226533. I've come up with a Prologue to supplement the events of Chapter 1, and now Chapter 2 to continue the story. I'm working on more chapters, so look forward to it!


SPOILER




~Prologue: Calling Out~

It was a cloudless summer night on Mount Akagi, the roar of Keisuke's FD echoed through the pass. Project D came to an epic conclusion a year ago tonight, but that never stopped the younger Takahashi brother from going out every night to hone his skills on the mountain pass. On the uphill, the sight of the yellow FD shooting through the streets was common. It was out every single night; rain or shine, snow or sleet, that car was there, running for a good two or three hours before disappearing into the night. It was the last run of the session, and Keisuke was on a roll; he managed to beat his previous time record by a hundredth of a second, but he wanted to go for more. The stopwatch hung from his neck, swaying with the road as the car moved along the natural curve. The yellow FD streaked by the hairpins like lightning, piercing the warm night air with the sound of its rotary engine. Keisuke's grip on the steering wheel tightened as he neared the end of the course; he was looking to cut at least a half second off of his previous record so there was no room for mistakes, he shot into the last turn at a mind boggling speed and barreled out into the last straightaway before the finish. Keisuke scolded at the road ahead of him, the look of concentration etched into his face, he tried to press the gas pedal down but it was already on the floor. The tachometer needle stalled at the seven thousand RPM mark before Keisuke realized his mistake; the FD was only fifty meters away from the marked finish line he let off the gas. The car still sped past the finish line but Keisuke didn’t bother to record his time, he knew that his previous record stood unbroken. Suddenly frustrated with himself, he turned the car around and started for home.

The Takahashi residence stood nestled between other manors of similar grandeur; while the other mansions had Mercedes Benz and other luxury cars in the garage, the Takahashi's stood out because of the two beautiful Mazda RX-7s that were resting in the driveway. Keisuke opened the front door with a turn of his key and entered into the elegant atrium, he went straight to the bathroom; he knew that his older brother summoned him to the office for a debriefing after the night’s runs but it could wait. Meanwhile the moon shone brightly outside the window of the study, Ryosuke was seated upon a tall leather chair looking at the screens before him. The computer monitors flashed data from his younger brother’s previous runs; some of them displayed the torque produced by the engine, others had the RPMs and speed. The amount of data that was being processed by Ryosuke and the computers was enough to make anyone’s head spin. There was a quiet knock on the door, "Brother, I'm back. I remember that you wanted to speak with me when I got home. May I come in?"

Ryosuke's gaze from the screens was broken as he looked up at the door. He expected that his younger brother would be late for their meeting and planned accordingly, "Yes, of course you can come in Keisuke."

Keisuke opened the study door and walked in; donning a pair of basketball shorts and a muscle tee, he was still drying his hair with the towel that he had in his hand. Ryosuke gave him an expectant look; Keisuke brushed it off and seated himself before his older brother. Ryosuke began his speech, "Keisuke, you've shown a lot of improvement in this past year. I'm proud of you, but don't let this get to your head. If you want to become a professional driver you must continue practicing. I'm talking to you today because I want you to know that these mandatory runs every night are no longer required. I know you know endure through a lot of trouble every day to free up time for this and I see that it inconveniences you. So, you can always practice whenever you want to but I'm not forcing you to train anymore."

At these words the younger Takahashi brother gasped. The towel fell out of his hand and slumped over his shoulder, "I know I've improved, but there is so much more that I can do! I stand before you today because of the training that you've given me. If I don’t get advice from you, then I can't better myself."

Ryosuke smiled, "Keisuke, you don't give yourself enough credit. I only give you advice, you're the one following it and improving. There is only so much I can do for you. I think you know more about your skills than I will ever know. Just use your instincts and you will continue to grow past your boundaries."

Keisuke was about to open his mouth to object when the phone rang. Whenever the phone in the office rang, it meant that someone important was calling his older brother, and it also meant that he had to leave the room. Calls from this phone usually entailed personal or private business that Ryosuke had to attend to. Keisuke shot the phone a dirty look before getting up and leaving the room. The office door clicked shut before Ryosuke answered, "Hello, Takahashi residence. This is Ryosuke speaking."

The voice on the other line was someone Ryosuke didn't recognize, "Hello? Ryosuke Takahashi?"

He was shocked; people who only knew Ryosuke personally had this number, but he remained calm and collected "Yes, this is him. How did you get this number?"

The voice replied, "I have my ways Ryosuke. Now shall we talk business?"

There was no answer from Ryosuke. The person on the other line took this as a yes and continued talking, "So Ryosuke, I am sure that you have received my letter in the mail the other day. Please don’t hesitate to open it as they contain the plane tickets to your destination, along with paperwork that I've already filled out for you. Allow me to explain the situation since I assume that you have yet to read the contents of the envelope. I have been a longtime fan of Project D and I have been patiently awaiting the conclusion of your expeditions in Japan. I cordially invite you and Project D to the U.S. to try your skills on different roads. I simply ask for a race with Takumi, the downhill Ace of Project D, there is more information in the envelope so I will not delve into the details here. I understand some of the apprehension that you may feel about traveling to America, but I've done my best to ensure that your trip overseas will be pleasant. Your flight is in two weeks, and I hope to see you there."

Without waiting for a reply, the voice on the other line hung up. The dial tone rang in Ryosuke's ear, there were so many things running in his mind. Without thinking he placed the phone back on the receiver and looked back the computer monitors, the data that they displayed meant nothing to him now; his mind was empty, it was difficult to process all the information that was thrown at him through the phone. Ryosuke averted his gaze to the stack of mail sitting on the corner of the desk; on the top of the pile was an unmarked manila envelope that he remembered getting a week ago. There was no return address but 'Ryosuke Takahashi' was clearly written in bold pen stroke. Ryosuke was previously afraid to open the envelope because there was something sinister about it, but the mysterious voice on the phone seemed to be talking about this particular piece of mail. His curiosity peaked, he wanted to know more about what the mysterious challenger was talking about; he reached over the desk, grabbed the envelope and hastily opened it. There were seven plane tickets--one for each of the members of Project D--a bundle of paperwork, and a note that was in the same bold handwriting. Chills ran down Ryosuke’s spine as read the message written on the little piece of paper.

Meanwhile Keisuke was in his own room, he had finished drying his hair and was now on his laptop looking at new parts for his FD. He was thinking about how he could continue to improve his skills without the advice from his older brother. Keisuke knew that he drove based on emotions, and without the guidance of his older brother he feared that he finally hit his wall. The younger Takahashi brother was still deep in thought when Ryosuke silently appeared at the door. The elder brother looked troubled as he walked into his younger brother’s room. Keisuke finally noticed his presence and turned around, "Hey bro, do you want to finish that talk with me or something?" Noticing the apprehension on his older brother's face, he quickly adopted a tone of concern and continued speaking. "Hey. Is there something wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

Ryosuke's blank stare was met with a look of worry from Keisuke; something out of the ordinary was obviously happening. Ryosuke gazed around the room before taking a seat at the edge of the bed; he explained everything to his younger brother and by the end of the conversation, both of them had the same shocked expressions on their face. Keisuke was the first to speak up afterwards. "Bro, this sounds really fishy… I don't know if we should go. But I don't want to pass up the free chance to go to America. With our cars no less! I think we should call everyone else and see what they say. If you want I'll call Takumi, Tomiguchi, Matsumoto, and Kenta for you. I'll set up the meeting time and place and we can talk about it over dinner. It's the perfect chance to get back with everyone from Project D!"

Keisuke beamed at his older brother, that silly look on his younger brother's face reminded the Ryosuke of the times long ago when the kid would ask him to do the most outrageous things. Obviously as an older brother Ryosuke would oblige, but this time seemed like a stretch. Going overseas at the request of a total stranger? The voice over the phone didn't seem like a harmful person. He thought about it for a moment and came to the same conclusion; he smiled back, "You're right Keisuke. I'll call Fumihiro. We meet the night after tomorrow!"


~Chapter 1: Mysterious as the Dark Side of the Moon~

The wind whipped around the cold midnight air chilling Takumi, he shivered as he perched on the edge of the curb looking out into the void empty white space. It was a foggy night and he was trying to look for any trace of road that was lost in the vastness of the mist. Ryosuke appeared out of the fog and stopped next to Takumi, together they stood in silence until Takumi broke the ice, "This fog is thick isn't it? I've never seen anything like it! It looks like I'm going to be driving blind this race huh?"

Ryosuke continued to gaze forward and calmly replied, "This fog is a bit of an anomaly but don't worry I know you can do this. Ok, so let’s go over this again; since this course is on a 27% grade, so there is no uphill portion. This course is also surprisingly short--only a one hundred meter dash into eight consecutive hairpins and a two hundred and fifty meter straightaway till the finish. I know you haven't had the time to memorize it yet, but I'm confident in your skills. Since this is the only race, you're carrying the team. I know you will do well."

Takumi shivered again before saying, "Thanks for the advice Ryosuke, but may I ask. What are we doing here? Seriously, what were you thinking, bringing us out to a place like this? On short notice too!"

Ryosuke smiled as he pulled his overcoat in a little closer to keep warm before replying, "All I know is that we are in a coastal city in the state of California. We are here because I got a call from someone who was challenging us to a downhill race. He personally requested a race from you. He is from this area and he offered to pay for all of our traveling expenses. How could I refuse something like that?"

Takumi eyed him with a hint of malice before continuing on his rant, "Well it doesn't really help that we don't know who this guy is. What if he's some crazy fanatic that wants to steal our cars and sell them for the highest bidder? My dad would never forgive me for letting anyone get away with stealing the 86!"

"I know, that's why I've taken preventive measures to ensure that--"

"You know cars like my 86 or Keisuke's FD go for a lot now in markets like these..."

Ryosuke turned to face Takumi and quickly shot, "I know this was a hasty decision by me but you must remember that Project D never declines a challenge. Now get ready, your opponent is here."

Their backs were illuminated by the glow of headlights as a car approached them. The hum of the engine swelled as a silver 2005 Corolla LE appeared--seemingly out of thin air--and pulled up next to Takumi's 86. The sound of the engine stopped with a turn of the key, instead of the door opening the window rolled down so that the driver was still hidden behind the tinted glass. He spoke, "Ryosuke Takahashi and Takumi Fujiwara I presume?"

Ryosuke, surprised by the way this new challenger presented himself replied, "Correct, are you the opponent?"

The voice inside the car seemed pleased with the way the conversation was going and answered, "Yes, I am very glad that you could make it out tonight. I apologize for my lateness, but I was busy running some errands. Shall we begin our race?"

A chill ran down Ryosuke's spine, "... Don't you want a briefing on the rules first?"

"That won't be needed Ryosuke, for I already know the rules. I'll start by following."

"Oh... Well if that is the case then let's begin... Takumi, get ready." Ryosuke threw Takumi a nervous glance. He motioned Takumi closer and whispered, "Takumi, this guy is giving me the chills--"

"Are you sure that you're just not cold?" Takumi shot back jokingly.

Ryosuke replied with a stern look, it was obvious that he wasn't kidding, "Please, for our sake Takumi. Finish this race quickly."

This surprised Takumi but he had to reassure the leader of Project D, "Hey Ryosuke, have a little faith in me! You're talking to one of the Aces of Project D, you selected me for this position right?"

At hearing this, the worry seemed to wipe off his face, Ryosuke smiled as he realized that fact, "You're right! Why am I worried? Best of luck out there Takumi."

He patted Takumi on the shoulder one last time before the young driver got into the waiting 86 and pulled up to the starting position. The engine of the Corolla roared to life as the opponent also started his car, it moved quickly to it's line and waited. Ryosuke checked with Keisuke one final time for the status of the finish line with his radio, "Keisuke, this is the starting line. How's does the finish line look?"

After the static of the radio died down Keisuke's voice rang through the night, "The finish line is clear. I haven't seen any cars so the road is wide open. To be honest I can't see anything in this fog, but we are ready when you are. Just give us the word."

Ryosuke nodded to Fumihiro who was standing in front of the idle cars, it was time. The air froze from the tension as Fumihiro raised his hand into the sky called out into the night, "Racers on your mark!"

The engines roared in response, they eagerly awaited the countdown that would soon come.

"5... 4... 3... 2... 1....."

Ryosuke could feel the excitement was tangible to say the least. For a moment the world stood still as Fumihiro finished countdown. With a single swipe of his hand that cut through the fog he screamed, "ZERO!"

And like that, Takumi hit the gas pedal with everything he had. Ryosuke, Keisuke and everyone else in Project D was watching. He could not fail them. The 86 shot through the fog at a blinding speed, Takumi felt more at ease as the road in front of him transformed from the straightaway to the eight consecutive hairpins. Takumi checked his rear view mirror, the Corolla wasn't too far back. It finally started; the 86 sprung to life as it danced around the corners in the blanket of mist, it was exhilarating! The hairpins came, one after another, this was a feeling that Takumi hadn't felt in years; he pushed his car to the limit. He flew with the Corolla close behind him; but no matter how fast Takumi went, he just couldn't shake this mysterious opponent off. Panic started to rise up--like a poisonous spring at the bottom of a valley--Takumi felt fear as he rounded the third corner the glare of his headlights against the fog obsured his vision but he had to keep going. The mist as immense, and as Takumi cleared the fourth turn something extraordinary happened...

The white space around the 86 resounded with the roar of the engine; but it wasn't the 86, it was the Corolla. Instead of following the inside line, it took to the outside at an amazing speed. Words cannot describe the events that took place in that five second time frame, it all happened way too fast. By the time Takumi processed all of the information it was already over. The red tail lights of the Corolla disappeared into the void as it sped into the next corner. Takumi was crushed, the silence around him pressed into his very frame of being as the engine of the 86 hummed, it was futile to try to regain the lead at this point in the race; but he pushed on, the determination that he had was nothing short of incredible. When Takumi arrived at the finish line--an eternity later--the Corolla was already there, parked idly under a tree.

Takumi quickly pulled over and noticed a heap of shadows at the street corner. Everything seemed to move in slow motion now; Takumi slid out of his car and approached the shadows. Kenta came into focus and as Takumi looked around he heard a disembodied sob--it was Keisuke with a radio in hand. Keisuke looked up, there were tears in his eyes as he looked back at the youngest member of Project D. His voice, full of disdain and sadness cried into the radio, "Takumi... He-he... HE LOST."

Those words echoed into the cold and lifeless night as another wave of emotions swept over Takumi. His vision blurred as tears welled up in his eyes. He wanted to hide, the shame of his loss, the fact of his loss, these emotions that he felt; Takumi wanted all of them to go away. He ran back to the 86 and slammed the door shut; at this rate, if no one could reach him then he didn't exist. Keisuke sank to the floor as Ryosuke's voice sounded from the radio, "Wait, what? Keisuke! Give me the times... Never mind I'm going down. Wait." There was no response from Keisuke, the radio was talking to no one...

Another eternity passed before the silence of the night was broken by the unfamiliar sound of Ryosuke's FC pulling up to the other cars. There was the sound of footsteps, then a figure appeared and came up to the curb where Keisuke was seated--still crying. His sobs were held back in vain as he chocked out to Ryosuke, "I'm sorry brother..."

Ryosuke was shocked to see his normally tough brother in a state like this. There wasn't much he could do to console him, "Keisuke, don't worry this isn't your fault."

Keisuke stared long and hard at his brother before he said, "... The Corolla at 9'36"398 and Takumi at 9'48"073..."

Ryosuke fell back a bit, "WHAT?! A ten second lead!? On a course this short? How is that possible if the Corolla started following?"

The younger brother shrugged and pointed to the 86, "That I don't know... You'll have to ask Takumi."

Ryosuke walked toward the parked car, through the frosted windows he saw the figure of Takumi Fujiwara slumped over the wheel. It was pitiful sight to behold, Ryosuke tapped on the cold window, "Takumi what happened?"

There was no response from Takumi, he was in a world of his own. Ryosuke decided not to push the issue and called the rest of the team from the starting line down. A few minutes later the door of the 86 opened and the driver finally stepped out into the cold night air. Ryosuke gasped as he finally got a look at him, Takumi was in a state of total disarray. It looked as though he had just seen a ghost. He no longer looked calm--for the first time in his life--Takumi looked fazed, he spoke quietly, "Honestly? I don't know Ryosuke. I was leading for the first three hairpins and then... But I was taking it easy because of all this fog. Next thing I know, he was in front and then before I could even register the shock of it, he was gone. At least two hairpins in front of me. I'm sorry Ryosuke... I let you down..."

For once in his life, Ryosuke did not know what to do. He looked around in the swirling white mist for an answer... None came. Everyone on the team looked at him expectantly for a reply. He finally said, "It's fine. Don't worry about it. If anything this is my fault... I'm the one that should be sorry."

The dread that hung in the atmosphere was heavy, it was as if the water in the air condensed and everything was stuck at the bottom of the ocean. It was hard to breathe, hard to move, hard to think. It took all the effort in the world for Fumihiro to say, "Ryosuke? The guy in the Corolla wants to speak with you."

Ryosuke nodded and quietly said, "Right, we need to discuss the terms of his victory... Now if you'll excuse me, everyone..."

Ryosuke turned away from the group, he really had no idea what to do in a situation like this. He was nervous, it was that tight feeling at the bottom of the gut. It resonated with Ryosuke as he ventured through the void towards the car. The shadow of the car formed and solidified before them, Fumihiro stopped and allowed Ryosuke to continue on himself. There was the muffled click as the door of the Corolla opened, and the driver stepped out. Fumihiro took another step back to give the leader of Project D and the opponent some space, it took Ryosuke a moment to absorb the person that stood before him. He was quite possibly a few years older than Ryosuke, through the fog it was easy to see that he had no malicious intent. They both stood face to face before Ryosuke finally said, "First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your total victory over my team. You have earned our combined respects... Excuse me for asking so bluntly, but who are you?"

The man paused a moment as if to think about what to say next before simply smiling, he replied calmly, "Me? Why I am just your simple Project D fan. This race was unofficial--it never happened."

This took a moment to sink in. The victor calling his victory unofficial? Ryosuke stared in awe as the man turned around and started to rummage through the glove compartment of his car. The world around him froze. Who is this mysterious man? What is he trying to accomplish with calling this race unofficial? A few moments passed before the man turned around and handed an envelope Ryosuke, there was a grin on the man's face as he spoke, "These are your return tickets to Japan, but don't worry you don't have to leave right away. You have a week to spend here in San Francisco so enjoy your stay. I have enough rooms and garage space to accommodate you and the rest of Project D."

Ryosuke gripped the envelope tighter and stared at the man who beamed back at him. How was it possible that a challenger who was good enough to defeat them, be so welcoming? Ryosuke looked back to Fumihiro, he was just a silhouette against the white backdrop of the mist. Ryosuke returned his gaze to the man and finally spoke, "Why are you being so gracious to us?"

The man was already walking back to his waiting car. He stopped in his tracks and a moment of silence ensued. In that time the fog seemed to dissipate into nothingness and everything around them cleared up. The man stood, illuminated by the light of the moon. He looked back and shrugged, a faint trace of a smile appeared on his face, "Because... I told you, I'm a fan of Project D and that's it."


~Chapter 2: Tip of the Iceberg~

Ryosuke was shocked. How was it possible that a 'fan' of Project D had the skills needed to defeat the 'undefeatable' downhill ace? The very same ace that defeated him years ago while he was still at the peak of his skills? The silence of the night was broken by the sound of the Corolla's engine coming back to life. Ryosuke was snapped out of his thoughts and quickly ran up to the open window of the Corolla to speak to the man, "How can we ever accept your kindness if we don't even know your name?"

This required no thought from the opponent. He smiled, "If you must know, my name is Perry. And since it is pretty late now I will be leading the Project D caravan to my house if you will allow it."

There are only a certain amount of shocking things that a person can take in one day, Ryosuke was at his limit. He cracked a nervous smile as he gave into Perry's hospitality, "Sounds like a plan. I'll tell everyone else, please wait here."

Fumihiro looked puzzled as Ryosuke ran past him to the rest of the group that was assembled outside in the circle of cars. He was out of breath from the jog and the shock, "Guys... Our opponent--Perry... Has invited us to... Ah... Stay at his place for the rest of the week... I have our return tickets home right here..." He held up the envelope as everyone stared at him in awe.

Kenta was the first to speak up: "Ryosuke, are you sure that we should be doing this? I mean we don't even know the guy! He beat Takumi, he can't be human!"

With that everyone looked at Takumi, who stood separated from the group. With the fog gone, the moonlight lit everything it touched--except the 86. The little car and its driver seemed to be shadowed in a veil of darkness and despair. It was demonic, the sadness that emanated from Takumi was unearthly. Everyone expected a sign of acknowledgement or movement from the young man, but there was none. For a moment, time froze and the world stood still as they waited for the answer that would never come. The silence was broken by the sound of footsteps; Keisuke walked up to the young driver and grabbed him by the collar. There was no time to react; Keisuke shook Takumi, there was no resistance from the boy. "GOD DAMN IT TAKUMI! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. IS THIS HOW YOU FACE A LOSS? HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT WHEN YOU DEFEATED ME? HOW DO YOU THINK MY BROTHER FELT? HOW DO YOU THINK EVERY-SINGLE-PERSON-YOU'VE-DEFEATED FELT? TO LOSE IS TO BE HUMAN. NOW GET OVER YOURSELF STUPID!"

The sound of a punch echoed through the night. Before anyone had the chance to process the information, Takumi was on the ground nursing a bruised cheek and Keisuke was walking back to the rest of the group. Matsumoto was the first to run over and help Takumi up, he shot Keisuke a dirty look before saying, "Ryosuke, I agree with Kenta. If he was able to beat Takumi on the downhill then I doubt that he's an ordinary person. There's something funny going on and I do not want to take part in it."

The soft moonlight illuminated the worry and the fear on everyone's face. Was it true that this defeat by an unknown opponent pushed Ryosuke over the edge of sanity? Because it was out of character for Ryosuke to panic, out of character for him to accept the gratuity of others, and out of character of him to overstep the boundaries of common sense. A moment passed before Ryosuke gave Project D a stern, reassuring look. "Look everyone, I know this is going out on a limb but trust me on this. I have a feeling that Perry means no harm. Just get in your cars and follow that Corolla. If this turns out for the worst, then you can blame it all on me."

At this everyone nodded and walked off to their cars. Tomiguchi stepped into the first support van, Kenta and Fumihiro took the second. Ryosuke and Keisuke walked to their RX-7s. Takumi stalked back to the 86 but as soon as he opened the door, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to identify the person who prevented him from getting into his car; it was Matsumoto, and he had a serious look on his face, "Takumi, you seem troubled. If you don't mind I'll drive for you."

There was a moment of silence, Matsumoto looked at him expectantly waiting for an answer. Takumi said nothing but nodded and stepped aside, this was as good of an answer that anyone could pull from the boy. Matsumoto acknowledged his reply and got into the driver's seat, Takumi walked around the car and slumped into the passenger's seat. The engine of the 86 grumbled to life and pulled up behind the Corolla; this was a sight all too familiar to Takumi. He looked down in shame and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. One by one the hum of the other engines were added to the symphony, and together they rode into the night. With the Corolla as the head, the great car-train snaked through the streets to their unknown destination. The drive seemed to last an eternity; city backdrops gave away to fields, fields turned into ocean, and then slowly evolved into the outskirts of a different city altogether. They finally pulled into a large driveway lit only by the glow of a lonely lamp post and the moon. Getting out of the old 86, Takumi felt the cold ocean breeze on his face; his bruise stung against the wind and he shivered again. Keisuke parked his FD next to the 86 and stepped out to survey his surroundings; Ryosuke parked his FC next to Keisuke's FD and walked out to stand next to him. Everyone else piled the luggage out of the two support vans and gathered around the three. The Corolla's door clicked open and Perry stepped out. There he stood under the glow of the street lamp; tall, and lean. Ryosuke was right to say that he had no malicious intent; he seemed too kind to ever think of hurting anyone. There was a smile on his face as he looked at the group of people assembled before him. He took a step forward and cleared his throat, "Thank you for coming out here everyone. It was a pleasure racing with you tonight. I will be showing you to your lodgings now, if you will follow me."

Everyone looked on in bewilderment as Perry walked towards them, the crowd parted as he walked through and together they started walking towards the manor that stood silhouetted against the midnight sky. It was a small residence perched on the edge of a hill that overlooked the city; everything was laid out before them in miniature. The lights on the city blocks looked like a quilt of yellow in a sea of black; it was an amazing view and the only person that stopped to admire it was Tomiguchi. Everyone else was too tired from the night's events to absorb the view; Keisuke nudged him to continue on. After three minutes of walking they reached front door, with a simple turn of the key the door opened to reveal a modest atrium. Perry walked into the center of the hall and turned around, he saw the shock on their faces and smiled, "Welcome to my home everyone. I'm sorry, but I only have three extra bedrooms so some of you will have to bunk together." He motioned to the stairway that led to the second floor.

It took a moment for Ryosuke to realize that he was the leader of Project D and that he was responsible for speaking on the behalf of the team. Keisuke pushed him out of the group and into the open; Ryosuke stumbled forward before looking back at his younger brother with an angry glare. "Thank you for your hospitality, Perry. This is more than enough. My team also thanks you."

The rest of Project D nodded in approval and slowly grabbed their bags and trekked up the stairs and into the hall. It was easy to see that Perry kept the place clean, each spare bedroom was well maintained with clean futons and cozy. Tomiguchi, Fumihiro, and Kenta took the first room, Keisuke and Ryosuke got the room with the desk (because Ryosuke needed a place to set his laptop up) while Takumi and Matsumoto had the room at the end of the hall. Keisuke called first dibs on the shower but it didn't really matter, everyone else was too tired to protest; they just wanted to go to bed and put the events of tonight to rest.

Within fifteen minutes, Project D was already situated and everyone seemed to overcome the initial shock of staying overnight in a complete stranger's house. In the first room, the Matsumoto and the other three were going over the happenings of the night. Ryosuke was in his room busy running diagnostics on the 86 and the course, desperately trying to figure out what happened during the race, while his younger brother took a shower. Takumi already had his futon out, and was laying on it, alone in the room. He didn't even change out of his clothes, he wanted tonight to be some kind of bad nightmare. He lay there in the warm comfy sheets and thought about what happened during his race; he didn't want to think about it, but the visions of the hairpins kept replaying in his mind. He closed his eyes tighter as he tried to push the thoughts out of his brain, but it was no use, the images of that downhill were now burned into his very being. Takumi wished to be back in Gunma in his own bed, waiting for the morning deliveries of tofu that he had to make, wishing to run up and down the streets of Akina in his trusty 86, longing to see Itsuki and the others at the gas station; he thought of home and the ordinary life that he could of been leading. With all these different thoughts running through his head, it was a miracle that he fell asleep at all.

Perry sat at his desk proofreading some coding that he developed; monitors surrounded him and displayed the data and statistics from the previous versions of the code. He was focused on what he was doing; nothing could disturb him now except the ring of his cellphone. He looked at the caller ID, it read Meteor; he smiled as he reached for his phone, "Hello?"

The voice on the other side was excited to hear from him, "Hello Perry! How was the race tonight?"

Perry paused for a second, his smile turned into a grin. He laughed.



And that's it for now! Tell me what you think. smile.gif

Posted by: Meteor Mar 7 2012, 01:00 PM
There are a bunch of typos in need of fixing, but that's a small issue. I'd normally type up a longer, more in-depth review, but I'm a little short on time so for now I'll just say there's a lot of good writing in what's been posted so far and I'm looking forward to what happens next.

Also, lol @ me making a cameo in here.

Posted by: Perry Mar 11 2012, 12:33 AM
I read it twice. Loved it. Your writing style is quite proficient. The way you describe the ambient setting is quite easy to immerse oneself into the story. I like how the main protagonist has the same name as I do. I feel like I am that Perry in the story. Interestingly enough, he even acts very similarly. If that was aimed at me, I am very flattered. I also like how you didn't exaggerate most of the dialogue between the characters. They all sound very real and reasonable. Most of the time, they are "in character." Great job! I am looking forward to the next chapter as well! smile.gif

Posted by: DownhillFR-S Mar 18 2012, 12:50 AM
Nice. Nice. It's looking good. That said, while the characterizations are wonderful, and the dialogue\character building is spot on, I would suggest making your race scenes a bit less vague. Lots of action, not a lot of detail.

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Mar 23 2012, 05:12 PM
Thank you for the feedback guys! I need all the input I can get. So after a few weeks of thinking and writing, I've come up with three--count them--THREE chapters to post up. It's going to be a huge post... I hope you guys continue to read and comment! Now to address all these comments and to give my feedback on your feedback! happy.gif

QUOTE (Meteor)
There are a bunch of typos in need of fixing, but that's a small issue. I'd normally type up a longer, more in-depth review, but I'm a little short on time so for now I'll just say there's a lot of good writing in what's been posted so far and I'm looking forward to what happens next.

Also, lol @ me making a cameo in here.

Be sure to write me a full review when you get the time. I need your expertise on this topic. I also LOL'd at your cameo. I had no idea how to write you in but I did, and it seemed to work. laugh.gif

QUOTE (Perry)
I read it twice. Loved it. Your writing style is quite proficient. The way you describe the ambient setting is quite easy to immerse oneself into the story. I like how the main protagonist has the same name as I do. I feel like I am that Perry in the story. Interestingly enough, he even acts very similarly. If that was aimed at me, I am very flattered. I also like how you didn't exaggerate most of the dialogue between the characters. They all sound very real and reasonable. Most of the time, they are "in character." Great job! I am looking forward to the next chapter as well!

Thank you for the complements Perry! The Perry in the story is supposed to be my literary portrayal of you! So of course he acts in a similar manner. Or I hope he is. I'm basing all the character designs from what I've observed from talking to the various members of IDW. While the other characters have good reasons to act out of character, I'll explain it in later chapters. Or maybe in my analysis of my writing, if I ever decide to do one... Anyways, I'm hoping to add more people as the story goes; so if anyone else is interested in becoming a character, shoot me a PM and we can schedule something from there!

QUOTE (Downhill280Z)
Nice. Nice. It's looking good. That said, while the characterizations are wonderful, and the dialogue\character building is spot on, I would suggest making your race scenes a bit less vague. Lots of action, not a lot of detail.

Thanks for pointing out the obvious sir. I know my race scenes are really boring. I'm looking into ways to make them better and I really appreciate the fact that you're working with me outside of the forums to help me improve on my writing skills. Thank you!


So with all the comments aside, I present to everyone... Chapters 3 - 5 of Beyond the Horizon.



~Chapter 3: Of Thoughts and Discussions~

Perry stopped laughing right in time for Meteor to inquire again, "Perry, how was the race? I'm dying to know!"

Wiping the tears of laughter from the corner of his eyes, Perry took a deep breath and pushed himself away from the computer desk. He got up and walked over to shut his door before talking again, "Hello Meteor, it's been a while since you’ve called me like this. Where did you hear about the race? I thought I kept it a secret from everyone else."

Meteor chucked before continuing, "It's impossible to keep things THIS big a secret. Otherwise, I have my ways, Perry. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone knew what was going on by the end of the month, so be prepared for a mess of inquiries and phone calls from everyone in the upcoming days. I'm the first of many people who will be calling you. If you have a secretary, then it would be best to put that person to use now." There was a pause over the phone; Perry could only imagine Meteor sitting in a chair smiling mysteriously. Before he could say anything, Meteor spoke again, "Anyways, back to business. How was the race? I'm going to keep bothering you about this until you tell me."

Perry noticed that one of the monitors flashed, he had a message from someone else. Meteor was right, this was the start of a communications disaster. Perry thought of contacting his secretary before the night was over but decided against it, seeing as it was two thirty in the morning. He frowned at the clock at the corner of his screen; she was obviously asleep by this time. And there were no means of contact without her getting angry at this god forsaken hour. It would have to wait until tomorrow he thought and turned on the speakerphone. He put his phone down on the desk and replied to both the message on the computer and Meteor. The keyboard clacked away as Perry spoke, "Oh, it wasn't that big of a deal Meteor. Takumi and I had a downhill race on Lombard Street. It was foggy as hell, so couldn't see the road in front of me. I over took him on the fourth hairpin, it was easy. Surprised I had a full ten second lead on him though, but that’s a story for another day. I'll tell everyone about it in details when the time comes. For now, is that a good enough answer?"

There was a moment of silence before Meteor's voice came from the phone, "Hmph, fine. I guess that will suffice for now. Your story better be good when you decide to tell everyone! You keep too many secrets Perry, that's bad for your health. Anyways, it was great talking to you again and I wish I could extend this conversation, but I have other things I must attend to. I'll talk to you later Perry."

Perry looked at his phone and replied, "Of course Meteor. It's always good to talk to you. Hopefully our next conversation isn't about all this business talk." The cellphone answered back with the dial tone. Perry picked up the phone and hung up to stop the noise; he looked back at computer screen. He had five more messages, all bearing a different form of the same question. He sighed before pressing the power button on the monitors and getting up again from the desk. He walked to his closet, gathered a clean change of clothes and walked to his bathroom.

Fresh out of the shower ten minutes later, Perry opened the door to the hall and walked out; he made his rounds about the house checking if all the doors were closed and locked while all the lights were off or dimmed as needed. The moonlight shone through the ceiling windows in the atrium, lighting the way up the stairs back to the hall; Perry walked through the hallway back to his room when he heard the footsteps of someone else, turning around he saw Keisuke standing in front of the door to his room. Their eyes met and for a brief moment, he could feel the hate emanating from the man who stood before him. Perry felt apprehensive; as though the younger Takahashi brother would strike out at him if he made any sudden movements. Wordlessly, Keisuke strode towards Perry and extended a hand; Perry glanced down at it and then looked back at the young man before taking it in his own and shaking it. Keisuke smiled, "Thanks for hosting us Perry, even though I still have no idea why you should go out of your way to do such a thing. Your troubles mean a lot to us."

Perry returned the smile and looked at the Takahashi brother; Keisuke had a reputation of being the tough guy using his fists or his car to talk instead of words. It was a surprise that Keisuke was standing before him so candidly, fresh out of the shower and ruffling his hair dry with a small towel. "It's no problem Keisuke. It's an honor to host Project D, I hope everyone is enjoying the stay. It took days to clean the rooms and get everything ready. All I can say is that this is no easy task, hosting a Japanese semiprofessional racing team in California. Had to jump through a lot of loop holes and talk to quite a few people…" Perry chuckled, "In any case, you and the others should be getting some rest; we might have something planned in the morning when everyone wakes up."

Keisuke stared for a moment at the man who stood before him grinning from ear to ear; Perry's smile was contagious, the younger Takahashi let out a short laugh, returned the smile and shook his head. "You sure are one hell of a guy Perry. I can't read you, and I'm sure that my brother is just as confused as I am. Thank you again for letting me in on the plans for tomorrow--erm, I mean today. I'll tell everyone to get some rest. Good night Perry." Finally he nodded and resumed toweling his hair dry as he walked back to his side of the hall.

Perry watched as Keisuke walked to the first door in the hall and walked in; a brief, muffled conversation ensued with Tomiguchi and the others in the room and the chatter of everyone saying good night at the same time was heard. Perry turned around and walked back to his room thinking about the months of scheduling and planning that were taken into this single event. He would have to thank his secretary when the time came, for now he was pondering the long term effects of holding an event like this for a group of street racers. Hundreds of different thoughts crossed his mind as he opened the door silently and looked around, lost in thought.

He walked over to his bed and sat on top of the covers, playing with his phone in between his hands. Perry contemplated the consequences of his actions and the impact of this whole ordeal for a few minutes. Deciding it wasn't worth it to think about matters like this; he got up to turn off the lights and shuffled back to the bed, flopping down over the covers. He checked his phone one more time and silenced it before closing his eyes and going to sleep.

Ryosuke looked up from his computer just as Keisuke came back from the hall. In the cool summer night the younger Takahashi brother was forced into wearing sweatpants and a baggy shirt; either way he still looked good. Ryosuke silently wondered how his little brother didn't have a girlfriend yet and returned his gaze back to the computer before saying, "Keisuke, how do you think Takumi lost tonight? All the simulations that I've run do not explain how he fell a full ten seconds behind Perry. It's understandable that he lost but losing with a time difference that wide is definitely out of the ordinary."

Keisuke stopped drying his hair and thought about it for a moment. Something was definitely wrong during that race; but since he was not the one driving, there was no way to him to tell. After more than a few moments, Keisuke resumed toweling his hair and simply stated, "Dunno bro. I think for that you'd have to ask either Perry or Takumi. Anyways, I just finished talking to Perry, he said that we might have something to do in the morning so I already told everyone else to get some sleep while they can. I'll also be going to bed now, so good night."

Ryosuke closed his laptop and nodded. It was easily three o'clock in the morning and everyone else was done with the bathroom at this point in time. Ryosuke gathered his things and walked to the door, looking back he saw that his brother conveniently set up both of the futons and was already slipping into one. He couldn't help but smile, it has been years since the two brothers shared a room together; it was funny seeing the younger Takahashi wiggle himself into the futon. Ryosuke had forgotten the brotherly bond that both of them used to share, although he was not looking forward to the incessant snoring problem that Keisuke had whenever the weather would warm up and cool down like this. Ryosuke bid his brother good night and turned off the lights before walking into the bathroom that stood between Fumihiro's room and his.

"… I believe that Perry is hiding something from us. Beating Takumi is no easy task, I should know. I'm the one who works on the damn car!" Matsumoto yelled, it was easy to see that he was very annoyed with the situation. The four members of Project D were talking about the night’s race for over an hour now; and every single conclusion that they came to was either a dead end, or Perry being an alien or some sort of wizard. Fumihiro sighed and looked at the door as Kenta returned from his shower; standing up and clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention, "If everyone's done taking a shower, I'd like to draw this conversation to a close. We have been talking for over an hour to no effect. At this rate, the sun will rise before we come to a plausible conclusion. We can look for answers later, for now we have to get some rest. As Keisuke said earlier, we might have something planned when we wake up. And there’s no knowing what Perry may have in store for us in the morning."

Matsumoto nodded and wished the others good night again; he closed the door behind him noiselessly and padded through the small hallway. The hall looked less welcoming when all the doors were closed and the din of people talking died down. He noticed that the door to his room was still open and the lights were off; tip toeing up to the door frame, he whispered into the darkness, "Hey Takumi, you awake?"

The shadows did not reply; Matsumoto waited a few more seconds before he took his phone out. Wandering around in the dark, he used it to light the way to his futon; nearly kicking Takumi in the process. The futon was still folded neatly in a pile at the center of the room when he finally found it. He laid them out with his only source of light the moon and his little cellphone, looking up he saw a square of yellow light coming from the hallway. Cursing at himself for forgetting to close the door after him, he got up and shuffled to the doorway to immerse the room in complete darkness. He looked around before closing the door, Takumi looked like a mess. He didn’t even bother to change out of his dirty clothes before laying on his futon; Matsumoto made a mental note to apologize to Perry about this the next day and closed the door. Everything that wasn't touched by the natural moonlight was swallowed in darkness, Matsumoto cursed again at forgetting his cellphone by his futon. He had to make the trip back in the darkness; shuffling around the room to avoid almost kicking Takumi again, he smiled at his own forgetfulness and he made another mental note to make an effort to remember things more efficiently. It was an arduous journey back to the futon, but somehow Matsumoto made it; he got under the sheets, sighed, and closed his eyes.


~Chapter 4: Lucid~

The road opened up ahead as the engine roared in delight. Trees flanked the sides of the path creating the illusion of a green walled tunnel under the moonlight; with the start of the gentle incline, the Midnight Blue Impreza began its descent down Mount Akina. The trees gave way to sheer mountain walls and cliffs as the street snaked dangerously close to the edge, flirting with danger. The guardrails bore the scars of the less skilled, showing scratches and dents every few meters; this did not faze the driver, in fact Takumi was half asleep in his father's car as he was returning from the morning deliveries. The mighty blue beast stampeded down the winding mountain pass with the grace of a dancer; from the base of the mountain, its headlights appeared and disappeared as it sped past the trees and signs. Takumi yawned, since the conclusion of Project D a year ago his life became one long drawl. Day in, day out; he woke up early in the morning to do the tofu deliveries in the car of his choice, returning home to get ready for his other job, arriving in for his shift promptly every day, stopping by the gas station afterwards to hang out with Itsuki and the others, and returning home to do chores, eat, and sleep only to wake up early the next morning to rinse and repeat the entire process.

He sighed as the street leveled out before him and the trees were replaced with buildings, riding back home meant that he had to start another long day doing the same thing over and over again. Pulling up to the Fujiwara Tofu Shop he saw the 86 parked in its usual spot and an unusual sight. Bunta Fujiwara was standing in the frame of the front door waiting for Takumi to get out of his car, the yellow light emanating from within the shop cast a long shadow on the driveway before the old man; a trail of smoke wafted from the glowing tip cigarette and stopped as he inhaled. Bunta stepped in front of the Impreza and waited for his son to get out, the headlights illuminating his figure turning the smallest features of his face into jagged and strange shadows. Takumi stared at his father quizzically before shaking his head and pulling the car into park.

Something happened.

The Impreza would not stop. Takumi pressed on the brake; but instead of slowing down, the car sped up. There was a disgusting crunch and a bump as Takumi plowed his father over with his very own car. Bunta's expression did not change was he fell under the advancing vehicle; but his son’s face contorted in shock and confusion. Takumi looked back to see the mangled body of his father lying in the middle of the street. He screamed in protest as the car continued to move forward. Nothing he did would get the moving beast to stop. He tried to take his hands off the steering wheel to undo his seatbelt and unlock the door, but it seemed as though they were glued to where they were. He squirmed in objection and looked back again; the image of the scene was quickly fading into whiteness. He returned his horrified gaze to the road before him. There was no road. The Impreza lurched forward as it continued to gather speed, shooting into the blank void that opened up before him. With nothing ahead and nothing behind the monster car, the speedometer needle wound past the one hundred and eighty kilometers per hour mark and kept going. It took all the effort in the world for Takumi to hold the steering wheel straight. With only white space surrounding him, he could not tell how fast he was going, the speedometer could no longer be trusted and the noise of the engine drowned out any other thought or sound. Eventually, the hum of the engine became as constant as the fluttering beat of Takumi's heart as the Impreza continued into nothingness. Hours pasted by and the car never seemed to let up, there was a throbbing pain in both of his arms from holding the car straight. Even though he was in the drivers seat, it felt like he had absolutely no control over it.

After what seemed like an eternity, there was a slight pinching sensation in the palm of his hands; Takumi winced at this but did not dare to move his hands to check the cause of the feeling. The pain intensified until it clouded the driver's vision. Takumi doubled over in pain and released his grip on the wheel; at that moment the whiteness turned back into the normal landscape, he found himself at the top of the mountain pass. But there was nothing normal about it; all of the trees, the road, the sky, were in sepia tones. The car barreled down Mount Akina at an inhuman speed, while Takumi was regaining his senses. He looked up and gasped at the scenery flashing before him; in ten seconds flat the Impreza was at the bottom of the mountain and shooting into another white tunnel of nothingness. He noticed that his hands were not on the steering wheel and yet he was still sitting in the car in one piece. At that moment, the Impreza swerved and the whiteness was instantly replaced with the images of Mount Akina again but this time in stark black and white. Takumi couldn't react in time; he grabbed the twisting steering wheel and tried to keep in the middle of the lane. Controlling the Impreza while moving at a high rate of speed proved to be impossible, the guardrail entered his field of vision and quickly closed in on him. The whisper of the tires spinning in the warm morning air was followed by the screech of metal imploding upon itself, glass shattering, and the blood curdling scream of the driver who was trapped within the whirlpool of destruction.

"TAKUMI! WAKE UP! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? IT IS THREE IN THE AFTERNOON! YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING FOR OVER TWELVE HOURS NOW; WE CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU FOREVER!"

Takumi sat up so suddenly he managed to head-butt Kenta resulting in a pounding sensation that reverberated in his skull. Staggering backwards away from the mess of blankets was Takumi’s futon and landing squarely on his butt; Kenta rubbed his forehead vigorously, "GOD DAMN IT TAKUMI! THAT HURT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?"

"Ow… Jeez Kenta, you didn't have to hover over me while I was asleep. That's really creepy you know." Takumi looked around the room, the window was open and a warm summer breeze was coming in through and filling the area with the scent of the ocean and food. His stomach grumbled in protest, he tried to quell the sound by placing a hand over his gut but he couldn’t. He looked down at himself and his futon and gasped. He was tangled in the middle of the blankets and some of the sheets were wrapped around his left arm constricting his movement. He quickly unwound the sheets and disengaged himself from the rest of the blankets before getting up and looking at his teammate. "What was I doing? How did I get tangled up in all my blankets like that?"

Kenta was still rubbing his forehead as he pushed himself off the ground and stood to face the downhill ace of Project D. "I don't know exactly, Ryosuke just sent me here to wake you up. We were worried that something happened to you when you didn't come down to brunch. But when I came in you were mumbling in your sleep and squirming around. Did you have a bad dream or something?"

Takumi scratched the back of his head right hand and noticed that his hair was in knots and tangles. "Yeah, I guess you can call it that. But it all seemed so real. I mean, I was driving my dad's Impreza and then…" He stopped in his tracks, afraid to tell Kenta more; fearing that he would be ridiculed for thinking that such an absurd dream was a reality. "Yeah, you don't want to hear any more of it. It's actually really boring… Do we still have food? I'm starving."

Kenta glowered before replying, "Takumi. Its three o'clock right now. You know when we were supposed to be up and out? Noon. We need to move out now and meet up with someone else that Perry has scheduled a race with." Takumi gawked, but before he found the words to reply; Kenta ran around and started pushing him towards the door, grunting under his breath "Tak-u-mi… You. Stupid. Fat. Cow. MOVE!" With one final shove Takumi stepped forward and turned to look at Kenta while he fell forward into the pile of blankets. "GOD DAMN IT TAKUMI! JUST GO! YOU CAN EAT IN THE CAR! MATSUMOTO WILL BE DRIVING THEN!" Quickly pushing himself off the ground again, Kenta straightened himself out and left the room.

Takumi snickered as he slowly followed Kenta's lead out of the room, down the stairs and into the kitchen. Everyone was bustling around as they were getting things ready for what seemed to a long road trip but all movement ceased as the last member of Project D walked into the room. Keisuke stopped walking in mid-step, with one foot out the door he looked over his shoulder at his fellow driver, "Hey Takumi, what took you so long to get up?" Takumi was bombarded with similar questions from the rest of the team; he looked down at the smooth tiled floor and replied quietly, "Sorry everyone, I slept in…"

Ryosuke looked at the driver hastily before picking up another box of food and supplies that was destined for one of the support vans. Handing it to Fumihiro, Ryosuke quickly said, "Its fine Takumi, anyways you still seem tired. Relax for a bit and we'll take care of everything. Matsumoto will be driving the 86 since you still look exhausted, but Perry has also offered to give you a ride. So the choice is yours."

Takumi nodded and walked out of the kitchen to give everyone working some space. Finding his way to the high ceilinged living room he seated himself on the edge of an extravagant sofa. Deep in thought over the bizarre dream that he just had. His father's blank expression as he disappeared under the one thousand, five hundred kilogram vehicle was an image that was burned into the back of his mind. Wishing to rid himself of these thoughts, Takumi buried his face in his hands and sighed. He was so absorbed in thought, he didn't notice Perry walking in and sitting down in the reader chair across from the marble coffee table. Takumi looked up for a moment and saw that he was in the presence of another, embarrassed to be seen in a state like this he looked down at his hands and quietly whispered, "Hello Perry."

Perry smiled and got up from the leather chair and walked up to Takumi. At this point in time the boy had no other choice but to look at the man who stood a meter away from him. Glancing up from his hands he saw that Perry was holding a mug of tea and a plate of toast and Nutella. Perry took a few more steps forward and handed the plates to the hungry boy who eagerly took them away. Looking around awkwardly Perry took a step to the side and motioned to a space on the couch, "May I sit here?"

Eyeing the hazelnut spread with a hint of doubt, Takumi nodded. Perry took his seat and cleared his throat. "Hello Takumi. Thank you for the race last night. I hope you had as much fun as I did. Anyways, I was worried since you didn't wake up in time for brunch this morning. I'm sorry but everyone ate everything else. This is all I have left. I hope its ok."

Takumi nodded again and picked up a second piece of toast. It was obvious that the boy was hungry; the way he ate was a dead giveaway. Perry smiled again and got up to leave, Takumi turned to look at him. "Thanks for the food Perry, I think I'll ride with you today. I want to sit in the car that beat me last night. I need to learn some things about your car before I call a rematch."

"Sure thing. I'll tell Ryosuke and the others then."

Within the hour, the bustling in the kitchen migrated to the driveway where all the cars were parked. At five o'clock, the sun hung at a midpoint in the sky--neither high or low--but it was definitely hot; with no sources of accessible shade everyone was trying to finish their preparations quickly so they could retreat into their air conditioned cars. The mechanics were checking for any sign of malfunctions or maintenance problems that needed to be attended to, Kenta and Fumihiro were scrambling around collecting the last minute items, both of the Takahashi brothers were in deep conversation, and Takumi stood in front of the silver Corolla examining it with great interest. A few minutes later, Perry strode out of his house locking the door behind him. The sound of the front door closing was audible enough for everyone to stop what they were doing and look at the source of the noise. Perry strode down the driveway and towards his car, with a click the doors opened and Perry slid into the drivers seat. Takumi nodded at the rest of Project D and got into the passenger seat. Everyone else did the same; one by one, the sound of engines coming to life rang out into the warm afternoon air. The silver Corolla rolled out of the driveway followed the white FC, yellow FD, panda 86, and the two white support vans.


~Chapter 5: Thaw Out~

The evening city lights were a blur behind the windshield of the Corolla as it drove through the highways and out of the city, soon the speed limit was lifted and Perry pressed down on the gas a little more. The car revved in response and sped forward as the road leveled out to gentle slopping planes and wide open stretches of sand and dirt. Takumi looked bored as he sat in the front seat, pondering at nothing in particular. In reality, he was looking at all the movements that the driver made, the shifting points for all the gears and the readings on the gauges when shifts were made. But driving on a straight road offered very little challenge; going at a constant rate of speed quickly bored Takumi into a state of unintended stupor. The boy struggled to stay awake fighting in vain by looking around for something interesting on the barren horizon to focus on but soon nodded himself to sleep setting his head against the seat and closing his eyes. Perry looked over and noticed his passenger sleeping; he shook his head and returned his gaze to the road. Wondering if a rest stop was needed he checked his rear view mirror, the Takahashi brothers and the rest of Project D were not too far behind; although it looked as though the FC wanted to sprint down the wide open road with the FD following. Moving one lane over Perry let the two cars go; with a deafening roar that woke Takumi up, the FC blasted past the Corolla like white lightning. It was followed the yellow streak of Keisuke's FD. Together, the two brothers raced through the empty highway weaving in and out of each other's way; waltzing to the sound of their exhaust.

Perry heaved a sigh, what if those two were caught for speeding by the police? Perry had no chance in hell of sweet talking his way out of a situation like that; he glanced at Takumi again noticing that he was gawking at the two RX-7s ahead of him. Clearing his throat to get Takumi's attention, "Hey Takumi, what are the chances of those two getting pulled over for speeding? They're going almost double the legal speed limit. I may have a lot of connections, but I do not have the power revoke speeding tickets."

"Well, Ryosuke and Keisuke have been racing for a really long time and I've never seen him pulled over for any traffic violation. I think those two have amazing luck at avoiding the authorities… You shouldn't worry, Ryosuke never makes bad decisions." Looking at the shrinking tail lights of the two cars Takumi added, "Shouldn't you catch up with those two?"

Pressing the Cruise Control button on the console, Perry relaxed; sitting a little father back in the seat. The opposite answer that Takumi expected; for the second time in less than ten minutes, Takumi was caught staring at something. Perry shook his head and chuckled, "Why would I be in a rush to catch up with those two? Let them have their fun Takumi; if you say that they've never been caught for speeding then I believe you. Anyways, they know where to go. If they get there first, then more power to them."

Takumi stared ahead as the FC's taillights dipped under a gentle hill, disappearing from his view. Confused, he turned to ask more questions. Before the words even formed in his head, Perry started explaining himself. "Remember that you woke up at three in the afternoon Takumi. Everyone else woke up at ten o'clock sharp to get everything and ready for this trip. During that time I made brunch and debriefed the rest of the team on the plans for today. Originally, we were supposed to meet another one of my friends in the canyons north of the city during the afternoon for a photo shoot. So around…" Perry was looking for the exact time of their planned departure, screwing his face around in concentration before settling on a rough estimate. "Mmmmm, I'd say three thirtyish. Right about the time when you woke up. But we were not ready and Kenta was still trying to get you out of bed."

Starting to feel bad for holding his team back, Takumi shifted around in the seat and asked more questions. "Sorry again that I slept in so much. I'm guessing that I have a terrible case of jet lag or something… When are we getting there? It feels as though we've been driving for hours. I need to get out and stretch my legs."

"Maybe… Anyways, it's no big deal. He called me before we left telling me that his car wasn't going to be back from the garage until six tonight so he wasn't ready either. So it'll be dark when we get there. I don't know exactly who he wants to race, but I'm sure that there will be something going on tonight. That's why Ryosuke was hesitant to wake you up earlier. He knows that both you and Keisuke need to be well rested to drive at your full potentials. Anyways, we should be coming up to the end of the highway shortly. We're almost there." Looking sideways at Takumi, the driver gasped. Suddenly realizing something, Perry slowly uttered his deepest, darkest concerns. "Takumi. Did you take a shower when you woke up this morning?"

Perry's wide eyed stare was met with suppressed snickering from the passenger. Takumi burst out laughing, "Of course I did Perry! I would never sit in a car with dirty clothes! What do you take me for? Some filthy barbarian? I even told you that I was going to take a little longer because I was going to take a quick rinse and change my clothes." After Takumi regained his composure he added, "You really care about your car huh?"

"Of course I do. My Corolla is my baby. Don't you care about your 86?"

Takumi nodded and looked at the road ahead through the windshield, a lonely green sign covered in dust stated that the highway was about to end in a little bit and that the lanes from another local road were about to merge together. Perry pushed the clutch and shifted the car out of cruise control and pressed onward. Straining his eyes and ears, Takumi could not see or hear the two cars that sped away from them moments before. Looking behind him, he noticed the headlights of his 86 a few meters back, he waved to Matsumoto who answered with a flash of the high beams. Returning his gaze to the road in front of him, he finally spotted the RX-7s and another car parked on the side of the road.

Perry let his foot off the gas and slipped the car into neutral, letting it cruise to a complete stop before the three cars that were already parked there. The rest of the caravan followed suit and a few minutes passed before everyone was out of their cars and done stretching. Looking at the car that was parked at the head of the group Takumi couldn't help but notice the unmistakable glow of a new car. Its sleek design and aggressive look distinguished it from the other vehicles; making his 86 look like an outdated HotWheels toy with its curves and causing Keisuke's FD to appear a little girly with its impressive profile.

Quite a distance away from the pack of cars Keisuke and a man were enjoying a smoke together. Takumi could only assume that the guy that his fellow teammate was talking to was the owner of the car. Breaking away from Perry and the rest of Project D, Takumi wandered over to the two men stopping a few meters away making sure he wasn't interrupting a private conversation. The man took one more long drag from his cigarette before flicking it into the sand and stomping it out; looking up he noticed the Takumi and exhaled, the smoke creating a haze in the still, dusty air. "So you're Takumi huh? I'm heard a lot about you from your friend here Keisuke. Undefeated until your arrival to the US, and defeated at the hands of Perry no less. Interesting…" In less than six strides, the man cleared the distance between them. Extending a hand he introduced himself. "Brent. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Takumi looked at the person who stood before him. Brent was around Keisuke's age but obviously taller and more broadly built than his teammate. In the evening sun, it was easy to see that Brent one of those classy types; wearing a pair of freshly pressed slacks and a dress shirt. In the hot summer evening, he donned a pair of Oakley sunglasses and rolled up his sleeves showing off his well-toned arms. Takumi's eyes followed the fierce dragon tattoo that wound up his right arm; colored in fantastic tones of green and blue on the backdrop of a stormy sea, Takumi instantly realized that it was a tattoo sleeve of Ryujin, the water dragon mentioned in ancient Japanese lore. Takumi turned his gaze upward and nodded, shaking hands with this new person. "Takumi…"

Taking a step back and motioning Keisuke to rejoin the conversation Brent spoke, "Saw you looking at my car. It's nice huh? The new FR-S, just came out this year. It's the spiritual successor to your 86." Smiling at himself he continued. "It's bone stock at the moment though, so I have yet to do anything to it. But don't worry; I have some big things lined up. It's going to be a beast when I'm done with it... Anyways, what took you so long to get here? I thought you were going to come in your 86 with Keisuke and Ryosuke."

Takumi looked at the car Brent spoke so fondly about. Spiritual successor to the 86? How was that possible if the two cars looked so different? In the evening sun, the FR-S looked like a diamond in the sand; its powerful silver chassis attractively bending the dying rays of sunlight. It stood out from the rest of the cars parked around it causing them all to look old and tacky. Takumi broke his gaze from the group of cars and answered Brent’s question, "Oh yeah… I was too tired to drive here so I got a ride from Perry. Matsumoto drove the 86 here."

Brent eyed the young driver with suspicion. "Too tired to drive? Keisuke told me that you had well over twelve hours of sleep last night! I call bullshit."

Takumi glared at Keisuke, who smiled back silently and shrugged. Why did Keisuke have to let this new guy know everything? "I don't exactly how it happened, but I woke up absolutely exhausted today. Anyways, what are we doing out here?"

"Wait. Keisuke didn't tell you? I thought everyone knew what was going on tonight. Or did you sleep through the debriefing too?"

Takumi was starting to get irritated by the new guy. Keisuke saw this and finally stepped into the conversation. He walked up to Brent and spoke, "Hey man, don't be so hard on the kid. He said he was tired. Can't you leave it at that?"

Brent shrugged, turning away and taking another cigarette from his pocket, lit it and placed it in his mouth. "Whatever, as long as he is ready to race me once I'm finished beating you Keisuke." As he finished his sentence he strolled back to the cars and started talking to Perry and the others, leaving Keisuke and Takumi standing alone in a bare patch of dirt.

After a few minutes of listening to the crickets chirp, Takumi looked at his teammate and spoke again. "Keisuke, who the hell does Brent think he is?"

"Some guy who thinks he can beat us." Spat Keisuke as he started walking towards the group of cars, determined to get answers from the guy in charge.

Posted by: DownhillFR-S Mar 27 2012, 05:15 PM
I ROR'D SO HARD

Posted by: Meteor Mar 29 2012, 04:33 PM
QUOTE
Be sure to write me a full review when you get the time. I need your expertise on this topic.

I'll try to get around to it.

Man, fictional me is so mysterious. Also, he sounds slightly unlike me, but is quite an entertaining character so far laugh.gif

Onto the actual story. The convo starting off chapter 3 got this entire update off to a good start. The dialogue was fun to read and the small touches in between (Perry's laughter, him getting up to close the door, the messages that eventually appear on his screen, the brief and non-intrusive exposition about him having a secretary, all the small actions such as clacking away at a keyboard while continuing the call through speakerphone, etc.) made this scene very easy to visualize. Perry's meeting with Keisuke was good too. His initial apprehension felt very real, the descriptions of how the conversation started smoothly changed the mood of the scene, the mention of getting the manor prepared and what it took to bring Project D there added to the believability (is that a word?) of the story and the mention of something planned for tomorrow adds to the sense of plot-development happening. And because I'm likely to end up writing a very repetitive post if I keep trying (and perhaps failing) to mention all the decent dialogue and good descriptions for this chapter (and also because it was already 6:00 AM before I did a little rewriting here), I'll just say all the scenes in this chapter featured good writing.

(Though Ryousuke briefly noting Keisuke's good looks did feel a little out of place in this situation. But again, no big deal.)

Two typos I found:
QUOTE
“Hello Meteor, it's been a while since you’ve called me like this. Where did you hear about the race? I thought it a secret from everyone else.”

Should be "it's".
QUOTE
I wouldn't be surprised of everyone knew what was going on by the end of the month, so be prepared for a mess of inquiries and phone calls from everyone in the upcoming days.

Should be "have".

And it's now 6:31 AM. I guess I'll try to catch up on my sleep and edit in the rest of this review later. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the upcoming chapters smile.gif

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Mar 29 2012, 07:26 PM
I know this update is a little soon, but I just finished another chapter and I can't wait for the other chapters to finish before I post it up! So this update will be small (only one chapter). If you guys think I should resume posting up three chapters at a time again then just tell me! I need more feedback from other people too; so if you're reading this and you have something to say, then post!

I know I have a lot of mistakes so feel free to point them out to me I promise not to take offense unless you're being rude about it! And thank you for pointing out those typos Meteor! I've fixed them so they should be better now. And I'll continue to fix any grammar or spelling mistakes that I see. Anyways, on to my feedback on your feedback! happy.gif

QUOTE (Downhill280Z)
I ROR'D SO HARD

I LOL'd pretty hard too. I'm not going to lie, but I'm having fun while writing this. laugh2.gif

QUOTE (Meteor)
I'll try to get around to it.

Man, fictional me is so mysterious. Also, he sounds slightly unlike me, but is quite an entertaining character so far laugh.gif

Onto the actual story. The convo starting off chapter 3 got this entire update off to a good start. The dialogue was fun to read and the small touches in between (Perry's laughter, him getting up to close the door, the messages that eventually appear on his screen, the brief and non-intrusive exposition about him having a secretary, all the small actions such as clacking away at a keyboard while continuing the call through speakerphone, etc.) made this scene very easy to  visualize. Perry's meeting with Keisuke was good too. His initial apprehension felt very real, the descriptions of how the conversation started smoothly changed the mood of the scene, the mention of getting the manor prepared and what it took to bring Project D there added to the believability (is that a word?) of the story and the mention of something planned for tomorrow adds to the sense of plot-development happening. And because I'm likely to end up writing a very repetitive post if I keep trying (and perhaps failing) to mention all the decent dialogue and good descriptions for this chapter (and also because it was already 6:00 AM before I did a little rewriting here), I'll just say all the scenes in this chapter featured good writing.

(Though Ryousuke briefly noting Keisuke's good looks did feel a little out of place in this situation. But again, no big deal.)


And it's now 6:31 AM. I guess I'll try to catch up on my sleep and edit in the rest of this review later. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the upcoming chapters smile.gif

Would you rather have your character be really super boring? laugh.gif

Anyhow, I try to be as detailed as I can when I write. Sometimes I get really esoteric and random in my descriptions. I had to go through about three different drafts and revisions before I got to the level of detail that I wanted. But even then (as you could see from Ryosuke noticing that his younger brother is very handsome [which should be a given fact!]) some of the information that's still in there is really strange, and/or out of place.


With all that aside, I proudly present Chapter 6 of Beyond the Horizon.



~Chapter 6: Danger to the Manifold~

Keisuke's reply to his question did not surprise Takumi and yet, the younger driver lagged in his reaction. Trotting to keep up with teammate he quickly added, "Keisuke! You can beat this guy right? He said his car is stock. It shouldn't be too hard."

As suddenly as he started, Keisuke stopped walking and turned around; causing Takumi to run into him. "Hey, what was that for Keisuke? Didn't you say that you wanted to…?" He looked at his fellow driver and noticed the apprehension that was drawn on his teammate's face. "Keisuke? Are you alright?"

Staring blankly into the quickly darkening sky he replied, "I'm fine Takumi. But tell me first… Was racing Perry hard?"

"… What are you talking about?"

"TELL ME! WAS RACING PERRY LAST NIGHT CHALLENGING?" As if repeating his question in a louder tone would help Takumi understand.

"Um… I guess you can say it was hard. Remember that there was so much fog last night I couldn't see where I was going. Now if I was stupid--which I'm not--then I would have pushed myself to the limit and I wouldn't be here right now. I would have won the race but ended up in the hospital or worse, the morgue…"

Keisuke wasn't satisfied with this answer. "So you could have won if you trusted yourself more?"

"If you want to put it in simpler terms. Then yes." Takumi looked at the older driver with a hint of suspicion. Was Keisuke finally going crazy?

"Okay. Now tell me, do you think I can beat the Brent character?"

"Depends, do you think YOU can?" Answering Keisuke's question with another question.

"I really don't know…"

Takumi was taken back, Keisuke was usually very confident in his skills. To the point where he would brag to anyone and everyone who was unfortunate to be caught in his line of sight. Takumi tried to reassure him, "Hey. What are you saying? You're starting to sound like me when I first started racing."

"I know. I'm probably being silly, but look at his car Takumi!" Pointing to the silhouette of the FR-S against the light purple sky. "Do you think I can beat that? It's one of the newest models of cars available on the market. It's less than a year old! Now look at my car!" Swinging his arm to the FD that appeared orange in the late twilight. "The damn thing is over twenty years old! I'm surprised it still runs. How do I have a chance of beating that beast in my toy car?!?" Keisuke raised his hands to his temples and made a motion of something gliding away from him. Takumi could only guess that was the symbolic representation of his chances of winning flying through the window.

"… Keisuke, you're overreacting. You'll do fine. He said his car was bone stock; he hasn't modified it at all. I'm sure that you two will be evenly matched."

"I'M NOT OVERREACTING!" Keisuke was on the verge of insanity.

"Well then, get over there and see what's happening. Get into your FD and beat the crap out of that FR-S. Show everyone that you have the skills to defeat these newer cars. Succeed where I have failed!" Takumi figured that the best way of consoling the nervous driver would be to provoke him into his old ways. Offering the chance of winning Ryosuke's approval was more than enough to snap Keisuke out of his panic attack.

"YOU'RE RIGHT! I need to get over there and win this race. Just watch me Takumi! I'll show you how it's done!" With a renewed look of determination, Keisuke turned and confidently strode towards his car. Takumi smiled at the success of his plan and started following his teammate.

Perry noticed the return of the two drivers, looking up from his cellphone he waved at them. "Hey Takumi! Keisuke! I need to have a word with you two before we get started!"

Changing his direction and jogging up to Perry who stood alone next to his Corolla, Keisuke inquired as Takumi caught up, "What's up Perry? Are you going to be the one debriefing us? Where is my brother?"

Perry pocketed his phone and nodded, noticing how dark it was getting he turned and stepped into his car. With the key in the ignition, he clicked the headlights on; a soft off-white light illuminated the area in front of the car causing the sand to glitter. "Ryosuke and the others are off scouting the location of the race as we speak."

Suddenly Takumi noticed the absence of the support vans and Ryosuke's FC. Looking around he only saw his 86, Keisuke's FD, the Corolla, and Brent's FR-S parked on the side of the road. Keisuke nodded, "Sounds good. So when are we going to meet up with them to start this race?"

"As soon as I'm done debriefing you. Brent already knows what's happening and I just got a phone call from your brother. We will leave as soon as you guys know what’s happening."

"Well then… What are you waiting for?" Takumi’s and Keisuke’s reply at the same time. They glanced at each other and laughed at the clairvoyance they had for that spilt second.

Perry smiled and started his explanation, "Ok. I've talked to both Brent and Ryosuke and we came up with this race set up. It's going to be the standard race, much like your previous expeditions. One uphill, one downhill run, starting side by side for the first run, then cat and mouse—you already know the rules. And after that we will have time trials. Brent is the current record holder for this course, so both of you will have a chance to take on his record. Here's the catch, to win the race you have to pass the lead car and finish with a two second time difference. Don't ask me why two seconds, Brent made that rule up. Ryosuke believes both of you can do this so whenever you're ready."

Without a word, Keisuke walked past Perry and got into his FD. Starting the engine he stuck his head out the window. Yelling over the sound of the engine, 'Hurry up! We don't have all night you know!"

Brent noticed that the three were finished talking, threw his last cigarette into the dirt and walked to his car. He pressed a button on his keys and the car instantly responded with a rev of the engine as it came alive, quickly getting in and revving it a few more times to get warmed up. Perry slid into his waiting Corolla and turned the key one more click, the car responded with the start of the engine. Takumi walked to his 86 and climbed in, checking if Matsumoto misplaced anything or changed any of the settings while he was away. It felt good to be sitting in the driver's seat again; Takumi smiled as he turned the key and felt the power surge through the little machine as the car revived itself. The four cars pulled off of the sandy pitch and started for the dark cliffs that loomed on the horizon.

Fifteen minutes later at the top of one of the sheer cliffs, Takumi sat on the hood of his 86 eating a cold sandwich that the others packed from Perry's house. Looking at the direction they came from he saw the faint glow of the city spread on the edge of the earth. A little bubble of light pollution covered the tall buildings that poked from the otherwise smooth horizon. Turning his gaze towards the pitch black sky, he saw the stars; the three stars marking Orion’s belt glittered like diamonds against dark velvet, looking around he noticed that the placements of the constellations were different from the ones seen in Japan. Takumi continued to watch the sky silently until the sound of footsteps broke his trance. Sliding off of his perch, he saw Ryosuke approaching. "Takumi, are you feeling better? We're just about ready to start the uphill portion if you want to watch Keisuke start… Actually you don't have a choice," He looked at the driver and smirked, shrugging and nodding his head. "Keisuke personally asked me to make sure that you saw and heard the entirety of this race."

Complying with Keisuke's request Takumi started following the leader of Project D to the finish line. Matsumoto was waiting for both of them with a radio in hand, once he caught sight of the two he spoke. "Fumihiro, you can start now. We're ready up here."

The radio initially replied with static and then Fumihiro's voice announced into the night, "Sounds good. Kenta, you can start the count down."

From the darkness below the disembodied voice of Kenta rang out. "RACERS ON YOUR MARK!" The two cars roared in response. "5… 4… 3… 2… 1…" Takumi's stomach tied itself into a knot from the tension in the air. "ZERO! GO KEISUKE! GO!"

The cool night air shook with the sound of the two cars shooting off into the night. Fumihiro called through the radio, "Keisuke’s taken the lead! Maybe he'll finish this in one round!"

The knot in Takumi's gut grew tighter.



Oh!~ I left off on a cliffhanger! What will happen next!? I'll try to get more chapters up as soon as I can guys! Thank you for reading! smile.gif

Posted by: Meteor Mar 30 2012, 04:25 PM
Keisuke worrying about having to race against a much newer car didn't actually feel all that right to me. (Assuming you based it off Keisuke's thoughts during his first run-in with the Eight-Six) Remember, the main reason he was so hung up on having lost to an Eight-Six wasn't because it was a car from the 80s, but because it was a slow car that still easily won against his significantly faster car. Newer cars can be better than older cars, but a stock FR-S isn't a car that Keisuke should be so worried about. His FD has well over 400 hp now, whereas the FR-S was designed to be a relatively cheap car with good tuning potential and is not among the faster Japanese sports cars. Sure, his FD is over a decade old by now, but it's been maintained very well and still runs well. And Keisuke himself is a much better driver now. To be fair, his panic didn't last very long, but I found it weird that he overreacted to begin with in this situation.

Everything other than that was good though. All the other dialogue and the details accompanying it worked well and all the other descriptions made for some very vivid images. I want to see how this race goes smile.gif

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Mar 30 2012, 04:48 PM
QUOTE (Meteor)
Keisuke worrying about having to race against a much newer car didn't actually feel all that right to me. (Assuming you based it off Keisuke's thoughts during his first run-in with the Eight-Six) Remember, the main reason he was so hung up on having lost to an Eight-Six wasn't because it was a car from the 80s, but because it was a slow car that still easily won against his significantly faster car. Newer cars can be better than older cars, but a stock FR-S isn't a car that Keisuke should be so worried about. His FD has well over 400 hp now, whereas the FR-S was designed to be a relatively cheap car with good tuning potential and is not among the faster Japanese sports cars. Sure, his FD is over a decade old by now, but it's been maintained very well and still runs well. And Keisuke himself is a much better driver now. To be fair, his panic didn't last very long, but I found it weird that he overreacted to begin with in this situation.

Everything other than that was good though. All the other dialogue and the details accompanying it worked well and all the other descriptions made for some very vivid images. I want to see how this race goes smile.gif

Looking back at how I wrote that part, I see where you're coming from but remember that he watched his teammate lose at the hands of another car. At that rate, Keisuke was worried that driving in America is different from driving in Japan, as this is his first match in the states. His panic attack does seem a little out of character though... But, it didn't seem right for Keisuke to go into this race overconfident since Brent looks like such a formidable opponent... I guess in the end, I DID IT FOR THE SAKE OF THE PLOT! pinch2.gif

I'm going to hold off on releasing more chapters at this rate to review what I've written so far. Anyways, I'm sure that reading three plus chapters of my story takes a really long time, I'll slow down my update speed to spare everyone the pain. laugh2.gif

Posted by: JeremyGTS Apr 4 2012, 06:22 AM
Need more! lol Pretty good so far!

Posted by: Wanderer Apr 9 2012, 05:50 AM
You've hooked me with the chapters so far. Now I NEED to know how K.T's race goes! X|

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Apr 9 2012, 06:14 PM
Thank you for the kind words JeremyGTS and ATRUM_Neto! The little things like this motivate me to write more! Well, after a few nights of frantic writing I've come up with two more chapters to add on. The exciting conclusion of Keisuke's race against Brent's FR-S! Enjoy guys!



~Chapter 7: Swift and Sound~

The glare of the FR-S white headlights reflected off the rear view mirror of the FD as both cars rumbled up the canyon pass. Keisuke exhaled as he opened up the throttle, how long has it been since he was in his last serious race? His match against Go Hojo's NSX? That was the last uphill battle of Project D over a year ago. What about after Project D? There was no one good enough to take him on in a battle, except Takumi Fujiwara.

Takumi Fujiwara, one of the few people who were able to defeat both of the Takahashi brothers. Keisuke's defeat at the hands of the young driver was a lucky fluke at most, it would never happen again. He only lost because he was overconfident; he shook his head and continued to stare at the road illuminated by the glow of his headlights ahead of him. All he needed to do now was to call another match and beat Takumi in front of everyone else before moving onto the professional scene. Keisuke grinned at the prospect of having a rematch with rival. What were his chances of winning at this point in time? He's improved immensely since the conclusion of Project D, he was sure that Takumi also developed new skills and techniques. He wondered where to issue his rematch against his teammate… Snapping out of his thoughts, he downshifted and shot into the next turn with the FR-S following closely behind. Finally noticing the glare of the white LED headlights Keisuke swiped at his rear view mirror, it was annoying to have a white beam of light reflecting into his eyes. Glancing at his side view mirrors, he squinted again at the white beams. "What the heck? Those headlights are driving me crazy." Stomping on the gas, Keisuke continued the upward climb.

Two sets of headlights twinkled in dark canyon below; from his vantage point, Takumi could see everything that was happening in the valley and the thin narrow strip of asphalt that lead up to the surface of the cliff. He noticed that the headlights of the second car were a dazzling white color, looking over to his mechanic, "Matsumoto, what are those?" Pointing to the fast moving lights. "Why are those headlights so bright? I assume that it's really annoying for Keisuke."

Matsumoto followed Takumi's hand to the white lights and shook his head, "Those are LED headlights; apparently they're a really big thing in America. They provide more visibility to the driver while blinding anyone who is unfortunate enough to look at them. They're hard to ignore, but there is a way."

"How exactly do you ignore something that bright?"

"Simple, by ignoring your mirrors, the white light will actually help you by illuminating the path ahead."

Takumi nodded, taking a mental note so he could use the tip at a later time. Eight minutes later, the two cars arrived at the peak; the FR-S only meters away from the FD. Barreling to the end of the road and towards a lone traffic cone, Keisuke executed a well-controlled U-turn drift, reminiscent of his battle against Kozo Hoshino. Brent followed his lead and together they started on their descent to the starting line for round two. The smell of burning rubber filled the air and the road smoked with tire streaks. Perry stared at the traffic cone, obviously in a state of shock over the events that transpired in such a short amount of time. Ryosuke shook his head and called to the team at the starting line, "Fumihiro, they should be coming down in about ten minutes. The FR-S was only behind by about a second and a half. I have Matsumoto recording the times. Brent will be leading this next run."

The radio rang back in response, "Sounds good Ryosuke, can you tell me how the FD looks right now? We heard those tire screeches just right now. Is Keisuke being reckless again?"

Ryosuke laughed, "Hmph, Keisuke's just trying to show off his superiority. I thought he outgrew this phase. But apparently, old habits are hard to kill. Don’t worry about anything. The tires should hold till the race has been decided."

Perry stopped looking at the tire tracks long enough to see that Takumi was also looking at them. Striding over to the youngest member of the team, "I always knew that both of the drivers of Project D were capable of things like this, but I never imagined seeing it happen before my very eyes… That was amazing… Takumi, don't tell me that you can do things like this too…"

Takumi thought about it for a moment before replying, "I'm the downhill ace of Project D. Of course I can do things like this, but not to the extent of Keisuke's display just now…” Noticing the wide-eyed stare of Perry, he quickly asked, "Why do you ask Perry? Are you telling me that you can't do that?"

Perry didn't immediately answer. Instead he backed away from the driver and started looking at other things, his eyes darting quickly from one place to another. "Well actually… You see… I actually can't drift."

"What? Then how did you beat me last night? Don't tell me that it was pure luck!"

"I think it might have been… I mean, I drive that street home every single day to get to and from work. So it's no surprise that I know it like the back of my hand. I guess it's sort of like how you know everything about Mount Akina. You're unbeatable there, I'm unbeatable here."

Takumi continued to stare back at the other man, in utter disbelief. The words seemed to be caught in his throat; a few minutes passed before Takumi said, "You serious?"

"Yes…" Perry replied quietly, looking down at the dark street in shame.

"Well then, it looks like I won't be calling a rematch then!" Takumi laughed and clapped Perry on the back, knocking the air of him. "I'll just call you lucky then. Oh man, this will be a story to tell all the others. Or do they know already?"

"No one else knows yet. And to tell you the truth, I'm a very conservative driver. I'd never do anything as crazy as street racing again. I'll tell everyone else after this race; but for now, can we keep this a secret?"

Hearing the commotion, Ryosuke strode over to the two, "Why are you laughing Takumi? What do you find so funny?"

Perry exchanged a quick glance with younger driver and said, "Oh nothing Ryosuke. Takumi and I were just talking about something. How's the status of the race?"

Ryosuke stared at the two quizzically, "The race is going well. Based on the sounds that I hear in the canyon below, Keisuke is making moves to pass Brent. But we can't say anything for sure since we don't have people posted along the route. They should be up here in a few minutes, from there we will see."

Seeing that it was dangerous to be standing in the middle of the street while there was a street race occurring, the three moved off the road just in time. The roar of the rotary engine was heard as the FD streaked past the finish line; the yellow car performing donuts around the lone cone before the sound of the FR-S even was even heard over the burning of the tires. The powerful silver car slowly rolled into the finish line and stopped as soon as the FD finished its final loop around the marker a full six seconds after the official end of the race. The hum of engines died away as Keisuke and Brent simultaneously left their cars; walking up to meet Ryosuke and the others at the middle, Brent heaved a sigh. He took out another cigarette and lit it, looking at the man who defeated him. Takumi couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy for the guy. A moment of silence passed before Brent finally decided to break the ice, "That was one hell of a race Keisuke. I had a gut feeling that I wouldn't be able to take you on in my car… seeing the way it is right now. How about we have a rematch in a few months when I get my things together? If you're still here in a few months…" Brent nodded and extended a hand to the other uphill driver.

Keisuke smiled and shook his hand "I'll admit, you put up a good fight. Blocking me for the most part of that last run. You have the skills to dominate if your car wasn't stock. I'll take you up on that rematch. Just call a time and a place. I'll be there." Glancing sideways at his brother, Keisuke noticed that Ryosuke didn't object to his statement.

Brent was about to add to his previous statement before the radio sitting on the hood of Perry's Corolla interrupted him. "Perry, Ryosuke, Matsumoto, is the race over? What are the results?"

Matsumoto replied to the radio's inquiries "Yup. The race is over now, Keisuke won with a lead of six seconds. We should be starting the downhill run in about fifteen minutes. We'll radio you before we start."

The distant whooping and shouting of Kenta was heard from the darkness below. Keisuke shook his head. "That damn kid… I swear, he's my biggest fan and the most annoying person ever."

The cool night air was reverberated with the sound of laughter. Perry took a deep breath and resumed the conversation, "Well Brent, take a fifteen and prepare for the downhill; Takumi, you too. If any of you guys need anything, just ask me."

And with that, Perry and Ryosuke walked away discussing something in private. Brent went back to his car and leaned against the driver side door, enjoying his cigarette and texting someone on his phone. Takumi looked at his teammate "Keisuke, how exactly did you do that? A six second lead isn't easy to accomplish…"

Keisuke smiled as he looked at his rival. "Naw, it was as easy as cake! Remember you said his car was stock? That's the trick; it was no match against my FD. The difference in the power output of a stock FR-S and my modified FD is just too great. Ha, I guess I'll have to thank Tomiguchi later… Anyways, I had a feeling that Brent knew he had no chance in beating me, but he put up a good fight anyways. It kind of reminded me of the way you used to race back when you first started. You were always the underdog and yet you seemed to win…" Laughing at this lame comparison, he continued "But Brent didn't win this time. I feel bad for the guy, he has potential. I just hope I can race him again when our cars are more evenly matched."

Takumi nodded, understanding everything that his fellow driver said. He steeled his nerves for the race ahead; he knew the FR-S had amazing handling capabilities so he expected this downhill race to be a lot harder than Keisuke's bout. He was about to face off with the reincarnation of his 86, the thought made the little knot in his stomach grow again.


~Chapter 8: Premonition to Battle~

Shooting a glance at his next opponent, Takumi walked up to the new car; observing its fine details and the night sky that was faintly reflected off of the freshly waxed surface. Brent looked up from his phone and noticed the driver. "Hey kid, if you so much as scratch my car before our race starts. Then you can consider yourself a dead man."

Takumi jumped backwards from the sound of another person's voice, defending himself, "I wasn’t doing anything I swear! I was just looking at the nice paint job." Holding his hands in the air showing Brent that he had no malicious intent.

Brent smiled, "I'm just kidding Takumi. Relax. You just caught me at a bad time, that's all…" His face sullied and he returned his gaze to the phone.

"I guess I'll stop bothering you now since you seem busy…"

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing of the sort. I'm just texting another friend of mine. She has been nagging me the past couple of days and it's driving me nuts."

"You have a girlfriend?"

"Ha. She's not my girlfriend. I'm just talking to one of my friends who happens to be a girl. You might get to meet her later if you guys decide to hang out in the states for a little longer."

Suddenly finding himself in an awkward situation, the only thing Takumi managed to say was a skeptical "Hm…" Not knowing how to continue, he looked around and made to leave.

"Hey Takumi?" Brent pocketed his phone and was now looking at the young driver. "I didn't mean to be such a dick earlier… Can you tell Keisuke that I’m sorry?"

Takumi smiled "No hard feelings Brent. I'm sure that Keisuke understands too. But I'll tell him anyways if you want."

"Thanks kid." Brent walked away from his car to join the conversation with Perry and Ryosuke.

Walking back to Keisuke and his FD, Takumi noticed that the grips on the tires were worn bald. Keisuke stood looking at his rear tires, hands on his hips; he appeared to be silently scolding his ride. "Man that looks bad Keisuke. What are you going to do now? It looks like those tires aren't going to last much longer."

Keisuke looked at his teammate and ran a hand through his bleached hair. "I know. Damn, why did I have to do all those donuts? Looking back, it seems a little excessive now… What was I thinking?" It was easy to see that the victor was beating himself up over being so reckless.

"Well, maybe you should start heading down the Tomiguchi and the others then. Driving on things like this is dangerous. I'll tell Ryosuke and the others that you're going down the pass. Just be sure to be safe. Oh yeah, Brent says sorry. He didn't mean to be a dick."

His teammate smiled. "Ha, its fine. There's no need for Brent to apologize. He didn't do anything wrong." He let out a defeated sigh. "I really wanted to watch the start of this race, but I guess getting this tire problem sorted out is more important. I'll be heading down now, and don't worry. I'll be careful." He stepped into his car and drove off.

Takumi watched as the tail lights disappeared around the corner; he looked at the group of people starting at the FD as it departed, he walked to them and told them where Keisuke had gone. Ryosuke proceeded to radio the other group. "Fumihiro, Keisuke is coming down to get his tires replaced. He'll be there in about twelve minutes; his tires are really worn down so he's taking it easy."

Fumihiro was heard from the radio, "I knew it! Keisuke was being reckless! Anyways, we'll be waiting for him now. Don't start the downhill portion until you hear back from us."

"Keisuke wasn’t being reckless Fumihiro, he was just showing off after the race. Why he wasted all of the grip on his tires is beyond me. You can ask him when he gets down there. For now, we will be waiting on your word to start the race."

Setting down the radio, Ryosuke rejoined the conversation. "I was thinking that we should stay in the states for a little while longer if this event that you're planning is coming up. I haven't been on a proper vacation in years." Ryosuke smiled.

Takumi looked puzzled; Perry stepped in to explain. "I'm planning an event in Southern California in about a month. There I'll be meeting a few more friends; you guys might have the chance for more races there too. There are a lot of mountain passes in the area. So you are free to stay at my place for as long as you want."

"Uhhhhh… Have we talked to the others about this yet?" Takumi looked shocked.

"Not yet. I have plans to make all of my announcements after the race between you and Brent is over."

Takumi looked again at his opponent. Brent seemed bored by the proceedings, glancing at his phone and rapidly replying to a text before looking up to check his surroundings and repeating the process. After a few awkward minutes of silence, the rhythmic sound of Brent's cellphone keeping time, the radio sounded off. "Hey bro, Tomiguchi and the others are getting the tires on my car replaced at the moment. That means we're ready for you, so start whenever you feel like it."

Ryosuke replied, "Sounds good Keisuke, we'll start right now." Takumi and Brent nodded and walked off to their cars. The headlights of the little panda 86 flipped up and illuminated a little patch of street; while the bright white lights of the FR-S reached out into the darkness, dispelling all the shadows it touched. Matsumoto stood in front of the two cars, taking care not to stare directly into the LED lamps that flooded the world with light.

"RACERS READY!" The two cars rumbled in response, the FR-S completely drowning out the sound of the 86. "5… 4… 3… 2… 1…" Takumi's grip on the steering wheel tightened, all of this was really happening.

"ZERO!" Takumi slammed on the gas pedal and shot forward, Brent mirrored his opponent's movements and together, the two cars sped into the night.



I keep ending on cliff hangers! Have I left you on the edge of your seat yet? Stay tuned for the next set of chapters! Thanks for reading! Your comments are what motivate me to write (no joke), so keep posting your thoughts and opinions. I appreciate them! biggrin.gif

Posted by: JeremyGTS Apr 11 2012, 01:57 PM
That was a big shock that Perry cant drift... I kind of figured since hes in a FWD car. Cant wait to get the explaination on how he beat Takumi.


Posted by: Meteor Apr 15 2012, 04:35 PM
Great updates again. The thoughts running through Keisuke's mind early in the race all felt in-character, the factor of the bright LCD headlights made things a little interesting and although this was an easy win for Keisuke, you wrote an enjoyable race out of it. Keisuke U-turn drift and victory donuts were easy (and fun) to visualize. He must've been in a really good mood when he reached the finish line.

Didn't expect that Perry can't do drifts. Liked the conversation between him and Takumi (and also the bit where Ryousuke asks them what they're laughing about).

Just one thing that seems to need rewriting:
QUOTE
Brent heaved a sigh. He took out another cigarette and lit it, looking at the man who defeated him. Takumi couldn't help but notice a twinge of sympathy for the guy.

Shouldn't "notice" be "feel" in this case? Or was he noticing other people's sympathy towards Brent or something like that?

Brent's reaction to his loss felt realistic. Character interaction between him and Keisuke was good too and the small detail of Keisuke glancing at Ryousuke to see if he'd object to Keisuke welcoming a rematch at anytime was yet another example of good writing in this fic.

And that Kenta never changes, does he? laugh.gif

In Chapter 8, you show more good writing through the way Brent and Takumi talk with each other and how Brent feels about what he said pre-race. The natural consequences of Keisuke's power-over victory celebrations help ground the story to reality, the event that Perry's planning makes me look forward to seeing that part of the story and I want to see how the last race of this night goes.

As usual, more chapters plz. Story's getting even better and you're getting more readers too.

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Apr 19 2012, 11:37 AM
Thank you, JeremyGTS and Meteor for the kind words! I was hoping for more replies before I posted up the next chapter, but rereading where I left off--right at the start of the Takumi vs Brent. You guys probably want an update right now. Well I can't keep my loyal readers waiting can I? I was waiting for Perry's response to the fact that his character can't drift, but he took too long... So here is the match between the AE86 and the FR-S! First I have to give my feedback on Meteor's feedback. pinch2.gif

QUOTE (Meteor)
Great updates again. The thoughts running through Keisuke's mind early in the race all felt in-character, the factor of the bright LED headlights made things a little interesting and although this was an easy win for Keisuke, you wrote an enjoyable race out of it. Keisuke U-turn drift and victory donuts were easy (and fun) to visualize. He must've been in a really good mood when he reached the finish line.

Didn't expect that Perry can't do drifts. Liked the conversation between him and Takumi (and also the bit where Ryousuke asks them what they're laughing about).

Brent's reaction to his loss felt realistic. Character interaction between him and Keisuke was good too and the small detail of Keisuke glancing at Ryousuke to see if he'd object to Keisuke welcoming a rematch at anytime was yet another example of good writing in this fic.

And that Kenta never changes, does he? 

In Chapter 8, you show more good writing through the way Brent and Takumi talk with each other and how Brent feels about what he said pre-race. The natural consequences of Keisuke's power-over victory celebrations help ground the story to reality, the event that Perry's planning makes me look forward to seeing that part of the story and I want to see how the last race of this night goes.

As usual, more chapters plz. Story's getting even better and you're getting more readers too.

Thanks for all the praise Meteor! When I read my work, I always think that the dialogues that I write are always lacking in something. But maybe I'm my harshest critic. Fumihiro, Matsumoto, Tomiguchi, and Kenta don't have a really big spotlight in the anime or the manga so I'm taking the liberty to expand on their characters in my story. Hopefully its working out. There is a delicate balance though, and its hard making sure that all the characters are in-character, but its really awesome seeing how everything falls into place once everything is said and done. I'm really happy how that Kenta part turned out and I add a little more to it in this chapter.


Now I proudly present to you Chapter 9 of Beyond the Horizon. Takumi's race against the 86's reincarnation. The FR-S. Enjoy guys! biggrin.gif



~Chapter 9: Spirited Away~

By the end of the first straightaway the FR-S had a sizable lead; it was obvious that Brent knew what he was doing as he sped into the first corner. Takumi slammed on the gas in an effort to keep up. Through the first couple of turns, Brent drifted. The tires on the FR-S squealed as they went around the corners, the hot brake calipers flashed red as the car swung sideways. The FR-S flew through the straightaways with the little 86 following closely behind. Through the canyon road, the FR-S led its predecessor in a hot pursuit; both of the cars drifting through each turn with reckless abandon. They moved in synchronicity, the only thing that differed between them was the fact that Brent's braking line was milliseconds earlier than Takumi's. The young driver used that to his advantage and by observing the car ahead of him, he was able to catch up to the FR-S. Takumi was all out, every ounce of his concentration on driving and the road ahead of him, by the fifth turn he was glued to the bumper of the FR-S.

Moving in tandem, the little 86 and its reincarnation drifted around the bend, the front of the 86 mere centimeters away from the FR-S. Both of the cars shot out of the turn and continued speeding down the course quickly moving into the s-turn section. Brent smiled as he saw the reflection of the 86's headlights weave in and out of his rear view mirror; he had a feeling that winning this race was impossible in his stock FR-S--he saw that in his match against Keisuke's FD--but he had to put up a fight. It wasn't about winning anymore; it was about proving himself worthy for a rematch with the legendary racing duo. Drifting into the next corner he felt more at ease with his revelation, winning no longer mattered to him as long as he gave this race his best shot.

The tachometer on the 86 reached the shifting point before Takumi moved the car into the next gear; the little car lurched forward and sped after the FR-S. Aided by the gentle slope, the car gained a tremendous amount of speed as it turned into the upcoming corners, further closing the gap between the two driving machines. Takumi grinned at the progress that he was making. Following Brent's game, he continued to drift through the turns. As they shot down the street, the hum of the engines provided the beat to their waltz. He watched as the FR-S ahead of him held its ground as though its tires were made of glue, they slid out from under the car at the right time touching the apex of the turn with the skill of a well-trained surgeon; Takumi had to admit, his opponent's car had amazing handling capabilities.

As the road continued down the cliffs, the cars continued their descent twisting about the s-turns and shooting through the straights like two winding snakes entangled in an endless battle. Takumi strained his eyes looking for an opportunity to pass the car, but it seemed as though Brent knew what to expect. He covered the entirety of the small street with his car, creating an impenetrable blockade. Since this was Brent’s home course, he knew exactly where and when to block. A sudden realization dawned upon the young driver; Brent was prolonging the battle to a second round. A round where Brent would be able to follow and observe whatever Takumi did, a round where he would have to deal with those bright LED headlights. The knot in his stomach tensed up again as he continued to barrel down the street following the 86's successor, he just had to finish this race in one round or suffer leading the next round half blinded by the white headlights. Takumi’s grip on the steering wheel tightened as he prepared for the next section of high speed turns.

Takumi watched the FR-S dance around the corners. He was lost in its trance; caught up in the sound of both of the engines as they worked their way down the canyon pass. The line being drawn was perfect in every way possible; there was no way of getting around it. He followed the silver car ahead as it led the way to the finish line unable to break away from the line it took. Corner after corner, the car ahead of him blocked the path forward. Frustrated, Takumi pulled his eyes away from the FR-S and looked at the road ahead. The gentle slope was gone and there wasn't much left to the course. Now was the time to get desperate.

Surveying the course ahead, he noticed a slight change in the FR-S; Brent stopped drifting causing the outside line to open up. Taking another quick glance at the road ahead of him, the next turn was a high speed right turn. For some reason, Brent moved to the right opening a thin line to the left. The FR-S stopped blocking and uncharacteristically concentrated on one shoulder of the road, looking to the right of his opponent's car he saw it. There was a thin gutter on the right side of the street; Brent was going for a gutter run! Takumi thought quickly, if Brent succeeded in pulling off a gutter run at this rate; the race would go to a second round. The young driver tensed himself for the next move, "Nope. I'm not having a second round. Not tonight at least. It ends here."

Deciding that the next turn was the only spot to make a move, Takumi stomped on the gas. Again, the little car surged forward closing the gap and squeezing into the newly opened line on the left. Brent noticed the absence of the 86's headlights and looked to his left. He saw the dark outline of the Fujiwara Tofu Shop decal and his opponent. Both of the cars were neck in neck, barreling towards the last turn in three hundred meters. The cars roared at each other neither one yielding to the other. Only two hundred meters left; the FR-S would be on the inside line while the 86 would have to turn wide. Only one car could make it through the corner though, it wasn't wide enough for both of them to fit without one car suffering major damage. One hundred meters left, Brent stared at the bend in the road; there really wasn't enough space for both of them to fit in. He didn't want to pay for the repairs to his new car, but he needed to get this race to a second round. He wanted to watch Takumi on the downhill for as long as he could keep up. Forcing the pedal to the ground, Brent glared at the car next to him; as if staring the little 86 down would cause it to yield. The tachometer needle reached the red zone and the engine whined, the FR-S was maxed out. Fifty meters away, they were still side by side. If both continued at this rate, no one would make it to the bottom of the road in one piece. Ten meters, the driver of the FR-S decided that living to see another day was more important than getting this race to a second round. Brent let off the gas.

The sound of the FR-S waned and slowly started to retreat. At that instant the panda 86 took the chance and surged forward, with a deafening roar the powerful racing engine drowned out the sound of the world around it. As if a weight was lifted off of his shoulders, Takumi heaved a sigh of relief as he drifted through the corner and sprinted towards the last straightaway and the finish; looking at his rear view mirror, he noticed that the FR-S lost a considerable amount of speed and that his opponent was at least two car lengths away from him. There was no way that Brent could regain the lead at this point. The first race between the 86 and its reincarnation was over.

Rolling past the finish line with a good seven second lead Takumi was glad that the race was over and yet he felt bad for the challenger. Stepping out of the 86 and trying his best to ignore the uproar from the one man cheer squad that was Kenta, he walked past Keisuke and the other mechanic--nodding and acknowledging their statements of congratulations and approvals--to the now idle FR-S and knocked on the driver side window. A minute passed where Keisuke had to punch Kenta in the shoulder in order to get him to shut up, after hearing a muffled sigh from within the silver car Takumi heard the door to open. Slowly getting out of his car, Brent stepped into the cold summer night and inhaled bringing himself to full height; Takumi had the suspicion that the taller guy was going to punch him in the face if the silence continued on any longer. The victor spoke, "Brent that was a really good race. I would be more than happy to give you a rematch later if you feel like it." Holding his hand out, he offered a small smile to his opponent.

Brent sighed again releasing all of his held breath; he looked at the young driver shook his hand, "That sounds great Takumi. A rematch with you and Keisuke was more than I could ever hope for. Thanks for making that race epic. I can't believe you started drifting with me."

Takumi scratched his cheek, "Heh, it was nothing. Seeing you drift around those corners made me want to drift as well."

Brent smiled, "That last corner where we were head to head… I should have known that you were never going to let me through first. Either you're crazy, or I'm too nice to you kid."

"You're giving me too much credit now. I just threw caution to the wind. My victory tonight was out of pure luck. You were great out there. Keisuke was right to say that you have some skills with you."

"Stop being so modest kid. You won fair and square." Turning to Keisuke he asked, "Hey Keisuke, does the team at the starting line know that the race is over now?"

Keisuke nodded, "Yeah, Fumihiro told them a few minutes ago. We agreed that time trials are not needed as we already broke both of your records with those two races. They should be here shortly."

Kenta piped in, "I'm starving; I think we're going to get food before we call it a night. I overheard something about Perry making some announcements over some food. Will you be joining us for a late dinner Brent?"

"Sure. Why not? Better than my plan of having cold leftover pizza at my apartment."

Ten minutes later, the caravan--led by two silver cars--were back on the road to the city.



Thanks for reading guys. As my first attempt at a race chapter so I'll need all the feedback I can get. Go ahead and speak your mind! I promise not to bite! smile.gif

Posted by: Meteor Apr 20 2012, 04:06 PM
QUOTE
When I read my work, I always think that the dialogues that I write are always lacking in something. But maybe I'm my harshest critic.

And that means you care about your work.

Onto the race scene. *begins analyzing* The mention of Brent getting a sizeable lead on Takumi pretty much gets the entire beginning of the race across with few words. But then it suddenly skips to both cars taking a turn in tandem, with the 86 centimeters away from the FR-S's bumper. Then it mentions Takumi catching up mid-way through the corner ("mere centimeters away" already implies the Eight-Six has caught up, so you could've instead mentioned the gap between the two cars shrinking even further if that's what you were going for). What's missing is the moment where Takumi begins to catch up enough to have both cars so close in the first turn. A reference to Takumi catching up during braking could've fixed the first problem.

Example:
QUOTE
By the end of the first straightaway the FR-S had a sizable lead; it was obvious that Brent knew what he was doing as he sped into the first corner. Moving in tandem, the little 86 and its reincarnation drifted around the bend, the front of the 86 mere centimeters away from the FR-S.

By the end of the first straightaway the FR-S had a sizable lead; it was obvious that Brent knew what he was doing as he sped towards the first corner. Catching up during braking, the little 86 and its reincarnation drifted around the bend, the front of the 86 mere centimeters away from the FR-S.


Everything afterwards had no problems besides the occasional typos (pointed out later in this post). Rest of the first paragraph was good, particularly Brent smiling at the Eight-Six in his mirrors and what he wanted out of this race.

Second paragraph.
Bringing attention to the tachometer's needle climbing up to the shift point and Takumi shifting up right there did a good job of building up to the Eight-Six immediately lurching forwards after the FR-S. Then you mentioned the slope helping it along. All this made the "tremendous amount of speed" the Eight-Six picked up very easy to imagine. The description of the FR-S's handling abilities seems to have room for improvement, but wasn't bad either.
Third paragraph.
Mentioning the road continuing down the cliffs added a feel of progress here. By the way, did you mean "the cars continued their decent twisting about the s-turns and shooting through the straights" or "the cars continued their descent twisting about the s-turns and shooting through the straights"?
Takumi straining his eyes for an opening to get past the FR-S brought in some tension to the race and the rest of this paragraph added to it.
Fourth paragraph.
Takumi watching the FR-S dance around corners and being lost in its trance implied a lot of good driving from the FR-S through the following turns without directly mentioning it. The constant, perfect blocking from Brent, Takumi's frustration at it and the slope of the road leveling out all add to this race. Takumi now has good reason to get desperate.
The way Takumi squeezed into the gap left by the FR-S could use some clarification (Did Takumi drift around the outside of the right turn to end up side-by-side with Brent mid-way through it? Did Brent simply exit that turn on the inside in preparation for the following left, inadvertently giving Takumi an opening? The writing isn't clear enough about it, though it seems to suggest the former.) but this part of the race was good as well. Brent seeing the Eight-Six show up on his left, both drivers trying to get as much speed out of their cars as possible in their race towards the final turn, the fact that only one car could make it through at those speeds, Brent initially deciding on continuing to the second round and finally deciding on not crashing, this part of the race was put together nicely.
And now it's over. The waning sound of the FR-S gets that across. The Eight-Six surging forward at that moment with a deafening roar nicely demonstrates how fast its going as it drifts through the last turn. Takumi's relief at getting out of that was well written. The huge gap between the cars shows that the race has been decided.

Everything that happens past the finish line serves as a great conclusion to this chapter.

*analysis mode off - checking for analysis mode upgrades. . . . no upgrades found*

There, some feedback on the race part of the race chapter. I hope it was helpful.

Oh, and typos and stuff:
."Aided by the gentle slope, the car gained a tremendous amount to speed as it turned into the upcoming corners, further closing the gap between the two driving machines."
."He watched as the FR-S ahead of him held its ground as though its tires were made of glue, they slid out from under the car at the right time touching the apex of the turn with the skill of a well-trained surgon; Takumi had to admit, his opponent's car has amazing handling capabilities."
(The "has" here should be "had" since otherwise you're mixing past-tense and present-tense words together.)

MOAR PLZ.

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Apr 20 2012, 11:15 PM
QUOTE (Meteor)
Good feedback etc etc...

Woah, that is really good critique Meteor. I've edited the post in a vain attempt to fix all the mistakes that you've pointed out. And I just realized that I posted up the first draft of the chapter and that it lacked in so many details. I've filled some of the stuff in but I'm still in the process of editing and such so check back soon! There might be something in there that is different. But I've added a whole bunch of details and I hope that's good enough for now. I tried to hit everything you mentioned and I filled in the small plot holes I left in that race. I've made so many typos and everything, I don't even know if I'm writing English anymore. Thanks for pointing them out. I've fixed the ones that you noted and some more that I found on my own. pinch2.gif

Don't rush the updates! I need to give other people a chance to read and comment on the chapters I post up right?

Posted by: JeremyGTS Apr 24 2012, 08:42 AM
Hey im back from vacation. The downhill was great. I love the FRS and I wanted it to win but I didnt want to see Takumi lose again LOL. I cant wait for more.

Posted by: Meteor Apr 27 2012, 11:27 PM
The edits done to the chapter were good. The first paragraph is even better now and the ending of the race makes a lot more sense. There's one place that still needs work though.
QUOTE
Takumi was all out, every ounce of his concentration on driving and the road ahead of him, by the fifth turn he was glued to the bumper of the FR-S.

Moving in tandem, the little 86 and its reincarnation drifted around the bend, the front of the 86 mere centimeters away from the FR-S. Takumi managed to catch up to his opponent by then middle of the corner.

Since the Eight-Six was already glued to the FR-S' bumper by the fifth turn (I'm assuming this is before corner-entry), why would Takumi need to catch up again during the same turn?

I'd have pointed this out earlier but you said you were in the process of editing, so I waited for more edits first. Turns out I misinterpreted that.

Posted by: Lonely_Driver Apr 29 2012, 07:07 PM
Snuggling up in bed right now to read it, hope its good laugh.gif

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 May 2 2012, 09:55 PM
Sorry I've kept you guys waiting! It has been really busy the past few weeks and I've been toying around with the plot to see where it can go from here. Hopefully these four chapters will keep you guys busy for the next few days while I continue writing and getting everything together.

QUOTE (JeremyGTS)
Hey im back from vacation. The downhill was great. I love the FRS and I wanted it to win but I didnt want to see Takumi lose again LOL. I cant wait for more.

Welcome back! How was your vacation? Also, I'm really glad to see that you're enjoying the story. Your kind words motivate me to write more. smile.gif

QUOTE (Meteor)
The edits done to the chapter were good. The first paragraph is even better now and the ending of the race makes a lot more sense.

Thanks Meteor, I think I'm done editing that chapter now. I can't add anything more to it unless you want me to completely take down the chapter and write it from scratch. Next time I have a race scene, I'll PM it to you for opinions and critiques before posting it up.

QUOTE (Lonely_Driver)
Snuggling up in bed right now to read it, hope its good laugh.gif

Yay! A new reader! Tell me how you think it is when you finish reading all the chapters. I need all the feedback I can get and your opinions will not go unnoticed! smile.gif


Now to these next four chapters (Chapters 10-13) of Beyond the Horizon. No races sadly enough, but there are a few new characters who make their first appearance! Please continue to read and comment! Thank you!



~Chapter 10: R.E.L.A.X.~

The small diner was practically empty save the sleepy waitress who was serving the nine men who just walked in. After she led them to a large rectangular table, she started her routine, "What will it be for all you guys today?" She yawned.

"Hello to you too Angie." Perry smiled.

"Oh! Perry, what are you doing here at this time of night? And who are all of your friends?" The waitress looked at the eight other men. She quickly wiped her hands on the small apron she wore and straightened out her uniform.

"Eh, we were out late. These guys are from Japan, except Brent; but you knew that already right? I'm treating them all out to dinner."

"Hm. I remember Brent, but all these new faces. I was just curious. Anyway, I assume you want the usual? What about you Brent?" Taking out a pencil and a pad she started scribbling orders down.

Perry confirmed, "Of course same for everyone here too. How about you Brent?"

The guy across from Keisuke shrugged. "I'll have what they're having."

"Great. Water for all of you guys right?"

"No, beer." Brent replied sarcastically.

"BRENT! You're driving, this is no time to be getting drunk!" Perry exclaimed.

"I was kidding, take a joke why don't you?" The guy smirked and shrugged again, "We'll just have water Angie. Thanks."

The waitress smiled, "Water it is then. Perry you're going to have to introduce me to all of your new friends after this."

While she was walking to the tiny kitchen in the back Perry looked around the table. The only one who seemed wide awake was Kenta who was shifting around in his seat uncontrollably. But who could blame the kid? He was sitting next to Keisuke and Takumi, maybe the silly thought that sitting next to two people with godly driving skills was making him giddy with excitement. He cleared his throat to get everyone's attention, "Hey guys. I'm sure that you’ve already guessed, but I'm planning another event in Southern California in a few months. I'll be meeting with more people like Brent for a photo shoot and a hang out. They're all like Brent, street racers with really nice cars... You know what that means; Project D has more chances for races in America. Now I understand if you guys don't want to stay until then, but if any of you decide to change your mind, just know that my door is open to all of you. You can take some time to think your answers over, remember you have a week here in the states before you have to return to Japan."

Angie came back and passed around glasses of water to everyone at the table, everyone thanked her and she hurried back into the kitchen. The smell of steak started wafting through the double doors that led to the staff only section distracting everyone for a few seconds.

Ryosuke nodded, "I really don't mind staying in the states for a few more weeks. I'm free for the rest of the summer; it's up to the rest of you." Looking around the table at his team.

"I'm totally up for staying here for this event." Keisuke said looking at his brother and nodding.

Takumi added his confirmation, "I'm on vacation too. So I think my dad will understand if I can't deliver the tofu for the next few weeks."

"If Keisuke is staying then I'm with him!" Kenta said, earning a glare from the person he mentioned.

Fumihiro sighed, "Well if Ryosuke is staying, I guess the support team doesn't really have a choice huh?"

Both Matsumoto and Tomiguchi crossed their arms and nodded simultaneously.

Perry grinned, scratching the back of his head, "Then it's settled! I'll cancel your flight for next week… Looks like I have to do some more grocery shopping now…"

Brent looked up from his phone and added, "What am I now? Chopped liver?"

Everyone chuckled at his statement but Perry was the one who spoke up, "Don't be so sour Brent. Of course you're invited; you're obviously going to be there. Unless you have other plans..."

"Of course I'll be there. My FR-S is going to be a bigger, better, stronger racing machine by then and I'll rematch you two at the event. How does that sound?" Looking at the two drivers that beat him only a few hours before.

Keisuke smiled, "Sounds like a plan, I expect an even better rematch from you."

Looking at Takumi it was obvious that his teammates' answer applied to him too. Brent concluded the conversation, "Then it's settled. We will have our rematch in Southern California when the event comes. In a few months' time."

At that moment Angie came out with a huge platter of dishes. It took a few minutes to pass all the plates out but it was easy to see why Perry frequented this particular diner. The food looked amazing. Perry's usual consisted of a decently sized New York style steak, a helping of mashed potatoes, a pile of steamed vegetables, and a small dinner roll all artfully arranged on a large plate. As the men started into their late dinner, Angie walked back to the kitchen to put the platter away. A minute later she appeared at the head of the table setting down a jug of iced water, she seated herself next to Perry. "So guys, I guess I haven't properly introduced myself yet. Well, as you can already see," Pointing to her small faded name badge, "I'm Angie. It's a pleasure to meet all of you."

Starting with the man who was seated opposite of Perry, Ryosuke introduced himself. "Ryosuke Takahashi, this is my younger brother Keisuke Takahashi." Motioning to the guy who had half the steak sticking out of his mouth. The younger brother quickly nodded, between his mouthfuls of steak, "Nice to… meet you… Angie." He swallowed and coughed.

"Kenta Nakamura." Going down the table.

"Takumi Fujiwara."

"Shuichi Matsumoto."

Continuing to the other side of the table, "Hiroshi Fumihiro"

"Tomiguchi." The FD mechanic said casually pouring himself another glass of water.

Brent pocketed his phone for the umpteenth time and smiled, "Obviously Brent."

Perry finished off the introductions, "So Angie, everyone here except Brent, is a member of Project D. I'm sure you remember me talking about them numerous times in the past year. They're pretty big on the street racing scene in Japan. I invited them here to try their hand on American roads. Ryosuke is the leader, Keisuke and Takumi are the drivers, Fumihiro and Kenta are the support team, and Matsumoto and Tomiguchi are the mechanics. They're pretty good at what they do, even though it's illegal..." He looked around the empty restaurant and lowered his voice. "Angie, keep this a secret from everyone else ok?"

Angie did another quick sweep of the table before looking back at Perry. He had a suspicious smile on his face that made him look like a twelve year old at a GameStop. "Sure thing Perry. My lips are sealed." A faint voice was heard within the kitchen, "Ah, I'm being called. If you guys need anything else, then just give me a shout." She got up and left for the double doors.

The sounds of silverware against plates permeated the silence that ensued. Looking up from his half-finished dinner, Takumi spoke. "Perry, isn’t there something else you wanted to say?"

At these words, Perry froze in place. He put down his knife and fork and started playing with his napkin, gaining the attention of the whole table. "Uh… Oh yes. I almost forgot about that… I have another announcement... Now promise not to laugh at me for this but--"

Everyone at the table tensed themselves for this big announcement.

"I can't drift and I am not a street racer." Perry said quickly under his breath, he looked down at his plate trying in vain to continue on as though nothing happened.

"What? You mean you're not a street racer Perry... Surely you can't be serious…" Keisuke seemed skeptical of the whole situation.

"I kid you not Keisuke. The only reason I beat Takumi yesterday night was because I drive Lombard Street every day to get to and from work. Kinda like Takumi and Mount Akina... Except Takumi is an actual street racer... Anyone who has driven on that road can vouch for me; Lombard Street is not exactly a cake walk."

Takumi and Ryosuke nodded, they understood what Perry was talking about but Ryosuke just had to ask, "Then how did you get that amazing ten second lead on Takumi?"

Perry shrugged, "I know that street like the back of my hand. I can drive it blindfolded if I wanted to. That was my best run so far, my usual time for the course is around nine minutes and forty five seconds--Takumi's time--so I managed to smash my own record..." Perry chuckled nervously, "And I had a feeling that Takumi was being cautious because of all the fog." Out of the corner of his vision, he saw that Takumi nodded once, "Either way, if you asked me to replicate that race, I wouldn't be able to. That was a once in a lifetime occurrence. It's a fact that the fourth hairpin is where the lane is the widest; the rest of the course after that is high speed turns that I can clear in less than six seconds if I wanted to. At the fourth hairpin is where I usually pass people when I'm following someone. I've passed people on that corner before, and it's not that difficult; but last night I just flew. Maybe it was because I was up against Takumi and I was pushing myself to the limit... But I'm actually a really conservative driver. So you're never going to see me try anything that crazy again."

"What about that rematch then?" Keisuke eyed Perry suspiciously.

Takumi smiled, "Its fine, I'm not going force Perry into a rematch if he's not a racer. I'll give him the victory. I will try to go for the record though. If Perry was able to break his previous record while racing me, I think this will be a good challenge."

Ryosuke looked around and smiled, "Then, I guess that wraps up this mystery. Congratulations again Perry. You managed to beat my downhill ace."

Perry seemed embarrassed by the whole situation, "Thank you Ryosuke, Takumi."

Ryosuke laughed, "To believe I got worked up over this. Perry, you are mysterious."

A small round of laughter resounded through the diner. Five minutes later, everyone was done with their food. Angie gathered the dishes onto the platter and went back to the kitchen to drop them off. When she was back out, the guys were getting ready to leave. Paying the tab and leaving a huge tip for the waitress Perry thanked her, "Another stunning dinner Angie. My complements to the chef, I'll see you around later."

She smiled, "Hey, no problem Perry. Remember to be safe while you're racing out there alright?"

Perry laughed, "You know I don't race. Stop teasing me."

She walked them out of the restaurant, letting out a small gasp at the line of cars parked in front of her. By the glow of a nearby street light, all the cars looked aggressive. Given they were a little bit dusty. Brent was next to his FR-S smoking his twentieth cigarette of the night. Noticing this she pestered him, "Brent, stop smoking. It's bad for you."

"I know, but god damn! These cigarettes are way too good to give up." He threw it to the ground and unlocked his car. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must be off. I have to be back in the garage in fifteen minutes. Thanks again for the food Angie. Perry, Ryosuke, Keisuke… Takumi. Everyone." He nodded and slipped into his car, seconds later the tail lights of the FR-S were seen disappearing into the night.

Perry turned to the young woman, "Well Angie, take care." He nodded and everyone proceeded to their cars. One by one, the sound of another engine was added to the night as the cars came to life; their head lights illuminating the front of the diner and Angie's small figure. Her shadow traveled around her in a half circle as the cars pulled out of the small parking lot and headed back to Perry’s house.


~Chapter 11: Reminisce~

It was two o'clock in the morning before the Project D caravan returned to Perry's house. Unpacking the support vans could wait till tomorrow, everyone was too tired to move anything anywhere. The small pack of men walked up the stairs to the main entrance. Perry fumbled around with his keys and unlocked the front door, Tomiguchi bolted through first; he was covered in dust and grime from replacing the tires on Keisuke's FD. It was agreed upon during the drive back that he had first calls on the shower. But knowing Keisuke, if Tomiguchi took too long to occupy the bathroom, the younger Takahashi brother would take over for one of his infamously long showers. Keisuke called to his mechanic in the most pompous manner possible. "TOMIGUCHI! WHAT'S THE RUSH? AFRAID I'M GOING TO TAKE THE SHOWER FROM YOU?"

Tomiguchi's muffled reply came from within the room he occupied with Fumihiro and Kenta; he was frantically gathering a change of clothes and his towel, "You know me all too well Keisuke. But I have you this time. I will be the first one to take a shower and you'll be the one waiting!" The sound of the bathroom door slamming was heard. Tomiguchi succeeded. He had the bathroom first.

Keisuke laughed. Bounding up the stairs to the room he and his brother shared he shouted. "I call the shower after Tomiguchi’s finished!"

Groans of despair and agony were heard from the group of people that stood in the foyer. Ryosuke shook his head, "Well if that’s the case, I'm heading out. I need a drive to clear my head anyway."

Perry looked at the leader of Project D, "You're not going to get yourself lost are you? The streets around here can be a maze at times."

"I'll be fine Perry. If I get lost I'll give you a call." Turning around he walked out the door and into the night. The faint sound of the FC was heard as it pulled out of the driveway and drove off.

After a few moments of silence Fumihiro spoke. "Perry do we have anything planned for tomorrow?"

Perry looked up from his phone, "Hm? Oh no. We have nothing planned for tomorrow so feel free to stay up as late as you want. I'm not stopping you."

"Ah, sounds like a plan then. Well I'll be in my room getting some rest then. I'm tired." He left up the stairs with Matsumoto and Kenta. Takumi looked around and then padded up the stairs after them; together they disappeared into their half of the hall.

Perry closed the front door and walked up the stairs, he checked his phone. Three text messages and five missed calls. Things were really getting out of hand at this rate. Perry closed the door behind him and seated himself at the computer desk. The fan whirred as the system powered itself up, the screens flickered. Looking from his cellphone to the computer, Perry almost dropped his phone. He had over one hundred and fifty messages on the monitors; all of them had the same question presented in different forms. Stumbling backwards away from the desk Perry gasped, first thing to do when he woke up: call his secretary. There is no way a single person could handle all these inquiries alone. He gathered a clean change of clothes and walked to his bathroom. This whole situation would be sorted out in the morning, for now he just wanted to get himself cleaned up.

The FC hummed as Ryosuke cruised down the street, he looked lazily at the road before him. It was good to get away from the hustle and bustle of the university life; he was going to enjoy his time in the states. The highway was practically empty save a few large trucks that were hauling their daily deliveries of supplies to their destinations. Steering his car off the highway, he parked at the edge of a vista point on the cliff. The cold ocean breeze greeted Ryosuke as he stepped out of his FC onto the sandy pitch. Looking down the sheer rock face he saw the white crowns of the waves below him, the slow slushing sound of the sea was relaxing. He turned back to his car, the road stretched across the horizon dotted with the red tail lights of cars returning to the city; he retraced his route, he wasn't lost. Walking back to his FC he noticed it was really dusty, cleaning off a small portion of the hood with the sleeve of his jacket he leaned against the front bumper of his trusty FC. He felt the warmth from the hood and his mind started to wander. Ryosuke sighed, he was content with how things were going, for the first time since his admittance into medical school he was enjoying life, a vacation to America that would last a couple of months. When was the last time he was on vacation? Before his university days obviously. How long ago was that? Five years? Five years… When he met the first love of his life. When he was young. When he finally found something to live for… Her. He realized that he let his mind wander too far; he was coming across old memories. Memories he would rather forget. He closed his eyes, a single tear rolled down his cheek. "Kaori..."

To everyone's surprise, Keisuke only took thirty minutes in the shower today. He was now playing cards with Takumi and the others in Fumihiro's room. Tomiguchi was consistently beating everyone in rounds of Koi-Koi. There was a light knock on the door and Perry appeared. "Hey guys, we don't have anything planned for tomorrow, so feel free to sleep in!" Looking at the pile of hanafuda in the middle of the room, "Ah, are you guys playing Koi-Koi? It's been ages! Can I join in?"

Keisuke shrugged, "Sure why not? Try to beat Tomiguchi. He's really on a roll tonight."

Perry nodded and seated himself between Kenta and Takumi. After a few rounds Perry conceded his defeat. Lady luck was smiling on Tomiguchi tonight. Getting up and rubbing his hands together, Perry sighed, "Man Tomiguchi. I'm glad I wasn't betting anything tonight. I would have lost so much money if we were actually gambling."

Tomiguchi laughed, "I swear I'm not that good at Koi-Koi. You're all just bad at it."

"Hey! Don't make me punch you Tomiguchi!" Keisuke exclaimed sarcastically raising a fist to his mechanic.

"Fine. You guys are ok. I'm just better." He smiled and looked up at the door, "Oh, welcome back Ryosuke. How was that drive of yours?"

Everyone turned to look at the man who entered the room, the leader of Project D stared back at them. It was obvious, Ryosuke was tired. Keisuke stood up and walked up to his brother. "Hey bro. You look tired, go take a shower and get some rest. We don't have to wake up early tomorrow so don't worry."

Ryosuke nodded and turned to leave, Keisuke gave everyone a worried look before following his other brother out of the room. Fumihiro sighed and shook his head, "He's thinking about Kaori again. Why now?"

Perry and everyone else shared looks of confusion. Kenta asked the obvious question, "Who's Kaori?"

Fumihiro shook his head again before getting up and laying his futon out. "She's one of Ryosuke's old friends. It's a long and personal story. I can say no more… Well I'm going to bed now. Good night everyone." He slipped into his futon and turned away from the rest of the group.

Taking that as their cue to leave Takumi and Matsumoto got up and padded out of the room. Perry went downstairs to check on all the doors and lights. After his rounds he looked back at the Project D side of the hall, all was dark save for a crack of light was seen under the bathroom door. He returned to his room and checked his computer again. Seventy five new messages in addition to the one hundred and fifty plus that he already had, he sighed. If something wasn't done soon, the task of answering all these messages would become impossible. He shut his computer down and walked over to his bed. Lying on top of the covers he checked his phone again. One text message from Brent, "Hey Perry, I'm out of food for the rest of the week. You don't mind if I crash your place for dinner tomorrow right? I'll give you a call if I decide to come or not. XD" He quickly replied to the text, "Sure, just give me a call if you decide to stop by so I can make more food." Silencing his phone, Perry closed his eyes and fell asleep.


~Chapter 12: Good Morning!~

"ARGH!"

The muffled sound of anguish woke Perry up. He rolled off his bed and fell on the floor, dragging most of the covers with him. After a few frantic moments of wrestling with the blankets, Perry threw them back on the bed and jumped up; throwing his door open he leaped down the stairs, scrambling into the kitchen where the source of the noise came from. Kenta stood before a few pieces of toast that were heaped on the floor, surrounding the wasted food was the remains of a ceramic plate. Kenta looked up and saw the ruffled house owner standing in the doorway, "Uh… Good morning Perry… I was… Uh… Making some toast and… Yeah… You can see what happened… Sorry. I'll clean it up."

The young man stooped to pick up the bread and the pieces of broken dish when he was stopped. Perry handed him a broom and a dustpan, "You know you don't have to pick everything up. Sweeping it is easier."

Kenta nodded and within five minutes, it looked like nothing happened in the kitchen. Seating himself at the small dining table, Perry let out a tired sigh, "You really gave me a scare there Kenta. I thought you were attacked or something."

"Oh, sorry Perry. I didn't mean to be that loud. I hope I didn't wake anyone else up."

"You're fine, I didn't see anyone else running out of their rooms when I came down." Looking around the empty kitchen, he noticed it was eleven o'clock in the morning, "Would you like some tea or something to eat?"

"I'll have a mug of tea. Thanks Perry."

Perry got up and started rummaging through the shelves, "I hope you're not picky. The only type of tea that I drink is lemon tea. I'll go ahead and make some toast too since that is what you were craving, right?"

Kenta shuffled in his seat, "Thanks Perry."

At that moment Fumihiro walked into the kitchen, yawning he stopped to look at Perry. Perry looked back at the man, they stared each other down until Perry walked up to the sleepy guy and handed him a mug. "Morning Fumihiro, take a seat. I'm making some tea and toast."

He yawned again, "Ah, good morning Perry... Thanks." He seated himself next to Kenta, placing the mug out of his reach. He put his arms on the table and his forehead on his arms. In two minutes he was asleep again.

Perry finished his kitchen work and walked back to the table with a little ceramic teapot and a plate of toast. He stopped when he saw Fumihiro sleeping at the table, suppressing the urge to laugh Perry asked, "Kenta, why is Fumihiro here if all he's going to do is sleep at the table? Wake him up and tell him to get back to bed if he wants more sleep."

Kenta shrugged, "I have no idea Perry, he's usually a morning person. But you know, we all have our off days." He poked at his teammate, "Hey Fumihiro. You're too tired to be here. Go back to the room and get some more sleep."

He stirred, "Huh? Go away. I'm not tired. Mnph..."

"Fumihiro. Get out of here. Lay down on the couch if you insist on sleeping downstairs."

"Fine. I'm up. I'm out. I'll see you guys in a few hours or something..." He waved his hand in the air, swatting away something invisible. Getting up, he stumbled out of the kitchen and shuffling was heard as he disappeared up the stairs.

Perry looked at the door, "Well that was strange. Are you sure that Fumihiro is ok?"

Kenta laughed, "He's just tired. Trust me, I'm sure he just woke up while he was in the middle of REM sleep or something. You know that feeling when you wake up and you're simply exhausted? Yup."

Perry nodded and resumed his seat at the table, setting down the plate of toast he proceeded to pour himself a cup of tea. The rich sweet smell of lemon tea filled the kitchen, next he grabbed a piece of toast; looking up at Kenta he realized that he forgot a cup for his guest. Gasping and quickly getting up, "Oh, I forgot to get you a mug Kenta. Sorry." He ran to the cupboards and grabbed a matching tea cup.

Kenta took the cup and poured himself a little bit of the aromatic tea, taking a sip his eyes widened. "Mmm. Perry, this stuff is really good. I think I found myself a new favorite drink."

"Ha, everyone says that. Lemon tea can be really sweet or mild depending on how you like it." Grabbing another piece of toast Perry got up and walked towards the front door. He quickly picked up something from his doorstep and strode back to the kitchen. Setting down the small bag he unfurled the Sunday paper and started to read the front page.

Kenta finished his toast and looked around again trying to find a purpose, "Ah... Perry? Can you leave the front door open? I guess I can start unpacking the vans before the weather heats up too much."

Perry looked over the newspaper, "Sounds like an amazing idea Kenta, the keys are on the small table in the foyer. If you need any help, just call me."

Kenta got up and left the kitchen. Slipping on his shoes, he walked out the front door towards the cars parked on the driveway. It was the beginning to another wonderful summer day; the sun out and shining, a few clouds hung up high in the bright blue sky, the only thing that was wrong with the picture was the line of dirty cars. Kenta unlocked the first support van and started moving the boxes back to the house. Fifteen minutes later, both the support vans were void of their supply boxes. Returning to the kitchen Kenta heaved the last box of leftover food on the counter; Perry glanced over his newspaper and smiled. "Kenta, you look exhausted. Did you really just move all the boxes from both of the support vans?"

Wiping the sweat from his brow, Kenta nodded, "I'm going to take a shower now. Also, the cars need to get washed. Do you think anyone is willing to do it?"

Perry laughed, "I was thinking the same thing. We can start washing the cars once everyone wakes up. But you don't have to help, you've done enough today as is. Thanks Kenta. I have a few phone calls to make, excuse me." He folded the newspaper and got up.

Closing the door quietly behind him Perry checked his phone again. Twelve fifteen, his secretary was awake now, he was sure of it. Scrolling down his list of contacts he found her number. Taking a deep breath he pressed the green call button, placing the cellphone to his ear he steeled his nerves for the conversation ahead. The dial tone sounded a couple of times before it stopped, suddenly replaced with a female voice, "Hello?"

"Oh uh... Yes, Lena?" Perry managed to stammer out.

"Oh hey Perry! What's going on? You never call me unless it's for something serious. Is something wrong that you need me to fix again, or is the first time you're calling me just to talk?"

"More business I'm afraid... I need your help replying to all the messages I've been getting. My inbox is inundated with the damn things, I'll set up the accounts so that they're connected. You already know about everything going on right? You helped me plan all this out and you know the results of our race and such."

The voice on the other side of the phone replied with a long drawn out sigh, "Really Perry? You should have set this up earlier. I told you I was ready and willing to help you on the communications side of things. Well set it up, I'll get started on answering everything when I get back home. And don't worry about updating me about these things. I get enough text messages from Brent as is; he's keeping me posted."

"Thank you Lena! You are a life saver, what would I do without you?"

"Ha, you probably would be having a panic attack from all the stress that you're under. Anyhow, I know you're a busy person. I'll leave you alone now, I'll talk to you later tonight. Bye."

"Thank you again Lena." Thumbing the end call button he sighed. Mission complete, he turned on his computer; there were over five hundred messages that needed replies now. He ignored the number and clicked on the control panel. The keyboard clacked away as he changed the settings. Suddenly his phone started ringing on the desk, picking up and checking the caller ID; Meteor. "Hello?"

"Yo Perry, I just got a reply to my question from your secretary. Is it true that your victory over Takumi was due to luck?"

Perry gasped, she was making quick work of the task that was just assigned to her. "Oh yeah... About that... Yes it's totally true. You know I'm not a street racer."

"I know. But still, you're one lucky guy if you were able to beat Takumi at his own game."

"Ha, I know right? Well I was just lucky and that's it. I'm sure if I was challenged to a rematch I would lose."

"Don't say things like that, you'll jinx your chances of winning."

"You know it's true."

"Sometimes you're too pessimistic for your own good. Being sad all the time is bad for your health!"

"I'll try to take that advice to heart then. Thanks Meteor."

"Hey no problem. Well, I have to go so I'll see you around later."

"Another phone conversation that’s only about business? I'll talk to you later then Meteor." The phone replied with dial tone. Perry sighed and got up from his desk, he solved his communications problem. Muffled voices and shuffling were heard from the hall outside, opening his door he saw the rest of Project D. This time Fumihiro was wide awake, Perry smiled, "Hello everyone. Hungry? I'll whip up some lunch and then we can wash the cars afterwards."


~Chapter 13: Past Days~

Everyone was gathered in the small kitchen eating lunch. Instant udon and beef was on the menu today. It was obvious that Perry was running out of groceries to make food, a shopping trip would probably be needed in the upcoming days. The meal was a quiet affair, the sounds of chopsticks clattering together were briefly interrupted by short conversations about the plans for today. Other than washing the cars, there was nothing else scheduled so there wasn't much to talk about. After about three minutes of silent eating, Matsumoto spoke up, "I was thinking, after we wash the cars why don't we just explore the city for a little bit? Perry, don't you need to go out to do some food shopping anyway? We can kill two birds with one stone!"

Perry looked up from his bowl, "That sounds like a good idea actually. Let's go in the evening then, when the weather cools down. That's when the open air markets start."

"Great!"

The silence returned to the table as everyone was finishing their food. Takumi played with the bowl half eaten udon in front of him, once again he was spacing out. From the vacant expression on his face it was obvious that he was in deep thought over something or simply blanking out. Keisuke noticed and took his chance, "Oi Takumi, what are you thinking about?"

It took the young driver a few seconds to react, "...Hm? Oh nothing."

"Just spacing out again then?" Keisuke smirked.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"

"Oh, nothing..." And with that, concluded the final awkward conversation at the table; lunch was finished. An hour later everyone was outside in the afternoon sunshine. The cars were lined up in pairs, holding a hose and a sponge Perry looked at all the members of Project D who were assembled in front of the cars. "Ok guys. You know what to do. We're going to wash two cars at a time. Let's get started." Turning on the hose he sprayed his Corolla and Rysouke's FC.

Two hours later, the sun bore down on the surface of the earth vaporizing any trace of water on the asphalt and on the cars. Water evaporated off the vehicles and distorted the air around them making it seem as though there was an aura emanating from the racing machines that were parked on the driveway. Next thing to do was a fresh coat of wax; with no shade to hide under, everyone was forced to work quickly. By the time the rear bumper of the second support van was done everyone was exhausted; the cars gleamed in the late afternoon sunlight, a product of hard work. Everyone was cleaning up and returning the supplies to the small garage. Takumi lagged behind and glanced at the carbon fiber hood on his 86; his reflection stared back at him. He smiled as he ran a hand down the side of the car, it was flawless. Matsumoto walked up to the driver and placed a hand on his shoulder, "This is the nicest I've seen the 86 in a while. Hell, this is the nicest I've seen all of our cars. Good work today Takumi."

The young driver smiled, "Yeah. I think my dad would flip if he saw this though. He'd ask me to wash the Impreza too."

The mechanic laughed, "Another car to wash? No thanks."

Keisuke walked up to his FD patted it, "Man, that took a little longer than I expected."

Ryosuke stepped next to his FC and leaned against the front bumper, "What do you expect? We had to wash and wax six different cars. I thought this would take all day, we were pretty fast if you ask me."

Kenta seated himself in a little patch of shade cast by one of the support vans, "It's always so rewarding to wash a car to see how shiny it can get."

Taking a seat next to Kenta, Tomiguchi spoke, "Yup, well now we just have to rinse off and then we'll be ready for the open air market, right guys?"

"That's right. Everything is cleaned up now so you guys can go in and rinse off. We'll leave in an hour and a half." Perry appeared carrying a bag of cold sodas, handing one to each member of Project D he sat on the hood of his shining Corolla. "I hope none of you guys have farmer's tans. Those are so hard to get rid of."

There was a brief moment of panic as everyone checked their shoulders for any sign of the white tan line that marked that they were spending too much time out in the sun, Perry chuckled. Everyone was at least two shades darker now, Keisuke's blond hair looked even brighter and he had the faint trace of sunglasses on his face. Checking himself in the side view mirror, "GOD DAMN IT! MY FACE!"

Ryosuke laughed at his little brother, "I warned you about this Keisuke. I told you about putting sunscreen on."

"THIS USUALLY NEVER HAPPENS THOUGH! I NEVER GET THIS TAN!"

"How many hours did you spend outside today? Three hours? No four… How can you not get tan from standing in the hot summer sun for four hours?" Ryosuke shrugged at his rhetorical question.

Keisuke buried his hands in his hair screaming in distress, "WARGH! I'M GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER!" before anyone could object, Keisuke turned around and stormed back to the house.

Perry looked after the distant figure as disappeared into the house, "Well if you guys really want, you can use my bathroom to take quick showers while Keisuke is in there cleaning himself up..."

Tomiguchi jumped up, "Sounds amazing Perry, I'll take you up on that offer."

Perry led the way back to the house and two hours later in the purple dusk, they were getting ready to set out. Keisuke wore a huge pair of sunglasses to hide the tan line on his face; he looked ridiculous. Perry checked his phone one more time before stepping out the front door. He had one text from Brent, "Hey, looks like I won't be stopping by your place tonight. I have some errands to run in the garage. You lucked out this time!" Perry smiled and pocketed his phone.

Parking in the city cost and arm AND a leg so everyone agreed on taking one of the support vans and Perry's Corolla since both could comfortably fit four people each. There was a bit of a tussle when deciding who was going in which car but it was settled quickly with relatively little pain; Keisuke, Takumi, and Ryosuke in Perry's car while the rest of the team was in the first support van. As everyone walked off to their assigned cars Kenta looked absolutely crushed as he slinked off to the support van. Perry stared after the lonely figure, "Poor Kenta. Keisuke, why won't you let him sit with us? My car can fit five people."

"Because! He doesn't have to follow me around like this! It annoys me!" Behind his huge sunglasses it was easy to see that he was scowling at the van that sat only a few meters away.

"You don't have to be such a jerk about it though. I think you should apologize to Kenta."

"NO! Who are you now, my mom? Get off my case before I drive my FD into your sorry excuse of a car! Now let's go before I change my mind." Keisuke slipped into the passenger's seat and slammed the door shut, pouting as he locked himself in the car.

Ryosuke gave Perry a quick apologetic glance as he stepped into the back seat and closed the door. Takumi followed suit and soon the sound of the Corolla's engine broke the silence of the evening. The drive to the downtown area only took fifteen minutes, but it felt like an hour because of the awkward tension that hung in the air. Keisuke sat silently in the front seat while Ryosuke and Takumi were spacing out in the back seat.

The hustle and bustle of the city lessened as heads turned on the street to catch a glimpse of the pair of immaculate cars as they rode down the boulevard; two freshly waxed cars looked out of place in the oldest section of downtown. As they pulled into a crowded parking lot off the main street, they caused all of the other cars to look dull and old. It took a few minutes to find two open parking spots next to each other but by some miracle, Perry's Corolla and the support van were able to park side by side. Stepping out of his car, Perry gasped at the sight of the unmarked silver car that he parked next to. Takumi stepped out and stared at the car Perry was looking at, noticing his surprise. "Hey Perry, what's up? I know this is a nice car but why are you gawking at it?"

Perry partially regained his composure and looked at the young driver, "It looks familiar. Cars with the badges removed are hard to find in the city... It looks like..."

Ryosuke gently closed the car door and joined the conversation, "Hm. By the looks of it, I'll say that this is an Infiniti G35. What's so special about this particular car Perry?"

"It looks like..."

Keisuke stepped in, while he had time to cool down during the car ride, it was easy to see he was still a bit irked. "What are we looking for?"

The group from the van walked in to join the circle around the mysterious silver car. Everyone had curious expressions on their faces. Perry looked around nervously before continuing, "This car. This Infiniti G35. I think it's the Grey Ghost..."

At that moment the noise of the city was silenced by the sound of footsteps. "Hey Perry! Looking at my car eh?"



Oh my goodness that was a long post. Enjoy guys! More updates ahead in the near future if people continue to read and comment! biggrin.gif

Posted by: Meteor May 3 2012, 02:47 PM
QUOTE (THE_HONDA_CG2)
QUOTE (Meteor)
I wish for a good book to read
Wish granted. Now you're stuck reading my fanfic. Which I just updated with a whole bunch of chapters, have fun reading! awesome.gif

laugh2.gif

I think you'll be pleased to know I did have fun reading. The quality of your writing is still as good as ever and these four chapters were definitely worth the wait. Liked the new characters, liked the dialogue and the little details that brought all the characters to life (as usual), etc. etc.

Some of these chapters could've easily been boring filler, but you're a skilled enough writer to make them plot-relevant and interesting.

Kenta's a surprisingly hard worker. Never knew he could be such a helpful member of Project D when it came to things other than scouting courses. So who is this Grey Ghost we've just been introduced to? We'll just have to wait for the undoubtedly skillfully written updates (hope I'm not putting too much pressure on you).

Just two things.
A typo:
"Perry looked after the distant figure as disappeared into the house, "Well if you guys really want, you can use my bathroom that take quick showers while Keisuke is in there cleaning himself up...""
And a most nitpicky nitpick:
QUOTE
Seventy five new messages in addition to the one hundred and fifty plus that he already had, he sighed; if something wasn't done soon. The task of answering all these messages would become impossible.

Something about the punctuation between "if something wasn't done soon" and the sentence right after it doesn't seem right. Perhaps the punctuation could be changed up here and there. Maybe like this:
QUOTE
Seventy five new messages in addition to the one hundred and fifty plus that he already had - he sighed. If something wasn't done soon, the task of answering all these messages would become impossible.


(A longer and more detailed review will be written on request. Anyway, this is still one of the best Initial D fics I've seen in a while)

Posted by: Rudy May 10 2012, 11:08 PM
Honestly, it's one of the better written fics out there. I'm not terribly sucked in by the concept, but it is a neat deviation from the typical run-of-the-mill supr srs fic.

There's just little errors and quals here and there that need to be tidied up. Overall, I give it a 6 out of 10. Great first fic. smile.gif

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Jun 21 2012, 11:28 PM
QUOTE (Post Screen)
The topic you are replying in is over 41 days old. Please be advised that you will be warned
for posting content that is irrelevant, repetitive, useless, or otherwise violative of any rules set forth by the Forum Guidelines.

Oh crap, has it really been 41 days since anyone has last posted this thread? I better get back on my game now. I know some of you guys are waiting on new chapters right? Well wait no longer! I have two of them right here!

QUOTE (Meteor)
laugh2.gif

I think you'll be pleased to know I did have fun reading. The quality of your writing is still as good as ever and these four chapters were definitely worth the wait. Liked the new characters, liked the dialogue and the little details that brought all the characters to life (as usual), etc. etc.

Some of these chapters could've easily been boring filler, but you're a skilled enough writer to make them plot-relevant and interesting.

Kenta's a surprisingly hard worker. Never knew he could be such a helpful member of Project D when it came to things other than scouting courses. So who is this Grey Ghost we've just been introduced to? We'll just have to wait for the undoubtedly skillfully written updates (hope I'm not putting too much pressure on you).

(A longer and more detailed review will be written on request. Anyway, this is still one of the best Initial D fics I've seen in a while)

Grey Ghost is obviously Dave! Just kidding, the off shot that you wrote is brilliant though, please continue. Please?

Anyhow, thank you Meteor. I put a lot of editing into those chapters and I'm glad to see that they turned out interesting and fun to read. Sadly enough, these next two chapters are filler once again, but hopefully I made them interesting enough to hold everyone's attention. I really wish more people would give me feedback, I need more readers since I'm running out of characters to write in again. sleep.gif

QUOTE (Demon Boost)
Honestly, it's one of the better written fics out there. I'm not terribly sucked in by the concept, but it is a neat deviation from the typical run-of-the-mill supr srs fic.

There's just little errors and quals here and there that need to be tidied up. Overall, I give it a 6 out of 10. Great first fic. smile.gif

This really means a lot coming from a master such as yourself. Thank you Demon Boost for taking the time out to read everything I've written so far. This was never meant to be a super serious fanfic. It's just a brainchild of mine that I decided to nurture and build upon. I hope that these next few updates that I have lined up catch your interest.


Okay, enough of this! Chapters 14 and 15 of Beyond the Horizon now! And if anyone is wondering why it took so long to put these chapters up, it's because I had to--literally--go through about ten different scenarios before I was happy with the outcome. rage.gif



~Chapter 14: Shine On Somebody~

Everyone turned to face this newcomer; he was handsomely tall and very young, perhaps around Ryosuke's age. There was a smile on his face as his eyes swept through the group of people standing around his car, "Well now, who are all these new faces? Perry, don't tell me that you actually went through with your plan and brought all of Project D here."

Perry quickly regained his composure, "Yeah, I can't believe I did this either." He laughed nervously, "Al, this is everyone from Project D, everyone this is Alastair."

There was a minute where everyone acquainted themselves to yet another one of Perry's friends. After the last introduction Perry seemed a little less surprised; he spoke, "What are you doing downtown Al?"

"Just relaxing, what else am I supposed to do on a day off?"

"Ha, I guess. We are just about to hit the open air markets. If you have nothing else to do then you can come with us."

"Oh I was just about to head out for dinner, would you guys like to join me for that?"

There was a moment of silence as Perry thought about his friend's offer. "What do you guys think? You want to grab some dinner first?"

It wasn't a surprise that everyone instantly agreed to have dinner first, spending the entire day washing cars would leave anyone hungry. Alastair grinned at the rest of the group as they turned to look at him, "I know this great Dim Sum place right here in downtown! We can just walk there. Well Perry? Are you feeling like some Chinese food?"

Perry chuckled, "Actually I think I know about the place that you're talking about. I haven't had Dim Sum in ages. Let's go before the evening crowd builds up. I hate waiting in lines."

Perry didn't even have to ask the rest of the team, it was obvious that they were starving. Alastair smiled again as he looked around; he had to ask one more time just to be sure, "So is it settled? Dim Sum right?"

Everyone nodded and together they started down the busy street. Looking at how silly Keisuke appeared--wearing sunglasses at this dusky hour--it was amazing that he managed not to walk into anything. The warm evening air buzzed with the sound of the downtown life as the group of nine men walked down the boulevard towards a small shop that stood on the corner of a semi-quiet intersection. Takumi gazed into the tiny restaurant through the large window, Peking duck and roasted pork hung from metal hooks in a glass display case and there were a few people seated at one table; the butcher raised a knife above his head before swiftly bringing it down upon a chunk of cooked meat, sliding it on a plate before giving it to one of the servers. He looked up at the sound of the bell tolling another customer's entry to his little shop. The front area was comprised of a glass counter that displayed all the different varieties of moon cakes and sweets, round tables equipped bottles of soy sauce and napkin dispensers filled up the rest of the small restaurant. The setting sun accented the warm lighting; the place was old but it felt homey. The cook stood behind a wooden counter, putting down his knife, he beamed at the small group of people; he spoke with a slight accent, "Hey Al! I haven't seen you in ages! AH! Perry! How are you? Are these your friends?" He quickly turned to a small girl who was sweeping, "Myla! Do we have a table for nine?"

The woman looked up and recoiled at the group of people who stood in the restaurant. She was either surprised by the amount of people in such a small space or the sight of a tall, blond man wearing sunglasses in a building at this time of day. Wiping her hands on the astonishingly clean apron she wore and fixing her ponytail. She hastily set her broom aside and grabbed a pad of paper, "Yes we do have a table for nine, sir." Turning to the group of men, "Follow me please."

Perry smiled back to the shop owner, "Great seeing you again Darryl. Let's catch up while we eat dinner alright?" He turned to follow the waitress to their table.

Darryl called back, "HA! Pay for my share of the food then!"

Perry laughed, "I take my offer back then!"

"We shall see about that!" The chef replied back, gaining the attention of the small group of people seated at the table.

Myla stopped at the back of the restaurant; turning around, she motioned the men to take a seat at the large round table. Once they were all seated she spoke, "So what will it be today?"

Perry answered for the rest of the group. "Dim Sum! Just give us everything. You know the drill when I bring in big groups of people like this right Myla?"

"Of course Perry. Oolong tea for everyone, right?"

"Let's be different today. Green tea."

"Alright. Sounds like a plan. The first round of stuff will be out in about ten minutes. I'll be coming back with your tea right now." Placing the pen behind her ear and pocketing the notepad she walked back towards the counter.

Alastair looked across the table to the other small group of people sitting at the table at the front of the restaurant. They quickly glanced back at him then resumed eating. Perry looked up from his phone, "So Al, it's been ages since I've last heard from you. What's new?"

Alastair looked at the person who spoke and smiled, "Oh nothing much. Other than the new modifications to my car. I've just been going around and DJing at various venues. Gettin' money, gettin' famous. What else can I say?"

Keisuke looked at Alastair incredulously, "What? You mean you have a car as nice as the G35 and you're not racing? You have most of the modifications and set ups for it, and if what you say is true then you're still working on it. Hell, you even debagded it to make it look cooler. It's easy to see that the car was made for the streets and the passes, it seems like a waste if you're not using the car to its full potential."

Alastair looked down at the bottle of soy sauce and turned it over in his hands; it seemed as though Keisuke's statement hit a sensitive spot. "I retired from racing years ago Keisuke. I just outgrew it."

Keisuke stared at the man sitting across from him, behind his sunglasses it was easy to see he was scowling. "You don't outgrow street racing. Once a racer, always a racer. It's our code. You're lying if you say that isn't true."

Alastair placed the little bottle down on the table and raised his hands. "Keisuke, calm down. I can explain."

Keisuke's scowl lessened and he crossed his arms, "Well, I'm waiting on it then. Your explanation better be good."

Alastair sighed, "Well, I just don't have the time for it anymore, I've made many friends on the racing scene" shooting a quick glance at Perry, he smiled, "I even got to meet this fool during one of my runs back in the day."

Perry chuckled, "Hey! I'm not a fool. What are you talking about?"

"You don't race to begin with Perry; if I didn't respect what you do then I'd go as far to call you a poser, but you're not. I'm amazed at the dedication that you show, I remember that you’d come out every night and take shots of everything. You were amazing. You still do that now right?"

Perry nodded, "Heh, you flatter me Al. I just do what I love, the same could be said about you."

"Look who's flattering who now." Alastair sighed, "Anyway, a few years ago I drove around a grey G25 and I obviously raced. I'll have you know though, I wasn't the world's best racer, but I was pretty high in the ranks for the locals. I wasn't technically on a team but I did hang out with a few other guys. I was pretty enigmatic, I would just do my thing and disappear--hence the nickname Grey Ghost. 'Grey Ghost? Oh yeah, that guy sure is mysterious. I wonder if he's the leader of a team or something...' would probably be the response that you'd get from a lot of people if you mentioned my nickname. I guess you can say I did lead my group of friends around; we just kinda did our own thing though, unlike conventional teams we went off on challenges ourselves. It was the high life, every night I would go out, race in a few rounds and then spend a few hours chatting it up with my gang. Racing and everything associated with it was a thrill for me, I loved it. I thought I would never leave this hobby behind. I got to meet so many good people and see tons of exotic cars... but it all happened in one night; a white GT-R--a R33 I think--appeared and I was challenged. You don't see a lot of GT-Rs stateside to begin with so I was honored that I was selected to race against it. We pulled up to the starting line and like that we were off. Normal right? No. This guy played dirty, on the first uphill run I had to fight to stay on the road. He tried to run me off the side of the mountain... and he succeeded on the downhill. Dropped my car into a ravine and drove off. I nearly died that night and on my way to the hospital in that ambulance I realized, I have so much to live for in this life. I can't waste any more time in this destructive cycle of adrenaline and gas. I wasn't destined for it, my car was totaled and I was out of commission for the next month and a half. Do you know what’s it's like? Siting in a hospital bed waiting to get better? I hated being useless, I couldn't stand it, my family was ashamed that I had such a dangerous and immature hobby. Aside from my family, the only other people who would come to visit me frequently were Perry and the few friends who helped me that night. When I was discharged from the hospital I had a new direction in life. I was going to become a music producer; I was going to get a new car and rebuild Grey Ghost, but not to race. That G35 that you see is a symbol of my past, a marker of the friends that I've made and a testament of my strengths as well as my weaknesses. And so now here I stand, I've spilled my guts and I've told my story."

Alastair sighed again, and an awkward silence enveloped the table. For a few moments the other eight men sat around the table contemplating the story. Perry placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Hey Al... Don't worry, as Keisuke said, once a racer, always a racer. We're here for you."

Keisuke suddenly stood up and bowed, "Alastair, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything to sound disrespectful. Thank you for taking the time to tell your story. I'm so sorry about everything that you went through..."

Ryosuke looked at his little brother and smiled, "Hm... this is just about the polar opposite of your normal behavior. Either way it's a good change, thank you Keisuke." He smile mysteriously vanished as he turned to look at Alastair, "You don't see a lot of GT-Rs on this side because of the restrictions and laws that you have to avoid when importing them. I have connections, if you want, I can help you trace the GT-R back to the owner. Do you remember the plate numbers?"

Alastair took the bottle of chili sauce into his hands this time, gazing into the different shades of red and pepper pieces he sighed again, "I just remember that it had Japanese plates... the province number was... 58."

Ryosuke's eyes widened, "The province number was 58. Are you sure?"

"How hard is it to forget the plates of a car that almost killed you? Given I don't remember the rest of it, I just remember seeing these characters..." Alastair put the bottle back on the table and grabbed a napkin. He then hastily scribbled down some kanji and handed it to Ryosuke.

Ryosuke smiled, he placed the napkin on the table and looked at Alastair, "Al, you just make my job a lot easier. The GT-R is from Gunma, I'll do some digging around and get back to you with an answer as soon as possible."

Alastair looked around the table and smiled, "Thank you Ryosuke... Thank you everyone." At that moment Myla popped out from the kitchen carrying a platter of tea pots and matching cups. She placed the platter on the turntable at the center of the table and straightened out her apron again. "Sorry for the wait guys, I was looking for nine matching tea cups." She laughed and started serving the tea, "You don't know how hard it is when Darryl likes to collect different sets of pots and cups."

Perry passed another cup of warm tea to Takumi, "Don’t worry about it Myla, we were just talking anyway. How much longer until the food is ready? Personally, I'm starving!"

"The food is actually ready right now. Let me go grab it then I'll be out of your hair." The little waitress took the empty platter and rushed back into the front of the shop. In less than two minutes she reappeared with an even larger platter of dishes, behind her was the owner of the shop--Darryl--with a plate of Peking duck. Myla placed the platter on the turntable and rushed to get the rest of the food. The chef found an empty spot on the table to put his dish, he wiped his hands on a towel and pulled up a seat between Alastair and Perry. The waitress came back with the last set of dishes, quickly placed them on the table and returned to the counter to man the front. Darryl clapped both of his friends on the back, effectively knocking the air out of them. "How's that guys? This is literally everything I have on the menu, if you somehow manage to finish everything then it's all on me. Promise."

Perry gapped at the feast laid out before him, "Darryl... Do you know what you've done? You're going to lose so much money after tonight!"

The chef chuckled, "Hey, this is the least I can do for a couple of my old friends. Go ahead, I know you guys are hungry. Money is no problem here." He smiled; addressing everyone else, "OKAY GUYS! EAT UP! THIS IS ON ME IF ALL OF YOU MANAGE TO FINISH ALL OF THIS FOOD! READY? GO!"

The other group of people glanced over at them for the last time. Simultaneously they got up, paid the tab and left; the bell rang as they opened the door, the oldest member of the group shot Darryl a questionable glance before walking away. The shop owner looked at the door and laughed as he helped himself to some har gow.


~Chapter 15: Meanwhile… IN JAPAN!~

"GOOD GOD! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MINDS WOULD CALL ME AT THIS TIME OF DAY?! DON’T THEY KNOW I'M TRYING TO SLEEP?" Bunta Fujiwara threw the blanket off to the side as he pushed himself off the old tatami mat. Shuffling through piles of old newspapers and other various pieces of garbage that were strewn around the floor, Bunta managed to get to the phone before it stopped ringing, "Moshi moshi, Jesus desu."

"DAD! DON'T THINK YOU'RE TRICKING ME WITH THAT AGAIN!"

"Oh dang it. It's just you Takumi. So what's going on son?"

"Why do you answer the phone like that now anyway? It sounds stupid and you're not going to trick anyone doing that."

"Hey! From what I've seen, it deters about fifty percent of would be telemarketers. They think I'm some sort of prankster or something. I'm impressed that it works." Bunta slipped on his shoes and walked outside. He took a half crushed pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one. "Now, what did you call me for?"

"Oh yeah. Dad. I have a question for you."

Bunta took a drag of his cigarette and exhaled, replying to his son's request in the most extravagant manner possible, "Ask away my son!"

"Can I ask you to look around for a white R33? It has Gunma plates so I'm sure it's around there somewhere."

"What a strange request. Aren't you in America right now? Why are you trying to send me out to pick fights?"

"No dad, I don't want you to challenge the guy, I just need to find out if he's still in Gunma."

"Okay okay fine. What makes this R33 so important?"

"Umm, well Ryosuke and the others are led to believe that the owner of the R33 nearly killed someone here in the states. We need to find him and confirm that."

"HM! Sounds like you got yourself tangled up in something complicated. Be careful Takumi, I don't want anything happening to you."

"Oh how very funny dad. You just don't want anything to happen to the 86."

"No I'm serious! Be careful, you're in a foreign country, anything can happen you know. When are you coming back anyway?"

"... Oh yeah... About that, we also decided to stay here for an extra month. So I'm not coming back next week. I've already called my boss and everything, looks like you'll be doing the morning runs for the rest of the month."

"WHAT!? Are you serious boy?!" Bunta bit on his cigarette.

"Yeah, sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

He looked up to the noon sky, a few wispy clouds hung high up in the crystal blue, it was beautiful day, "It's fine, you deserve a vacation anyway, just be sure to get me something when you come back ok?"

"Sure thing dad. Well I should be going now, we're about to hit the open air markets. Do you want anything specific?"

"Yeah, how about a lighter in the shape of that one statue... you know, the one of the lady holding a torch?"

"That's the Statue of Liberty and that's in New York. I'm in California. But I'll see what I can do."

"Ha, you better come home with one or else I'm not paying you for the deliveries for the next two months!"

"WHAT? NOT FAIR!"

"Hey, life isn't fair kiddo. Well, have fun. I'm going out now. Talk to you later."

"Ok, bye dad."

"Bye son."

Takumi took the phone away from his ear and pressed the red end call button. Ryosuke and the others looked at him quizzically. Alastair spoke up, "Well Takumi, how did it go?"

Takumi looked up from his phone and grinned, "It worked. My dad's out looking for the R33 now."

Alastair clapped Takumi on the back, "Awesome! Thank you so much Takumi! How many R33s are there in Gunma anyway?"

"Not too many. White is one of the more popular colors for the R33, but there a bit hard to find in Gunma because they cost so much money to maintain and service. I've only seen a few on the street and most of them are owned by rich old people." Ryosuke answered, his eyes focused on something far away.

"Well then it shouldn't be too hard for your dad to spot one right Takumi?" Alastair asked.

"Uh, yeah... I just hope he didn't mean go out to the bar when he said go out. It's almost impossible to understand anything he says."

Perry spoke up, "Well you said that we were hitting the open air markets right Takumi?"

"Yeah..."

"Well! We can't lie to your dad right? Let's go before the night crowds gather! Anyway we need to work off all that food. I can't believe that we managed to finish everything that Darryl threw at us. I feel bad for the guy now..."

Everyone laughed and like that they were off down the street walking along with the crowd to the street markets.



Look forward to more updates soon! I'm in the writing mood! laugh2.gif

[ This post was made possible by the new multiquote function™ ]

Posted by: Meteor Jun 24 2012, 04:19 PM
Keisuke seemed slightly out-of-character to me somewhere in this part, but only slightly. And it's nothing that requires fixing.
QUOTE
Keisuke looked at Alastair incredulously, "What? You mean you have a car as nice as the G35 and you're not racing? You have most of the modifications and set ups for it, and if what you say is true then you're still working on it. Hell, you even debagded it to make it look cooler. It's easy to see that the car was made for the streets and the passes, it seems like a waste if you're not using the car to its full potential."

Alastair looked down at the bottle of soy sauce and turned it over in his hands; it seemed as though Keisuke's statement hit a sensitive spot. "I retired from racing years ago Keisuke. I just outgrew it."

Keisuke stared at the man sitting across from him, "You don't outgrow street racing. Once a racer, always a racer. It's our code. You're lying if you say that isn't true."


Always nice to get to updates to this fic - and nice work again. These two chapters are also filler-ish, but they're good despite that.

Let me try out a quicker method of pointing out what was done well here. . .

Well, the start of Ch. 14 quickly picked up from where the last chapter left off, with good dialogue plus that mention of Perry regaining his composure that really helps you see the scene. Then a wise decision to just mention everyone getting introduced to each other rather than actually writing it out in detail, keeping the writing well paced. Further decent writing that also builds off the previous chapter and gives a good reason for these characters to decide to head out to a restaurant, then some more good writing that quickly puts the setting into your head. The description of the restaurant in particular really helps you see it. And that's good because that's where the rest of this chapter is going to take place.

Two new characters appear and their introduction is non-intrusive. Nice touch with Myla recoiling at either the sight of so many customers at once or the sight of Keisuke wearing sunglasses, or perhaps both.

Decent dialogue between Darryl and Perry. And it's interesting how a detail as small as this:
QUOTE
Perry answered for the rest of the group. "Dim Sum! Just give us everything. You know the drill when I bring in big groups of people like this right Myla?"

"Of course Perry. Oolong tea for everyone, right?"

"Let's be different today. Green tea."

"Alright. Sounds like a plan. The first round of stuff will be out in about ten minutes. I'll be coming back with your tea right now." Placing the pen behind her ear and pocketing the notepad she walked back towards the counter.

Somehow added something to the chapter.

So now we get some conversation going and eventually get some backstory on Alastair. Quick, but not in a way that felt rushed. Ryousuke's mention of being able to the trace that GT-R and offering to do so felt like a very natural progression from there and adds some more of that "something's gonna happen later" feel into the story.
Not entirely sure about Al being able to remember the Kanji so well (unless he can already read Kanji and I just don't know) but I guess it's necessary for this plot-point to come about.

Food time! Better finish all that, guys.

I wonder if that other group of customers is going to end up showing up again later on. And now for the one typo in this chapter + a nitpick.
QUOTE
The other group of people glanced over that them for the last time. Simultaneously they got up, paid the tab and left; the bell rang as they opened the door, the oldest member of the group shot Darryl a questionable glance before walking away. The shop owner looked at the door and laughed as he helped himself to some har gow.

The nitpick:
QUOTE
Alastair looked across the table to the other small group of people sitting at the table at the front of the restaurant. They quickly glanced back at him and resumed eating.

I think changing the "and" to a "then" would make the last sentence here work better.

Onto Chapter 15. . . . Oh look it's Bunta!
"Moshi moshi, Jesus desu."
Heh. There must be a lot of telemarketers calling him if he regularly ends up using that laugh.gif

The "Ask away my son!" line kinda doesn't sound like something Bunta would say, but again, nothing problematic here. Anyway, nice dialogue in this chapter too and good expanding on the latest plot-point.

QUOTE
Look forward to more updates soon! I'm in the writing mood!

Looking forward. Please provide more chapters smile.gif


(Why does it take me so long to write these reviews? The review itself wasn't even that lengthy.)

As for what happens to Talumi and Dav: Once I come up with the next chapter, I'll either PM it to you or post it in my next post here.

Posted by: Saxifrage Jun 25 2012, 01:15 AM
Great story there..
Looking forward to how Bunta is gonna find a R33 in Gunma rolleyes.gif

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Jul 13 2012, 10:43 PM
QUOTE (Me @ Jun 22 2012, 12:28AM)
Look forward to more updates soon! I'm in the writing mood!

Well it looks like I lied to you guys. I'm really sorry if everyone has been waiting on a huge update or something since it's been a while since I posted anything here. I've been busy with a lot of other things and I have a feeling that the updates are going to now shrink to one chapter posts like this one. Never fear though! I am still writing, but I'm going through plot scenarios and seeing which ones I like. It's getting tough though, I have a whole world open to me and I can only choose one path to follow. laugh2.gif

I thank everyone who is still reading though. Thank you for dealing with these disgustingly slow updates and thank you for your continued support, it really means a lot to me. smile.gif

QUOTE (Meteor @ Jun 24 2012, 05:19 PM)
Being as awesome as usual.

Thank you for the sweet review Meteor! It really makes my heart feel warm when I see you post in this thread. I've taken the liberty of applying some minor changes here or there. I guess I'm really having fun with Bunta's character though, I modeled him after a mild troll dad. You mad? troll.gif

QUOTE (Nicholas86 @ Jun 25 2012, 02:15 AM)
Great story there..
Looking forward to how Bunta is gonna find a R33 in Gunma rolleyes.gif

I'm working on the R33 thing right now actually. It will come back in a later chapter but for now. One more filler. I'm sorry I'm being so boring with all this boring fluff right now, I promise that things will explode by the time Chapter 20 rolls around. After that though I don't know how long this is actually going to run. derp.gif


Ok Chapter 16 of Beyond the Horizon. GO! I hope you guys enjoy! happy.gif



~Chapter 16: Market Hustle~

The cool evening air mixed with the heat of the downtown providing the back drop to a picture perfect shopping night. Cars cruised down the street while pedestrians buzzed to and fro; stopping only at the sight of the red hand that marked that it was not their turn to cross. The group of nine men walked together down the street, striding past the boutiques and vintage store fronts. They continued down the street for a few blocks and before long the tall business buildings gave way to smaller old buildings. The scenery changed and the purple sky opened up before them. Without even thinking about it, Fumihiro walked into a small record shop; everyone else had no choice but to follow. Weaving through the crowd and ducking underneath the tiny doorway the rest of the group walked into the warmly lit store. It was small and unassuming; rows of neat shelves and bins filled with vinyl records took up most of the shop, there was a glass shelf that displayed rare music related oddities, and a few boxes of posters and wall hangings in the corner; but other than that the store was completely void of people. The front counter had the standard cash register and a few worn out records hung from the wall; the old shop keeper, who was seated on a high stool, looked up from his newspaper and greeted this large group of customers with a wave and went back to reading. Fumihiro went straight to the 'Y' section and dove right in, shuffling through the records with an inhuman sense of determination. The rest of the group stood dumbfounded at the end of the aisle looking around in the small store in an attempt to find something that they recognized. This wasn’t hard for Alastair; his face lit up and he walked over to the house/techno section leaving everyone else to continue watching Fumihiro in confusion. Takumi resigned to look down at his phone when someone bumped into him. "Woah! I'm sorry!"

Takumi glanced up from his phone to see a tall lanky boy about his age checking the small stack albums in his hand. "Oh... Sorry, did you break anything?"

"No, everything looks good. Thanks." The boy walked towards the 'Y' Section where Fumihiro stood, still shuffling through the stacks.

Takumi shrugged and looked back at his phone, it suddenly dawned on him that he was the only one left standing in the aisle. Quickly glancing around in panic he saw that everyone else had diffused into the store; Alastair was still shuffling through the techno tracks, Perry was looking at the foreign records, Tomiguchi and Kenta were perusing through the 'B' albums, Matsumoto was in the new releases section, Ryosuke joined Fumihiro and the kid at the 'Y' shelf, and Keisuke stepped outside to take a smoke. Takumi regained his composure and strode over to the group standing before the box of records labeled 'Y'. Everyone was looking curiously at one particular vinyl that was now propped up against the rest of the shelf. Takumi was the only one left out of the loop, "Hey guys, what is this we're looking at?"

"... A Yellow Magic Orchestra album... Solid State Survivor... the only one I don't have yet..." Fumihiro managed to stammer out.

The unnamed kid jumped back at the mention of Yellow Magic Orchestra, "Woah! You know about YMO?!?"

Fumihiro looked at the speaker with surprise, "Who doesn't know YMO?"

"You'll be shocked, a lot of people don't know about them here." The kid looked down at the few records he had in his hands.

"Were you looking for this album too?"

"Actually yes. I was sorting through the other bins first before getting here. But since you found it first I guess it is rightfully yours..." The boy looked dejected beyond all belief. He turned to the counter to pay for his purchases and leave.
Fumihiro picked up the album and turned it over in his hands, "Hey kid!"

The boy stopped in his tracks and turned to face the group of people standing before the box of records. "Hm?"

"What’s your name?"

"Zach."

"Well Zach, you can have this album. I know it's a Japan only release and probably very hard to find in the states. I'm sure I can get something when I get back home anyway. I was just looking through these stacks for kicks anyhow. Take it, it's yours."

The boy's face suddenly lit up with ecstasy and joy as he ran back to accept the record from Fumihiro, "Wow! Are you serious?!" Fumihiro smiled and nodded, "Thank you so much! But I can't take this from you without learning what your name is." He hastily stuck his stack of records under his arm and held his hand out,
"I'm Zach, and it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Hiroshi Fumihiro. Just call me Fumihiro though, and the pleasure's all mine." Shaking Zach's hand.

"Did I hear someone say Zach?"

They turned to look at the shelf behind them Alastair was peeking over the sign marked 'Z' with a look of surprise. He stepped out and joined in the circle, "It's been a few months Zach. How the heck have you been?!?" He wrestled the kid into a playful half-Nelson.

"Ow, hey Al! I haven't seen you in ages. I've been good, as you can see..." Holding up the albums, to show him his musical finds "I'm still doing my thing, collecting records. I've snuck into a couple of your gigs and I must say. You've made it big since the last time I saw you."

Releasing his victim and scratching the back of his head, Al replied, "Oh Zach! You give me too much credit! Anyhow, let's pay for your stuff and get outta here. These guys need to hit the open air markets before it gets too late."

"Oh! Is it ok if I tag along too?"

"SURE! The more the merrier I say!"

Across the store, Perry held up a random album and exclaimed, "OH MY GOD YES!"

Five minutes later, the old shop owner was grinning ear to ear and belting out 'thank you' after 'thank you' followed by 'please come again' as the group of ten exited the store.

The cool night breeze greeted the men as they walked into the sidewalk, boxes of vinyl in hand. Perry looked at Zach and a look of sudden realization dawned upon him, "Zach!?! What are you doing here!?"

The kid smiled sheepishly at the rest of the group, "You don't mind if I join you guys right?"

"Of course you can join us!" Looking around at everyone else's confused face he quickly added, "Oh of course! Where are my manners? Zach, this is Project D."

After a very quick round of introductions Zach continued the conversation, it took a few moments for the shock to sink in, "PROJECT D?! Are you serious? You actually went through with your plan?!"

Perry chuckled, "Why does everyone think I was bluffing when I said I would invite them to America?"

"Because this is such a huge task for one person to carry out! Did Lena help you with this?"

Perry adopted a disheartened look, "Yeah Lena helped me, but so did a lot of other people. But no one ever gives me enough credit..."

"I'm just messing with you Perry! A lot of people helped you set up for this thing and it has been months in the making." Addressing the rest of the group, "I'm glad that you guys all made it to America safely. I hope you enjoy your stay here!"

Ryosuke spoke up, "Thank you Zach, may I ask how a young man such as yourself came to know both Perry and Alastair? It seems as though everyone that we meet knows these two in some way, shape, or form."

"Ah, I know these two from the local racing scene!"

Takumi chimed in, "So you race?"

"Not exactly, I just got my license about a year ago actually and I've been working on modifying my car; but at my age, money and jobs are scarce so it's slow going. Not to mention that I'm also a fellow music producer like Al. I don't think I'll be able to ever fully get into the local teams at the rate I'm going." Zach sighed.

"What exactly do you drive?" Fumihiro inquired.

"Oh, I inherited my dad's old Renault Alpine A610."

Silence ensued as the rest of the group was trying to figure out if that was a car brand or a sneeze. Ryosuke gazed at the young man with a curious expression on his face, a small smirk across his face and he shrugged keeping silent.

"I wouldn't be surprised if no one knew what my car is. Renault is a French automotive company. Here, let me show you where I parked it. It's not too far from here."

Zach led the group past another city block and turned into a quiet parking lot, aside from the light posts that were sporadically placed every few spaces, the lot was empty. Behind a brick wall there it sat, the lone star in the dark; a sunshine yellow Renault Alpine A610.



Thank you for reading guys! Look forward to more updates. Hopefully as I add characters they will come out of the wood work to post their thoughts about how the story is going or how they like their character representations. You guys know who you are. Post dang it! laugh2.gif

EDIT: Since the filters are gone, I've gone back and changed Newt Gingrich back to Perry.


[ This post was made possible by the new multiquote function™ ]

Posted by: Saxifrage Jul 13 2012, 11:10 PM
QUOTE (THE_HONDA_CG2 @ 26 minutes, 53 seconds ago)
Takumi resigned to look down AS his phone when someone bumped into him.

Is that supposed to be "at"?

Anyway, take it slowly....Life is really busy sometimes(more like all the time)..........

Posted by: Meteor Jul 16 2012, 12:11 PM
As a reward for updating this fic, here's the continuation you requested.
SPOILER


Anyway, liked reading this chapter too. And I really liked the description of the character's surroundings as they walked around downtown. Fumihiro deciding to heading into a record store came out of nowhere, but still stayed credible since Initial D never really revealed much about him anyway, so for all we know this could be completely in-character for him. Liked all the other descriptions of the settings in this chapter too. Writing was nice as always, so this chapter also avoided being boring despite the filler aspect of it.
Haven't found any typos in it so far besides the one Nicholas already pointed out, but I do have another nitpick for you.
QUOTE
Takumi shrugged and looked back at his phone, it suddenly dawned on him that he was the only one left standing in the aisle. Quickly glancing around in panic he saw that everyone else had diffused into the store; Alastair was still shuffling through the techno tracks, etc.etc.etc.

I'm thinking the paragraph this was taken from would read better if the underlined part ended with a full-stop instead. But I might be wrong here. EDIT: I am wrong here.

The fact that even Ryousuke didn't know what a Renault was felt weird to me though. Renault isn't a particularly obscure brand so atleast he should be able to recognize the name. And I'm thinking our glorious leader might be able to recognize the name too.

By the way, the word filter now seems to replace all instances of our glorious leader's name with Newt Gingrich. You might need to bypass the filter if this is still going on by the time you have the next chapter ready (and bypassing it is possible, last time I checked). Just letting you know.


Keep the chapters coming smile.gif

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Jul 16 2012, 01:15 PM
Thank you for the feedback Nicholas86 and Meteor. I'm looking over the chapter again and rewriting some stuff here and there but there isn't much I can do without making it seem super different. Ryosuke does know what Renault is, but he's being mysterious as usual. I'm working on the next chapter as we speak so it should be up within the month. How do you guys want it? A race between Alastair and Project D or shall I cut back to Japan and see how Bunta is doing? The path of the story can go either way and all you have to do is choose. happy.gif

EDIT: Holy crap, I totally just noticed this Newt Gingrich business. I think I'll wait for the post testing to finish up at the moment. Meanwhile let me just sit here and laugh at it. laugh2.gif

Posted by: Meteor Jul 16 2012, 01:28 PM
A race between Alastair and Project D right now sounds really sudden, so what Bunta's up to in Japan sounds like the better idea to me. It might be a nice change of pace for the fic. And then there's also that whole business with the R33 thing for Bunta to look into.

Posted by: Saxifrage Jul 17 2012, 12:03 AM
I would like to see how Bunta searches for a R33 cool.gif
A race between Alastair and Project D can be hold off for now.

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Jul 17 2012, 07:05 AM
Excellent. Its like you guys can read my mind or something. I'm already finished with the first draft of the chapter and guess who's in it! I'm working on adding the final details and such. I know this week, I should have quite a bit of time set aside for writing so hold on to your seats! Its about to get real in here! biggrin.gif


EDIT: Ok guys, I'm holding to my promise and posting up the next chapter now. I know it seems like Bunta is out of character, but this is my version of him. Hate it if you want, but I rather like it like this. If I get enough complaints then I will rewrite his character. Now I present you Chapter 17. Chapter 18 will take a while for me to finish, but I hope that means it will be good! happy.gif




~Chapter 17: Flash You Back~

As this area of high pressure hits the Kanto region we will be experiencing increased temperatures. Authorities advise that the elderly and people with existing conditions to minimize their exposure to the sun. For those who will be going out, remember to stay hydrated and safe. Local community centers in the...

The local weather forecast was interrupted by the sudden rustling of a stack of newspaper collapsing on itself as Bunta Fujiwara rummaged through the messy living room for the keys to his beloved Impreza. The room was a mess; cans of beer on the floor, a stack of unwashed dishes on the table, various piles of trash and laundry strewn about the four corners of the room and a heap of now knocked down newspapers. The man of the house was going around the small room shoveling the debris from the ground into a garbage bag to no effect. The only place where the original tatami mat was visible was a large oval roughly the size of Bunta himself, off to the side was the blanket he threw off to the side in a rush to answer the phone earlier in the day. He stepped on the TV remote changing the channel to the next news station.

The heat wave is causing more trouble in the Tokyo area. Rolling blackouts have been reported in the Shibuya and Shinjuku districts. Officials say that the problem will continue into the next week and urge all to conserve electricity during the peak hours by going to community centers or the malls to escape the heat. The heat has taken its toll...

"WHERE ARE THE KEYS TO MY IMPREZA!?!" Bunta kicked an empty can out of the way in frustration. With Takumi gone, there was no one to do the chores and the living quarters quickly fell into a state of disarray since the start of the heat wave. To save and reduce electricity usage, the man took up residence in the lower level of the house instead of his regular room on the second floor. But as soon as that decision was made, the living room instantly gained the appearance of a landfill. The clock that hung from the wall watched the proceedings as Bunta continued to shovel empty food wrappers and cans into the black bag while heaping the laundry into a single pile in the corner. "Damn kid... leave me alone for a month to clean this house all by myself. And then he calls me out of the blue, not to check how I'm doing, NO! He calls me to tell me to look for a car. The nerve of kids these days. Absolutely no respect for their elders." He continued to rummage through the things on the floor picking up dirty articles of clothing and tossing them into the growing pile of laundry that needed to be done. He cleared the dishes and various magazines off the table to no avail. He was finally cleaning the living room, but not finding what he was looking for. "Ugh, why is this room such a mess in the first place? We've only had three mahjong nights so far and it looks like a tornado hit this place." Clearing the last few pieces of trash off the floor the only thing left was the light summer futon that sat by the TV, unnoticed and--mostly--unused it was the last place anyone would ever think of hiding their own set of keys under. "If this is where the keys are hidden here I swear... Yuichi better have some explaining to do." Stepping up to the last item on the floor, he eyed it with malice, with one heave of the patterned blanket Bunta saw it. The six silver stars that marked the Pleiades constellation against a deep blue emblem on the handle of the key. The keys to his Subaru Impreza.

"Yuichi... that bastard!" Bunta grinned and quickly finished cleaning up the room. Tying up the bag of garbage and tossing it outside he went back into the small living room and turned the TV off. He looked at the pile of laundry underneath the clock. "That can wait till I get back." He smirked, leaving the laundry to be done after he finished his task, he strolled to the bathroom on the second floor with his last change of clean clothes.

A chorus of cicadas greeted Bunta as he slipped into his Impreza, it was late in the afternoon and the sun was at still its peak. There was no shade in the small alleyway and the heat from the sun reflected off the midnight blue chassis creating a small area of distortion around the car. "Crap! Ow ow ow! I forgot this summer weather turns this damn car into an oven, ugh." Shuffling around in the car he attempted to cover the seat with the basketball shorts he was wearing. "Ok let's go." Turning the key in the ignition, Bunta smiled as the car rumbled to life. The orange needles on the dashboard swept across the gauges and settled back in their usual positions except for one. Bunta stopped and peered at the gas gauge. "Are you kidding me?" Tapping on the glass as if to urge the needle to swing back to the FULL mark, "I have to fill up on gas? Damn it." Resigning to his fate, Bunta quickly pulled the car into drive and sped down the street to his local gas station.

"HEY IKETANI! You can go on lunch break now!"

"Thank you boss!" as the young man ran back to a parked Nissan Slivia and slid into the driver's seat. The jade car sprang to life and pulled out of the lot into the busy street.

A blue car rolled into the ESSO gas station as the owner walked out, "Welcome! How may we help you to--BUNTA! What brings you out to these parts today?"

The old man killed the engine and stepped out of the car. Digging around in his pockets he drew forth the last crushed cigarette from his pack and lit it. "Hey Yuichi, fill 'er up. High octane."

"Sure." The owner of the shop started his work, looking over his shoulder to his friend he continued, "It's strange seeing you out here at this time of day, the bars aren't even open yet!"

"Is it wrong for me to get out of the shop every once in a while?"

"No no! Nothing like that. I'm just wondering."

"Yuichi, I know what you did. You bastard. You think you can hide the keys to my car from me?"

Yuichi gave a mischievous smirk, "Why Bunta. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me. I found my keys under that futon. Don't think for a second I forgot that you were over at my place just the other night for a few rounds of mahjong."

"So what if that was me? You can't prove it."

"You're mad you lost so much money the other night. I know your game Yuichi. We've been friends for how long?"

"Ok ok fine. I seriously need to stop gambling with you before you run me into the ground. Anyway, what ARE you doing out here?"

"Takumi asked me to find a car."

"What?"

"Yeah, that's what I said. Well he wants me to find a white R33 with Gunma plates."

"That shouldn't be too hard right? There aren't too many of those around these parts. Do you know if it has any modifications?"

"Nope. He was pretty vague, just a white R33 from this area. Do you know the chances it is still here?"

Yuichi left the pump and took a seat next to his friend, taking out a cigarette for himself he took a drag and sighed thoughtfully, "It's probably still here. Knowing your luck you shouldn't have trouble finding it."

Bunta chuckled, "Hey! Just because I beat you at mahjong all the time doesn't mean that I'm lucky! You just never know when to stop playing."

Nudging his friend, "BAH! I'm not kidding here Bunta. You're going to find this R33!" The quiet click of the gas pump signaled that the tank was full. Throwing the butt of his cigarette down and getting up, Yuichi suddenly adopted a serious tone, "What are you going to do when you do find it?"

Bunta did the same with his cigarette sighing, "I don't know. Contact Takumi and let him know I guess. Maybe I'll sit down and have a chat with the guy."

"You're too spontaneous man." The boss walked over the car and finished up, recapping the gas tank he turned back to his friend, "Well, I'll keep an eye out for it too. Good luck Bunta."

Taking a few bills from his pocket and handing them to the shop owner, he walked back to his car. "Heh, thanks Yuichi. I'll give you a call when I find it, then we can celebrate at the bar. If I find it first then you're paying my tab."

"Is that a challenge Bunta?" Yuichi had a small grin on his face, "I'll take you up on that then. Now get out of here."

"You don't have to tell me twice." He slipped into his waiting car and started the engine.

Yuichi waved as the Impreza pulled out of the gas station. Bunta shook his head as the watched his friend retreat back into the shelter of the air conditioned office. Turning the air condition dial on max and thumbing the stereo button on the dashboard the midnight blue beast roared down the street towards an unknown destination.



Yay! A new chapter within a week! I hope I didn't disappoint! smile.gif

Posted by: Perry Jul 20 2012, 07:23 PM
Oh my goodness!! I can't believe I am a good SEVEN chapters behind. @_@ I apologize for my lateness in replying your thread! Once I am done with my current project, I'll give you a detailed comment post. smile.gif

Posted by: Meteor Jul 23 2012, 04:44 PM
This take on Bunta is unexpected, but interesting and not entirely out of character. It actually felt like Bunta could be like this.

At the risk of being repetitive through pointing out things you consistently do well anyway. . . .
Nice work establishing the different settings yet again and nice job with the characters yet again. You can really see everything in this chapter play out in vivid detail.
The italised text at the start, Bunta searching for his keys, plus the quick, clear descriptions of the state the room is in shows you a TV turned to the news in a messy room that really looks messy; and also shows you what Bunta's up to while really integrating him into this setting.

It is surprising that the room would get that messy just because Takumi's not around, but the mention of the three mahjong nights explains it away. And the mention of - and explanation for - Bunta switching residence to the ground-floor felt in-character since Bunta actually is a bit of miser.
We now see Bunta cleaning his room. Clear descriptions here help visualization and Bunta's monologues keep it all from being boring. And now he's found his keys.

Once he's done preparing to go out we see another good example of how to establish a setting. There are much fewer words used for it this time and you can still hear the cicadas and see just how hot the weather outside is. And Bunta reacts to it appropriately.

Bunta wearing basketball shorts; and outdoors too. . . . Don't think I'll ever get used to that.

Nice description of the car starting up. And now Bunta knows it's low on fuel. . . So off to a certain gas station.

Iketani drives out, Bunta drives in, we see Bunta and Yuichi/Yuuichi/Yuiichi/Yuuiichi/howthefuckshouldIspellthis talk to each other and get some nice dialogue in the process. Plus some few descriptions here later on to help further with visualization and keep this part from just being a wall of dialogue.

And Bunta's off to an unknown destination. I want to know what happens next.

Typos:
QUOTE
"If this is the keys are hidden here I swear... Yuichi better have some explaining to do."

QUOTE
Bunta stopped and peered at the gas gage. "Are you kidding me?"

QUOTE
"Heh, thanks Yuichi. I'll give you a call then I find it, we can celebrate at the bar. If I find it first then you're paying my tab."

QUOTE
Turning the air condition dial on max and thumbing the stereo button (missing word) the dashboard the midnight blue beast roared down the street towards an unknown destination.

For the third one, you could also change that comma to a full-stop.

Two comma-related nitpicks:
QUOTE
The man of the house was going around the small room shoveling the debris from the ground into a garbage bag to no effect, the only place where the original tatami mat was visible was a large oval roughly the size of Bunta himself, off to the side was the blanket he threw off to the side in a rush to answer the phone earlier in the day.

The first comma doesn't work well. EDIT: And now I find that the first comma was alright and it's the second comma that was problematic (needs an "and" there instead"). Meh, no need for you to bother fixing it. Sorry about getting this wrong the first time 'round. Don't know what I was thinking then.
QUOTE
Stepping up to the last item on the floor, he eyed it with malice, with one heave of the patterned blanket Bunta saw it, the six silver stars that marked the Pleiades constellation against a deep blue emblem on the handle of the key. The keys to his Subaru Impreza.

And here the second comma doesn't work well.

So, anymore quick updates coming up? Because I still like reading these smile.gif

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Aug 19 2012, 04:00 PM
QUOTE (Perry @ Jul 20 2012, 08:23 PM)
Oh my goodness!! I can't believe I am a good SEVEN chapters behind. @_@ I apologize for my lateness in replying your thread! Once I am done with my current project, I'll give you a detailed comment post. smile.gif


You're only going to get more behind if you don't step up your game Perry! Just kidding, updates are coming around slower as I have been suffering major writer's block, but hopefully that will go away as time goes on. I'm getting more and more excited about Fifth Stage so I'll probably be thinking about my story more as we get closer to the date. I hope you're not getting overworked with that project of yours! smile.gif

QUOTE (Meteor @ Jul 23 2012, 05:44 PM)
This take on Bunta is unexpected, but interesting and not entirely out of character. It actually felt like Bunta could be like this.

So, anymore quick updates coming up? Because I still like reading these smile.gif


Thanks for the corrections Meteor, I've fixed up a couple of things here and there. I don't know what I would do without you man, you're a lifesaver! Thank you! Sorry about not updating this faster. pinch2.gif

Bunta is a troll dad, didn't I mention that already? I'm actually modeling him a bit after my dad just for fun. If you talk to me enough on the IRC or on skype or just chatting with me in general you might be able to see where I get the casual father/son relationship. It's really tough to explain, if you really want to find out more about it though, don't hesitate to jump into the IRC and ask me! I would be more than happy to explain/tell everyone about the funny stories that my dad and I share.


Ok, enough of me jabbering away pointlessly, you guys want this chapter huh? Well then, enjoy! Chapter 18! Hopefully I didn't disappoint! A huge thank you to everyone who is out there reading, if you have any thoughts, comments, or questions don't hesitate to post here! I promise I don't bite! happy.gif



~Chapter 18: Searching~

♪Station to station play with emotion, wanna lead a new revolution!~♫

The Impreza continued up Mount Akina sliding through the turns with ease. Of course it was the middle of the day and there were other cars going up and down the mountain but that never really mattered to the master of the beast. The car sped up the road as a dragon would, reaching for the heavens; the boxer engine roared in delight as it reached the peak.

♪Station to station ready for action, gotta feel the power inside you!~♫

The Impreza started down the mountain heading for the expressway that led to Mount Akagi. Bunta sighed as he peered over the center of the dashboard while digging around the glove compartment in the middle of a drift, looking for a new pack of cigarettes. Touching the wheel lightly the car tipped out of its drift and continued down the street. "AH! Here we go." Bunta took the new pack of cigarettes and straightened up; he professionally opened the cellophane pack with one hand and shook the box. A single cigarette answered the call; Bunta balanced it on his lower lip and reached for the lighter in the cup holder. Opening the lid and clicking the flint, a small flame started to dance; touching the fire to the tip he inhaled. The tip ignited with an orange glow before Bunta snapped the lid closed. He gazed at the downhill before him.

♪Run away far from here, you better run tonight…~♫

Admittingly, it was very noisy in the car but over the sound of the stereo, air condition, and the hum of the boxer engine itself another car was heard. Instinctively Bunta wound the AC off and turned the stereo down. A few seconds later the unfamiliar roar of another engine was heard and in the rear view mirror a white flash, a white GT-R. Bunta took his cigarette out and laughed, "THIS IS TOO EASY! YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY?" He downshifted and turned the stereo and AC back on.

♪Modem talking, modem walking in the streets. New DES-I-RE!~♫

It didn't surprise Bunta as the GT-R continued to follow the Impreza down the road, both of the cars were downhill monsters and the street ahead of them was their battle arena. It was easy to see from the way the opponent handled his car that the guy knew what he was doing, the white car slid effortlessly around the turns; almost as effortlessly as the blue car. This was the first real challenge for Bunta since Ken Kogashiwa all those years ago; this was only the beginning of one hell of a race. Bunta inched the driver’s side window down and flicked the cigarette butt out of the car, the moment it hit the ground it was crushed by sixteen hundred kilograms of raging white steel. Bunta lit another cigarette and checked his rear view mirror, all he saw was the glare of the darkened windshield; he nearly dropped his smoke in surprise, "Woah, this guy is good. He's following my line, but how can he be following me so closely?" The sound of the GT-R backfiring answered the question for him. "Oh right, this guy is local. This is his turf too. I really have to sit down and talk to this him after all this is over." He downshifted again and passed a jade Silvia going the speed limit.

♪Rage your dream, toki o kakenukete yuku kaze mo hikari michite yuku…~♫

"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HECK ARE THESE TWO GUYS THINKING RACING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY?!?"

Koichiro Iketani sat behind the wheel of his S13 with a look of utter surprise on his face gazing blankly after the two high end Japanese sports cars that just passed him at a blazing one-hundred and ten kilometers per hour while he was cruising at a cool sixty kmph. Mako Sato shared his same astonished face, she looked at her boyfriend, "Iketani, are you ok?"

"Yeah... I'm just a bit shaken, don't worry Mako. Just... getting passed by an Impreza and a GT-R... That Impreza looks familiar too... Could it be Takumi's dad?"

"It could be... Just concentrate on driving Iketani."

♪Get the satellite, if you want to see me! Talking on the net, I know the way you like it…~♫

Bunta grinned as he rounded another turn, the boom of the boxer engine was better than a fifty piece orchestra any day. "GET YOUR CREDIT CARD, IF YOU WANT TO SEE ME! ALL I WANNA GET. IS. YOU. BABY! RUNNING IN THE NINTIES!" Bunta was giddy with excitement as he exited the apex of the corner. The Impreza straightened out and flew down the last straightaway before the official start of the expressway. The GT-R fell behind during that turn in a sloppy drift; it was obvious, the grip on the tires of the white car was gone. Bunta glanced over his shoulder and saw the inconspicuous flash of high beams in the middle of the day, the race was over; the victor was already determined. Letting off the throttle and slipping the car into neutral, the Impreza cruised into the parking lot of a roadside café with the GT-R following. Parking next to each other, the engines of the beasts were silenced at the same time; with a sigh Bunta clicked the door open and pushed himself out of the car, bringing himself to full height and looking over the roof of his car at the tinted driver's side window of the R33.

Bunta had time to rummage through his car for a bottle of water and light the third cigarette of his pack before the muffled click of the door lock opening was heard. Bunta placed his bottle of water on the roof of the car and tensed up as the door opened and a disappointed groan was heard. "Oh no. The grips on these new tires are gone! What am I going to tell my dad!?" The young woman who stepped out of the GT-R rushed around to inspect her car completely ignoring the older gentleman who just defeated her in a road race. Bunta snuffed the cigarette out on the sole of his shoe and approached the girl who was frantically looking at the rear of the car and shaking her head at the sight of the bald tires. When he was about a meter away she glanced at him and stood up; being the observant man he was, Bunta saw that she was no older than Takumi and very VERY attractive according to the long white sundress she was wearing. She jumped at the sight of the old guy looking back at her, bowing deeply her long black hair cascaded down her shoulders, "Oh! Sorry! Thank you for the race; it's been a while since I had a challenge like this..." Looking back at her car, "But I think I might have pushed it a little too far."

Bunta smiled and scratched his cheek, "Heh, sorry. I guess this is my fault for going a bit too hard on you. It's been a really long time since I was able to mess around like that on any road." The steady ticking of the engine cooling kept the time, ten seconds of awkward silence. "OH! Now where are my manners?" Taking a step forward and extending a hand he introduced himself, "Bunta Fujiwara. It was a pleasure racing you."

The girl returned the handshake, "Katsuko Tomoyuki. You can just call me Katsuko, and the pleasure is all mine sir." She smiled and looked at the Impreza. "Such a powerful car..." She paused, looking for a way to address the older man.

Bunta laughed and also looked at his car, "No need to be so formal, Katsuko. If you ask me to call you by your first name then it’s only right if you address me by my first. Just call me Bunta." She looked at the old man gazing lovingly at his own car, he continued. "There is still so much to be done to this car... It's far from perfect." He looked at the GT-R, "I'm surprised you can drive this car so well at your age. It takes a lot of skill, from the sound of the engine it must be heavily tuned. Did you do all this yourself?"

Katsuko sat on the lip of the trunk, her white dress blending in perfectly with the body of the car. "No. My father did most of the work quite some time ago when he was still racing. He has since retired from the scene and bought himself another car."

"To work on?"

"No just to drive to work and back. He's grown out of the racing business. The car was supposed to go to my older brother but he’s too busy with medical school to learn how to drive something like this. I will admit it though, this car is one tough ride!" A dry summer breeze swept through the pass, Katsuko pulled a stray strand of hair out of the way and stood up. "My, it is hot today. Would you like to continue our conversation inside Mr. Fujiwara?"

Bunta smiled, "I was just about to ask you that."

"Well then, what are we waiting for? Since you won the race this will be my treat!" She started for the entrance to the café, her dress billowing behind her as she walked. Bunta stared for a bit before following, the only thought in his mind, 'Yuichi is never going to believe this!' and with a renewed spring in his step he ran forward to get the door for the young lass.


[ This post was made possible by the new multiquote function™ ]

Posted by: Sanae Aug 20 2012, 03:00 AM
Just as I promised and since so far I've been having a very peaceful day at work (it helps we're like four people in the entire office!) I started reading your story and, quite honestly, I could not stop reading until the end.

Before I move on to the review, I'd suggest you get this published on fanfiction.net, I'm sure there are a lot of people there who'd love to read this story, one doesn't need to be familiar with IDWF in order to follow Perry, Meteor, Alastair and the rest of the characters based on IDWF members.

That said, I like the story a lot. It's got a pretty strong plot and, in spite of the fact that the whole Project D goes to America has been used before, you managed to give it a fresh twist adding characters that gave a mysterious feel to the story (to be honest, when I read the first parts about Perry in front of his monitors, I was kind of expecting him to be petting a white fluffy cat, no idea why...)

The style is also quite good and fluid enough to allow for fast reading. I'm not the fastest reader (even less so when reading from a computer screen) and it only took me an hour an a half to go through all 18 chapters, that's a really good thing, IMHO.

I only found two typos, one in the prologue where you wrote "piecing" instead of "piercing" and also, in the last chapter, it's CREDIT not CERDIT, right?

On a more subjective note, there were only two things which bothered me: one I could work with and it's the fact that your Takumi seems waaaay too outspoken to be entirely on character but since it's been one year since the end of Project D, you could justify it by saying he's grown up and become confident enough to treat even someone like Ryosuke like an equal. Same thing applies for Kenta.

The other thing which did bother me a bit more is that everyone seems to be on first-name basis with Takumi, if I don't remember incorrectly, the members of Project D called him Fujiwara. If you want to give your story a bit more of realism, I'd be careful with that, you know that in Japan, the use of first names implies that two people are very close, if they're not, they use their surname or they add -san or -kun after the first name. But it's your story so, feel free to do it your way!

To finish off, the title of the first chapter made me think of Mulan, you know, the song the soldiers sing as they head for their first mission....it made me laugh out loud but that's because I'm weird that way.

At any rate, it's a brilliant story so I hope you'll update it soon! happy.gif

PS: Sorry for the long-winded review!! pinch2.gif

Posted by: Spaz Aug 20 2012, 04:26 AM
QUOTE (Sanae @ 1 hour, 26 minutes ago)
when I read the first parts about Perry in front of his monitors, I was kind of expecting him to be petting a white fluffy cat, no idea why...

What, Perry is Cee Lo Green???

Posted by: Sanae Aug 20 2012, 04:48 AM
QUOTE (Spaz @ 21 minutes, 24 seconds ago)
What, Perry is Cee Lo Green???

No, no, http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2619783936/tt0062512 from James Bond - You Only Live Twice.


Posted by: Spaz Aug 20 2012, 02:16 PM
QUOTE (Sanae @ 9 hours, 28 minutes ago)
No, no, http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2619783936/tt0062512 from James Bond - You Only Live Twice.

I know. smile.gif

I was just making a joke.

Posted by: Sanae Aug 20 2012, 03:35 PM
I c wut u did thar...tongue.gif
You had me wondering why you'd think I would think of Perry as a badass rapper...oh wait... ;-)

To Honda-chan, sorry for hijacking your thread. I hope this won't hurt your muse because we all want MOAR.smile.gif

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Aug 22 2012, 02:23 PM
QUOTE (Sanae @ Aug 20 2012, 04:00 AM)
Just as I promised and since so far I've been having a very peaceful day at work (it helps we're like four people in the entire office!) I started reading your story and, quite honestly, I could not stop reading until the end.

Before I move on to the review, I'd suggest you get this published on fanfiction.net, I'm sure there are a lot of people there who'd love to read this story, one doesn't need to be familiar with IDWF in order to follow Perry, Meteor, Alastair and the rest of the characters based on IDWF members.

That said, I like the story a lot. It's got a pretty strong plot and, in spite of the fact that the whole Project D goes to America has been used before, you managed to give it a fresh twist adding characters that gave a mysterious feel to the story (to be honest, when I read the first parts about Perry in front of his monitors, I was kind of expecting him to be petting a white fluffy cat, no idea why...)

The style is also quite good and fluid enough to allow for fast reading. I'm not the fastest reader (even less so when reading from a computer screen) and it only took me an hour an a half to go through all 18 chapters, that's a really good thing, IMHO.

I only found two typos, one in the prologue where you wrote "piecing" instead of "piercing" and also, in the last chapter, it's CREDIT not CERDIT, right?

On a more subjective note, there were only two things which bothered me: one I could work with and it's the fact that your Takumi seems waaaay too outspoken to be entirely on character but since it's been one year since the end of Project D, you could justify it by saying he's grown up and become confident enough to treat even someone like Ryosuke like an equal. Same thing applies for Kenta.

The other thing which did bother me a bit more is that everyone seems to be on first-name basis with Takumi, if I don't remember incorrectly, the members of Project D called him Fujiwara. If you want to give your story a bit more of realism, I'd be careful with that, you know that in Japan, the use of first names implies that two people are very close, if they're not, they use their surname or they add -san or -kun after the first name. But it's your story so, feel free to do it your way!

To finish off, the title of the first chapter made me think of Mulan, you know, the song the soldiers sing as they head for their first mission....it made me laugh out loud but that's because I'm weird that way.

At any rate, it's a brilliant story so I hope you'll update it soon! happy.gif

PS: Sorry for the long-winded review!! pinch2.gif

Don't worry about long winded reviews Sanae! I love reading feedback and improving my writing techniques. I've read and reread my prologue chapter countless times and I never caught that typo. Derp me I guess. derp.gif

Thank you for the compliments! It really means a lot that a master like you took the time off the read what I have written. I hope that everyone continues to read, I need this kind of support to continue writing. happy.gif

I'm still on the fence about publishing this on fanfiction.net since I don't have an account there and I don't plan on writing anything else after I finish this project. Who knows, I might change my mind and publish this after I'm completely done.

On the subjective notes that you mentioned, they're really good points. It's starting to bother me too. Haha, I probably should go through all the chapters and change up the way they refer to each other before I go any farther. As for the characters acting out of character, I have a problem with that. I purposely made the time frame a year after the conclusion of Project D in hopes that maybe the nuances I wrote would be believable. Alas, I get carried away. I'll probably take a hiatus after this chapter and rework the chapters I already have done.

The title of the first chapter was actually taken from that Mulan song! I've had a few of my beta readers laugh at it too, it was kinda my point. A few of the other chapter titles are also lyrics from songs, but I guess it isn't really that obvious huh?


Anyway, I'm updating now! YAY! laugh2.gif



~Chapter 19: Found~

Bunta was greeted by the gentle breeze of air conditioning as he entered the small restaurant. Being the middle of summer, couples were out in full force. The small café was full of pairs; young teenagers holding hands, sharing tall glasses of iced tea or coffee, or eating from the same bowl of ice cream. It was awkward seeing a pretty young thing being accompanied by a ragged old man. The two shuffled around the restaurant floor avoiding questioning looks from the other customers--finally after what seemed like an eternity--they found an empty area in the far corner, Katsuko slipped into an empty booth and quickly motioned Bunta after her.

"This is probably not one of my better ideas." Katsuko stated placing her purse on the table and glancing around for a server. She sighed and with a professional wave of her hand she called forth one of the waiters from the other side of the café. Bunta raised an eyebrow as a young man, no older than her came jogging up to the booth, "Good afternoon. How may I help you today?"

"A parfait for me and..." She paused looking at the older gentlemen for an answer.

"An ice cream Sundae with extra cherries, hold the nuts." Bunta smiled.

"Oh! And two iced coffees please."

"A parfait, Sundae with extra cherries no nuts and two iced coffees." The server mirrored back to the pair, looking inquisitively at Bunta.

"Yes sir!" Katsuko replied cheerfully to bring attention away from the old man she was eating with. The waiter glanced at her and nodded before walking off to the counter to place the order. "So Mr. Fujiwara, what is a man like you doing on the streets in a car like that?' She gracefully motioned to the Impreza that stood outside next to her car.

Bunta scratched his cheek, "I should be asking you the same thing Katsuko."

"Well I asked first. You tell me and I'll tell you." She answered playfully.

"Isn't the answer obvious already? I'm a street racer."

"As am I. I'm the number one driver of the new RedSuns team."

"Oh? You mean the team that the Takahashi brothers headed before creating Project D?"

"The one and only. The older brother, Ryosuke Takahashi, and my brother both go to the same medical school."

"Interesting. My son, Takumi, is the downhill ace for Project D." Bunta scratched his chin and looked at his Impreza outside.

Katsuko's eyes widened in surprise, sinking deeper into the plush seat, her voice dropped to nearly a whisper. "You don't mean THE Takumi Fujiwara that single handedly beat every top racer in the Gunma area?"

"The one and only, Katsuko. I taught the kid everything he knows." Bunta stared at her surprised expression.

"You taught him how to drift?" She asked breathlessly.

"Yes. Now stop acting so surprised and get your jaw off the floor, you look silly." Bunta chuckled.

"I can't believe it though, your son is a racing legend and if you taught him then you have to be a racing god! I mean he defeated Purple Shadow's Toshiya Joshima and the top students from the Todou School! He's basically undefeated!"

"Well then, you were able to keep up with a racing god today. Give yourself some credit."

"Mr. Fujiwara..."

"Katsuko, stop being so star struck. You're making me blush." Bunta grinned.

The young girl looked at the man smiling at her and couldn't help but smile back. "I'm not star struck; I'm just surprised at my luck. Having the chance to race with you is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I can’t thank you enough."

"No need to thank me, I was actually out looking for a car like yours. If anything I'm the lucky one. I need to ask you some questions." Bunta’s smile was suddenly replaced by solemn frown.

"Oh... You were looking for me?" Katsuko looked down at her purse, now surprised by this turn of events.

"Well first I need to ask you how long you've been driving."

"I got my license two years ago."

"And your dad had this car before you right?"

"Yes." Katsuko looked at her interrogator with a hint of new found suspicion.

The waiter returned to the table with a little silver platter of food and began setting down the dishes. "Sorry for the wait you two! Just call for the check when you're done."

"Thank you sir." Bunta pulled his bowl closer and inspected his Sundae before digging in; counting the cherries--seven--his lucky number. "So tell me Katsuko, did your father do some traveling with this GT-R while it was in his care?"

"Yes actually, he went to Californa for a business trip a few years back." She poked at her five layer parfait, the concern quickly growing on her face.

Bunta looked at his spoon and turned it over in his hands. "Katsuko, I think you're person I'm looking for. Well more specifically, I think I've been looking for your dad."

"What did my father do?" The strawberry on the tip of her spoon fell back into the cup of yogurt.

"I'm not sure, but I would like to speak to your father about this. Is there the chance I can meet him?"

"Uh... Sure. I'll call him as soon as we're finished here." The girl looked very disheartened as she continued to play with her food.

"Thank you Katsuko. Now stop playing with your food, that's not very lady like." Bunta tried his best to give a fatherly smile.

She looked up at the man smiling at her and couldn't help but return the smile. "Hmph, you sound just like my dad."

"Ha. You're talking to an old man who has a son." Bunta grinned as he picked up his third cherry with the spoon.

The young woman laughed. "So tell me about yourself Mr. Fujiwara. What do you do?" Bunta scratched his cheek and a fairly boring conversation ensued. Little did they know, two pairs of eyes were watching them. Three booths down a young man and woman sitting backwards peering over the seat, trying their best to be inconspicuous. "Iketani, is that Bunta Fujiwara?"

"I think so Mako. What the heck is he doing here? That's his Impreza parked outside and that GT-R is right next to it. Is that girl the driver of the GT-R?"

"SHHHHH!" Mako hissed, "If you want to find out then be quiet! I need to hear."

"Okay..." Iketani sat forward and sipped at his iced tea dejectedly. A few minutes later, his glass was half empty. "Mako? You got anything?"

The young woman heaved a sigh and resumed her seat. "It looks like they're just talking about random things. Nothing really exciting. Sorry for snapping at you Iketani."

"It's ok, let's get out of here before Bunta notices that we were here." They quickly finished their food, paid the tab, and snuck out through the front entrance.

Half an hour later Katsuko finished the last strawberry in her parfait and called for the check. Bunta started shuffling through his pockets for his wallet. "Hey, what are you doing Mr. Fujiwara?"

"Paying the bill?" The old man took a few bills out of his pocket.

"Too late!" She placed exact change on the receipt and a few extra bills as tip. Getting up from the booth she beamed at the old man. "Shall we go now?"

Bunta looked dumbfounded as he stared from the money on the table to the young woman walking away from the table as he realized the severity of the situation. "Uh... KATSUKO! WAIT FOR ME!" He got up and followed her out of the café. The sun beat down on the parking lot, the cars reflected and magnified the heat, it was almost oven-like.

"Hey dad, I have someone who wants to see you... You're at home right?... Mhm. Mhm, don't worry dad. I think you'll be surprised to meet him... No! He's not my boyfriend. You'll see when I get home... Okay, okay I know. I'll be safe. Thank you dad... I love you too. I'll see you soon." She took the phone away and pressed the end call button, noticing Bunta walking out she smiled. "Well shall we be going? I'll lead the way."

"Let's go then!" Bunta followed the young lass to their cars.


Oh my, two chapters in one week. Am I going crazy? Nah, it's just my muse coming back to me! Thank you for reviving it Sanae! biggrin.gif

Posted by: Sanae Aug 23 2012, 03:46 AM
Oh, the plot thickens, ne? I wonder what the two old men will talk about (how dare I call Bunta an old man? I'll be doomed forever! tongue.gif ) also, I'm kind of liking Katsuko, she's quite a handful, isn't she?

At any rate, nice addition and, of course, I'll look forward to reading what happens next.

About your reply to my first review:

If it helps your decision, there are TONS of authors registered in ff.net who have only published one story. You don't need to become a serial novelist to have an account there. The worst that can happen is that the extra feedback you might get might actually push you into getting more creative and write more stories. I'm sure you can live with that, can't you?

Also, I love reading so don't worry about my taking time to enjoy your story. I actually started writing fanfiction AFTER I had been an avid reader for years. I continue to read stories if they get my attention and yours definitely has.

Last but not least, I hope your other fans won't kill me for causing this hiatus but I think that if you feel the need to change some things in the material you've already written, it's best doing it now rather than when the story will be much, much longer. You have no idea of how daunting a task is to review a 50+ chapters story....and you probably don't want to know! pinch2.gif

Anyway, I'm glad I revived your muse. Please let me know what she likes to eat and I'll order a maxi-portion of it for her! happy.gif

Love, Sanae.

EDIT: there are a couple of things I spotted that should probably be changed but I'll let Meteor do his job, he's a much better proofreader than I can ever hope to be!

Posted by: Saxifrage Aug 23 2012, 05:56 AM
Found a typo,at the last third paragraph:
KAUSUKO-->KATSUKO...

Anyway,I like reading fanfiction,and this one has great story,continue writing CG2 smile.gif

I'm not good at proofreading,too.So don't expect much suggestions from me.

Posted by: Tuskano Aug 26 2012, 01:52 PM
WOW... +1 reader you just got. I am at chapter 17 right now, but the storyline competly blew me away with them coming to the states and how you have the other drivers portraying those on the forums. I am not much of a proofreader as I tend to overlook alot of mistakes as I read, but I will add onto this when I am caught up with the read.

PS: I had to stop reading and laugh it off for about 10 minutes after I read Bunta's "Moshi moshi, Jesus desu." >.< ...I don't think I will ever be able to keep a straight face when I hear that now, because I can easily imagine Bunta's expresionless face while saying that over a phone.

Posted by: Meteor Sep 15 2012, 01:48 PM
Took a long while to (finally start to) review the new chapters, didn't I?

Chapter 18
♪Station to station~♫ (Because the few lyrics in this chapter get in your head)
QUOTE
The Impreza continued up the Mount Akina sliding through the turns with ease.

The first "the" here sounds weird and removing it would make the sentence sound better.

Drifting on public roads in the middle of the day? Are you sure that's a good idea Bunta?
But anyway, decent descriptions for Bunta's driving up Akina. A little vague, but the briefness provided by that is good for such a small scene that's really only meant to quickly set up the chapter.
Then he turns the car around for a downhill run and we get that classic scene where everyone's favourite chain-smoker begins taking out cigarettes mid-drift. Sure put a lot more detail into this one.
That scene was pure Bunta.

You missed two words here.
QUOTE
Admittingly, it was very noisy in the car but over the sound of the stereo, air condition, and the hum of the boxer engine itself another car was heard.

And here, the "another engine" bit makes it sound like the GT-R isn't the same car that he heard just before. A little rewriting could be done here.
QUOTE
Instinctively Bunta wound the AC off and turned the stereo down. A few seconds later the unfamiliar roar of another engine was heard and in the rear view mirror a white flash, a white GT-R.


Yep. Funny coincidence that he came across a white GT-R so soon (though I wonder if it's the same white GT-R that Alastair came across). Also, Bunta sure is loud this time. Nothing wrong with it, but I do think this line from him would sound more Bunta-like if it wasn't in all caps.

Some more vaguely described racing, but it's still written well enough to give you a decent picture of what's happening. And it's probably better this way, since the point of this chapter wasn't race scenes and the quick descriptions make the plot progress quickly. Also:
QUOTE
Bunta inched the driver’s side window down and flicked the cigarette butt out of the car, the moment it hit the ground it was crushed by sixteen hundred kilograms of raging white steel.

This turned out to be a powerful description.

They soon pass an S13 with two people inside.
So Iketani and Mako managed to hook up again off-screen. Wonder how that came about.
Nice way to give them a quick appearance. Adds to the plot development too and doesn't interfere with the chapter's main events.
And now. . . . Wait, is Bunta actually singing?

Haha, feels so weird seeing Bunta singing like that. That'd be unexpected even for First Stage Bunta.
But still:
♪RUN-NING IN THE NINE-TIES~!♫

Typo:
QUOTE
Bunta was giddy with excitement was he exited the apex of the corner. The Impreza straightened out and flew down the last straightaway before the official start of the expressway. The GT-R fell behind during that turn in a sloppy drift; it was obvious, the grip on the tires of the white car was gone.

That "the grip on the tires of the white car was gone" bit doesn't sound right to me either, but I'm not entirely sure why.
Anyway, there's the end of the race scene (and a decently written wind-down with the two cars rolling into the parking lot). As a race scene, it wasn't much. But it was nice plot development. Bunta's found something during his search, we know how good this GT-R driver is and we know that Bunta is impressed.
Now for the reveal. Who is this GT-R driver? And is this GT-R the exact same one that nearly killed Alastair?

To Bunta's surprise, the answer to that first question is a young girl with an apparent habit of expository monologues.
Now that we know that the tires are worn out and that she's worried about her dad'll react, we get the little details of Bunta disposing of his cigarette and then walking towards this new character. I always like these little details. They always add to the story without making their respective scenes drag on.
QUOTE
Bunta saw that she was no older than Takumi and very VERY attractive according to the long white sundress she was wearing.

Not sure of the "according to" bit, but I'm not sure of how to best replace those two words either.

Here come the introductions, with more nice little details strewn about throughout the rest of the chapter. So now we know a little more about Katsuko and now Bunta's running after her to open a door.
Heh. Feels weird to see Bunta running. I was expecting him to walk calmly in situations like these.

Another nice chapter with a decent conclusion. Chapter 19 review to be edited in later because I'm too damn slow with review these days.
(Seriously. It took me this long to type up just this much? Something must be wrong with me.) Chapter 19 review now up.

Chapter 19
Doing a good job at establishing the setting again. The mention of Bunta being greeted by the A/C is itself a good start and the whole first paragraph gives you enough information to know just how incredibly out-of-place these two racers are in this particular cafe.

I'm guessing "cinematic" is a suitable adjective for the descriptions of all the small moments strewn throughout the chapter (as usual). Again, they're quick, paint the scenes in your head and contribute to making the whole chapter an enjoyable read.
And the dialogue's still convincing too.
QUOTE
"An ice cream Sunday with extra cherries, hold the nuts." Bunta smiled.

By the way; shouldn't that be Sundae? Or is Sunday how it's actually spelled?
(Can't remember the correct spelling since I haven't used that word in ages. Don't really feel like checking for it in the dictionary myself right now either.)
QUOTE
"I can't believe it though, your son is a racing legend and if you taught him then you have to be a racing god! I mean he defeated Purple Shadow's Toshiya Johshima and the top students from the Todou School! He's basically undefeated!"

This is another thing I'm not sure of. I've seen it spelled as Joshima and Joushima and according to Battle Stage 2 it's Jojima (which I presume can also be romanized as Joujima), but I've never really seen it spelled as Johshima. Anyone know more about this?

So she's the Red Suns' new #1. Her driving sure shows it. Speaking of which: Are the Red Suns going to be showing up in this story soon?
Also, Katsuko getting so star struck was fun to read.
And then the mood instantly changes as soon as Bunta begins asking his questions. Said change in mood was expertly written.
And after those questions are answered, the way the mood changed back so quickly was well written too, keeping it from seeming fake.
Nice timing for Mako and Iketani to show up again. We're going to be seeing more of them in the coming chapters aren't we?

So now Mako and Iketani have snuck out of the chapter, Bunta gets taken off guard when Katsuko pays the bill before him (another fun scene) and now they're out on the oven-like parking lot (there's your talent at establishing settings again).
And one phone call later, Bunta's set to meet the GT-R's previous owner.

Looking forward to reading the next chapter.

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Oct 4 2012, 11:25 PM
Oh boo! It's been much too long since I've updated this thread with a chapter. Since you guys have been so patient with me, I am going to reward you with two whole new chapters! I'm sure this is going to leave a sad face in everyone's mind, I know it did for me since I had to stop writing after chapter 21 due to time constants. But enough of my lame excuses, let's get to feedback...

QUOTE (Sanae @ Aug 23 2012, 04:46 AM)
Oh, the plot thickens, ne? I wonder what the two old men will talk about (how dare I call Bunta an old man? I'll be doomed forever! tongue.gif ) also, I'm kind of liking Katsuko, she's quite a handful, isn't she?

At any rate, nice addition and, of course, I'll look forward to reading what happens next.

About your reply to my first review:

If it helps your decision, there are TONS of authors registered in ff.net who have only published one story. You don't need to become a serial novelist to have an account there. The worst that can happen is that the extra feedback you might get might actually push you into getting more creative and write more stories. I'm sure you can live with that, can't you?

Also, I love reading so don't worry about my taking time to enjoy your story. I actually started writing fanfiction AFTER I had been an avid reader for years. I continue to read stories if they get my attention and yours definitely has.

Last but not least, I hope your other fans won't kill me for causing this hiatus but I think that if you feel the need to change some things in the material you've already written, it's best doing it now rather than when the story will be much, much longer. You have no idea of how daunting a task is to review a 50+ chapters story....and you probably don't want to know!  pinch2.gif

Anyway, I'm glad I revived your muse. Please let me know what she likes to eat and I'll order a maxi-portion of it for her!  happy.gif

Love, Sanae.

EDIT: there are a couple of things I spotted that should probably be changed but I'll let Meteor do his job, he's a much better proofreader than I can ever hope to be!

Aw Sanae! I'll publish this on FanFiction.net after I'm completely finished with the story then. I don't want to go back and forth correcting all my typos because goodness knows how much of a pain that is. And I am very prone to making a lot of mistakes. derp.gif

I definitely have my muse back, but all I need is time now. I want to write but I have so many other things going on. I do hyper intensive writing sessions that last about five to six hours at a time but they only happen about once every month and a half. That means that half of my time is usually devoted to reading the cliff notes versions of the chapters I've come up with. I hope that as time passes I get used to being this busy, for now I'm content with the pace I'm writing at. Now more than ever since we are getting into more exciting plot points and I do all that I can to ensure the quality of my writing.

QUOTE (Nicholas86 @ Aug 23 2012, 06:56 AM)
Found a typo,at the last third paragraph:
KAUSUKO-->KATSUKO...

Anyway,I like reading fanfiction,and this one has great story,continue writing CG2  smile.gif

I'm not good at proofreading,too.So don't expect much suggestions from me.

Thanks Nicholas86! I'm always glad to hear that my story has a decent plot. Sometimes I wonder where the direction of this is heading though. Especially with these new chapters...

QUOTE (Tuskano @ Aug 26 2012, 02:52 PM)
WOW... +1 reader you just got.  I am at chapter 17 right now, but the storyline competly blew me away with them coming to the states and how you have the other drivers portraying those on the forums.  I am not much of a proofreader as I tend to overlook alot of mistakes as I read, but I will add onto this when I am caught up with the read.

PS: I had to stop reading and laugh it off for about 10 minutes after I read Bunta's "Moshi moshi, Jesus desu." >.<  ...I don't think I will ever be able to keep a straight face when I hear that now, because I can easily imagine Bunta's expresionless face while saying that over a phone.

Wahahahahaha! Thank you Tusky! I get a smile on my face every time I read this specific post. I hope you like how I'm developing Bunta's character, I put a lot of thought and consideration into his mannerisms.

QUOTE (Meteor @ Sep 15 2012, 02:48 PM)
Took a long while to (finally start to) review the new chapters, didn't I?

Heck yes it did! I was totally waiting for you to post something up before continuing. It really looks like I'm not really improving with those race scenes huh? I know I have a very limited knowledge of cars and their inner workings. I try my best to remedy it, but that isn't really getting me anywhere is it? I really hope this filler and plot advancement really makes up for what the racing scenes lack. If not then I'll be coming to you for help more often in the future.


Woohoo! My first two chapter update in a really long time. I sat down to really write this up last night because it came to me in a dream around 6PM and I finished it all around 1AM. CRAZY! I know. But I just couldn't sleep until I got everything down. So everything here is my raw emotions in words. I hope I did a good job with the second chapter in this update. I am quite surprised by the way it turned out. Dramatic cliff hangers for the win!



~Chapter 20: Two Old Men~

Katsuko reached her car first and turned to face the man following her, "I'll lead. This time no racing ok?" She playfully placed her hands on her slender hips and stared at him.

Bunta took his car keys out of his pocket and looked at the girl, he couldn't help but smile and shrug. "Okay okay. No promises though."

"Promise me Mr. Fujiwara!" This time being serious.

Placing his right hand on the roof of the Impreza as if taking an oath to office, "Yes ma'am... I promise not to race. OW! My car feels like a freaking stove. Can we get out of here now Katsuko? I'm melting."

Dropping the façade, Katsuko leaned against her car and laughed. For a solid three minutes before she regained her composure. Wiping the tears from the corner of her eye, she straightened up."Shall we go then?"

Bunta gave her an exasperated glare, unlocking his car he started the engine and turned the AC on full blast. Peering over the roof, "After you my lady."

"Thank you my good sir." Turning around she unlocked her car and climbed into the driver's seat. The RB26DETT suddenly roared to life.

Mirroring the white car, the boxer engine in the blue car roared back. Through the dark tinted window, Bunta saw the movement of a hand waving. Suddenly the car parked in the space next to him moved and started cautiously rolling through the lot. He followed and within five minutes they were back on the expressway.

Bunta was smoking probably the sixth cigarette of the pack when he remembered the bet he had with a certain friend who owned a certain gas station. Making sure that the traffic around him was calm enough he allowed his eyes to wander to the small screen of his cellphone. Holding the three button the phone automatically dialed a number. Looking back to the road, everything was as he left it, the R33 was still in front of him. Thumbing the speakerphone button and throwing the phone into an empty cup holder the dial tone sounded a couple times before it was replaced by a familiar sounding voice; "Hello?"

"Moshi moshi, Jesus desu."

"FUCKING BUNTA! YOU KNOW THAT GETS OLD AFTER A WHILE."

"Oh yeah? Then why are you laughing Yuichi?"

"Because you're stupid. Now what do you want?"

"I found it."

"You what?!?"

"I found the R33."

"No way. That quickly?"

"Yeah, you're not going to believe who the driver is."

"You're right. I think you're lying. You really want me to pay for our bar tab tonight don't you?"

"Really? You think I'm lying? Well then, you'll definitely find out tonight when you pay for our tab when we go to have dinner with the drivers of the white R33 I've found." Instead of the voice of Bunta's incredulous friend, the phone replied with silence. "Hey Yuichi? You didn't have a heart attack did you?"

"No. But I really don't want to make bets with you anymore. What's in it for me if you ARE lying?"

The driver of the Impreza thought for a bit before replying, "Oh. Let me think... You can have my Impreza and I'll do anything for you."

"Damn it. You drive a hard bargain Bunta, I'm in."

"Okay. I'll call you later." It took all the effort in the world for Bunta to keep a straight face while saying that.

"Uh-huh. Bye." Dial tone rang though out the car. Scooping up the phone he looked at the display, as it changed from the call screen to the main screen; a picture of his beloved 86 and the Impreza that he was sitting in right now with both Fujiwara sitting on their hoods. Bunta's mind began to wander back to his son, Takumi. Why was he on this crazy mission again? "OH CRAP! I HAVE TO CALL TAKUMI!"

He quickly pressed the seven and speakerphone keys before returning the phone to the cup holder. The dial tone rang four times before it was picked up by a sleepy sounding Takumi. "... Hello?"
"Hey son."

There was a moment of silence while Takumi was probably waking himself up for the mental tennis match that was a conversation with his father, "Oh hey dad. Why are you calling so late? It's nearly three in the morning here."

"I just wanted to let you know I might have found the R33 that you asked me to find."

Another few seconds of silence, the white car ahead of him exited the expressway and slowed down considerably before entering a busy downtown district. Instead of the voice of his son replying to his statement, an unfamiliar voice came through the phone. "Ryosuke Takahashi here."

"Ah, Ryosuke. I’ve found the R33 that you asked me to find."

"Hm, is the driver skilled?"

"It's not the same driver as before, but from the information that you've given me along with the sportsmanship that I've seen and the answers to the questions I've had, I have every reason to believe that this is the car that you've been looking for."

"I have no doubt in your skill Mr. Fujiwara. There are a few more things I'd like to ask of you though. Is that alright with you?"

Bunta shrugged even though the motion was quite useless in a phone conversation, Ryosuke couldn't see anything, "I'm already up to my eyes in this situation, might as well know all the details. So what do you want me to do?"

Ryosuke condensed Alastair's story into two minutes as the midnight blue Impreza followed the polar white Skyline into a gated community with large western style houses. The leader of Project D finished his soliloquy with, "Any questions Mr. Fujiwara?"

"No sir. Just tell this to Katsuko's father and see what happens from there. I understand."

"Thank you, please call us with updates as soon as you get them."

"Of course." The phone replied with dial tone for the second time that day as the R33 pulled into a large beige house with a well-kept beige Toyota Crown and red Subaru Vivio parked in the large cobblestone driveway.

Bunta pocketed his phone as he pulled into a spot next to the Nissan Skyline. After killing the engine he climbed out of the car and looked around. A bespectacled man clad in a dark colored western style suit walked out of the front doorway and strode towards the cars that appeared in his driveway. Their eyes met for a brief moment, Mr. Tomoyuki paused and nodded, while Bunta bowed; the two shared a silent greeting. Both of them smiled as the muffled click of the R33 attracted their attention; Katsuko stepped out and spotted her father. She ran towards the man and jumped into his arms. "Dad!"

The older man roughly Bunta's size tried his best to pick his daughter off the ground in a bear hug, "Hey sweetie! Is this the friend that you were talking about?"

Breaking away from her father's arms and standing next to him, she looked at the friend in question, "Yes dad! This is Bunta Fujiwara, he's the father of Takumi Fujiwara ,who is one of the two aces of Project D along with Keisuke Takahashi, who is the younger brother of Ryosuke Takahashi, who is Big Brother's best friend!"

"My my! Dear, that is quite an introduction. You'll have to give me a file containing all this information if you do anymore research into this." Katsuko couldn't help but break into a grin that made her look at least five years younger. Mr. Tomoyuki smiled, the kind features on his face reflected his sincerity; looking at Bunta he introduced himself, "Akihiko Tomoyuki. It is a pleasure meeting you Mr. Fujiwara. Thank you for making sure that Katsuko made it home safe." He strode forward and extended a hand.

Taking it up in his own and shaking it, Bunta returned the smile, "The pleasure is all mine Mr. Tomoyuki but I’m not really one for formalities, you can just call me Bunta."

"If that's the case then you can just call me Akihiko. Shall we step inside? Standing around in this summer heat with a suit is not the most ideal thing to do." He motioned to the front door that still stood open.

Katsuko was already halfway to the door when her father made the suggestion. Turning around, she called back to the two men, "I'll get some tea ready!" She took a few steps backward before gracefully turning on her heel and sprinting up the steps to the door.

Akihiko chuckled and shook his head, "What am I going to do with that girl?" He started for the door.

Bunta shrugged, "I don't know, she's your kid."

Akihiko really laughed this time, "What? No tips for me?"

"I have nothing for you Akihiko, she's a great kid and a really good driver to boot. You should be proud of her."

"And I am." He stepped off to the side and motioned Bunta in first. "Welcome to my home. Feel free to make yourself comfortable."


~Chapter 21: Breakdown~

Bunta stepped inside and peered around the elegant atrium, taking note of the minimalist Japanese style that he was familiar with. Akihiko closed the door gently behind him. He quickly slipped out of his dress shoes and walked over to a small shoe shelf to put them away. He picked up two pairs of indoor sandals and put one on. He handed the other pair to the other man. "You can put your shoes here." Pointing to the area next to a small pair of white flats that he assumed to be Katsuko's.

"Thank you Akihiko. I must say, you have a wonderful looking house here."

"Thank you Bunta. Let me show you to the sitting room."

Bunta put on his pair of sandals and silently followed the man through the house. Thousands of thoughts were running through his head, if all the information that Ryosuke gave him was really true, then how could a man this innocent and unassuming possibly attempt to kill anyone? The sound of a door clicking open brought Bunta back from his thoughts. He looked around and noticed a very clean lounge complete with a flat screen TV that quietly displayed the local news. Akihiko motioned him to step in first, nodding and quickly adding "Thank you." Bunta stepped inside and seated himself on a leather sofa.

Leaving the door open behind him, Akihiko entered the room and took a seat on one of the leather reading chairs. He picked up the remote to the TV and turned it off. "So Bunta, how was your race against my daughter?"

"She"s an amazing driver if she was able to keep up with me, and I'm sure that whoever taught her has skills that rival mine."

Akihiko chuckled, "You give me too much credit, I just taught her the basics of driving and provided her with a car when she asked for one."

"She told me that you used to race back in the day. I'm sure you taught her more than just the basics."

The man with the glasses smiled, "Ah that? Katsuko always makes me out to be a great street racer when she talks to her team."

Bunta laughed, looking around the room and he pointed to himself he stated, "Me on a team? Never. I was a lone wolf back in my day, and I'll always will be."

"Aw! Why do you like driving around by yourself? You'd make an awesome team leader! I'd give up my number one position on the RedSuns to be on your team!"

Both turned to face the door which was now partially filled by Katsuko's small silhouette holding a tray of tea, "Sorry. May I come in?"

Akihiko smiled, "Of course you can dear."

Katsuko gave her father a small nod and walked in placing the tray on the little marble coffee table she started to serve the tea. The smell of Oolong tea filled the room; after she finished pouring herself a cup, she seated herself on a smaller reading chair next to her dad. "Mr. Fujiwara, thank you again for the race. It was a great learning experience for me, I'm in your debt."

Bunta scratched his cheek, "It was no problem, I'm glad I found you when I did."

"Maybe it was destiny huh? So do you think you can get me Takumi's autograph? Better yet? Can I have your autograph?! Oh, Tokoji is going to be so jealous when he hears of this!" She bounced lightly in her seat.

Akihiko looked at her sternly, "Katsuko, Mr. Fujiwara is our guest. Please don't bother him like this."

Katsuko returned her father’s gaze for a brief second and the sudden realization dawned upon her. She quickly got up and turned to Bunta, bowing deeply, "I'm sorry Mr. Fujiwara."

Bunta was taken aback, "Katsuko, you're fine. I'll get you something signed by me when I leave."

The girl looked at Bunta who smiled and then she looked at her father who nodded. Looking around the sitting room she noticed that one thing was missing, "Dad, where is Big Brother?"

Akihiko placed a hand on the rim of his glasses in thought, "Sho's definitely home right now. Uh, I say check the library. If he's not there then he's probably asleep since I don’t hear anyone playing the piano."

"I'll go look for him, Mom's home too right?"

"Yes she is. I think she's in the garden with Hoko."

"Oh! Can they all meet Mr. Fujiwara since he's a racing legend?"

The father let out a defeated sigh and rolled his eyes, he got up from his chair and brought his daughter in for a hug, "Yes dear. Let's make this a family affair shall we? I haven’t been home in a while."

Katsuko uttered a small heartfelt "Thank you" into his chest and returned the hug. For a moment, Bunta was observing a very intimate scene. About a minute later she pulled herself away from her father and wiped something away from her face, "Thank you Dad! I'll get enough tea cups for everyone too. Don't you think we should move to the living room now since Hoko isn't allowed in here?"

"Of course. Please tell everyone to wait in the living room. Mr. Fujiwara and I have a conversation that we need to finish."

Katsuko nodded and with that she pecked her father on the cheek and skipped out of the room to look for her older brother.

Akihiko returned to his seat and sighed, "I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm usually out traveling on business so I haven't been home in half a year. With that being said, everyone is always looking forward to seeing me, but I only return to Gunma for business and then I'm off again."

Bunta waved his hand as to swat away that apology, "Don't bother yourself over this, I told you Katsuko is a good kid. You should be proud of her."

"Thank you Bunta. It's always good to be home, maybe this time I'll be able to take a vacation and spend a little time with my family. Ah, but enough of my boring family matters, what did you want to speak with me about specifically? Katsuko made it sound serious over the phone."

"Oh... well, truth be told, I wasn't out for a leisurely drive today, I was actually looking for your R33 specifically."

"Oh? I understand that there are very few of them on the road in this area. I'm flattered that you actually took the time out to look for my car."

Setting down his tea cup, Bunta mentally prepared himself for the statement that was to come. "There's more to this than just meets the eye Akihiko. I've received a call from Ryosuke Takahashi, and he's led to believe that you nearly killed someone in the States a few years back."

Akihiko froze as Bunta finished the sentence; he gently placed his cup on the table and took off his glasses. Rubbing his eyes with one hand, he sighed then began speaking--more to himself than to Bunta, "Oh god, that G25... That night... It was all a mistake." He suddenly looked up and realized that there was another person in the room with him, his hand fell to his side and there was a look of indescribable horror on his face. He whispered, "Bunta, how did you know?"

"Ryosuke Takahashi told me." Bunta answered simply.

"The owner of that G25... Did I kill him?"

"No, he's fine. He just wants answers."

Akihiko placed his elbows on his knees and his forehead in his hands. A second later, he began speaking quietly to the ground, "Well, Katsuko told you I was once a street racer. She's not lying, the R33 that you raced is of my creation. I've had that car for ten years and I've made it into what it is today. That night was the reason why I retired from racing." He took a deep breath; his calm voice began to quiver. "I run a small corporation that deals with surgical goods and supplies, three years ago I was in Northern California for a conference--back then I was still actively racing and I had brought the GT-R for an exotic car show that they were holding in San Francisco. To make a long story short, the business deal went sour and my company nearly went under. It's understandable that I was mad right?"

Bunta nodded once in silence, it was better if he heard everything the other man had to say before giving any verbal judgment.

"... I was livid, they turned me down because my company was apparently too small!" The last word came out as an agonizing hiss, the man trembled before continuing. "You know how much that hurt me and the company? The entire trip was supposed to be perfect. I was looking to double the quarterly revenue with this deal; instead I made the stupidest mistake of my life..." Akihiko's hands grasped fistfuls of his graying hair, "I promised Katsuko that I wouldn't race while on that trip... I broke my promise to her. That night, I didn't show up at the convention center; instead I took to the canyons to blow off some steam. I didn't care about what I did to my car; I wanted to beat the living hell out of anyone who got in my way. That Infiniti G25 was the first on my list. All I wanted to do was get rid of the car that was in front of me, I succeeded on the downhill. I dropped the damn car into the ravine and drove off." His voice rose with each word he spoke, his tone became more and more frantic, "I had no other thoughts running in my head. I just wanted to destroy something to fill the emptiness in my being. I should have stopped to help him. I should have never gotten into my car after that meeting... I should have never broken my promise to Katsuko..." The man's shoulders trembled as he tried to withhold his tears.

Bunta stood up from his seat and walked around the table to the man sitting in the leather reader chair. He knelt down and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Akihiko..."

"I deserve to go to hell Bunta." Akihiko looked up from the ground, he gained ten years' worth of wrinkles on his face in the span of ten minutes. Bunta looked back at him, he saw only sorrow and regret in those bloodshot eyes.

"No you don't."

"But if I was able to control my emotions that night, I probably would still be racing and we wouldn't be in this situation." He looked back down at the rug in shame.

"Do you really think that would have been for the better?"

Akihiko paused for a moment, "... I did something terribly wrong that night. I should have been the one in the ravine."

"If you did that then Katsuko would never have her loving father and your family would never have the chance to be whole again. The G25 driver is alive and doing well, he took that ordeal and turned it into an experience, he's moved on and you should too. Learn from your mistakes Akihiko; that is the only way to live life." Bunta removed his hand and waited for a reply from the other man.

Akihiko gazed at Bunta and blinked hard, new tears rolled down his cheeks. He opened his mouth to speak, no words came out. Taking his face in his hands he sobbed, the three years of pent up shame and guilt was obvious in his screams. His shoulders heaved as he tried to get a hold of himself, Bunta could only imagine the torment that ravaged the man sitting before him. He quickly turned around at the tiny sound of a door opening; Katsuko cautiously peered in, "Mr. Fujiwara, it's been more than a few minutes... what's wrong?"

Bunta stood up and stepped aside, revealing the girl's father sobbing on the armchair. "I'm sorry Katsuko..."

Bunta didn't even have time to finish his sentence because Katsuko ran up to her father and knelt before him, placing her small hands on his knees, "Dad! What's wrong? Please stop crying."

Akihiko looked over his hands and saw the beautiful face of his young daughter wrought with worry. "Katsuko, I'm a terrible father... I broke my promise to you..."

The girl wrapped her arms around his neck completely ignoring his previous statement, "I don't care. One promise is nothing. I'm just happy that you're home."

"Katsuko..." The father returned his daughter's embrace as new tears welled up in his eyes; together they cried in silence. Bunta stood awkwardly off to the side as the faint sound of barking and with footsteps grew down the hallway. Fifteen seconds later a tall young man followed by a small woman entered with a little red shiba inu nipping at her heels.

The pup wandered towards the kneeling girl and yipped while the young man stood frozen in the doorway of the room, "Father! What's wrong?"

Katsuko broke away from her father's arms and looked back at the rest of her family that was now gathered before her. She stood up and walked to the woman and buried her face in her mother's chest. The woman slowly wrapped her arms around her daughter in an effort to comfort her.

Akihiko stood up from his seat and walked towards his wife and children; shadowed by the shiba inu. Halfway across the room he stumbled, the young man caught him by the arms before any damage could be done. "Sho..."

Sho helped his father up, "Father, don't over exert yourself."

"Sho, I'm sorry for not being here more often. I'm a terrible father..."

"Shhhh... There is nothing you should be sorry about. You're home and that's all that matters." He used his wide arm span to gather his family into a group hug.



Oh man, crying2.gif to the max... How can I do this to Katsuko's family?

Posted by: steele01 Oct 8 2012, 06:41 PM
Just read this from start to finish biggrin.gif absolutely cracking bit of writing, keep it up smile.gif

Posted by: Meteor Oct 13 2012, 11:05 PM
QUOTE
It really looks like I'm not really improving with those race scenes huh?

Don't worry about that. You did do pretty good with the 86 VS FR-S race. These recent race scenes simply aren't the focus of their respective chapters (because you've got plot developments you want to get to), so it's only natural the writing in them won't stand out as much.
QUOTE
I really hope this filler and plot advancement really makes up for what the racing scenes lack.

I'm pleased to say that it does.

So 2 new chapters in one go yet again. I wonder if that's becoming a habit of yours. Not that I'm complaining tongue.gif Nice work again CG2.
A relaxed start to chapter 20. More nice dialogue, more nice little details, more laughter for 3 solid minutes straight oh wait that only happened in this chapter.
They're on the expressway 5 minutes out of the parking lot. Later Bunta is on his sixth cigarette when he remembers to call Yuiichi. This nicely demonstrates how much time has passed overall. Speaking of that call, there's your cinematic writing style again as Bunta makes that phone call. That's still appropriate here - Bunta quickly glancing back at the road half-way through making the call was a good touch. And him putting the cellphone on speakerphone and in the cup holder clarifies that he's not holding a cellphone to his ear while driving.
Might be what you consider filler. But it's still the non-boring kind.
Another fun-to-read conversation ensues. Liked how Yuiichi went silent for a bit after finding out Bunta's already found the R33. Same for Bunta struggling to keep a straight face at the end.
QUOTE
"Uh-huh. Bye." Dial tone rang though out the car.

I'm not sure about this, but shouldn't that be "A dial tone" or "The dial tone" or "The sound of dial tone" or something?

So Bunta has a pic like that on his cellphone. Imagining that pic getting taken amuses me. Details like who was holding the camera, whether or not Takumi had that completely bored expression on his face as usual, whether or not he was entirely up for having that pic taken, etc.
And now he calls Takumi and tells him about the R33. The silence on the phone as the R33 exits the freeway and slows down for some busier roads before Ryousuke eventually picks up the phone paints another vivid picture in your head.
And now he's about to meet the R33's previous driver. Nice, descriptive writing again as the two reach the house and the man Bunta's looking for steps out to greet them. And then some more fun-to-read moments courtesy of all three of these characters.

Well, they're getting along quite well already. This Akihiko Tomoyuki's seems like a fairly nice person.

(Wait. Is Akihiko a guy's name? Don't only girl's names end with ko? Eh, I don't really claim to be an expert. . . Nah I'm likely in the wrong here)

6:32 in the morning now (then the internet went derp so I had to post this even later). Anyway, I'll continue the review later. But I have to agree.
How could you do that to Katsuko's family?

Chapter 21 was good too btw.

Posted by: OkamiWind May 18 2013, 12:51 AM
Beautiful fic Honda, it's great. The character interactions I wish I could emulate, I can't get my characters to have the level of interaction! Very nice, look forward to the next chapter.

Posted by: Spaz May 18 2013, 02:30 PM
Less hiatus, go.

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 May 22 2013, 02:55 PM
Wow, its been so long since updates. But everyone writing has gotten me back in the mood for this again. So after many months of waiting I have one short chapter for you guys as I try to get back into the swing of things.

Thank you for the praise steele01! This helped me get off my lazy but to push this chapter out. Half a year later though. I'm sorry if I made you wait!

You happy now Meteor? I'm writing again. You can change from on hiatus to periodically updated.

Also Spaz, I'm writing! I'm writing! Don't rush me, I'm honored to have you as a reader though! Thank you guys!

OkamiWind, thank you for being the push I needed to finally pick up my pen to write again, but you're terrible! I should be studying! I hope you can pick some stuff out of my writing style though.

This is the first draft of the chapter so I might change some stuff up but I liked how it turned out. I hope everyone enjoys the latest chapter in Beyond the Horizon, meet the Tomoyuki family!



~Chapter 23: Meet the Family~

Bunta smiled at the unity that the Tomoyuki family shared. He couldn’t help but feel a small gnawing sadness growing at the bottom of his heart, it was impossible for his family to be this complete now. Or ever. A minute passed by, the little shiba inu yipped in delight as the hug dissolved itself. The eldest son spotted the dog chasing its own tail around in circles and bent down to pick it up, “See father? Even Hoko is happy to see you. Ryosuke has also recently informed me of this sequence of events. According to him and Mr. Fujiwara, the driver of the G25 is perfectly fine; in fact, it’s arguable that the turn of events happened to him for the better. So please, you don’t have to live in the past anymore.” The taller man held out the small panting dog.

Akihiko looked at his son and for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, he smiled. Taking up the shiba inu he spoke, his voice hoarse, “Sho, Katsuko… Hanako…” He looked at his wife the longest, “I’m so sorry for everything; I was so selfish I never stopped to think about the stress I was putting on my own family.” The pup started to whine and kick from being held so long, “I forget about you Hoko! I’m the worst aren’t I?” he set the dog down.

Hoko sprinted around to Hanako who knelt down and scratched him behind the ear, “Akihiko dear, you know that we will never stop loving you.”

Katsuko took her father’s hand in hers and look him straight in the eye, “Dad, this doesn’t change the way we look at you. I’ll always look up to you no matter what.”
Akihiko looked at his family again, his gaze lingering on the youngest daughter who
was holding his hand “Thank you…”

Hanako looked up from the puppy and finally noticed the outsider in their room. “So Akihiko dearest? Mind telling us who this is?”

“Oh!” The husband and father chuckled breathlessly and looked back at Bunta. “Where are my manners? Bunta, I am so sorry. What a way for us to make a first impression on you, I promise my life at home isn’t this crazy. Hanako, Sho, this is Bunta Fujiwara. Father of Takumi Fujiwara, one of the aces of Project D, the team Royosuke Takahashi leads. They’re currently in America, which can probably explain why all this is happening.” Akihiko paused and scratched the back of his head, without any more words to say the man grinned modestly.

Sho stepped forward and extended a hand, “Mr. Fujiwara, it is an honor to finally meet you. You have my gratitude for helping my father though this.”

“I’m just doing my job Sho.” Bunta returned the handshake.

A tiny bark shifted attention to Hanako who now stood up and walked towards the older gentleman. She was much shorter than Bunta and yet she had the tall noble air about her that made her presence seem so much larger than the small woman in a sky blue summer yukata. She gazed Bunta for a little while as a jeweler would examine a gem before setting it into their work, she bowed lightly, “Hanako Shino, Akihiko’s wife. It’s a pleasure to have you as company today.”

Bunta smiled at her and returned the bow, “Bunta Fujiwara. I am honored to be here today. Thank you for having me.” Hanako smiled warmly at the visitor as he seemed to pass the nonverbal trial that she administered.

Katsuko whispered something in her brother’s ear and darted through the door. Akihiko looked curiously at his daughter as her small figured whisped out of view. He was about to open his mouth to ask something when his son answered his question. “Kat made cookies for everyone and she forgot them in the oven.” He smirked as he said the last part and started for the door. The pup followed him out leaving only the adults in the room.

“Akihiko, Hanako… I’m sorry about all of this trouble I’ve caused you…”

Before he could finish his sentence Hanako shook her head lightly and reached out, touching him lightly on the arm to silence him, “Bunta… you have done nothing wrong.” She looked at him kindly.

“Bunta, this secret was eating away at my very being so you did me a favor. Thank you.” Akihiko looked younger as he smiled.

Katsuko popped back into the room, “Mom! Dad! Mr. Fujiwara! I made tea and cookies for everyone. We’re waiting in the living room for you.” She darted away without waiting for a reply.

Hanako started for the door as Akihiko and Bunta followed.

Posted by: shadow55419 May 22 2013, 03:04 PM
great to see you back in the game, hope it keeps up. very nice little family meeting there + Bunta tongue.gif

Posted by: OkamiWind May 22 2013, 03:18 PM
I-i'm terrible?... crying2.gif crying2.gif crying2.gif

I'm sad now...now I should finish that chapter now and weep in a corner now...

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Jan 7 2014, 11:21 AM
Did someone say update? I know its been a really stupid long time and I'm really sorry if anyone was still waiting on how I resolved this. With Meteor's return I got back in the writing mood and whipped something up really really fast. I know its short but hopefully I can get some more out in the upcoming months. I'm really busy lately but I'll try my hardest! Enjoy guys. smile.gif



~Chapter 24: Warm Up~

Alastair sighed heavily after hanging up the phone. His conversation with Akihiko Tomoyuki was brief, but in the short five minutes there were tears, anger, joy, and sorrow. According to the distant voice on the phone, Bunta Fujiwara left shortly after tea with the Tomoyuki family. The cool evening air whipped around Alastair and the rest of the Project D group as they watched the sunset over the city from the vista point high above. It was a tad bit hard to believe that this entire situation only took a day to resolve. Alastair pocketed his phone and looked at the downhill ace of Project D. “I don’t know how your old man did it… But he did. Thanks Takumi.”

The young driver looked at the music producer as he stood against the fading rays of sunlight, the warm slivers of orange light radiated from his shadowy figure. Takumi couldn’t help but smile at how well all this actually turned out, “No problem Alastair, I’m really glad I could help. So what’s next for you?”

“I’m going to continue with my music career. I’m on the verge of hitting it big now and with this whole ordeal solved, I feel like I can finally move on with my life.” He looked at all the people gathered on the vista point; everyone from Project D, Perry, and Zach. “Well guys, thank you for everything. I’ll see you around.”

With that the music producer climbed into his car and drove off without a second look back. Perry turned to his friends and smiled, “Good thing we got this all figured out. So Zach, what’s next for you?”

Zach looked out at the twilit landscape for a moment before answering, “Hm… I think I’m going to keep going with the music thing too. I know that if I’m persistent enough, I’ll make something of myself.” He turned to his car and unlocked it.

“Mhm… I wish you the best of luck, so you’re off too?”

“Yup” And without another word he started his car and headed back towards the city.

The murmur of the city below grew as the little sun disappeared over the horizon. Night settled upon Perry and the gang. “I’m hungry.” Kenta blurted out, everyone laughed and agreed it was time to get going.

---------------------------

“Holy crap! What is happening?!?” Lena tried to turn the steering in vain to avoid hitting the curb that was at least two meters away. Her hands moved randomly in a poor semblance of shifting as the car jerked to a stop in third gear. She stalled. Again. “Damn it! I’m never going to get this right!” She punched the steering wheel in frustration, the car’s horn echoed in the empty parking lot.

“Stop doing that! Do you want us to get in trouble!?” Hissed the passenger. His hands waived furiously over the wheel of the car to prevent her from hitting it again. “Now keep your foot on the clutch and try again. You managed to get into third so you are making progress. Why did you stall this time?”

“Because your stupid car doesn’t have power steering.” As she stomped on the clutch and turned the key. She grabbed the shifter and placed it gingerly into first gear. Sighing, “Do I have to try this again? I don’t want to.”

“Come on Lena! You’re really close to getting it down! At least you don’t stall in first anymore.”

“Ugh fine. I’ll try one more time.” Feathering the clutch and accelerator the car grumbled as it started to move.

“Ok listen for the sound of the engine. You should be shifting into second now.” The engine’s crescendo dropped as the car lurched forward at her messy clutch work. She stared at him worriedly before returning her attention to the tachometer. “Shift again.” Third gear. “Good! Now keep this speed and try to turn using both hands because my car doesn’t have power steering.” He laughed.

As she started to round the corner her foot let off the gas. The engine screamed and jerked to a halt. Again she stalled. “You know what Dex? Forget it! I’m done. I don’t want to learn how to drive a manual anymore. This is harder than brain surgery!” She unfastened her seatbelt and quickly got out of the car, kicking the door shut as she stormed off.

“Lena!” He also got out of the car and sprinted to catch up to her; he wrapped his arms around her waist. “You didn’t expect to get it your first couple of times did you?”

“No. But I didn’t expect it to be so difficult.” She pouted and broke away from his grasp.

“Nothing in life is easy. You know that.”

“Yeah. I know. Can we go home now?”

“Sure. You wanna drive?” He snickered.

“You idiot.” She smiled and punched him in the arm.

Posted by: OkamiWind Jan 7 2014, 12:19 PM
Yay fanfic update! It's pretty short but since you didn't update for like...7 months it's ok to do a shorty to get back into it.

Posted by: shadow55419 Jan 7 2014, 04:30 PM
keep going Lena, you'll get the hang of stick shift tongue.gif glad to see you back on the writing path too smile.gif

Posted by: Meteor Jan 15 2014, 01:57 PM
Proofreading-wise, only two things to point out here.
QUOTE
She punched the steering wheel in frustration, the car’s horn echoed in the empty parking lot.

“Stop doing that! Do you want us to get in trouble!?” Hissed the passenger. His hands waived furiously over the wheel of the car to prevent her from hitting it again.

The comma in the first one would look better as a semi-colon, and in the second one, "waived" should be "waved".

And with that done; this was a pretty short chapter that's only really here to get the fic going again, but even then it still shows things I like about this fic and your writing in general. I've already typed a bunch about how well you do in painting scenes with words, and because you can probably do without me repeating myself here, I will just say you've still got it, and the whole first part of this chapter stands as proof of that. Like all your other readers, I'll definitely be glad to see more updates. I can expect the chapters to come to have such consistently great writing to them as well.

(And now for all the other stories I'm supposed to review...)

So how is the real life Lena presently faring with manuals in comparison to this chapter's Lena?

Posted by: THE_HONDA_CG2 Jun 23 2016, 10:13 PM
Oh dang. Over 2 years? I guess I should put this thing to rest finally. I'm not sure how many people are still following this. Whether you be an old or new reader. Thank you for being so patient with me! I'm sorry if I didn't get around to writing everyone in. Life happened and I have gotten so busy. Anyway, here's the conclusion to the meta story that might have been too bg of an undertaking! I hope you guys enjoy. A conclusion is typically the end. But maybe I'm not quite done yet... You never know...



~Chapter 25 – sell out~


Keisuke stood motionless in the hall focused on the wall in front of him. He crossed his arms and furrowed his brow in concentration. Lena shambled into the hall way. Half asleep she looked at the tall young man. The past two years in the states have actually treated him well; she continued to shamble towards him and when he finally noticed her presence he gave her a sideways glance and nodded. Together they looked to the wall and stared at the giant map of the United States. The morning sun illuminated the hallway just enough for both of them to see the numerous pearl red sewing pins embedded into the wall.

After a minute Keisuke seemed to finally understand the magnitude of the meaning behind the pins. He grinned and placed a hand on the map, making sure to avoid knocking out all the pins in the wall, “Holy crap. Two whole years here Lena, three states, dozens of races—I don’t even remember how many! But Project D is finished. We are the undisputed masters of the touge. I can’t believe it. Lena. Am I dreaming?”

“Oh my god Keisuke stop being such a drama queen! Do you know how early it is?” Kenta walked into the hallway and punched his superior in the arm. Keisuke looked at his teammate. Kenta was much more skilled and looked pretty old for his age. The rest of the members of Project D filed into the hallway and stared at the map.

Lena looked around at all the ace drivers and the support crew. A tear welled up in the corner of her eye. Two years, so many races. Dex was recently accepted into Project D’s new Wangan department and scheduled to travel with them back to Japan to embark on their new adventures. Dex stood among Takumi, Fumihiro and the others; he looked dead tired but still happy somehow. She walked into his arms and stood for a moment in his embrace. Inhaling deeply, a hint of motor oil and the sweet of hazelnut creamer. She looked up from his chest and smiled softly. He knew this was going to be the last time that they were going to be this close. A tear rolled down his cheek has he grinned and kissed her on the forehead. “Lena, I’m sorry...”

She shushed him quickly by nuzzling her face back into his chest. “Shut up stupid. I know you need to do this. It’s ok! I think this is the best for both of us.” she shouted. Her words were muffled into his shirt.

Perry walked into the crowd of people who were now standing before the wall. He slowly turned a mug of chrysanthemum tea in his hands, appreciating the meticulously placed pins on the map. “I’m impressed. You guys managed to do it… but all stories must eventually come to an end. That does not mean that life is over though! All of us have a new chapter to write! I’m glad everyone is up this early in the morning. Your flight back to Japan is in a couple of hours.”
And with that, everyone went back to their rooms to finish up packing for their trip home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

At the airport after all the heartfelt goodbyes Project D plus one boarded the plane. Perry and Lena stood in the parking lot next to an immaculate white Impreza watching a jet eclipse the sun. “Perry, do you think that all of this was a good idea?”

“Of course Lena! Did things go wrong? Yes, but thus is life. You must learn to let go of the things that are out of your control. Are you sure that you’re ok with Dex leaving like this?”

She smiled as the jet passed and revealed the sun again, “Life took him in a different direction. We were slowly drifting apart anyway. I’m glad it ended like this.”

“I see.” Perry looked at her. “I still can’t believe that you managed to organize all this…”

“Thus is life Perry! We are all full of surprises. Never forget.” She unlocked the car.

“Of course.” He nodded and got into the passenger seat.

The boxer engine roared to life and started down the parking lot to home.

Posted by: Meteor Jun 24 2016, 03:02 AM
And so with an update out of the blue, it's over all of a sudden. Can't say I was expecting I'd eventually see this when I tried and failed to get adequate sleepwoke up today. It's been a journey alright. And now's the part where I'm supposed to come up with a post of decent length in response to it. Funny, I had a post half thought out in my head, but it turns out I actually didn't.

Well, time to think it out some more (and hope I come up with something that doesn't suck).

I have to say though, this end to the journey is a bit, well, by itself. It's an end to the journey, but it just feels like we skipped the journey itself to get here. If the intent was to have me wanting more down the line (should that end up happening): well played, because I actually am wanting more down the line.
It has the expected good stuff from you in it though. Once again, you do very well in setting mood and atmosphere - through both character actions and descriptions of the environment around them. And once again, the character acting itself isn't badly done, with emotional key points in particular clearly carrying the feel they're supposed to have. My words can't always do justice to the good points about your writing, but the signs of it are definitely still here, even with the small amount of room they have to make themselves felt.
But I must admit, it's still just kinda jarring how it just skips to the end like this and then ends in very little time. It just feels... incomplete. I understand that you've been needing to put some things behind you though, and sometimes one just has to finish their work too. With this, you've brought this story to a close rather than keeping it at a standstill forever, and you can now better move on to other chapters (metaphorical or otherwise). I'll take this ending over nothing at all.

(I'd still be up for more though, whether it's this story or a different one. With how you're saying this might not be the end, I can't help but hope smile.gif)

So yeah, this story's over with. Thanks for all the pleasant reading material up to now, and I sincerely wish you the best regarding whatever's next for you.
And if you ever decide to make a big return to writing, just know you'll always have people here ready for more smile.gif

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