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[Meteor]

Well. I felt like giving fanfics another try. I'll try not to make it as horrible as my previous fic.

NOTE: Updates shall come very slowly because I don't want to risk making another terrible fic.

@MattSAF1: Thanks for pointing that out! Correcting it now.
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Prolouge

'Mom! Dad! I'm going out!'

'Ok, don't be home too late!' Replied the father.

The 18 year old walked towards the garage and stepped into his car. Soon, the headlights turned on, revealing the dark green paint on the car. The car drove out of the garage and off towards the local mountain pass. Mt.Akina.

His name was Hashobu Fujio. He was 6.3 feet tall. He had black hair and dark brown eyes. His skin colour was somewhere between white and brown. Currently, he was wearing a black T-shirt and denim blue jeans along with a gray digital wrist-watch on his right wrist. It had been just some weeks ago that he'd got his license. Obviously, he couldn't have afforded a car right now, seeing as he didn't have a proper job and hadn't even graduated yet. Since his father no longer wanted his old car, when Hashobu requested for it, he was very willing to give it to him.

But the car certainly wasn't bad. It was just old. Not as old as the Trueno that ruled Mt.Akina, but it was old. But it certainly beat the ninth generation of Corollas when it came to what it offered performance wise.

The car was a dark green 1988 model Toyota Corolla S.E. Limited, otherwise called the AE94. One of the cars in the only 4WD Corolla line yet. it certainly had an advantage over the ninth generation when it came to cornering. The newer models were solely FFs, and most FFs understeer more than 4WD cars do while cornering. But that wasn't all that the old Corolla succeded at when compared to the newer Corollas.

If one compared the newer Corollas to this Corolla, they'd notice that the suspension system in the newer Corollas had downgraded it self.

In short, Hashobu's car certainly had more potential than its current successors had.

Now, this Corolla wasn't entirely stock. Over the years, the car had suffered from a little engine trouble. The faulty parts were later replaced with good parts, and in the process, the engine had gotten itself a system known as EFI. Electronic Fuel Injection. This raised the power output of the engine by a little and also increased the engine's responsiveness.

Once he earned enough money, Hashobu would install a supercharger into the car, or atleast that's what he was currently planning to do.

The first corner of Akina's uphill came into view.

Hashobu was certainly not a high-level driver, but he had been interested in automobiles ever since he was a kid. Interested enough to know what to do.

The nose of the car dipped as the tail-lights increased the brightness of the light they emitted. After the brightness of the rear lights decreased, the Corolla turned in. Soon, it drove off towards the next corner, leaving behind four long, black marks on the outside of the previous corner.

In just a few moments, the silence of Mt.Akina was replaced with the roars of an engine and the screeching of tyres.
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Suggestions and constructive critiscism are welcome. Also, feel free to point out inaccuracies.

This post has been edited by Meteor on May 21 2007, 08:22 AM

[Sanae]

Okay Meteor, you've got my attention: I'm really curious to see where you're going to take this so, keep it up and thanks for sharing this with us!

[Fujiwara Bunta-san]

that has excellent excellent excellent potential... keep up the good work!!!

[MattW]

6.3 inches tall is mighty short there.

[Meteor]

Chapter 1

8:00 AM. S City, Gunma Prefecture. ESSO gas station.

Another day of work. The guys at the gas station were discussing about last night's Project D battle between Takumi and an MRS driver. The 86 had won again. As they continued talking about the battle's ending, a dark green sedan coasted into the station and parked beside the S13 and the 85.
Hmm. A Corolla.
'That must be the new employee the manager told us about.'
It was. The driver's side door opened and out stepped the driver wearing the gas station's uniform. They guessed that he was in his teens.
'Yo! Welcome to ESSO!' Greeted the others.
'Hello to all of you. I'm Fujio Hashobo.'
'Takeuchi Itsuki.'
'Kouichiro Iketani.'
'Oi. You guys can get to know each other later. We've got customers to serve.'
'Yes boss.'

Some time later. The three, having finished their work for the moment, began discussing about cars and the ongoings of the mountain pass. They soon found out that Hashobu was rather new to what happened on the mountain passes. And soon, Hashobu was informed of the Akina Speedstars.

'We're having a team meet next Saturday at 8:30. You interested?'
'Anytime. Cya there then.'

After some more time, evening had come. Hashobu was back at home by this point. Now dressed in grey trousers, a white shirt and a midnight blue jacket.

Later came 7:00 PM. The 94 was once again on Mt.Akina. His driving was certainly far from being the best, but it wasn't bad enough for the car to come close to crashing.

Meanwhile, Itsuki, now wearing a red shirt along with khaki trousers, was driving on Mt.Akina's downhill too, as he usually did. Soon, all three mirrors lit up as they began reflecting light. A car was closing in on the 85.

Isn't that the 85 I saw at the gas station?

A right hairpin was up ahead. The 85 slowed down to a proper entry speed. Itsuki shifted down to 2nd and then, with his left foot still on the clutch and his hand rotating the steering as far as needed, he pulled up the E-brake. The exit was shabby but he managed to come out of it in one piece at about 64 km/h.

The 94 slowed down less than the 85 and began steering. But the higher entry speed didn't prove all that beneficial, and Hashobu began applying the brakes.

Exit speed? 49 km/h.

And with that example of their differing driving skills, there is no need to describe the rest of this short, uneventful battle. The 85 soon disappeared from Hashobu's range of vision.

Man, he's fast. Thought Hashobu.

Was that Hashobu's Corolla? Thought Itsuki.
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As usual, comments and constructive critiscisms are encouraged.

This post has been edited by Meteor on Sep 28 2007, 10:48 PM

[tiQlado]

Cool, you're trying your hand at fanfic, too?

One thing I can describe is that the narration is rather, well, mechanical. I'm by no means a writing guru, but I do know what I'd like to see/read. And the narration here is a little clipped (is what I can manage to describe it, sorry). Just let the words flow, man. You don't need to confine yourself to describing what the characters look like, and their surroundings. You could tell their current state of mind, what they're feeling at the moment, and how they react to their present environment and other people. I guess you could see it as a good way to also tell a little bit about the character, specially OCs, gradually shaping their character and backstory.

And in Chapter 1, I couldn't tell which point of view this was told. Was it from one of the guys at the gas station? Or told by a narrator who's not involved in the scene? Just wondering.

Anyways, those are just my thoughts. I do hope you still continue with it, no matter what. Or at least, don't ever give up writing. You'll find it to be a rewarding experience, you'll see.

Keep at it!

[Meteor]

Actually, this is the second one. I've got another fic (which uses a different writing style). I originally thought the other fic sucked, so I tried to experiment with writing styles in this one.

As for POV. The chapter is a mixture of both, but mostly narrator's POV.

This post has been edited by Meteor on Sep 29 2007, 01:43 AM

[Sanae]

Well Meteor, whereas I agree with tiQlado when it comes to the fact that it's not always necessary to describe everything, I also think it's a good idea to use our fanfics to experiment different kinds of writing styles so, keep at it!

BTW, I still like the fact that this is an Itsuki-centered fic, they're hard to find...

[tiQlado]

Ah. Looks like I missed the first fic.

But like I said: Do keep on writing. This story holds promise. You'll hit your stride soon.

[Meteor]

Chapter 2

In the meantime, The 86 was going head to head against another 86. A corner lay ahead, both cars flew around it. White was behind blue. On the following straight, the blue 86 gained more distance.

'Woaaah! Both cars just flew past us! Atleast 5 cm close to inside railing! The blue car is in front, and he's getting further ahead!'

Ryousuke remembered how the car had easily taken the lead from the start of the battle. That is no ordinary 86. That car has seen many modifications. The 4-AG engine's been replaced by a highly modified 13B. The interior has been stripped of all unneccesaries, the insulation's removed, he's installed sway bars, a roll cage, maybe even more.

I don't understand! The gap grows after every corner! Takumi feinted to the right, then used the rebound grip to take the corner faster. Just fast enough for Takumi to see the monster in front of him exit the turn. The corner-exit acceleration let Takumi know that the blue 86 had been modified to 4WD.

He remembered his 2nd battle with Kai Kogashiwa on this very course 2 days ago. The MR-S driver had been particularly difficult to beat, but Takumi had eventually managed to pass and win with a half second's lead.. That's when a mysterious person had approached Takumi, and challenged him to a battle.

And so he was here, trailing behind a hellishly modified vehicle piloted by said enigma.

Ever since that loss to his father. Takumi had applied greater effort to his driving, striving to be faster. After his near loss to Joshima, his efforts had been doubled.

But perhaps he had reached his car's limits long ago.

The blue monster had topped 200 km/h long before. No corner in sight, but the car shifted down thrice and then began braking. Nearby spectators held their hands to their ears as the 13B engine let off an incredibly loud, blood chilling scream. Takumi kept the throttle open as his 86 closed in on the blue 86. White passed blue.

The collective glow of multiple headlights illuminated the trees and guardrail in front of them. Takumi braked into the corner. Minimal angle, minimal countersteering, full throttle and high speed. He gradually decreased countersteer as he neared the exit.

Normally, Takumi would've been completely against the idea of blocking his opponents. This time, he was all for it. On exit, white immediately swerved in front of blue. The two vehicles flew into the next turn, both getting as close to the guardrail as they dared. Takumi continued blocking. And that's when the car behind him disappeared, only to reappear in front of him.

Blind attack?!

Aided by it's 4WD drivetrain and high power-output, the blue 86 took off.

Takumi often invented new techniques right on the spot in an attempt to adapt to new conditions. His mind put together a new idea.

Should I try it?

Aided by its recently installed sway bars, the white 86 began slicing through the turns faster and faster.

Two voices appeared inside Takumi's head.
You could take the turns even faster that way!
But your tyres!
Then just start it earlier on!
But you've never tried this before!
Did you try the blind attack before you used it against that Honda?
That was different!
Just try it out for once!

The white 86 was travelling at over 150 km/h. After countless practice runs, Takumi knew the course quite well. He knew where the next turn was.

He yanked up the E-brake while steering, then dropped it. Full throttle and countersteer. The 86 slid sideways through the straight. He noticed the corner up ahead. Takumi decreased the countersteer and gradually decreased throttle. The 86 took the turn at 123 km/h.

!

Heavy lateral g-forces attacked him as the rear swung out very close to the outside guardrail. Takumi quickly let off the throttle. The rear collided with the guardrail, releasing tiny fragments of coloured glass and receiving a dent along with some scratches. The rear swung out in the opposite direction. Takumi countersteered and applied throttle, then began gradually decreasing throttle, struggling to regain control. The 86 eventually straightened out.

Shitty old man's going to be pissed about this.

The blue monster was in front of him. Strangely, Takumi was able to keep up for longer now. With every corner, the white 86 got closer and closer.

The final corner. The blue 86 was still ahead, the white 86 just an inch behind. The white 86 took the inside while the blue 86 took the outside. Takumi slid very close towards the outside guardrail whilst the blue 86 simply steered. White was in front of blue.

Both cars slowed down to a stop. It was then that the smoke coming from under the hood of the blue 86 could be noticed. The driver of the blue car got out of his vehicle and opened the hood.

The 13B had never been designed with such modifications in mind, and had eventually given in as a result of all that added stress.

None of my recent wins have been on skill alone.

The ex-pro driver lost because of an animal running across the road.

Joshima was ill, I was not.

It started raining mid-battle during my battle with Kogashiwa, completely throwing him off his battle plan.

And the blue 86 would have destroyed me had its engine not decided to give up.

Eventually, all of Project D drove off.

The driver of the blue 86 looked sadly at his ruined 13B.
The moment I get this car running again, I, Toshiro Kyuga, will defeat you.

[Meteor]

Updating just for the hell of it.

This one's particularly short compared to the previous chapter.

Chapter 3

Two distinct roars pierced the night sky above. The ground shook as a red S15 and a black Evo III blazed through one of Irohazaka's straights side by side.

Author's note: Just picture the red S15 seen in the Kaido Battle games

A right hairpin ahead. The Evo dropped back in preparation. The S15 downshifted early, it's tail lights glaring red as the rear jumped up. Seiji watched as the S15 in front of him feinted towards the outside, then rocked the car back towards the inside.

There was a reason that the Evo wasn't as low to the ground as before.

Combining engine braking with the braking drift, the Evo stopped at just the point, then quickly utilised its 4WD to put all that power down to the road, and jump across the turn. The S15 driver watched as the Evo behind him was suddenly in front.

That went well. Thought Seiji in that one instant. I could increase the gap further in these following hairpins, but I don't think the suspension can take much more. I'm already in front anyway. That S15 has it's ride height lowered for better cornering stability. So he won't be able to take those jumps without breaking something.

The red S15 exited the corner 0.12 seconds behind, correcting itself just before exit. The weight shifted to the rear as inertia and downforce played its part.

And the rapid movement of pistons continued.


And once again, to Mt.Akina.

Hashobu was obviously not going to turn into an amazingly fast racer in a matter of days.

But he wasn't doing too bad.

Itsuki moved the shifter upto 4th, the needle on the tachometer dropping down to 5700 RPMs before it began climbing up again.

The driver of Akina's 85 had decided to teach the young Corolla driver.

A left hairpin ahead, Itsuki began braking while shifting down to 3rd. Then 2nd. The steering wheel was rotated anti-clockwise until he could sense the car veering towards the left. The car shifted its load onto the outside wheels as it struggled to turn. Throttle was applied again as Itsuki waited for the engine to supply enough power to slightly kick the rear out.

Not particularly impressive. But it was better than how he used to drive. Takumi's teaching had helped a bit.

Itsuki saw the 94 in his rear-view mirrors. His driving had improved somewhat, no longer making the mistake of going in faster than he could handle. Hashobu opened up the accelerator, the rear tires sliding a little before the front tires joined in.

The 94 began to slowly decrease the gap, the N/A engine not suffering from the lag that plagued the single turbine in the 85.

Heh. So you think you can catch up?

A right hairpin. Itsuki placed his left hand on the E-brake. The aged Toyota slid around the turn, fishtailing slightly on exit. The 94 followed, the rear wheels quickly locking and de-locking.

This was Hashobu's first time actually trying to drift. Naturally, he lost it, quickly steering the other way. Realising his mistake, he steered inwards again.

The sedan fishtailed heavily, then spun out. The 85 slowly rolled to a stop.

The 94 slowly moved itself back in the right direction, then rolled over to where the 85 was.

And both took off again.

This post has been edited by Meteor on Nov 29 2007, 07:08 AM