That being said, there was still a way to make the 'new' program find 'fake' malware, and I think it's what happened in this report, and I think it's a little bit unfair that they did not mention it in said report. If you check any of the boxes at the start of the scan that ask if you're experiencing any symptoms ("My computer is running slow," "I can't connect to the internet," "My browser keeps popping up ads at me," etc), then at the end of the scan it will say that it found 'symptoms of malware'. It is very careful to say that it didn't find actual malware, just symptoms--the very same symptoms you told it you had.
Now, to the credit of the report, I too had told everyone I worked with--including management--that this was bogus and that if we wanted an honest assessment we would have to run the scan without ever touching those initial checkboxes. After all, the checkboxes are designed specifically to be overbroad so that people agree to them, and the outcome is designed to be scary both to the customer (who doesn't know any better) as well as vague to the employee (who is probably just as informed about computers as the customer). After all, the program does not tell you that the reason it found symptoms is because you checked the boxes at the start. Why would it be transparent like that?
So, what it really boils down to is this--the scanner is not really the problem. It actually does do its job. The problem is that the scanner is not only easy to misuse, it is also encouraged to misuse the scanner in order to scam customers out of their money due to overly-harsh management policies and goals. Been there, done that, saw my hours hacked and slashed because I wasn't scamming people. Pretty sure it was why I never got any promotions, despite supposedly being the shining example of what corporate says their model employee should be.
So, in closing, fuck Office Depot Office Max. May they sink into oblivion.
~ I know absolutely nothing about hard-drive shredding and/or magnetic-disk melting; but that must be some high-grade ones & zeroes 
